The Change (Fated Series: book1)
Chapter 20 - Best intentions

Nessa

As they made their way downstairs Nessa questioned her resolution to attend this party instead of going out. Marcus was surely keeping things social and interactive – just as any Alpha would do, he was going out of his way to hold meetings and gatherings. As werewolves were social animals with a pack mentality, they sought contact with one another. Nessa could see Mother Nature’s work in place. Being social implied exchanging information, communicating and forming alliances against common threats. This was how the sense of belonging to a pack was established. It was through such events that Alphas created opportunities for pack members to meet other wolves and to hopefully replace their mates.

Nessa took a deep breath. Having a wolf that was so withdrawn, made her bitter. She could watch from the outside but she would never again experience the rush of anticipation at the endless possibilities. Shying away from such gatherings gave her more than enough time to retreat into the magical world she created whenever her fingertips danced over a keyboard.

Nessa had accepted she would never again have that connection to pack or to a man. It was partly why she was so reluctant to believe Marcus. They couldn’t be mates and she was not projecting images to him. It was easier to accept the reality than to cling to hope and get hurt again.

But the beacon of hope was still alive in her heart. She wanted to belong somewhere and to someone. Marcus was a lot of things but she knew he wasn’t cruel to dangle mating in front of her. In fact, the more she thought about it, she wouldn’t mind living with the illusion of being his mate for a couple of weeks, even if that was all it was. Marcus wasn’t a sore sight for the eyes. He was delicious and could understand her better than anyone. They were both stubborn and independent which made their dynamics more passionate than most. She enjoyed his arrogant smirk and the way they were together. But was it enough? She wanted romance, dates, and courting just like in the movies - a love that great that it transcends the time. But if things didn’t work out with her Fated, could she hold hope they would with a Chosen? Would she be enough to keep him in the present and not looking back into his past?

Nessa realized that she was jealous of his past. True, they both lost their Fated. He had love and she only knew disappointment. Life wasn’t fair. So how would Nessa be even able to compare to Marcus’ Fated?

Alpha Ned’s name represented family values, and as such it was common knowledge, he was on the hunt for the rogues who murdered his mate. Nessa was selfish and didn’t want to fall in love with the vengeful Alpha, only to lose him. There were many things that could go wrong even with the most careful planning. Nessa knew she would not make it through another heartbreak.

Nessa bit her lip as her mind wandered back to his strong arms. She felt secure, protected, sheltered. If someone messed with her, he would come to her side guns blazing. Ah, she was such a sucker for him that he didn’t have to do anything else than just be. Even mundane things became sexy or romantic when they involved Marcus. Could she be already developing deeper feelings for him? And how was that even possible over such a short time? Unless, it was true they were, and if so, would she be enough to persuade him to stay alive?

No, she could not ask him to give up his revenge because of her. Making him choose was the fastest way to lose him.

Marcus was hurt. He had the right, and the means to exact his revenge. Maybe that would help him heal. Just like Nessa needed Marcus to finally move on and reject Brandon, she needed to be there for him. The much needed closure was fundamental in their relation.

Nessa thought about Marcus’ Fated - Luna Emma. Other than her name, Nessa didn’t know much. Emma’s assassination was all over the news shortly before Nessa’s rejection. It was a time of her life when Nessa didn’t want to remember. But now as Luna Emma was more relevant than ever for Nessa’s personal life, she needed the details.

Marcus was the best source of information, but she was afraid reminiscing about the past could do more harm than good for him. She certainly didn’t want to open the self-blame can of worms so she decided to avoid talking about Emma with him. It was the right thing to do. Nessa never named her Fated in front of Marcus and didn’t want to talk about Brandon with him because of some twisted fear he would replace her inadequate just like Brandon had. Besides, you just didn’t talk about how much your ex messed you up by cheating after he had marked and claimed you? That wasn’t a conversation to have with a Chosen mate.

But Nessa needed to know about Emma if she was going to help Marcus. She didn’t want word getting around that she was inquiring in his mate’s dead. And if it did get out she thought Marcus would appreciate it to be kept in the family. Alphas relied on their Betas and considered them the closest. So it fell upon Cam’s shoulders to help her out. She had to just come up with a way to casually ask him. As if that would be possible.

