The Falcon Ridge Series Book 1 She's Not For You
Chapter 8

(Chapter song ‘Love Song' by Sky)

MICHAEL

I look up into the star covered sky. The moon is a little less bright. It looks bigger tonight. The wind is a little nippy too.

I pant and search the area where the two towns meet. I adjust my night vision and see a tiny ball in the grass. Not a usual sight. My wolf whines. Yeah, buddy, I agree. I start to trot through the long, damp grass to her.

Something's wrong.

Once I'm close enough, I can scent her. She always smells so beautiful. I also smell something else that hurts my chest.

She's shifted. Her naked frame sitting in the grass. Her knee's pulled up and her hair hung down in her face as she leaned an arm on it.

My wolf lets out another tiny whine and licks his lips as the wind blows and I shift. He senses the same thing I do. I walk slowly over to the border. I can’t cross it without breaking a dozen rules, but I can sit and talk.

I sit down. "Anna?"

She tosses a glance through her damp hair. "Hey." She goes back to playing with the blade of grass in her fingers.

Her voice is quiet. Way too quiet for Anna Riker. I’ve heard that voice before. This isn’t good.

With the invisible border between us, I try to see her face. "Anna. Is everything ok?" My brows stitch together as I scent her tears. Something really bad happened.

She blows out a breath. "Yeah. I'm good." Her voice cracks a bit as she continues to play with grass.

I grow concerned. "Why are you just sitting here?" I say quietly. I try to replace her face.

She tosses the blade of grass. "Thinking. Taking a break. I don't know."

I shuffle closer to the border. "Anna. What happened?"

She shakes her head and rips up another blade of grass. I hear a tiny hitch as she breathes in. She’s trying to suppress something that hurt her. She does this when she’s vulnerable. Tries to close off, but I see right through it.

"Anna. I've known you long enough to know somethings wrong. Tell me." I push.

"We got Karver." She mumbles.

I perk up. "That's great! Finally, we can make that bastard pay. Was anyone hurt?"

"Just a soldier." She glanced really quick. "I shot him."

My brow furrowed. "What?"

"I couldn't fail this time, Michael. I couldn't..." She picked another blade as her words faded off.

“What? What do you mean?” I ask.

“Why did I have to relive that again…” She hung her head, slightly shaking. “What kind of cruel fucking...” She hitched.

My eyes widen and my face falls. "David." I whisper.

A sniff came from behind her hair. “It was the same thing, Michael. Only this time I pulled the trigger not Karver. I needed to end him." She tucked her hair behind her ear and I saw the glisten of tears roll down her cheeks.

My wolf howls in his cage as he feels her pain. I lean on my knees. "Is the soldier ok?"

"He'll live." She raises her head to the stars. "Fuck. I miss him." Her face was filled with grief. She lowers her head and wipes her cheeks.

I hung my head. "I do too. Every damn day. I think that's one of the reasons I get so concerned about you. Like, I made some internal vow to protect my buddy's girl."

She turned and swallowed. "Look, Michael about the other night..."

I shake my head. "No. Anna. I know. It's just me being dumb. You can't replace David; I know. It's selfish of me to even think that wil happen. Just...forget I even mentioned it, ok?" My eyes flick to hers and lock. I don’t think she can see my lie, but maybe it’s not a bad thing if she can.

"It's not that." She wipes her cheeks again. "I can't allow myself to go there. Feelings, emotions. They hurt too much. I can't allow myself to have what David was to me."

I scoot even closer to the border. "Anna. What if these feelings, these emotions, repair what's broken? Allow you to be happy? This life you made. Going through the motions. Destroying yourself. I know, it's not something David would've wanted for you." I want to hold her in my arms so bad. I know David would be flipping the fuck out right now that Anna has even one tear in her eye.

She starts crying. "I can't, Michael. I just can't. I got him killed. I did. Then I got hundreds more killed after. As far as I'm concerned, my life?...This is my punishment. I don’t deserve to love again. I don’t deserve happiness."

I furrowed my brow. This pissed me off. "You think David wouldn't have done the same? If the roles were reversed? Anna, I know, there would have been no way he'd pull that trigger. He loved you too much, Anna. David was my best friend. I knew him better than he knew himself. He doesn't blame you, Anna. And he'd be right pissed off if he saw you right now. So am I"

She let out a little laugh and a sniff. "Yeah, he would.” She sniffs back her sadness and bites her lower lip. “Its just…if I had just listened to him. If I had just pulled that trigger. He and hundreds more would be alive today."

"Anna, come here." I wave her over to me. Invisible border, be damned, she needs me.

She scoots over to me the border just between our knees. I grab her hand and move her hair out of her face.

I speak to her softly. Looking directly into her eyes. "What happened back then...You can't take it back. You can beat yourself fucking black and blue. It won't change anything..." I cup her cheek in my hand stroking it with my thumb. "But, last night, you made it right. You paid for your sins. You did right by David. You got Karver and put him down. Everyone has forgiven and moved on. It's time you did too."

She closes her eyes and leans into my hand as a single tear fell. I wiped it away with my thumb. Her skin is so soft. Someone so amazing shouldn’t have this much pain in her. It’s not fair.

