The Falcon Ridge Series Book 2 Not Just A Girl
Chapter 29

(Chapter song ‘All Out Of Love’ by Air Supply)

SARAH

I don't know what to feel anymore. I'm so broken. The love of my life is gone and by the time I replace out how he really feels, he drives out of my life forever. What am I supposed to do now?

I lay on my bed, sobbing with my head buried in my pillow. My head is such a mess, I didn't hear Ash and Shane come in.

"Sarah?" Shane whispers.

“Go away.” I cry into the pillow.

"Oh, girl." Ash walked over and tugged me up into her arms.

"I can't do this, Ash." I cry into her shoulder as she holds my head.

She gently rocks me and Shane sits on the other side of me, rubbing my back. "You'll get through this, sis. We'll help you."

I let go of Ash and I play with my pants as I scrub a hand across my eyes. "It hurts so bad." I sob.

He rubs my back some more. "I know. It will for a while. But, Sarah, Jay wants you to be strong now, ok? Our pack needs us. Listen..." He pushes me back. "I know the last thing you want is more bad news, but I just got off the phone with mom and dad. They're moving everyone out. The place is a ghost town."

I run my fingers through my hair. My hearts stops and I crave Jayson more. "Where did they go?" I choke.

He looks into my eyes and cleans off my flushed cheeks. "I don't know. They aren't telling anyone so the rogues don't replace them. Mom and dad want us to stay here. They don’t want us coming back, Sarah. Black Lake is officially dead."

"No.” My heat even more as my already broken heart is grinded to dust. “I'm all alone now." I cover my eyes and cry harder when I realize my dream was coming true. Jayson, mom, dad, Maddie, my friends...all gone.

Shane pulls me into him. "Hey, I'm still here. Together Forever, remember? Ash is here, too. You're not alone."

"You'll leave me too!" I grip at his shirt as I start to really lose it.

He pushes me back and stares into my tear filled eyes. "Never! You hear me? I'd never leave you, Sarah. I'd burn this place down before I let them separate us."

"Me, too." Ash grabs my hand, squeezes it and nods to Shane.

"Hey, is everything alright in here?" Kale pops his head in the door. “I was just walking by.”

I sniff and wipe my nose. "No." I squeak.

He walks in and squats in front of me. "Would smacking me around a bit make you feel a tiny bit better?" He flashes his classic smile.

I can't help but choke out a little chuckle. Leave it to Kale to make you laugh when you're trying to be miserable.

He looks to Shane and Ash. "Alpha Riker is making an introduction. All recruits are needed on the field." He turns to me. "You included."

"Can't I sit this one out?" I play with a tissue Ash handed me.

He grabs my hand and lifts me to a stand. "Sorry, champ. The Unit doesn't wait for broken hearts to mend. Right now, you have work do to. Maybe, it'll get your mind off it for a while."

"Doubt it." I grumble

"Oh, come on." He wraps his arm around me and gives me a little shake. "I promised Jay I'd look after you and that includes making sure you keep up with your training. Come on, Georgia's waiting and you know how she gets." I laugh as he leads me out the door. Shane and Ash follow behind.

Kale holds the door and we exit toward the practice field.

All the other recruits were seated on the grass with the Alphas standing beside Alpha Riker. Live and in living color. If I wasn’t so depressed, I’d be fan-girling bad. Now, she’s the person who’s replacing Jayson. In my mischievous brain, she’s public enemy number one.

"That’s the last of them, Alpha!" Kale yells.

I sat next to Georgia who gave me a hug. "So sorry, girl."

"Thanks." I whisper.

I look to the Alpha who killed the most ruthless Alpha on the planet. She's strong, tough. She's wearing a leather jacket and jeans. She has the coolest brown blonde hair ever and she's easily the most beautiful Luna I've ever seen. She’s also sporting a smug look that tells me we won’t be getting along at all.

She steps in front of the group. "Good morning. For those who don't know me, I'm Alpha Riker. For foreseeable future, I'll be your new Head Alpha."

The crowd mumbles.

She eyes us all. "Now, I haven't been brought fully up to speed since Alpha Duke was gone before I arrived, but I have managed to read some of the performance reports. I must say. I'm impressed."

She paces across the front row as she sude eyes us. "I look forward to training you and meeting you all. My door is always open to whoever needs it. I'm a very fair and reasonable woman and I hope that we will get along. That being said..."

