I can't stop yawning lately, good old pregnancy fatigue has been my worst enemy and I can't even imagine trying to work like this. All I do is sit around, eat, sleep, or have sex. It really is awful when I think about the person I used to be. I know people often talk of baby-brain, but I didn't think it affected someone this early. Jake has ruined me for the real world and going back to it will be absolute hell. It's strange, I never imagined I would ever submit to being some pampered billionaire's girlfriend ... fiancée, but Jake is the king of pampering. He really does treat me like his queen.
God, I love that man.
I know it's temporary though, once this little bundle comes and gets a little older, I have every intention of pursuing a new dream, a new career. I have no reason to live life this way, indefinitely. There is still a huge part of me that wants my own achievements, my own worth proven to myself by myself. I want to leave some worthwhile mark on the world and a legacy for our children. I want to be more than just a billionaire's wife. I think I owe it to myself.
I get upstairs and pad toward our bedroom, clapping for the lights up here but they don't come on. I'm stood in complete darkness with little light coming through into the hallway of doors, the moonlight peeking through the bedroom windows of one open door, splashing little slivers of light through but not enough to see much. I kick my shoes off by the top of the stairs and leave them lying there to feel my feet along the ground, trying to replace my way while my eyes adjust. I clap louder, trying to remember where the sensors are in case, I'm not close enough.
"Oh, for fuck's sake!" I snap and clap again, but nothing happens. I haven't got a clue to where the manual switches are up here. I'm standing in the hall between doors to various rooms and no windows in the hall in front of me. It's too dark up here to try running my hands around the walls and I'm internally cursing these God forsaken workmen. It's just my luck to finally have the house done and empty for a stupid fault like this to show up. Jake is going to have to call them back here tomorrow to fix the damn things and I'll have to endure another day of them invading my space.
Carefully treading my way across the carpet, my palm runs along the smooth walls slowly until I reach the handle of my door and slide my palm round it to grip it. In the room, I know there are switches by the door and at least four lamps, plus, the huge picture window will be allowing the moon to cast some light and I'm sure it'll be a lot better than standing in a dark hall.
"Don't fucking breathe." A harsh heavy growl lashes into my ear, hot breath assaulting my face and the metallic smell makes me gag as I freeze like a stone cold statue; an arm comes around my throat at lightning speed and my mouth is covered cruelly, blocking out my ability to squeal. Everything inside of me thuds with a sickening terror and my blood turns to ice in my veins.
A rough hand crushes my face painfully, bruising my lips against my teeth. I'm pushed forward against the door with force, my body pinned hard and heavy with a thud so that I don't have any time to react. The solid weight of a big man crushing against me cruelly and restricting my breathing brings sheer fear and consuming panic through my hazy brain. I'm imprisoned with a dead weight and can't move a single muscle. My feet planted on the floor are pushed far apart with a kick and the disgusting wide body and legs of a man are forced right against me from toe to head. His erection forced up against my ass, making me still and complaint with sheer feint fear. I can sense the aggressive violence pulsing in the air around me, crackling like stars in my vision.
I can't breathe, or see, or move but I can smell, all my other senses in utter chaos. My heart thudding hard as my hands claw at the wood in front of me, instinctively, looking for anything to grab. But my sense of smell invokes a memory that has my knees trembling and bile lifting from my toes, a cold sweeping wave of panic and realization hitting me hard.
I smell him.
I know him.
I choke on my own terrified tears as it creeps through me.
Ray Vanquis is here with me all alone.
My body goes into temporary shock from the fear and I can't move, his rough hands painfully and cruelly grope my breasts from behind as he keeps me pinned against the wall immobile.
My mind races back to the desolate horror of my teenage assault and the way he exerted power over me in Chicago. My body trembling, involuntarily, and my mind constantly racing to the miracle inside of me and my maternal need to protect it against all odds. This isn't just about me anymore; I need to replace the strength to save my child from what I know is coming.
He's going to take what I denied him a few months ago, and back when I was a teenager; payback for Jake for beating him. He is going to ravage my body sexually in ways that will devastate my mind emotionally, but I can't give in to this. I have to search deep inside myself for safety with my baby and wrap my body around us; lock us both in and let my mind detach.