Nessa frowned. No matter how you sliced it, she was sticking her nose in Marcus’ past. If Cam hadn’t figured out the extent of her relationship with Marcus at her apartment, there was no doubt he would know by now. If they were Chosen mates, the Alpha in Marcus would not have been able to keep it from his Beta. Cameron would know. She only needed to replace time to talk to him.

Nessa needed a drink to shut down some of the thoughts that were running through her mind. She considered dosing her drink with Bane to slow down her metabolism and experience the boldness that came along with getting drunk. She could then be incredibly intimately-suggestive with Marcus, while still having a proper excuse if her advances weren’t reciprocated. But Marcus claimed he was her mate, which automatically meant he’d want her advances, wouldn’t he? Nessa started questioning herself, and her insecurities poked their ugly heads.

She shook her head chasing away her doubts. She had a party to attend and Marcus to catch. She’d figure out things when the Fates decided it was time for her to know their plan.

The welcoming party for Alpha Lee was a very formal event. Strong and absolutely gorgeous werewolves were dressed in tuxedos, which further emphasized their build and muscles. She-wolves wore beautiful gala gowns which made Nessa’s black cocktail dress insignificant, inappropriate and all together underdressed. Nessa disliked feeling so out of place! Actually she hated it. The classical music was gently floating through the speakers.

“A perfect setting for a perfect fairy tale story,” Nessa made a mental note to recreate the atmosphere in one of her stories minus the discomfort that she was currently experiencing.

She arched her eyebrows and shared a look with Nicole. Nicole shook her head and they both looked at Michelle who was currently playing with the ends of her bag chain, crushing them in her hands. Before they could say something to comfort her, a shadow cast over them and a husky voice spoke.

“You look absolutely gorgeous. May I have the first dance?” Vincent asked and slightly bowed in front of Michelle who giggled at him like a schoolgirl, totally forgetting about her friends and her nervousness. It figures. Mates were supposed to sweep you off your feet. The fact that Nessa personally had a whole other experience should not dampen her friend’s happiness. Vince looked so whipped and under Michelle’s spell, too that it made Nessa smile. This was how mating should be.

Nicole decided to head off for the refreshments and drown her fashion mishap into as much alcohol as she could get her hands on. So much for sticking together! Nessa nervously drummed her fingertips on the railing, watching the couples that were circling the dance floor.

Waltz. It seemed so romantic, classic and ….

She took a deep breath to calm herself and was content on people watching until her eyes noted Brandon gawking at her. What was that oaf staring at? She threw him a murderous glare and then quickly pivoted on her heel, deciding a drink was becoming more appealing by the second.

“Champagne for the lady,” Cameron appeared out of nowhere and handed her a glass of champagne. Nessa looked at him suspiciously then accepted the drink. She needed to talk to him, but there was no right way of starting that conversation. Cameron leaned into her, whispering in her ear. “Alpha Lee is always the dramatic type. Don’t take to heart his theatrics or the constant back and forth with Marcus. They are actually really good friends.”

“I noticed. Speaking about the Alpha….”

“He is in remarkably good mood, despite Pack Law’s arrival,” Cameron interrupted her question about Emma. As more people circled around them, Cam changed the subject yet again. “I would offer a dance, but I am afraid I don’t know the bloody steps to this dreadful music.”

Vanessa laughed. Now that was the Beta she had come to know through the years..

“I just happen to be a good teacher. Still keen on dancing with me?” Nessa offered noticing the anxiety on his handsome face. She knew he was more than reluctant. Nessa took his hand in hers and pulled him towards the dance floor. He could thank her later. His future mate whoever she might be would be grateful.

Nessa showed him the steps, constantly whispering guidance into his ear. After several attempts Nessa knew his dancing skills would not be fixed overnight, but did not have it in her to tell him. He was actually quite excited to be finally learning the steps. Her toes were thankful when he finally gave up and swiftly lifted her up in his arms, only to start spinning around, pushing the dancing couples apart. Nessa smiled at him. The dominance of the Beta was bound to surface and Nessa quite liked his take on the dance.

