The Gay Nerd Who Stole His Heart
Chapter 17

Ella was on her period.

That week was always the worst week of every month, since not only was her temper atrocious, she also expected Kylan to take care of her as if they were dating. Therefore, she laid in his bed cranky, crossing her arms in annoyance. She had asked him for water, and it had taken a while, which was why as he entered back into the room, she narrowed her eyes at him, and he threw her the water bottle on the bed. As it plopped right beside her, inches from hitting her, she widened her arms, "What is wrong with you? You couldn't just give it in my hands."

"You're so annoying, Ella," Kylan hissed, climbing into the bed and laying beside her. He wrapped an arm under her head since she loved cuddling when she was on her period, and he reached his phone with his other hand. Ella frowned, opening the bottle and taking a sip, "You took forever."

"I took thirty seconds."

"That's my forever," she spat, closing the bottle and setting it beside her. They stayed silent for about thirty minutes when she groaned obnoxiously and said, "I want some sweets. I also need more pads."

"I'm not going anywhere," Kylan said with a chuckle.

She pouted, "You're such a horrible friend." "I'm your cousin."

"Please, Kylan?"

He paused for a moment and glanced over in her direction. She gave him her puppy dog eyes as she fluttered her eyelashes and puckered her lips innocently, which was what caused him to stand from the bed and say, "I hate you." When he heard her gasp, he faced her once more and said, "Only on your period." He grabbed her keys from his night table, "I'm using your car."

"Don't crash it," she said.

He shrugged his shoulders, "I'll try not to."

He had some cash left from the last time he bought groceries. He grabbed that money from his school bag and left. As per usual, every time he was alone, the words Jonah screamed at him repeated in his mind, and he drifted into his thoughts, feeling a bit of anxiety, biting his nails, and attempting to understand where everything had gone wrong. He had yelled at Jonah that night when his father returned home, but he thought that was the only reason Jonah had been upset. Hearing that it was also because he was talking to another girl was quite shocking since Jonah had been the one to yell at him to stay away from him. He said that Kylan had failed to accept him was also shocking; Kylan felt uneasy shivers run along his flesh whenever he thought about that line. Had he really been unaccepting?

"And it's funny since you never even considered maybe being with me."

Kylan bit his bottom lip; he had considered being with him. He had considered being with him for the last two years and continuously observed him every single day, wishing that the girls Jonah talked to were him instead, or Jonah's friends would be him instead. Suddenly, a bit of anger began warming his blood; he had been accepting for two years. He had even attempted to talk to him to settle their differences, but twice Jonah screamed at him. At first, Jonah called him a mistake and then said that he had not been accepted. They needed a final chat since Kylan had enough with the back and forth, and the jabs and insults sent between one another under the table, or the glares at Ashley, who did not deserve them.

Kylan finally reached the grocery store, the same one he went to with Ella a few weeks prior. It was a bit further from their home, but it had a few other items that the main grocery store did not. As he descended from the car, he headed inside and instantly found the aisle with all the pads and tampons. Ella never used pads, although she was not a virgin, since she was scared of infections that could happen if she kept it in too long. Kylan grabbed a few packs and headed for the sweets section. He grabbed a few chocolate bars, gummy candies such as gummy bears and gummy worms. He loved them just as much as Ella did, and he was excited to munch on them. He also grabbed chocolate ice cream, which Ella loved, and smirked smugly when he predicted her excited reaction when she would see everything he purchased. He was the best cousin she ever could have, and he sent a hand through his hair pridefully, smiling.

As he marched towards the cashier, he paid for all the items before exiting the store. It was dark; therefore, as he observed a tall man with broadened shoulders walk towards the entrance, he did not pay attention to him. Until the light came onto his face, and it was the features that caused his heart to flutter. And he was unable to stop himself from breathing his name, which caused the man to turn and stop in his tracks.

Jonah was wearing a hood, and he had not spoken to Kylan ever since they argued; they had been on bad terms recently, mostly because he despised seeing Kylan with Ashley pressed against him. However, this time, since he was alone, it did make him relax. Additionally, simply staring at Kylan's innocent face and his lean physique caused his body to warm abnormally. It made him a bit nervous, but he could not pull his eyes away. He had simply attempted to hate him and feel grossed out by Kylan, but nothing worked.

"Hey..." Kylan breathed cautiously, uncertain whether he was to get screamed at or not, and it caused Jonah to chuckle quietly.