I can't fight someone like him, I could try but I know he would beat my child from within me and it matters more than the damage he could ever inflict on me. "Remember me, darlin'? I didn't forget about you, my little whore. You and I have some catching up to do." He snarls against my ear, pushing a hard-erect lump into
my ass and roughs up against me, straining through his rough jeans. His rancid breath is heating my face and making my skin crawl in revulsion. My heart pounding through my chest and all I can do is squeeze my eyes shut, trying to will Jake to know I'm not okay, for some sixth sense to make him feel my need for him; mentally calling for help, attempting to keep my body from unraveling at the panic building inside of me. All rational thought is fleeting away, and I know I am completely and helplessly about to be abused. Ray succeeding where previously he failed.
I know it's pointless trying to telepathically call for help. Jake flew to Manhattan, he's an hour by plane, four hours by car, and not due home until the morning. Mathews is on some goose chase for keys and could be just as long. I am alone, but Ray knows he doesn't need long to inflict lasting damage on my soul. He only needs a few minutes to subdue me, even if Mathews is heading back. This will take me away from Jake, remove my ability to handle a man's touch, and inevitably take my life from me. I try to flex my body, to get some purchase but the biting grip and heavy pressure collapsing me into the door takes my breath away. If I fight against him, he will push down with more aggression and I can't let him hurt my child.
My baby girl! I know it! My little Mia, maybe ... Mommy is going to protect you, my sweetheart. We'll hang on in here. Just listen to my voice; we're going to be okay.
She is the one thing I must protect no matter what he does to me.
"What do you want?" My voice is small and shaking as his hand uncovers my mouth while he changes his grip position, my palms are flattened to the cold door in front of me, and I'm trying my hardest to claw back some sense of calm to my fevered mind. I'm so terrified I can barely breathe but strength is chanting through my fear addled brain that my baby needs me to stay calm.
We're going to be okay, baby girl.
"Your rich prick boyfriend and I have some unfinished business and man, I have been patient, waiting and watching. Did you feel me, Emma? In your house? Watching you from afar? Did you feel me near you and sense the way my cock hardened for you anytime you passed me?" The smell of his breath in my face makes my choke, as his dirty mouth comes to my cheek. I try to recoil from him, but the biting grip on the back of my neck pushes my face hard against the door. His disgusting slimy tongue makes its way up my cheek and his hot sour breath assaults my senses. I gag as a huge bolt of nausea lifts in my stomach, lurching over and over.
I gulp down my tears, fighting back the cold wave of terror. Then it clicks in my brain; he was the man watching me from the shadows, the one whose eyes I could sense on me occasionally! The one lingering around that I'd noticed the last couple of days. He'd been here, among the workmen, all along. He's probably the one they trusted to bring the keys back to me. My gut tried to warn me, tried to tell me that something was off about him, if only I'd voiced something to Jake at the time then Ray would've been found out.
Jake, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. My baby... our baby. I'm sorry.
"If you hurt me, he'll kill you. He won't just come after you, Ray. He will fucking kill you, slowly and painfully, and enjoy every fucking second." I snarl between clenched teeth willing myself to sound braver than I feel. I am trying so hard to get my body to draw in some strength to stand stiffly, instead of the mush of Jell-O I am right now. I know I shouldn't be antagonizing him but the inner fight in me is replaceing her feet at the thought of those clear green eyes, his sexy natural smile, and our beautiful baby girl. My inner strength urging me to protect them both.
Mommy's got this, okay, baby girl? I've got this.
"Baby, I want him to know what I do, to see what I've done to you. I want to know the agony he's in when
he's looking for you and knowing I have you and I am fucking every part of you until you bleed." His raspy threat ends with a hard bite on my ear, sting, and warmth oozes instantly down my neck. I scream in pain impulsively, the sound muffled as his fingers bite back at my mouth, crushing me to silence once more.
My inner rage kicks out and I try to elbow him, my
leg thrusting back in sheer defiant hate, only meeting
with defensive blows. The pain, kick-starting that inner teen rage, lashing back to fight and to be free, to never be his victim again.
He laughs, grabbing the back of my skull and with alarming force pulls back my head, smashing me forward into the door with a bone crushing thud to my forehead that draws instant nausea up my throat and blood into my mouth as my teeth pierce into my tongue, my nose collides with the door and heated liquid runs down over my mouth.¶¶¶¶¶¶¶
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