The Curse Of Rejection
A Letter To Her Father

AYSU

Aysu could hear the lightness of his breaths, they were music to her ears. And they were enough for her to tell that she was gradually succumbing to their mate bond.

But she was not yet in a position to voice how she truly felt. Because every time she tried imagining being in a happy relationship with him, she recalled the pain he subjected her to on two different occasions. Her heart was yet to recover from those memories and the feelings within her were not enough to override that.

And that made her wonder if she was truly happy about having his baby in her womb. True, it was unexpected yet exhilarating. But recalling how the baby came to be, invited an event she didn’t wish to remember, so she was truly left to wonder if the fluttering in her heart and the imagination in her head were her true feelings.

“Aysu,” Ximun called and she stopped picturing how small her pup’s feet would be.

She tore her gaze from the sky and looked at him. “I am glad that you don’t hate this.”

“I can’t hate my baby,” Aysu replied.

“You hate its father.”

“I don’t… Hate is a strong word. I don’t like you, that’s true. But that doesn’t mean I hate you.”

His hair fell to the side and a small smile reached his eyes. “That makes me glad.”

Aysu stayed quiet and observed his facial features as though it was the first time she was seeing him. Then, she said, “I am just not comfortable around you.”

“It’s hard to believe you if you say that with a smile,” he responded, the greenness of his eyes dancing with joy.

“Smile?” Aysu crashed that mentioned expression immediately. “Yeah, right. Anyway,” her head nodded in his direction, “how come you are not putting on a shirt?”

“Oh.” He looked down at his chest which was tempting enough for her to touch.

“Do you naturally love to put yourself on display?” she asked, her lying position now very comfortable compared to when she first woke up.

“How else would I get the ladies to love me?” His humour was cute and it relaxed her to know that he could be cute and lovely. “I can get a shirt from one of the Healers. But, before that, we have to talk about your pregnancy.”

“What about it?”

He breathed hard. “Now that this is happening, I think we should crash the distance between us.”

“No.”

“No?” One of his brows was jerked. “Why?”

“I told you.” Aysu made sure to hide her hands beneath her blanket. “I am not very comfortable around you. Right now, you are a stranger whose baby I am carrying. So, if we’ll be shortening the distance between us, it has to be a process.”

“A process? Aysu, do you realise that the mate bond that’s trying to work between us won’t respect that process?”

He had a point. But she chose to stick with what she thought was the best option. “It’s the only way I can come around to the thought of trusting you.”

“Oh, I see.” He got up to her surprise.

“Why do you seem annoyed?”

“I am not.”

It did look like he wasn’t annoyed, but a part of Aysu’s mind was sceptical. So. she sat up and asked, “Do you think I am being unfair?”

Ximun looked elsewhere and clasped his hands behind him. “A part of me thinks so. But I know that your hesitation is entirely my fault, so I will respect whatever you decide to do.”

Aysu wasn’t sure why she hoped he would throw a tantrum. But she didn’t dwell on that so much. “I wish to contact my father,” she said.

“I will ask my men to get you a new phone.”

“Thank you.”

“Hmm.”

He had more to say, but despite her silent wish for him to say it, he didn’t utter a word. He just grabbed his chair, walked to the far end of the room, and sat still in silence, his exposed chest giving her a show that worsened the way she was feeling in the depths of her soul.

Later that night, when most wolves were roaming the streets, a uniquely designed phone was delivered to Aysu and since it was already configured, she didn’t stress with setting things up. All she did was input her father’s number into the dialpad. But when she called, an operator informed her that she would be unable to make the call.

That surprised Aysu who wondered if Alpha Ximun sent her the phone despite knowing that she would not be able to reach her father. But before she could intensify her mini-hatred for Ximun, she tried her father’s number again. It didn’t go through and she was left to wonder if Ximun was trying to play games with her.

If he was, she certainly wasn’t going to let him off easy.

