The Defiant
Chapter Thirty Seven

An hour after we’d returned to the ship, Four and I set the course for Sorhna.

As the ship shifted in its course, a palpable mood shift also settled on the crew. Three had gained her victory but didn’t seem to be too happy about it. Eight was even more moody and sullen than usual, often disappearing for hours. Five was usually gone during these times, although I never found out where they went. It was surprisingly easy to replace privacy aboard this ship.

Even Seven was acting strangely. When we spoke, she was perfectly polite and nice like always, but she always seemed to be in a hurry, rushing off after a short conversation. She had also developed a strange aversion to meeting my eyes.

Under normal circumstances I would have asked her what was wrong, but I found myself extremely lethargic, lolling about in bed for hours at a time, listening to blues music, which I wasn’t sure I even liked but at least reflected my mood. I could tell myself as much as I wanted that we were doing the best thing under the circumstances, but I couldn’t quite make myself believe it, despite my convictions that the other course of action was definitely wrong.

A day passed. Four had estimated that the journey from Byth to Sorhna would take six days. Five more days, and then what?

As hard as it was for me, I knew the crew would probably go their separate ways. Three might join a Sedha resistance movement. Five and Eight might go back to Earth.

Where would I go? I had no family, at least none I could remember. I had no home. No one. And the crew was now mad at me.

Everywhere in the universe was open to me, and I had nowhere to go.

I awoke to the sound of the comm buzzing on my bedside table. Yawning, I sat up and reached for it, wincing when my shoulder gave a sharp crack.

“Yeah?”

“Can you come to the armory? We need to talk.” The channel shut off before I could respond. That had been Five’s voice.

I sat up and stretched, grimacing when I put my bare feet on the cold metal floor. I dressed and tied my hair into a high ponytail before leaving my room and taking the lift, yawning profusely the whole way. Those nightmares were really taking a toll on me.

Five was indeed waiting outside the armory, up on Deck Two.

“What?” I asked, still a bit grumpy from being woken up.

“Not here. Inside, where we can’t be disturbed,” he hissed.

Weirded out, I unlocked the door and we went inside. He sat on the floor in the middle of the room, surrounded by all the guns, and I sat across from him, uncomfortable, remembering the week we’d been together, and being careful not to make contact.

“What’s with all the secrecy?”

“I want to persuade you to change your mind. Eight and I think we’re doing the wrong thing. Just hear me out,” he added hurriedly, seeing the look on my face, “The Aerzhu...Maybe they haven’t chosen the best method for getting their point across, but they’re trying to liberate a people. There’s only so far diplomacy can go in that sort of situation. Perhaps a bit of violence is necessary.”

“Have they even tried negotiating, or did they go straight to mass murder? Listen Five, I like you.” He raised a brow. “Well, I did before you cheated on me with my sister, anyway, but I’m not going to change my mind about this. They’re killing civilians. Maybe if they were just bombing government buildings—which still wouldn’t be okay, but then at least they would have a clear mission, a motive for all their destruction.

“From what I’ve heard, I’m beginning to think the Aerzhu don’t even care about helping the Sedha. If they were, they would have realized their methods weren’t helping and changed them. I think the Aerzhu is just a group of hurt people who have faced terrible things and want revenge on whomever they can reach. If they really cared about the Sedha, the populace wouldn’t be afraid of them. If a rescuer scares you, maybe they’re not really your rescuer. The Aerzhu bomb and fight their way through everything, even when it’s not necessary. We can’t help them gain more power.”

“Do you know what the Sorhnan government does to its people? The Sedha live in camps. They can’t leave or associate with whom they want. They get low-paying jobs, if they’re employed at all. It’s practically slavery. They can’t practice their religions, or customs, or even speak their own language. What the Sorhnan government is doing to them, and on their own home world… It makes me ashamed to be human.”

“Me too,” I said quietly. “And I’m not arguing with you that the government needs to be changed. It’s completely unfair, and needs to be abolished or at least have some startling reforms. But the Aerzhu are not the ones to do it. Do you really think they’d be any better, if they succeeded in changing the government? They would kill anyone who spoke out against them, silence the people even more. And don’t try to say that the Aerzhu wouldn’t take over if they succeeded in uprooting the government. That kind of power is hard to refuse, even with the best of intentions, which the Aerzhu certainly do not have. Please Five, don’t waste your time. You won’t change my mind. I’m sorry, it’s nothing personal, but what we’re doing is the right thing. Try to believe me, and try to help Eight believe me, too.” I stood up. “I think we’re done here.”

“Yes, I guess we are.” Five stood up too, his jaw set and eyes hard. I thought I saw one of his hands move, but I must have been mistaken. We left the armory.

Later that evening at dinner, the mood was even tenser than normal. And that was saying a lot.

Two and Seven chatted a bit, but soon fell silent under the oppressive cloud of seething acrimony and resentment that hung low over the table, threatening to choke us at any minute. I picked at my food unenthusiastically. Six’s cooking was just as good as always, but my stomach was roiling.

“Does anyone want water?” Two asked, standing up.

“I’ll get it.” Five rose to his feet and practically ran to the kitchen. I couldn’t blame him. The prospect of leaving the extremely awkward atmosphere of the galley had drifted through my mind all night.

Five returned with a platter holding eight metal cups of water. He distributed them to us carefully and sat down.

I took a long drink, just for something to do.

That’s all I remember.