The Forgotten Planet
Chapter 16 – Blue-Furred Cat Fight

I stepped out of the elevator just as Max passed by with her rented labor-bot and our I’ll-gotten gains. I’d been able to hack the elevator system and avoid stopping at all the levels between the docking bay and the junk dealers in the basement level.

Max saw me and smiled. “I’m glad to see they didn’t rough you up.”

I fell in next to her and said, “I’m glad myself. Poochy actually started growling at them when they pulled me out of line.”

“Did he now?” Maxine answered, eyebrows raised.

“I was surprised too,” I added. “That fact and a couple c-notes kept my dental work attacked to my skull. Plus, they left the authorities out of it and I got to keep the coffee pot.”

“That’ll make Russell’s day,” she replied. “The coffee machine, not your teeth.”

We passed a number of starships in various states of repair and maintenance. All of the workers were either Terran or Cindar. We were the two most recent forcible additions to the empire, so I guess that made sense. Both species were at the bottom of the pecking order.

The newest vessels were sleek as blades, with hulls that looked like liquid mercury. Then I saw our ship, and my stomach roiled.

“Oh, I knew exactly what you meant. Speaking of Russell,” I glanced over the hull. “Where is large and grouchy? And Adan, for that matter?”

Max shrugged, and even that small movement looked graceful on her. “I guess they’re done with the external repairs,” she answered.

I figured it was certainly possible. There were no longer gaping holes in the hull. Either the supply of deck plating in the hold stretched farther than I thought it would, or they stumbled upon a vat of spray-on graphene filler.

“That’s good,” I replied. “I want to be out of here before anyone notices that we robbed the station blind.”

She smiled slyly. “Don’t you just love the Shuffle? You let them think they see the scam and you hit ’em from the blind side.”

We stepped onto the deck ramp, and the ancient mechanisms groaned under our weight. Not a wonderful sigh, but probably the least of our concerns at this point.

“I know,” I replied. “It’s a classic, though it seemed to work better with you than it ever did with Adan.”

Another shrug. “I just have certain physical advantages that your brother doesn’t,” she replied. “Well, at least none that those men would appreciate.” She pointed to a bare spot in the hold and said, “Drop it all right there, Sparky.”

The cargo hold was an open rectangle, with a few workstations and a mostly bare shelving unit. The walls were a grey-white and completely unadorned, save for a calendar with women posed in uncomfortable positions on fancy ground vehicles. A roughly cut panel on the wall still glowed burnt orange from the seams of the recently welded plating. Our luggage had apparently arrived while we were gone, and I stepped over to Betty’s storage box and gave it a little pat. Adan must have set up the little nest of insulation foam in the corner, and Poochy somehow recognized it was for him. He made a few revolutions in it before plopping down in the middle and closing his eyes.

The labor-bot parked the platform and began to unload it piece by piece. Once the crate of fuel rods and the deck plating were removed from the platform, I powered off the ’Wrapper® and directed the bot to stack the technical equipment on the shelving unit. When the platform was empty and Max signed for the bill, the bot took the empty platform and headed back down the loading ramp.

“I’m going to check on the boys,” Maxine called to me as she disappeared down the hallway.

Maxine wasn’t gone a minute when I heard her call out, “What the hell?” and then a metallic crash and she yelled, “Galen, get your skinny ass in here!” I sprinted down the hall before my brain had time to think about what I might be running into. I rounded the corner into a common area, and events started moving in slow motion.

First, I saw the Servine biker girl drop into a squat as a wheel kick from Maxine went whizzing over her head. Our eyes met for a moment, and I swear she smiled and winked at me. At the same moment, Jules and the lone piano crashed inside my ears.

’When I said, “I can see me in your eyes,”

you said, “I can see you in my bed,”’

I cursed and just about lost my balance from sensory overload, and at the same time, my HUD flashed the paradoxical information that both my adrenaline and oxytocin hormone levels were spiking. The stress hormone made sense – the other, well, I chose to ignore that for the time being. Maxine followed through with a swinging back-knuckle, but the Servine bounced out of range.

As my ’Seven cleared the excess adrenaline, my tunnel vision began to clear and I saw the room clearly for the first time. We were in the ship’s living area, and Maxine and the blue-furred woman were fighting in between the couches and chairs that sprouted like black vinyl mushrooms out of the ship’s floor. It took me a few more seconds to notice Russell and Adan bound in duct tape and sitting side-by-side on the only loveseat.

’That’s not just friendship that’s romance too,

you like music we can dance to...’

Russell was doing his best to wiggle free of his bounds that held his hands behind his back and his ankles together, while Adan sat ramrod straight, staring wholeheartedly at the girl-on-girl fisticuffs. A toolbox and various hand-held tools lay scattered on the floor – probably the crash I heard earlier – and the combatants were sending the various items skittering across the floor as the fight continued.

Maxine was a tornado of kicks and punches, but the agile Servine woman parried or dodged each strike like they were moving at her in slow motion. And while Max was already panting, the blue woman was barely breathing. Maxine gasped as a well-timed kick caught her in the abdomen and knocked the wind out of her. I moved in to help her until it dawned on me that I was unarmed and didn’t know how to fight, and would probably just get in the way.