“I can’t believe this,” Aysu breathed out while she inwardly urged herself not to toss the phone on the ground. She then looked up at the ceiling and scoffed. “How do I contact my father now?”

“Is there a problem?” a masculine voice asked from the entrance.

Aysu looked in that direction and saw that it was the Healer from earlier. “Hi.”

“Hello,” he cautiously stepped into the room. “I came to check on you. Is everything fine?”

“Well, it doesn’t feel like I’ll be fainting anytime soon,” Aysu responded, her ability to be slightly humorous surprising her. “But it feels like I’ll be kicking your Alpha King in the shin.”

“Oh my,” the man was hardly surprised, “what did he do?”

“He gave me a half-ass phone,” Aysu replied, her hand displaying the device in her hand carelessly. “If I can’t contact my father with this, what’s the point?”

“That doesn’t sound right.” He walked further towards her, his eyes somewhat relaxing to look at. “Can I take a look?” Aysu handed the phone to him and watched the man as he pressed a thing or two on the phone.

Then, she asked, “How long have you known Ximun?”

“About twenty years.” The annoying keypad noise the phone was making stopped and Aysu almost smiled in appreciation. “I knew him before he was crowned the Alpha King.”

“How is he as a person?”

“He is okay. He is the best friend anyone could have.” He looked up from the phone and locked eyes with her. “I am aware you two didn’t get off on a good note. So, it is understandable if you don’t presently like him. But, Ximun is the saddest he-wolf I know and while he can be an asshole from time to time, he truly deserves peace more than anyone in the Night Crimson Pack. Since you two roughly share the same fate, I could say the same for you. ”

“I see.”

He took out a similar phone from his pocket and while his fingers worked on the devices, he continued, “So, Miss Aysu, though it might not be my place to ask, please forgive him and give him a chance. I heard he is the best of lovers when you look beyond his outward grumpiness.”

“That’s a weird thing to hear from his friend, but you might be right.” Aysu didn’t wish to acknowledge that the humiliating moment Ximun subjected her to was actually enjoyable to some extent. “He could be my chance to experience what it means to be loved. But what do I do if I am unable to forget the things he did?”

“It is normal to remember such things. I think what matters the most is how you channel those emotions. If it is hard for you, speak to people around you. I think from there, you will be able to realise whether or not you want to dwell in those memories.”

Aysu sighed. “If only it was as simple as it sounds.”

“I am sure you will figure things out. But, for this phone, it won’t be able to call the person you want to reach.”

“What? Why?”

“The number is non-existent.”

“That’s wrong. It’s my father’s number and it always worked fine when I was at home.”

“I tried calling with my phone, but the number is non-existent.” The point-blankness tone of his voice was slightly brutal.

And Aysu was shocked. Very shocked. And she wondered if something was wrong somewhere. “Does this Pack screen phone calls from outside packs?”

“No. The Night Crimson Pack doesn’t have the best relationship with surrounding Packs, but we never limit access to those places.”

“So, what’s wrong?”

“Is it urgent?” She cocked her brows in question and he asked further, “What you wish to tell your father, is it urgent?”

“Yes. Now that I am pregnant, I will need someone I am familiar with by my side. Otherwise, I might go insane in this place.”

“Oh, getting someone familiar is definitely the best thing to do.” He dropped her new phone on the drawer next to her bed. “Does the idea of writing a letter sound good?”

“Wouldn’t that take some time to get delivered?”

“We have our messenger hawks.”

Her nose scrunched with curiosity. “People still use those?”

“Yes. Sometimes, old is gold. So, would you like me to draft a letter for you?”

Aysu appreciated his help and with a smile, she replied, “That would be nice. I really have to reach my father before I lose my mind.”

“Don’t worry, within two days, the letter will be delivered.”

“I just hope I get a reply that fast,” added Aysu who sat back, her mind going back to debating about Ximun and the growing mate bond between them