He definitely brought up the playful and carefree side of her. They simply got along fine. Even more so, after the encounter they had in her apartment. She blushed. He had successfully seen his Alpha bossed around and insulted by a mere she-wolf, who actually kept her head. It didn’t take a lot of brains to figure out their relationship. Nessa was sure that part of the reason why she was this relaxed around Cameron was because he knew. At least one person knew how close she was actually to the Alpha and did not voice out concern. If anything he was being supportive, just by the simple fact that he didn’t bring it up. He already knew and honesty, he was taking her mind away from the dark thoughts that she was having. If Marcus trusted him to be his Beta, then why shouldn’t she trust him, too?

Nessa laughed as Cameron started twirling her around with the hidden agenda to make her dizzy and call it quits on the dance. But she knew better. She closed her eyes and let her senses direct her. As Cameron pulled her towards him, a hand cut in. Nessa’s eyes snapped open only to discover that her new dancing partner was none other than the ridiculously courageous guy from the night before.

“You?”

“Me. I’m Lee. Alpha Lee!” He confidently explained.

“That explains why you are still breathing,” Nessa concluded.

He chuckled.

“Ned is not as vicious as he’d like to think.”

“I see why you are friends with him. He lets you get away with things.”

“Not nearly as many as I would like, or you’d be moving in with me,” Lee flirted.

“No, can’t do. I would never cause Cam so much paperwork,” Nessa replied without hesitation, while her eyes scanned for Cameron. He was nowhere to be seen. Typical! He must have assumed she was in good company. After all the two Alphas were friends. She just didn’t want to sit through the interrogation and warning of anyone approaching their tight group, especially when Marcus was certain she was going to be a big part of their lives.

“It seems to me Cam will handle your departure much easier than Ned,” Lee started, confirming her suspicion he suspected her relationship with Marcus. He guided her towards the periphery of the dance floor, then quickly escorted her through the sliding doors onto the balcony. She frantically looked around for Marcus. Where was he when she needed an excuse to avoid the impending conversation?

“What are your intentions with him?”

“Really?” Nessa asked condescendingly only to provoke a growl from his chest.

“He lost a mate and is set to avenge her. What’s your angle into all this?”

“I have no angle.”

“Nonsense. Everyone has their own agenda,” Lee focused his glare on her and Nessa had a hard time not to cast down her eyes accepting his dominance as an Alpha. “Don’t lead him on!”

“With all due respect, Alpha, it’s none of your business.”

“He is still grieving. If you want a wild night, by all means proceed. If you want expensive gifts, go for it. But don’t you even think about his title,” Lee finally made his warning.

Nessa smiled at him. Lee was so clueless that it made her wonder if Marcus had confided in him at all.

“I hate to break it down to you, but I don’t need you to give me permission for anything.”

“I am his best friend. I am warning you before I take matters in my own hands.”

“Alpha Lee, why don’t you ask your best friend for his intentions?” Nessa smiled at the Alpha clearly not taking his threat seriously as she turned around without waiting for his answer then added over her shoulder, “See how that conversation goes.”

Michelle

(In the office of the Blackwood’s Alpha)

Michelle sat on the coach and pleadingly looked at Vince who shook his head. The last thing she had envisioned tonight was talking to Alpha Ned. While Nessa might have enjoyed his company, that was certainly not the case with Michelle. He was the authority who could make her life a nightmare just as easily as welcoming her to the pack. Unlike Nessa, Michelle had something to lose. Vincent didn’t even realize just how much he meant to her. She couldn’t believe that her mate, the Gama of the pack, found it necessary to drag her all the way into the Alpha’s office reprimanding her for her comments. Where did the freedom of speech suddenly go? She had every right to her opinion and if he didn’t like what she had to say about Alpha Brandon, then too bad for him. Michelle was not going to compromise her integrity now by saying something she did not believe in. While mates seldom became infuriated with each other, Vincent’s behavior was surely going to land him in the dog house. Pun intended.Vincent sensed her murderous glare and sat next to her, cupping her knee with his paw preventing her from stomping. Yes, she was super nervous. Why the heck did he need to involve the Alpha?