He stepped forward, approaching Kylan, "Hey." He didn't want to take the initiative this time and let Kylan decide where this conversation would head. Kylan appeared confused, his throat tightening a bit as his cheeks became a pale pink. He sharply turned away, scratching the back of his neck, and Jonah let a weak smile pull his lips. There was something about Kylan that made him feel comfortable and calm, but also a desire to protect him and embrace him tightly against his chest. He still had no explanation but had decided to accept it and move on with it since there was nothing else he could do. He was still unsure whether he should be considered gay or not, but either or, Kylan was the one person in his mind that made his body warm unnaturally.

Kylan felt the atmosphere suddenly become humid, and he bit his bottom lip. He needed to say something quickly, but when he noticed Jonah's eyes dart to the items in his bag, his jaw tightened, but Kylan immediately shook his head, "They're for Ella."

He noticed how frightened Kylan became, sharply meeting his gaze with a shaky breath. Jonah felt his heart clench and shook his head, "I don't care anymore."

Kylan seemed shocked as he slowly replied, "What do you mean you don't care?"

"I mean, it's fine," Jonah replied calmly, "If she makes you happy, then that's all that matters. It was uncalled for, yelling at you as if it was your fault. It was simply not meant to be, and that's something neither of us can fight." Kylan paused for a moment.

"And it's funny since you never even considered maybe being with me."

His fists tightened around the bag he was carrying, and his jaw tightened. He was unsure which game Jonah was playing at, and maybe he was content and satisfied with Ashley, but he knew his heart was not uncomfortable. He always envisioned himself with a man, and it was true that he meant to numb the pain he felt by abiding by social norms and his father's wishes. However, Jonah had been the one to scream at him in hopes to bring him out from that mindset and to back away and say that he didn't care anymore all of a sudden, was toying with Kylan's mind.

Kylan cleared his throat, and Jonah noticed the change, a tension surrounding them. "What does that mean?" he asked quietly.

Jonah frowned, confused as to Kylan's sudden change in atmosphere, and said, "I mean that you can be with whoever you want to be."

After a low chuckle, Kylan raised an eyebrow and glanced towards the sky in hopes of keeping his composure. Hearing Jonah saying he didn't care was upsetting him, but confrontations were never his forte. Hence why he scratched the back of his neck; it was a comfort zone he only breached when he was on the field playing his favorite sport, the adrenaline causing him to be much more upfront. However, being placed in a situation such as this one, in front of a store with items for Ella in his hand, caused his anxiety to race abnormally. He sharply turned away from Jonah, his cheeks becoming a darker shade of red. He didn't want to admit how that upset him; therefore simply lowered his head and said, "Good to see you."

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Jonah observed as Kylan sidestepped him, and his fists tightened; there had been some hesitancy and some uncertainty in Kylan's gaze. Knowing that Kylan was usually in distress by the mere stare of him, Jonah turned around as Kylan walked away and said, "Is there anything you want to say to me?"

Kylan stopped in his tracks and paused for a moment; his heart was pounding so hard that he barely heard Jonah's voice. He gulped, his mouth running dry as he breathed, "No."

"Are you sure?" Jonah asked again with a raised eyebrow, stepping forward to approach Kylan but still keeping a certain distance.

He saw Kylan scratch the back of his head uneasily, and he replied, "Yes."

"Then why haven't you walked away yet?" Kylan felt his breathing becoming much more difficult as his stomach clenched. Jonah had been right. He stopped in his walk and waited. It was as if he assumed Jonah was going to say something else, something he wanted to hear. However, he did not respond. He merely waited in silence, his thoughts racing as he bit his bottom lip. Jonah had approached him even more and was near enough to touch him but didn't. Jonah pulled off his hood and shoved his palms in his pockets. "If you have something to say, then say it," he said sternly, "You can't keep holding in everything you feel until you've had a couple of shots, and suddenly your confidence is up the roof. Tell me straight up how you feel "

"I feel like you make no sense," he said quietly.

Jonah leaned forward, bringing his ear nearer, "I can't hear you."

"I said I feel like you make no sense," Kylan hissed, twirling on his heels and facing Jonah, who was still a good distance enough for an entire person to fit in between them.