"I know it's hard, Anna. But, I'm here. I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you. I'll never stop helping you, or...caring about you." I avert my eyes then go back to hers again. I chew the inside of lower lip, waiting to see if she responds to that.

I was expecting a fight. A fist to the face with a barrage of curse words, but instead her eyes changed. Her vulnerability tonight is a giant breakthrough. I can't even remember if we've ever discussed David openly. The wound has never closed for her. I know she still mourns him hard. So, I never mentioned it, even though I know it’s the source of both our problems.

I lean to her. "David wants you to be happy, Anna. He wants you to replace a life that makes you happy. Find someone who cares and loves you as much as he did. He doesn't want to see you do this to yourself. Please, let me help you." I search her eyes and lean even closer. “Please.” I whisper.

Then I did something I've wanted to do for a long time. I broke the rules. I gave in. I gave into my heart. My feelings. I’m no longer in this for casual sex. I can’t. Not when she needs me so much. I’m the only one who gets her. I’m the only one who can help her through this.

I slip my hand behind her head and pull her to me, pressing my lips softly to hers. She parted her full lips for me and my tongue met hers.

I’ve kissed her hundreds of times, but this time, I'm pouring everything into it. All my feelings. It was passionate, caring, sensual. I put my other hand on her head and pull her to me. I wrap my arms around her, settle her into my lap, not daring to breaking the kiss. I gave her everything. I kissed her like I meant it. I ran my hands softly up and down her back and up the nape of her neck.

She had one hand in my hair and her other wrapped around under my arm. She presses herself further on to me.

I pull back, softly biting her lip. "I want you, Anna. All of you." I kiss her again.

I’m completely aroused by this moment. I’m flooded with fullness. I feel more complete and being able to show Anna how much I care about her is heating every inch of my body. I run a hand up into her hair and hold her head as I position my hard cock at her entrance. Then I push her hip down as I enter her.

She moans into my mouth as she moves her hips up and down. Her thighs flex as she slides on my length. It's slow, full of lust and desire. Nothing like our regular hook ups. This is something more. It's intimate.

I press her little harder and faster. I break the kiss and move to her neck. "God, Anna...you feel so good." I nip her neck as I move my hips into hers.

Her head rolls back and I hold her. "Michael..." She moans. “Yes…”

I feel her body quiver and her pussy start to tighten.

I thrust harder and move her hips "Anna, ...Fuck....” I clench as I watch her perfect breast bounce with the movement of her body.

I wrap my arms around the back of her shoulders as I kiss her luscious lips. I fist her hair and pull her head back. I moan on her neck at the feel of her climax build.

I feel her walls gripping me tighter, her wetness dripping down my balls. I go deep and hard as her orgasm tears through. Her walls squeeze my cock. I go faster and let her lean back. Rising to my knees, she screams out as I pump my shaft deeper.

When her screams turn to moans, I let her fall into my chest, her hair falling all around me. I hold her tight as I grunt out each thrust. "Yes, Anna. I fucking love how you feel…” I pant.

I grab her ass cheek and thrust into her more. I push my own climax over the edge. "Fuck, Anna....I'm coming too...." I hold her tight as I pump my release into her. Her screams are completely in tune with my growls. Her body responds so well to mine, I can barely take it.

After a few more quick thrusts, I slow down and stop. She lifts her head and I move her hair out of her face. Her skin sparkles in the moonlight with tiny beads of sweat that coat it.

I gently give her a kiss and pull her head into my shoulder.

I kiss her hair and hold my head to hers. I let out a shaky breath as I stroke the back of her head. "I love you, Anna. I will always love you." I whisper.

She pulls back and looks at me. “What?” Her eyes search mine and they seem to change.

My mouth goes small and my brows cinch up. “I love you.” I repeat. “It’s what I wanted to tell you the other night. I can’t do this without, Anna. I need you.”

Her eyes well and she slowly shakes her head. “No.” She chokes.

She pushes off me.

“Anna…”

“No, Michael! How dare you say that to me!” She starts to cry. I can see pain fill her face. I’m sure David is running through her head.

I have no doubts hearing those three little words carry a hurt she can’t deal with, but I can’t keep this bottled up either.

“It’s the truth, Anna! I don’t want to be just a hook up to you. I want to be with you.” I plead.

“I can’t, Michael! I just can’t!” She holds her forehead and paces with a hand on her hip.

I close the gap and grab her arms. I lean to her. “Anna, don’t tell me you didn’t feel what I did just now. You felt it.”

“I…” She stops.

I lean even closer. “You did.” I stare into her eyes.

She folds her arms and looks down. “I need to think about this.”

“Look. I’m sorry to freak you out, but I couldn’t hold it in anymore. Anna. You’re everything to me. Please. I’m just asking for a chance.” I’m practically begging at this point.

She bites her upper lip, looks out to the clearing and replaces my eyes. “I need time.”

I press my lips together and nod.

She turns, shifts and runs into the trees.

I place my hands on my hips and hang my head.

This is where I destroy everything.