’Sit me down,

shut me up,’

I backed away as Maxine redoubled her efforts and they whirled past, and somehow, while dodging a kick and two punches the blue woman was able to smack me hard – but not too hard – square on my butt. I was pretty sure in was intentional, but by the time I turned around she was in the middle of some sort of backwards handspring. I hustled over to the loveseat and ripped the tape from Adan’s mouth.

“Damnit, bro!” Adan yelled.

“Fast is better than slow,” I said.

“Yeah, that’s what she said,” Adan quipped. I didn’t bother replying. He nodded down at the utility knife on his belt and said, “Cut the tape off my wrists, broheim.” Then he lowered his voice and said, “But take your time. This fight’s incredible.”

Mouth open and breathing heavy, Maxine went low for a takedown, and the girl jumped straight up and came down like a belly flop on Max’s back, flattening her to the ground.

Then she looked at me with a lopsided grin and said, “Well, hey there Tiger.”

’I’ll calm down,

and I’ll get along with you...’

I sat down on the arm on the loveseat and felt my mouth slowly drop open. Her eyes were chips of jade swimming in a sea of blue. She was roughly my height with a tapered waist, narrow shoulders, and a subtle hint of mammalian curves underneath the black leather jumpsuit. The black markings in her fur around her eyes and across her cheeks accentuated her large eyes and fine cheekbones. The Servine people resemble human felines in some ways – their coats, eyes, and ears for example. But their noses, mouths and chins are closer to delicate-featured Terran than they are to terrestrial cat breeds. I realized belatedly that I was smiling.

“Galen!” Maxine yelled. Her head was sticking out from under the Servine’s midsection. My dreamy eyes shot wide, and the music died mid-tune.

“You’re doing great honey,” Adan said supportively. I nodded, doubling the sentiment.

“Help me you idiots!” Maxine screamed.

“Oh, right,” I said. I pulled the knife from Adan’s belt and flicked it open. In moments the tape binding my brother was in ribbons, and once free he launched himself headlong off the couch.

It looked like he was going to tackle the thief right off his girl, and I’m sure in most circumstances it would have worked. Unfortunately for him, Servine reflexes seemed to outclass juiced Terran nerve conduction, because one moment she was there and the next she just wasn’t. Adan went down in a heap on top of Max, and a split-second later she landed with a joyful whoop on the top of the pile.

After a loud grunt, Aedan asked, “How the hell did that happen?”

The blue woman actually giggled before answering, “No offense sugar, but you’re kinda clumsy.” Her voice a little high, and the tone sweet like candy. She began to snake her arms around Adan’s neck, and my brother shrugged his shoulders and tucked his chin, making it impossible for her thin arms to close the choke. She pulled one arm away and smacked him in the side of the head with an open palm.

“Listen lady, I don’t want to hurt you,” Adan said. I could see that he was subtly arranging his arms and legs under him.

“Don’t worry sweetie, you won’t,” she responded calmly before adding another open-handed smack, this time to his ear.

I heard a muffled noise nearby and remembered Russell was still bound up, but I was having trouble tearing my eyes away from the action.

“If that’s how you want to play this,” Adan said before blasting upward with a burst of speed and in one fluid motion attempted to flip the Servine over his shoulder. Unfortunately for him, she wrapped her legs around him again at the last moment, and they both went into a summersault. Somehow, Adan ended up on his back, with the blue woman straddling his chest.

“Oh, come on!” Adan yelled.

The blue woman brought a hand up to her mouth to stifle another giggle before adding, “I haven’t had this much fun in ages,” she said.

I saw a grey flash out of the corner of my eye, and I reflexively yelled, “Watch out!” to the Servine woman an instant before Maxine’s vicious kick would have connected with the woman’s chin. Luckily the thief leaned back, extending her spine well beyond all apparent physical limitations, and then she rolled over backwards and was back on her feet.

I felt something crash into my knee, and I looked down to see Russell’s giant noggin resting against my leg. Apparently, he wanted free badly enough to throw himself out of the couch in my general direction. He stared up at me with furious eyes, and I could see his mouth working under the tape. Two against one was bad enough. Three against one would have been totally unfair. Plus, I was afraid the big oaf might actually hurt her. I took a large step to the right and looked back towards the action.

Adan picked himself up off the ground looking rumpled and sweaty and, if I wasn’t mistaken, a little embarrassed. He glanced at me, and I gave him a game show host grin and a big thumbs up. He showed me a different digit, and then returned his focus on the Servine woman. Adan brought his guard up and started to inch forward in a fighter’s stance. Maxine circled to the woman’s other side, her face a mask of barely contained rage.

“Ok kids,” the woman said, “you’ve got two minutes and then I’ve got to call this.” She motioned to Maxine to come at her, and with a growl, Max lunged for her.

The thief stayed sideways to both her opponents, whipping her head back and forth to track Max and Adan’s attacks, and parrying blows with each hand and occasionally with a leg. It was like watching a choreographed fight scene from one of those old Kung Fu movies – except with a cowboy, an amazon, and an anthropomorphized house cat. Maybe it was more like an acid flashback?

