I push the door open with one hand and pull out my phone with a heavy sigh, slowly inhaling as I inhale fresh air. I'm okay, I really am okay.
I text Jake, asking him where he is, letting him know I'll come to him. I need the air and the walk. I need the time to myself to let all that happened in that room sink in. I want to walk to him smiling, to show him that I'm so much stronger than I ever have been before.
She never fought for me, she never told me she loved me, but then she never did.
I'm not the one who is broken or unlovable, she is. Yes, I am scarred, but I'm healing, and I've finally found my way into arms I know will always be waiting for me.
Jake is watching me over a mug of coffee in the small café. My tears have finally stopped. I'm not heartbroken, just resigned and letting go of all that pent-up emotion; part of me is relieved. There really are no other words for it. His eyes never leave mine and his arms are aching to hold me, but he knows I just need a moment to let my body, emotionally, mentally, and physically, settle. I want to get through this without any outside help, it's just something I need to do.
He listens, intently, as I repeat every word from my encounter, holding my hand and letting me cry. He has wiped my tears and been the rock he always is. My Jake, grounding me, always understanding what I need.
"You don't want her at the wedding at all? No visits when the baby comes?" He's watching me closely, trying to understand my decision, wanting to affirm what and who I want in our future. I shake my head. "No, as far as I'm concerned both my parents are dead. I have my family and its surname is Carrero." I link my fingers through his on the table and tug his hand closer to me, wanting him nearer now that I feel stronger. He lifts our linked hands up to his face, running my thumb across his jaw tenderly, always so caring, and there whenever I need him.
"You'll be a Carrero soon, bambino. You're the daughter my mamma has always wanted. She told me." Jake's fingers come to rest on my bottom lip as I smile at him and he smiles back. His adoring eyes locking on mine, mesmerizing me with their green beauty. I hope our child will have Jake's green eyes, the kind that draw you in and steals your soul with love, compassion, and kindness like his.
"I love your family, even Giovanni." I giggle to see Jake frowning at me, a look of 'really?' running across his face. He shakes his head as though I've seriously lost the plot.
"My father is
complicated." He sighs, looking out across the small café, still no closer to seeing his father in any other light than the man who hurt his mother.
"Of course, because I know nothing about complicated parents." I roll my eyes and giggle again when he tugs my chin forward leaning over to kiss me across the table. The gentle brushing of his lips quells any lasting hints of sadness inside me. He sits back down but doesn't let me go.
"I know he's the strong silent type who thinks it's weak to show so many goddamn emotions, but he really is allergic to any sort of affection." Jake frowns harder, a mild irritation passing over his sexy mouth. He doesn't like talking about Giovanni in any way, if anyone has any allergy then it's Jake and the topic of discussing his relationship with his father.
"I'm sure your mother disagrees; she was definitely manhandling him under the table ten minutes before you proposed." I let out a stifled laugh at the mortified gaping expression startled across Jake's beautifu face. He looks torn between being physically sick or hurting someone.
"No, she wasn't!" He shakes his head, frowning and grimacing to remove the image from his mind, then lets me go so he can use both hands to scrub his face. "I don't even want to know." His voice is ridiculously cute. He sounds like a child completely traumatized at catching his parents canoodling.
"More of your daddy in you than you care to admit, Mr. Carrero. Your mamma and papa are obviously still very young when it comes to their libido." I smirk at him wickedly, trying to contain the laughter in my throat at his obvious discomfort, and then jump when I see that mischievous grin coming my way. He rounds the table for me and I high tail it out the door. He is a little terrifying. We've already paid so he catches up to me quickly in the street, swinging me into his arms.
"I'm taking you back to our hotel to wash that mouth
out and apply some discipline for saying really
disgusting things." He's smiling but I think I may have scarred him for life. He still has a rather pale hue and an unamused expression on his face. I hope to God he never actually witnesses any of his parents' shenanigans first-hand or Jake will need to join me and Daniel in therapy; that would be cozy.
"What kind of discipline?" I lift an eyebrow, snuggling in closer, arms snaking around his neck and pressing myself close. This could be interesting. Jake's kinky side has been toned down since our reunion but here's hoping it makes a grand comeback.