Jonah could see the hurt behind Kylan's eyes, which caused his heart to clench a bit. He never meant to hurt Kylan, the emotions he had been feeling recently had bottled inside him, and they were emotions he had never felt before. Being attracted to a guy had been such a surprise to him, which caused his entire mind to tremble recklessly. Still, at the moment, he was not certain what was occurring, but there was something about Kylan that made him feel that way. Kylan scratched his forehead stressfully before letting a small chuckle escape his lips, "You have sex with me, then you tell me I'm not good enough. Then you spill a drink on my head, but then you show up at my house later that night. Then you scream at me to stay away from you, only to get mad that I replace a girlfriend, and then you yell at me that it's all my fault." All his say had been in one entire breath.

Jonah tilted his head to the side, "I know I've been confusing-"

"Then you tell me that I never considered being with you?"

"A lot of those words, I did not mean-"

"I've considered being with you for two years, Jonah, as long as I've set my eyes on you," he screeched, as if he was ranting to a wall, not meeting Jonah's gaze, "and I'm baffled by how insignificant you consider my feelings." Jonah shook his head slowly, "That's not true-"

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"You know why I yelled at you that day? It's because my dad already hates me; he's hated me from birth. My mother died giving birth to me, and I never had the chance to meet her. He tried to love me, but he just can't, and I do everything in my power to at least be a good kid so that he doesn't hate me even more. Being gay already is the worst thing that could possibly happen, and I..." Kylan trailed off, his throat clenching on its own as his bottom lip began quivering. He was unsure whether it was because of all the emotions he had been forced to bottle inside or because of the anxiety ripping his insides as he attempted to withhold his composure.

Jonah's eyes had widened in shock; Kylan never gave off the vibe of having difficulties at home. He always seemed content, and although shy, he appeared very calm and alright.

He breathed deeply, with trembling hands shaking the bag as he continued, with swelled up eyesight, and said, "I never intended for you to be confused, but even that is my fault. It's always my fault for everything. Even my whole birth was a fault." "That's not true."

"Yes, it is," Kylan screamed, "and it always will be."

"No, you're wrong."

Kylan shook his head slowly, "I hate being me, Jonah."

Jonah paused for a moment, Kylan's quiet sobs as he lowered his head, causing his entire body to feel as if it had been stabbed everywhere. The sudden urge to protect him was bursting through his system; he wanted to get rid of whatever was making Kylan feel this way. Although he had not been able to pinpoint why Kylan elicited such a response from his body, and he wasn't able to completely understand his feelings, seeing Kylan hurting was one of the worst things he had ever witnessed. To know that it was partially his own fault as well was what killed him inside. Hearing that he hated being himself was the worst part of all of this, and Jonah exhaled a deep, shaky breath. He wanted to reach out to him, embrace him, warm him to the point that he never felt cold again.

However, he kept his distance and watched in agony as Kylan cried. When Kylan calmed a bit, Jonah bent at the waist to meet Kylan's eye level and reached forward, placing his fingers on Kylan's chin and raising his head to meet his gaze. When they met eyes, Jonah smiled comfortingly, worrying in his eyes as Kylan stared back at him.

He said, "I like you." Those small three words caused Kylan's heart to burst from his body. He could feel all his organs melt with one another as such an ecstasy raced throughout his bones. He had never imagined, in a million years, that Jonah Minty, the student athlete able to play every single sport and being good at all of them, with millionaire father and an insane amount of privileges, popular jock catching all the girls eyes as he marched through the halls, would ever be saying this to him. However, hearing it caused him to gasp in shock; he even dropped his bags without realizing it. Jonah raised an eyebrow when Kylan shook his head and whispered, "What?"

Jonah chuckled; he should have predicted to receive that response. He cleared his throat and reached for Kylan's shoulder, "I like you, Ky." He pulled apart from him and straightened his spine, "The only reason I'm not kissing you is because you have a girlfriend, and I don't want you to cheat on her and seem like the bad guy since you're not. I don't want you to force yourself to like me either; I know you're happy with her. I'm just letting you know."

Kylan was still speechless, staring at Jonah's navy eyes with a bit of glare for the light-pole. He could barely breathe, and when Jonah lowered his eyes and stared at something in his hand, Kylan followed his gaze and noticed that he had picked up his bags. He grabbed them back with a gulp, and he suddenly felt warm lips pressed against his forehead. It lasted for a few seconds, but even when they separated from his flesh, he felt tingles spread from the spot. His fingers touched his forehead, meeting Jonah's smiling eyes again.

Jonah winked and said, "Goodnight, Kylan."