I felt something at ankle level and looked down to see Russell trying to whack my shin with his forehead. I looked back at the action just as the woman redirected a punch from Adan, and used his forward momentum to flip him over into Maxine. Both of them went down in a heap. Then the blue woman made a show of dusting herself off, before smiling and blowing me a kiss. I actually waved at her, and it’s possible I was blushing.

Then she looked across the room, and I followed her gaze to a sleek, chrome laser pistol that was resting at the far end of the room. She must have lost it when Maxine surprised her. In the time I thought that it might be a good idea to pick up the gun and put an end to the entertaining melee, she was already across the room and scooping up the weapon. In that exact moment I decided that if I lived through this adventure, I would look into upgrading the muscles and nerves of my standard model meat wagon. I felt like a child in a room full of dangerous, feral animals.

“Well, that was fun,” the blue minx cooed sweetly, “but unfortunately, I have to get back to work.”

Maxine and Adan climbed slowly back on their feet, sweaty and panting, but surprisingly uninjured. Max glared at my brother, then slugged him in the arm.

“Ow,” he said, as he rubbed his arm. “What was that for?”

“I’ll probably have to blow your ship up – and unfortunately the brass wants you onboard when it goes up,” the Servine woman said with a pouty frown, “but before I do, could you one of you do me a favor and tell me if anyone else knows you found Earth?”

“Why the hell should I help you?” Maxine spat.

“Well, I did ask nicely,” the woman replied.

“It’s true, she did,” I said. I got looks. “She’s very polite.” That didn’t help. Russell was still trying to talk through the tape.

“Should one of you take his gag off?” the thief asked.

“I wouldn’t bother,” Adan answered. The look Russell gave him should have melted my brother’s face.

“What are you?” I asked. “Some sort of treasure hunter?”

“Huh?” She tilted her head to one side and regarded me for a moment, and I found myself wishing I had asked something more impressive. “I’m not looking for treasure. I work for the Directorate.”

“Oh,” Adan said nodding his head. I rolled my eyes. He had no idea what she was talking about. I’d seen that pho-studious look he was trying to pull off more than once. Not that I knew what she was talking about either, but I liked the way she stood with her hands on her hips when she said it. Maxine cleared up the confusion.

“Why’s the Servine Secret Service hassling us over some Terran trinket?” Maxine actually said that out loud. It reminded me of the ‘Susie sells seashells’ limerick.

“Oh, I see. It’s an incredibly interesting story, but also very top secret.” She pointed a finger on her free hand and sighted down the imaginary barrel of it at Max. “I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”

“Aren’t you going to kill us all anyway?” I asked.

“That’s a very good point handsome,” she answered. “I don’t want to kill you, but it’s for the good of your species, if you can believe it?” This time I was definitely blushing.

“I don’t,” Maxine grumbled, ruining the moment.

“Maybe we can come to some sort of a deal?” I asked in a far nicer tone.

“I’m not sure what you have to offer at this point. I have the record, I have the gun,” she was holding up fingers as she made her points. She then took an appraising look at our surroundings before continuing, “and, unlike you, I have a ship that can actually make the trip.”

“Sure eventually,” I said. “Definitely in your lifetime. You’re young... Not like a kid young... I just mean...your fur...hair? There’s no gray.”

“Dude?” Adan looked at me like I was insane.

’Oh, everybody plays the game,

And if you don’t, you’re called insane...’

“Not now Jules,” I said out loud for some reason. I felt everyone’s eyes on me, and I my sweat glands went from moderate production to copious. The thief cocked her head and smiled at me. Maxine’s scowled in a way that seemed to imply that I was betraying our entire race.

I took a deep breath and said, “Let’s try this again. One, you’re not going to shoot any of us.”

“Oh really?” she asked. “And what makes you say that?”

I shrugged. “Just a feeling. Two,” I held up two fingers of my own, “I have a micro-EMP built into my Mercury Seven implant.” Her smile wavered and I added, “I bet you wish you had a gun that used gunpowder right about now.”

“You’re bluffing,” she said carefully. I shook my head. “No, you’re not. I knew there was a reason I liked you. You’ve got depth. What’s your name, Tiger?”

“Galen.”

“Well Galen, I’m Vee. Now, is there a three?”

“Yeah, what I’m trying to say is that I think we can open a wormhole to Earth.”

She squinted at me. “Like, a wild ’hole? You mean you know where one is?”

“No, like, make a ’hole wherever I want one,” I replied. I snapped for effect. It probably looked dorky.

Her eyes went wide, and she said, “Well, do tell sweet-cheeks.”

I was about to but before I could, Russell interrupted me with a stream of garbled noise.

“Oh my God, what?” Adan said as he tore the duct tape from Russell’s mouth. It took more than a few upper-lip hairs with it.

“What is wrong with you two?” he asked incredulously, and my brother and I shrugged in unison. Then he let out an ear-splitting whistle, followed by, “Poochy! Cat!”

That’s when all hell broke-loose.