“This better be good!” the Alpha’s voice came through the door before he shut it behind him.

If Alpha Ned was surprised to see her there, he didn’t show it. He had a very good poker face. There was not even a trace of the slightest emotion. Michelle remembered Nes describing him as moody, playfully calling him grumpy pants, but that was the understatement of the year. Alpha Ned was lethal, his presence quickly suffocating the room.

Vincent had stood up the moment the Alpha entered. Michelle followed suit, scared to anger the Alpha. What she didn’t want to accept was she liked feeling her side pressed against Vincent’s. She was already addicted and missed her buffoon’s reassuring touch. It was amazing how quickly her wolf got attached to him.

“I would like to officially request a sanctuary for Michelle.”

“Sanctuary? Isn’t that a bit extreme,” Marcus addressed Vincent. Michelle was secretly thankful his attention was not directed at her. The Alpha made her nervous and she didn’t want to embarrass herself so soon after meeting Vincent.

“Just a precaution at this time,” Vincent replied.

“I know Pack Law’s presence is making everyone antsy, but this is hardly needed. Michelle is your mate, and you know she is already part of the pack. We’ll just finalize the paperwork later on and hold a mating announcement for the two of you,” Alpha Ned laid out his plan.

“I might need your official support even before we are mated,” the Gamma explained looking at Michelle quickly. “My mate harbors a true animosity towards Alpha Brandon. She is reluctant to talk to me about it, and I have a feeling it needs to be aired out before it festers.”

“Animosity? Isn’t that a bit dramatic?” Alpha Ned repeated looking at his Gamma with amusement.

“Michelle is short tempered, but the things she backhandedly says for him can land us in shit.”

“Well, he’s not the most charming person I know, so mayhap she has a good reason. Did you ask her nicely? Using the magic words?” Alpha Ned jokingly asked his Gamma. When Vincent gave him a pointed look, Michelle could swear they exchanged words through the mindlink.

Alpha Ned sighed and sat down on the sofa opposing the one Michelle and Vincent were at and visibly relaxed. There was no doubt whatever passed between the two infuriated him, but he tried his best to control his emotions.

“Michelle, I would like to welcome you to Blackwood and to sincerely apologize for the lack of manners of your mate. You see, he had lost hope of replaceing his mate and turned rather sour through the years. He is scared of losing you and will do anything to protect you, but he can’t protect you from what he doesn’t know. So instead of using words like “please” and “thank you”, he figured I should be involved. I’m sure you will make him understand your position in time, but for the time being, is there something I should know?”

Michelle looked at Vince for help only to witness her mate shaking his head denying her any support. So much for a loving, supporting mate.

“Asshole,” she mouthed at Vincent. The chuckle coming from the Alpha was the last thing she expected.

“You are aware that you should woo her, correct?” Alpha Ned jested looking at Vince with an amused glance. Vincent’s face remained impartial. Alpha Ned continued to reassure Michelle, “He’ll get there.”

“I’ll make sure he does,” Michelle promised.

The long silence that followed made Michelle feel like she was being scolded in the principal’s office. Damn, the Alpha was good at creating report just before he guiding the conversation to the point.

“Should I be concerned?”

“No,” Michelle quickly replied. She might dislike that dog but she would never undermine Brandon publicly. She wished she could just talk to Vincent, but it wasn’t her story to tell.

“But?” The Alpha pressed sensing her unease.

“What are your intentions for Nessa?” Michelle asked, holding her chin up, fully aware she was questioning the Alpha. The things she did for friendship.

Vincent’s face paled instantaneously at the flat disrespect.

“Alpha, she doesn’t know any better…”

“Yes, she does. Let her speak her mind,” Alpha Ned replied. Going out on a limb was never her forte. Michelle bit her lip and lowered her eyes.

“Should I be concerned?” She asked nevertheless.

“Michelle Sarinta! You do not question the Alpha,” Vincent roared.

“It figures Nessa’s friends are going to be as fierce and independent as her. I care for my pack, Michelle, and I’ll do anything to protect them, That is why I need to know if there is something about Alpha Brandon that I should know about,” Alpha Ned explained.

