The Falcon Ridge Series Book 1 She's Not For You
Chapter 19

(Chapter Song ‘Hold me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me' by U2)

MICHAEL

Come Sunday morning, I've had a chance to cool off.

Yeah, I went off the rails, but, like I said, I'm not going down without a fight.

I've believed Anna was mine for five years. Even during her mating with David. I've tasted her, breathed her in, seen her in my dreams, but she's always just out of reach. Like some wicked game with my heart. I'm not supposed to love her, but I can't help it.

I have to win her over.

I suppose it's time to have a real conversation without my anger getting in the way. I walk up to her door and knock.

A few moments later, she answers. Looking like a total angel in a white sweater and jeans.

She leans on her door and crosses her arms. "What are you doing here, Michael?"

I put my hand on the frame by her head. "I just want to talk, Ok?"

She pushes off the door and goes inside waving me in. I shut the door behind me.

We cross the living room into the kitchen when I start. "Anna, I screwed up. I get that. I'm sorry. I should've never done what I did."

She spins around, crosses her arm and glares at me. "Damn right, Michael."

I hate seeing her mad at me. It’s killing me I made her frown.

"Anna, please. I don't want to walk away from us. I want to try. Please, give me another shot." I step to her, begging for a second chance

"Michael, you're obsessed and downright scary. You've changed. I don't know how..." She looks me over and anger fills her face more.

I stop her. "I know. I know, Anna. I just didn't know how to process all this. I don't want to lose you again, Anna. Not until we've given it our best try. If it doesn't work, then fine. I'll walk away. No questions. No complaints. I just want this for real. No hookups. No drunk calls in the middle of the night. Just you and me. All in. Can we do that?"

"Michael, I can't." She looks to the floor

I plead with her. "Why, Anna? Why is it so hard to make us work?"

"You know why, Michael. I can't just toss my feelings aside for River. It wouldn't be fair to him or you." She dropped her arms to her side.

"Anna, please." I begged her.

"I've made my choice, Michael, and last night you made yours when you punched River. We are done, ok. Now, leave me alone." She headed to the door.

She had every right to hate me at this moment. Coming off like a jealous ex-boyfriend was definitely something I shouldn't have done. So, I accept my defeat and head for the door. I toss her a sad, pleading look. Hoping for a glimmer of change in her mind. There is none. She means to end it now and for now, I have to respect that.

"Good bye, Anna." I say soberly.

She doesn't look my way. "Bye, Michael."

With that, I leave out of her life for what feels like forever.

My heart shatters into a million pieces. Tears sting my eyes. It shouldn't hurt this much, but it does. Her breaking off what we had, is tearing my insides apart. My wolf is howling. Crying from the cage in my chest. I want to smash the world. I want to scream.

Instead, I walk my walk of shame to my car and drive home. Knowing that the best thing in my life has slipped through my fingers once again.

****

ANNA

I had to end it with Michael. The change in him, since he's expressed his true feelings, was not something I was expecting. I needed to end it before he got worse. He was a man possessed last night and that was something I don't ever want to see again.

After the fight, I did talk with River. He was understanding, but still apprehensive. Which is understandable. If we were to pursue whatever it was between us, Michael was a huge obstacle.

I needed to tell Michael it was over and I needed to do it now while I still had the chance.

I didn't miss the hurt in his face when I rejected him. He's my best friend and I just drove a big, flaming dagger into his heart. I had to. I had no choice. He would've gotten worse. I would've gotten worse. I wasn't lying when I said I couldn't toss my feelings for River aside and to start something with both of them is a giant mess. I had to make a choice. A final choice.

I choose River.

The only thing that concerns me now is the pain I’ve caused Michael. We share so much. I know I've lost him as a friend. That's what hurts me the most. I won't have him around to talk to anymore.

For right now, though, I can't think about that. I need to see River. Tell him, I choose him and that Michael and I are done.

****

After texting River, he told me to meet him at his pack house. It's huge. Beautiful. I've never been in a pack house before.

I've rode passed my packs pack house thousands of times. Rivers is way more impressive.

White and four storeys high. Carved wood on the walls and doors. There's a common room when you enter. A dining hall to the left. A games and training room to the right. Must be a hundred rooms in here.

I step into the foyer, in complete awe of the place.

River meets me at the door. "Hi." He smiles planting a kiss on my lips.

My eyes are still bugged out. "Hi. This place is amazing."

He shrugs. "It's home. Come on. You can meet my dad."

I stop. "Oh, I don't know if I'm ready..."

He leads me to a huge office with a huge window behind a huge oak desk. This alpha really likes his things big.

I see him sitting in a wood office chair. The resemblance to River is uncanny. The only difference is River's dad is, of course, bigger.

River stands up tall. "Dad. I'd like you to meet Anna Riker."

River's dad smiles. "Riker! I've heard so much about you." He walks from behind his desk and crosses the floor with his hand extended. "Great job on that Karver take down."

I shake his hand. "Alpha Blake. Thank you."

He fixes his suit. "Please. Call me Damian"

I smile.

He walks to his bar. "You've really got my sons attention, young lady." He laughs. "He hasn't stopped talking about you since the shadow project at the border."

I turn to River with a raised brow. "Really?" I say. River beams with pride.

"I must say," He takes a sip, "When River told me about your valuable skill set and how you'd be a great asset to the Security Unit, I was a little apprehensive. Given my sons...interest." He raises a brow. "But after talking with your Alpha and seeing your performance reviews, I know recruiting you was a good decision. I think River doesn't mind at all."