She stops and scans the group. "I know Duke was training you for a private fight to save Black Lake. We will no longer be doing that. You will resume regular first year studies and fighting skills. If any of you have a problem with this, come see me in my office after practice."

She paces some more. "Ok. Everyone, break off into your groups and run the circuits for 20 sets."

We all groan and stand. There is a feeling of angst rolling off the crowd. Jayson may have been a hardass, but he was our hardass. Most of us had grown to love him. We were proud to have him as a leader and a friend. We were going to lay our lives on the line for him and now, he's gone. He didn't even say goodbye. To say that most of us are upset, is an understatement.

It's not that we won't give Riker a fair shot, but we won't be trusting her for a long while. We'll have to break her like we did Jayson.

While running the circuits with Sam and Shane, I'm not really trying at all. My hearts not in it. I'd rather crawl up into a ball and pretty much die right now. If I didn't agree to fulfill Kale's promise, I would've walked off this field after Riker's speech.

My boyfriend's gone forever. My family and friends have disappeared into the wind. What the fuck do I care about circuits?

I was barely completing my second set, when I got a tap on the shoulder. I turn to the face of Riker herself.

She gives a little wave. "Hi. Um... What's your name?"

"Sarah." I mumble.

"Hi. Sarah. I'm Anna Riker." She smiles and places her hands on her hips.

I turn back to the exercise I was doing. "I know who you are." My tone is depressed and bothersome.

She crosses her arms. "Oh. Good. So, how are you liking your first year here?"

I stand back up and turn my head. I give a short quick smirk to her. "It sucks."

Sam comes to the top of his sit up and hits my leg. "Sarah." He hisses.

Anna looks over to him. "No. No. It's alright." She leans back to me. "What sucks about it?"

I narrow my eyes. "You."

Now it was Shane's turn. "Sarah!"

Throws up a hand to the boys behind me. "It's fine, really."

She steps closer to me. "You don't like that I replaced your Alpha."

"No. I don't." I fold my arms.

Anna mirrors my image and arches a brow. "Well, Sarah. That's unfortunate because I really would like to be your friend while I'm here. But, if this is the attitude you'd like to take with me, well, I can be your worst enemy."

Several recruits around us stop their exercises and just blink at the exchange. They’re probably waiting for Riker to explode. In my head, I’m telling her to bring it.

"Jayson thought the same thing. Turns out, I'm a sucker for punishment." I smirk at her.

She nods. "We'll see about that." She narrows her eyes at me. "Get back to work."

I drop to my but to complete my sit ups and Shane grabs my arm. "Are you insane?"

I brush his arm off. "No. I just don't give a shit."

Shane and Sam start to protest, but I block out both boys as I get lost in my heart break again.

I no longer care what happens to me. She can dish out punishments all day long forever. Nothing will ever hurt me more than the shattered remnants of my soul. Nothing could cut me deeper than the shards of my broken heart.

Lunch came, I don't even eat. Instead, I sit in the trees where Jayson said goodbye to me. Where he told me I'd never see him again. I played it over and over in my brain as I cried to the quiet forest. I pull out my phone and dial my mom only to get the message. "This number is no longer in service." My life as I knew it was over.

I looked at my contact list. I pull up Jayson's texts. I've sent him fifty since he left and he hasn't responded once.

I pull my knees to my chest, wrap my arms around them and bury my head.

I just want to hear him say I love you one more time. I just want to feel him for a minute. Even just a flash of sight. Just something more than what I have right now. Nothing.

I don't know how long I sat there feeling the breeze try to carry my pain away, but suddenly, I felt two strong arms wrap around me and hold me. I thought my wish came true and my head popped up.

My chest tightened again when I realized it was Kale. I look into his eyes and tears fell like rain. I wrap my arms around him and held him tight.

Somewhere inside, it made me feel better to have his thick arms around me. It felt like I was almost hugging Jayson again.

He holds me tighter and pets my hair. "Shhh... it's ok. It's ok. What are you doing in here?"

Choking on my breath, I push back from him. "This is... Wh-where... he told me..." I could barely get the words out.

He holds my cheeks as my chin quivers. “God, Sarah.” He pulls me into his chest. “I’m so fucking sorry, champ.”

He pushes me back again. He stares into my eyes. “Sarah, just take some deep, calm breaths, ok?”