"Depends on how frisky you get between here and there... I could be persuaded to tie you down or maybe work you into some seriously aggressive angry sex." The lust fueled promise in those eyes has me squirming against him, unable to contain the way they light my insides on fire. Promises of lingering memories have me all out panting.
"Or both... you've never angry fucked me while I've been tied up." I grin naughtily as he turns from serious to boyish chuckling; his brow lifting in surprise.
"I'm seriously starting to worry about what I've done to you, miele. What happened to my sweet naïve little ice maiden? When did you start calling it fucking?" He kisses me on the nose adorably but I'm not going to be swayed. I start kissing him seductively and sucking in his bottom lip with a bite.
"Keep doing that and I'll fuck you right here in any fashion you want." Jake growls at me and my inner core self-combusts. I can't deny an invitation like that... and move in for a steamier kiss, wrapping myself around him tighter and higher. I don't care who is walking around us, or that we're standing in the middle of a busy street. He has always taken my pain away, knowing instantly what I need to help ground me, and right now I can't imagine anything I want more than a crazy angry release and a lot of kinky fun with him to forget about her and everything that coming here symbolized.
"Lucky I parked the car so close." Jake growls again against my mouth, sliding down to cup my butt and pulls me off my feet. Pinned to his taut body as he strides purposefully towards it carrying me with him, not giving a crap about the heads turning our way.
***
I'm breathless, exhausted, and most definitely satisfied, staring
at the hotel ceiling while Jake channel hops on the
TV aimlessly. He's sat up with his back against the headboard and a sheet at his waist, a little flushed and most definitely perspiring, showing signs of a lot of exertion
for once. His hair, for the first time ever, looks ruffled because I ran my hands through it crazily when we had crazy sex. It is a good look on him.
"Your stamina seems to be failing you, Mr. Carrero." I grin at him, lying flat on my back and stretched out in the afterglow of an afternoon of kinkiness. I'm sprawled, luxuriating in how I feel right now. He smirks down at me and tweaks my nose.
"I've still got it, baby, you're just catching up to match me, took you long enough." He settles on some loud macho movie and slides back down beside me. "Want to order room service and stay here all night?" His fingers come up to trace patterns on my collar bone, softly, as he leans over me on one arm.
"I wasn't aware we had any other plans while in Chicago." I point out, snuggling into him, entangling our limbs under the sheets.
"I was thinking that you could give me a tour of where you lived and grew up, but to be honest I don't want you here. I want you out of this place and back where you belong. Back in the Hamptons, getting our new house together." He places a hand on my face, stroking across my cheek, bringing his nose closer to mine so we're sharing air. Those hazy green eyes coming to draw me in like they always do.
"I agree." There's nothing here for me in this city anymore and the plan was always to stay one night and leave in the morning when I'd seen her, starting our journey to our new home directly from here. I am closing the door not only on her but also on this city and all its memories.
"Food, movies, and more sex ... Sounds like my kind of night, bambino." He kisses me slowly, then pulls back to look at me again. I can't resist the urge to reach up and tangle my fingers in his hair, tugging it a little so he leans toward me, kissing me at the invitation.
"Better make the most of it, soon our nights will be filled with feeding, crying, and a lack of sleep." I grin and watch as that filters through his over-sexed Carrero brain. The little flicker of a frown as he contemplates life with a baby.
"That's what grandparents are for, and often." He smirks again, and I can't be mad at him for that as it's another thing I'm looking forward to. How loved my child will be in this crazy family of people. Not just Jake's immediate family, but the extension of people who flock to the Carrero home every couple of weeks; cousins and in-laws and all the others who live around too. Plus, our extended circle of friends who will adore our little one as though they are blood relations.
"We really are going to be okay, aren't we?" I stroke his face gazing at those beautiful eyes, losing myself in them and daydreaming; bringing Jake's own words back as a reminder that I should always trust him.
"I told you, didn't I? I would move mountains to make sure of it, you're my world, this ..." he cups my stomach, "...is my world. I would move heaven and Earth to protect you both. You changed my entire life, Emma, for the better. I don't think you realize how much you've given me." The seriousness in his look and the way he's lingering over my abdomen sends a sweet ache into my soul and my voice catches in my throat.
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