My jaw drops. My eyes go wide. I slowly turn to River. "It was you?"

He put his hands up in surrender. "Anna, I told you. You'd be great for the security unit. It could help you in so many ways. You just needed...a little push. So, I just had a little talk with my dad. No big deal."

"No big deal? No big deal?! River, I barely know you and you turn my entire life upside down without telling me! What gives you the right to go behind my back and mess with my life?!" I was angry at this flippant disrespect.

Alpha Blake just stood there blinking between the two of us.

"Anna. I was just trying to help. I knew you'd be good here. And look. Look how much you've improved already. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I wasn't trying to hurt you." He defends.

"I can't believe this!” I turn flopping my hands out to the sides. I turn back with a scowl, pointing a finger in his face. “I loved my job at border. I never wanted to be part of the unit.” I growl at him. “River, you knew that." I put my arms out again and whine.

He steps close and puts his hands on my arms. "Anna, I'm sorry. I felt if you tried it out, you'd see how wrong you were about the unit and how great you could be."

I back away, shaking my head. "No! I can't believe you. You know, I came here to tell you I was choosing you because my feelings for you are strong and you're better than Michael. But now I see you're no better than he is. I'm done with both of you." I turn and storm out of the office and head for the front door.

"Anna!" River called after me as he chased me down.

He caught up to me and grabbed my wrist. "Anna please. I didn't mean to hurt you."

I rip my hand away. "Yeah, well, Michael didn't either, but it seems the two of you just can't help yourselves." I turn, throw open the door and slam it behind me.

I hop on my bike and head for home.

****

RIVER

I stand at the door wondering what the fuck just happened.

I truly thought, with us at the security unit, and having me train her, she'd be fine with it.

I fucked up. Shit. I have to fix this.

I stand there just looking at the door, when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I glance over to my dad whose side eyeing me.

I hang my head and shake it. "Don't say it."

He squeezes my shoulder. "You messed up. Your heart was in the right place, but you weren't using your head."

I run my fingers through my hair. "I know."

He puts his hands in his pockets. "You don't know how many times I looked like you do right now with your mother."

I glance up at him and the corner of his mouth pushes up.

"Really?" I say.

"Oh, yeah." He raises his head. Scrunching his face. "We're Alphas. Means we have bigger hearts than brains." He winks.

"What do I do, dad? I really want to fix this."

"Don't ask me, Son." He leans to my ear. "Ask her." He pats my shoulder and walks away.

I look back at my dad and feel in my pocket...feel the keys. I put a hop in my step and run to the door.

I jump in my car and peel out in search of Anna.

I'm on the main highway when I see her. I floor it and drift up behind her, honking my horn.

She looks behind her then looks forward and hits the throttle, putting distance between us.

I tick my head and hit the gas. I close the gap. Honk the horn again.

Her signal flips on for the side of the road.

We both slow down and pull over.

Traffic whizzes by as I get out. Not even bothering to close my car door and she gets off her bike.

As I walk toward her, I see her very angry face. A loud thunder clap stops me in my tracks. Grey clouds float in.

"What do you want?!" She yells as I approach her.

"Anna. I'm sorry. Okay. Please." I plead.

Another loud clap and a few drops of rain hit my car.

"No! River! You don't get to play with my life! You had no right!" She grinds.

I step closer with my hands up, begging her to calm down. "I know, baby. Please. I didn't mean it.

Lightning flashed and the clouds opened up over us.

"Baby girl, let me fix this. Tell me how to fix this." I drew closer to her. I'm getting soaked and I didn't care. "Anna..."

Through the rain I can sense tears. "Do even realize what you've done? What you've changed? What you've caused?" She throws a hand on her hip and looks around. Wiping rain water off her face and holding her head.

I close the gap. She's looking like a goddess all soaked with her hair wetted to her head. "I know. I'm sorry. I really was only trying to help..." I pause, scrub the water off my face. I glance at the drops pounding on the asphalt. "No. That's a lie." I put my hands on my hips. "I did it because I wanted to be with you. I know you said no commitments, but I couldn’t settle for that. I thought there’s only one person who can make Anna be her best. I felt if you only saw what I do. Shared it with me. You'd be happy and want to be with me. All I wanted to do was make you happy. I know it was selfish and I'm a complete asshole. I don't blame you for hating me. I would too. I just...I don't know. Anna, when I'm with you. It's like my brain checks out. Goes on shore leave and my heart takes over. My emotions are all over the place. I can't control it. I can't think when I'm around you. This force between us is so strong. I can't fight it."

I took a breath after my little speech trying to read her face in the pouring sheets of rain.

"Are you done?" She blinks the rain out of her eyes.

I nod and hang my head.

She comes close and lifts my head. She gives me a half smile. "You're not an asshole."

My mouth ticks up into a quick smile.

"Is that your only secret? No other tricks up your sleeve?" She folds her arms and raises a brow.

I look at my soaked t shirt. "I don't even have sleeves."

She giggles.

I reach up and move a strand of wet hair sticking to her cheek. "I'm so sorry, baby girl. I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you let me."

She nods.

I pull her into a hug. Putting her head on my chest and resting my head on hers.

We just stood there. The traffic whizzed bay as we hugged on the side of the highway getting soaked by the rain.

The next thing I know, I hear my car radio.

I laugh because I catch ‘Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now’ by Starship.

I lift her head and look into her gorgeous, bright eyes. “Nothings gonna stop us, baby girl. I promise.” I lean in and give her a deep, soft, apologetic kiss.