“You see, Nessa wants to hang around with tigers, but got bit pretty badly the last time she played with one. I would hate her to get near another and have the same encounter. It’s the same with apples. She is afraid she would suffer from indigestion once she commits to eating it all off,” Michelle vaguely replied and waited for him to catch her implication. She was sure that he would understand Apple stood for an Alpha and him in particular, while referring to him as Tiger would point out that she was well aware of the level of relationship he had with Nessa.

“That’s it! I am calling the Pack Doctor, Michelle. You make no sense,” Vincent fretted, only for Alpha Ned to shake his head.

“It’s not necessary, Vince,” Ned explained then focused his attention on Michelle, “Michelle, my Nessa-code-speech is not as elaborate as yours. I am sure that Vince won’t breathe a word out to anyone. If Nessa had sworn you to secrecy, I will respect that. But you can always confide in me as your Alpha. We both care deeply for Nessa’s happiness. Should I be concerned about her?”

“Where did you come up with that?” Asked Vince completely forgetting his policy of not questioning the Alpha.

“Bumblebees, I wasn’t even sure you understood me.”

The Alpha smiled and then nodded to her to continue.

“I like you,” Michelle giggled. The growl of mate made her shift in her seat. “Not like that, Grumpy! You don’t see every day an Alpha who can admit he doesn’t understand a coded message. I see why Nessa likes it here.”

“Thank you,” Ned spoke.

“Don’t thank me yet,” Michelle replied and then continued, “Did she tell you about her wolf?”

“The basics,” Ned continued. “She can’t feel her.”

“For years. I think she just needs a little bit of encouragement,” MIchelle paused hoping he would read between the lines, “to coach her wolf out of the shadows. She hasn’t been the same after her rejection but she would never admit it to her Alpha or to her partner.”

“She did what?” Asked Vince sitting down next to Michelle. Now he lends his support! Stupid males! She focused Vince and gave him a long cold stare which Vince returned with a surprised one. “What? You just implied that she had sex with the Alpha!”

“What’s wrong with that? Nessa has a gorgeous body and awesome personality. Don’t you dare say she is not good enough for your Alpha,” Michelle defended Nessa.

“Our Alpha” corrected Vince.

“Whatever, he is hot and all….” Michelle started which earned her a warning growl from Vince. The Alpha only smirked. Michelle continued “Oh, please. Look at him. He’s obviously into Nessa as much as she is into him. Besides, I already have my hands full with you. Get some sense into that pretty head of yours. I am your mate but I am also not blind, nor liar.”

The Alpha cleared his throat, interrupting their bickering. Michelle noticed the amused expression on his face.

“Why did her Fated reject her?”

“Well, I could speculate, but the moron is not important,” Michelle continued. “The circumstances around her rejections are. Her fated claimed her then cheated and ended up binding a Chosen. That didn’t go over her wolf well. In time, she learned to hide her wolf’s absence well so she doesn’t have to go back and talk about her rejection. But it is important for you to know she can’t link. Which means with all due respect Alpha, get yourself a damn cell phone and text her. A lot. The sassier, the better. She’d love it,” Michelle recommended. “Your rogue policy is one of the most strict ones, and while I agree with it, please make sure your patrols are warned about her chocolate wolf. She used to shift every once in a while during full moon mostly… That was at least how often she did when she was writing Taken. That was years ago, though. Oh, you wouldn’t know about that either would you?”

“No,” Marcus carefully answered.

“Nessa is Raven Devenheart, the notorious werewolf novelist. Her book was a major success, not that those bastards didn’t rob her blind. Anyways, that’s a whole other story. I overheard that Pack Law is coming. You should be aware she got into trouble with Pack Law because of that book. Oh, well, not so much with Pack Law than with Alpha Brandon. You should read it. It’s an eye opener.”

“Wait, isn’t that the book that Cameron is obsessed with? Violet ends up with a Beta in the end as they have a steamy affair in a strip club?” Vincent asked nobody in particular.

“Of course, you’d notice that scene! Typical! Anyways, the raw emotions in the book are all drawn from personal experience. It will help you understand why Nessa is the way she is.”