The End of Innocence: Book 3 of the Kinstone series
Chapter 25: Old questions

Saturday came up just as fast as Tuesday previously had.

The thunderstorm which had rolled in lasted off and on for a couple of days, and as predicted, didn’t affect the promised sparring session. With the heavy rains, which had drenched the area, it caused the temperature to drop dramatically. So instead of it being a sweltering ninety-five degrees, it plummeted to an absolutely heavenly sixty-eight.

A cool breeze blew around the both Lyra and I as we danced around the field, wooden swords clanging off each other. One thing since moving here that never changed was my choice to train barefoot. To me it’s been a longstanding habit, which started when Silvi began training me in combat. The only time I wore shoes was if the weather turned really cold, and at the explicit wishes of my mother.

My feet swished through the rain-soaked grass, sending tiny chills up my legs, which I often ignored. The ground itself was soft and moist from the torrential downpours from the previous night, which ended up causing my feet to sink into the mud each time I stomped too hard into the ground. So a few times I’d replace my lower legs covered in mud.

It was a minor issue, which was solved by gathering up water with the grass and puddles, swirling them around my legs, washing them off. In hindsight, I should also be grateful that I wore a bodysuit, which was more like a bathing suit, and shorts. It was light and left little chance of getting bogged down by water.

We both loved our sessions together, garnering a bond stronger than master/servant, which I never really cared for the idea of her being my servant. Sparring with the maids, Silvi, and my mother all served to further strengthen my bonds with them. It was simply the fact of spending time with each other. The combat maids to me were dear friends whom I often turned to for advice if the need arose.

Now if there was one bond that existed outside of roles or sparring, it was that between Abigale and Fenris. The two of them had been sneaking off a lot more lately and everyone knew why and possibly what they were doing alone. Kikimora still can assume a wolf-like appearance after all, only with wings and eagle-like hind legs.

The two had seemingly fallen in love at some point in the last year and would only venture off alone when the time was right for the both of them. They still remained professional whenever they were in the same room as my mother. I have no qualms with sharing my bonded with anyone, so if the pair wants to be together, then all the more power to them.

I had been sitting in my room since I went for a short early morning run, which meant I ran for a couple miles and then walked back to the Manor, while planning out the day, a practice I had maintained. The plan was to meet up at Diana’s house around 10:00 and from there drive out to the mall. When I lived in the area, I tended to go around 9:00, which was the time the market opened. So this would be a little off for me.

My couch felt soft as I lay on it, staring out onto the Estate. The weather was set to return to being just as hot as it was at the start of the week, if not unbearably humid.

One saving grace was that the report called for medium overcast and wind. So it shouldn’t be all that bad, for a few hours at least.

My gaze then turned onto a stack of books which sat on my coffee table.

At the bottom is the final volume to Stellarus Overture. I finished reading the novel just yesterday and was brought to tears when I closed the cover for the final time. It was as if another piece from my old life had come to an end.

The main character, having long since struggled with her place in her new world, found love and had settled down to start a family, while also ridding the world of the evil which had plagued it. For whatever reason, I still believe that this series and Dragon Wings were written solely for me.

It did make me think about if I really wanted to pursue something with Kenji. I often fantasized about settling down with him, living in the village, possibly taking up a position at the shrine or acting in some capacity for the region. I even thought about hearing the sounds of little feet as children ran through the house. My face burned brightly at the thought of me being a mother.

Oh how Rachel would be thrilled in being a grandmother, not to mention the multitude of aunts and uncles the kids would have through the Coven. But…in the end it was just that, a fantasy. I still have to deal with this whole thing about being a princess and what to do with it. I let out a sigh, pushing those thoughts from my mind, and rose up on the couch.

As I did, I feel a prickle enter the back of my mind, more of a doubt or lingering notion of something. There, in the bottom of my heart, mind, or soul, take your pick; still lay the fact that a portion of me was still a man.

I’m a girl now through and through, even dealing with the ehhh…“normal” parts of being one. It had been a persistent issue of mine that had been brought to light when Jenn was over in December. I think whatever still was left down there was also holding me back from calling Rachel “Mother”. I might also still, in some way, be clinging to my old family, having never fully let go.

I meant what I said at the start of the year, I wasn’t “Clay” anymore, but the feeling of being him still persisted within me. He was me and I him, but I am the girl now, Aria. I had come to grips with that a long time ago.

But the ever the worrywart I am, it hovered over me like an annoying gnat. I hope that one day to get over this and move on with my life. I am Aria, and nothing is going to change that fact.

I look down at my necklace, watching as the crystal dangles from the leather band. I had long since replaced the silver band with the leather after it started chafe my neck. It still possessed the security enchantment which would prevent anyone from removing it from my neck.

I tap the crystal, knowing I still possess the ability to transform into him if I ever chose to. But that also plays into the whole issue I'm dealing with. Now, it’s not like I have two separate personalities or something, just the fact that it was there was the problem.

I shake my head once more, driving out those thoughts from my mind. I raise the crystal to my lips, thanking the spirits and even God himself for Rachel and for her sending this, and the life she has given me.

I rise from the couch, grabbing a hat and my backpack, loading it up with the essentials. This was also going to be the second time I would venturing back to my old home area, and I wasn’t nearly as nervous as I was a week ago. I hurried out the door, listening to Fenris as he hops off the bed to follow me.