"Oh, do you have company and can't talk? Sorry, I just missed your voice, it's beyond sexy, and I am so excited about seeing you." She purred irritatingly, and Jake had to steel the urge to tell her to forget all of this.
"Yeah, I missed you too, bambino," he said flatly, still feeling Emma's presence burning into him like rays from the sun, he wanted to just curl up and die about now.
"Okay, well my flight gets in around four, so I may hang around at the airfield for you if that's okay?"
"I'll meet you there," Jake said quickly and didn't wait for her reply just hung up quickly to stop the way his throat was trying to strangle him to death with guilt. He slid his phone back into his pocket and couldn't look at her at all, every part of him felt like a complete shithead as though he was openly cheating on her. In his own head, he was, and it had the ability to stop it all if he let it.
Fuck.
"Who?" Emma blurted out and caused another slice to his heart. He couldn't tell her it was the girl he used to replace her so many times when she first started working for him. Brianne was small, blonde and could have been Emma's sister to look at, but she didn't need to know that.
"No one you know. Old flame." He closed his case, throwing her a fiery look, willing her to back off and not pursue this agony.
"If that will be all, Mr. Carrero, I'll leave you to it," Emma said icily and threw him a look that translated to nothing at all, completely deadpan. She was stiff and devoid of emotion. Sad that he had made it happen this way, pushed her to this version of her that she hadn't been since the first week he had known her, but this is who he needed to see from now on.
"Tell the others, after I'm gone, I had to go away for a couple of days." He was picking up his case, his body stiff with tension and he just had to get out, he couldn't breathe now it was getting closer to leaving her. He was slowly suffocating and on the verge of some sort of anxiety attack.
"What reason shall I give?" She was painfully polite and factual. Another nail in the coffin of his heart.
"I don't give a shit, Emma ... the truth for all I care." He flexed his eyebrows sardonically at her, really completely done.
Jake lifted his bags and strolled out purposely past her, not looking her way again and determined to just go and be done with it. The sooner he put distance between them the sooner he would be able to think straight and start rationalizing all of this. He could start to move on and no longer initiate anything non-business related with her.
He felt her follow him down the hall and willed her not to ... to stay back and give his heart a chance at letting go of her, he was weakening with every step toward the back of the boat, doubts flooding in and that inner part of him that eternally wanted to protect her clawing him back. To stop, to go back and just get on his knees and beg her to forgive him for being an asshole, but he couldn't.
He knew all it would take was her following him here and one sad look, one sad fucking set of baby blues his way and he would bail on all of this because, like it or not, he fucking loved her, and the last thing he wanted to be doing right now was leaving her for anything in the world. It took all of his strength to walk the last steps and hand his bag to the waiting crewman he had told to get the boat ready. If she came out now he was done for, he knew how weak he was when it came to her, but she didn't.
She had retreated before he hit the open air and had probably gone back on deck. She had let him go because she had never loved him and as much as he hated himself for doing this it had never been so fucking right. She had made it clear, and he loved her enough to let her fucking go.
He needed to replace his own sanity again, and if he could do that between the legs of Brianne it would be a goddamn start.
***
By the time the plane touched down in New York Jake was beyond drunk, he had hit the booze hard on the four-hour flight and was at the point of seeing double. He had tried to drown his sorrows and give himself enough Dutch courage to see this through and gone way overboard. He had been consumed with her, memories of kissing her, aching to go back and just stop this bullshit. God, he missed her already.
Just being away, the miles widening,
had been torture for him, and instead of distance giving him the ability to breathe he had felt each mile choking him to near strangulation. He was so fucked over this girl and out of control.
Every part of him wanted to the net
around and go back. He had pulled up her name on his phone a hundred times and just stared at it, stopping himself from drunk dialing her and telling her he was an asshole because he fucking loved her to death. And he did... all-consuming, every single aching part of him loved her beyond anything he could ever explain. She was his world whether she wanted to be or not and he was a major idiot for letting it get this far.
He hovered over the song he had pulled from his iTunes a hundred times and thought about sending it but didn't.
Apologize One Republic.
He wanted to tell her he was sorry, he felt like the biggest prick in the world and his heart was wrenched in two at being this way to his angel. His beautiful perfect fucking little angel. God, he was so fucking drunk.
Getting off the plane had been an ordeal, he hadn't been this smashed in a long time and almost fell down the steps onto the runway in front of Jefferson. He casually came and helped Jake walk to the car with a silent unamused expression on his fatherly face. Jefferson knew better than to say anything; he had been there through Jake's wild years and tended to let him get whatever was eating him out of his system in any way that Jake felt necessary. He just helped Jake get into the car and almost groaned when he saw Brianne already there and grinning
his way. She really did look like
Emma in a devastating way, but she
wasn't her.
No one would ever compare to her even if they were fucking twins who had been separated at birth.
Fuck.
He realized the privacy panel on the limo was already up and groaned, he knew only too well what that meant and didn't have to even look to replace she was naked under her fur coat as Jefferson closed the door on them, locking him in his dark hell with a girl who was only focused on sex. Jake was seriously regretting this all over and laid his head back on the seat and just closed his eyes.
"You smell like booze, Jakey baby, did you start without me?" She smiled and crawled over suggestively to straddle his lap as the car moved off. Jake didn't have the energy to react. He just tried to not see Emma in his mind's eye as small hands ran up his abdomen and chest and started unbuttoning his shirt. He was no stranger to sex in the back of his cars but right now he didn't care if he never had sex again as long as she let him sleep this off. She tried to kiss him on the mouth, but he turned away. She wasn't her, she didn't kiss like her. He wanted Emma.
"Hmm, yeah." Jake was trying to just sleep, his swimming head trying to give into the darkness, the only thing stopping him was the probing hands on his body or the small wet mouth now moving across his neck and
collar bone as she exposed skinnet
Jake Couldn't deny his body was reacting, but he also couldn't deny the whole fucking time he was seeing and hearing Emma in his head. Closing off Brianne completely and just letting his head go any route it wanted. He was definitely getting hard with the writhing, small body on top of him and his hands automatically slid up naked legs under a fur coat to replace soft naked skin and curves.
He opened eyes and looked down at the blonde hair across his chest as she licked and nibbled her way down, breathing in her musky perfume and instantly hating that it wasn't tropical or sweet. It was all wrong for how she looked.
Her body ducked lower, and she started unbuttoning his pants, horny Jake starting to take control of his mind and with a visual so Emma-like he couldn't help but react. He shoved her back and helped speed the way, unbuttoning and yanking them down until he was fully exposed and ignoring her face. If he looked at her he would know it wasn't her and wouldn't be able to do this. He closed his eyes again and relaxed into her mouth devouring him.0000000
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