I give a little nod yes and start to take shaky breaths in and out in an attempt to calm down.

He gives me a little half smile. “Good. That’s it. Nice and smooth.” He sits in front of me and crosses his legs. “I was looking for you. I have someone who wants to talk to you."

I wipe my tears as best as I can. Kale hands me his phone. The screen says unknown number. "Hello..." I squeak.

"Hi, sweetheart. Oh god, it's so good to hear your voice."

"Mom?" I whine as my lip trembles.

Kale grabs my hand and motions me to stay calm. I’m trying, but hearing my mom is making that hard.

She laughs, but I could tell she's crying, too. "Yeah, baby. I miss you."

"Mom, where are you?" I fight to get the words out.

Silence on the other end.

"Mama?" I sniff as my breath hitches.

"Baby. I can't tell you, but know we’re all safe. Daddy, Maddie. We're safe, ok?"

"I want to come home." I huff out a sob.

Kale holds my cheek and tries to be my rock. I appreciate the hell out of that.

I hear her sob on the other end. "I know, baby. But you have to stay there, Ok? You have to be a strong girl like I know you are. We'll see each other soon."

"Mama." I say quietly.

"Yeah, baby."

I swallow hard. "Jayson's gone...forever..."

"Wait. What? What do you mean, forever? Sarah... What does that mean?" I started to cry again and dropped the phone in my lap.

“Sarah? What does that mean?”

Not being able to talk, Kale took the phone from me. "Hello?"

"Kale? What does she mean? Is Jayson dead?" My mother was frantic. Her voice was loud enough that I could hear it clearly.

Kale shook his head. "No, he's not dead. At least, I hope not. He was reassigned to the mission unit. He's not coming back. He could be overseas, for all we know. We're not allowed to know."

"Oh God. Kale this isn't good."

"I know." He mumbles

"We need our Alpha, Kale. What are we going to do?"

He looks at me with concern and wipes my cheek off. "I don't know. The only thing I do know is, I have one seriously, heartbroken little girl on my hands and I'm at a loss on how to fix it."

"Put her on." My hearing picked up a male voice this time. My heart stutters because it almost sounded like Jayson.

Kale hands me the phone.

My shaking hand puts it to my ear. "Daddy?"

"Hey, baby girl. I hear you're a little sad."

My dad always had a knack for taking my pain away, but I don’t think he can fix this.

"I'm all alone, Dad. I want to come home." I beg.

"Baby, I know it hurts. It hurt so bad; you can barely stand it. I know. But, see that young man with you? He's going to make sure you don't hurt anymore. Him, your brother, your friends at the camp. They're all going to make sure you don't feel the pain anymore. Let them help you. For me, ok? Baby girl, you know I don't like seeing you cry. I don't want you crying when I wrap my arms around you next. You understand?"

"Yes." I say softly.

"Ok. You dry them tears. I love you, baby girl."

"I love you, dad."

"Ok, baby. We have to go. I don't know when we can steal another chance to talk, but I will try. Ok? Bye, baby."

"Bye, daddy." He hangs up and I slowly drop the phone away from my ear. Kale takes it and puts it in his pocket. He grabs my hands and just holds them.

We sat in silence for what felt like a minute.

He breaks the silence and clears his throat. "Shane's kind of going out of his mind looking for you. You think we should go replace him?” He motions his head to the camp.

I scrub a hand down my face and fix my ponytail. I sniff and give a quick nod.

He stood up and offered me a hand. I take it and he pulls me to my feet.

He wraps an arm around my shoulders. "Champ, your dad wasn't lying. Anything you need, just replace me. Anything at any time. I'm so here for you, it's not even funny. Georgia, too."

I smile and wrap my arm around his waist as we walk. “Thanks, Kale.”

I may feel all alone, but I’m so glad to have people around me that care. It’s just that Jayson filled a big hole in my heart and now it’s empty.

He lays his head on mine. "No problem, sweetie."

We walk across the empty training field to the dorms front door. He holds the door open and leads me to the dining hall to replace Shane.

I don’t know how I’m ever going to survive this, but if I’m ever going to see my mom and dad again, I have to push past this pain.

Maybe if I hold onto some hope that Jayson will come back into my life someday, it’ll make some of this feel better.

A tiny sliver of hope.

Hope for Jayson, my family and my home.