The Gay Nerd Who Stole His Heart
Chapter 32

"What are you doing here?" Jonah hissed, closing the door behind him, "It's the middle of the night."

"I know. I'm sorry to bother you," Kylan whispered, biting his bottom lip. It was tough, seeing Jonah stand so near to him and not being able to touch him or kiss him. However, every time he thought of those desires, the hurtful words he had spouted returned, which would hurt him even worse.

He shook his head, pushing his thoughts away; he came for one reason only. "Please, don't let Ella be expelled "

"And why shouldn't I?"

"Because it's not her fault, she got involved since she always does. I'm sorry about that. It's all my fault."

"She was always rude to me anyways."

Kylan shook his head, "She's rude to everyone; it's her character."

"I don't even like her."

"Please try to put your feelings aside," he pleaded, "It's her career on the line. The rest of her future."

"She beat up my child's mother-"

"Then blame me, alright?" Kylan exclaimed desperately, placing his palm against his own chest, "Expel me from the school, I don't care. Please don't hurt Ella's future because of me."

"My child's mother needed to have stitches on her eyebrow, and I'm supposed to be alright with this?"

"Jonah, I'm begging you," he whispered with such heartache in his tone, "She's the only person I have. Please."

Jonah fell silent; he was always so weak to Kylan's desperate stares as his eyes filled with tears behind those large glasses. Eventually, he sighed, "Fine, I'll talk to my father about it, ask him to drop it."

Kylan exhaled a long breath in relief, "Thank you." With that, he turned around and was about to start walking towards his car when Jonah called his name.

"So you came here only to talk about Ella?" he raised an eyebrow, "Not even about us?"

Kylan lowered his head, biting his bottom lip and facing him again, "You hit me."

"I didn't mean to "

"Twice," he breathed.

"That wasn't my intention Ky."

Kylan shook his head, "I knew you didn't love me, but I never expected you to put your hands on me."

Jonah felt guilty for that, and it was evident it had hurt Kylan deeply. He exhaled a long breath before saying, "I'm sorry."

Kylan shrugged his shoulders, "It doesn't even matter anymore, so don't worry about it."

"Kylan, I don't want you to hate me."

He scoffed, widening his arms as he began laughing, "I don't hate you. That's the problem. I could never hate you, I think about you all the damn time, and I still do." He looked away, turning his head and scratching the side of his head with such desperation and pain that Jonah forced himself not to tear up as well, "I'm still in love with you, and that's the problem. Clearly, you moved on."

"I haven't." Kylan's breath fell short in his throat, and he raised his eyes, meeting the navy ones he admired so much. "I can't stop thinking about you." Kylan shook his head rapidly, "That's not right."

"It is."

"It's harder to move on this way. You don't make sense."

"What are you talking about?"

"Why did you hurt me?" He shouted violently, glaring into Jonah's eyes, "Why did you say all those things to me? Why did you leave that night?"

"Because you wanted me to go—"

"I needed you more than ever that night," he breathed, his voice wobbly.

Jonah shook his head, "It's not all about you, Ky; you hurt me too-"

"By what, comparing you to other guys?"

"Yes!" he retorted, "You're not the only one that can feel hurt by all this."

"So that makes it okay for you to tell me that you hope my father beats me to a pulp?" he cried, his eyes filling with tears. This past day, he had been sobbing the entire time, hence why he was not surprised with himself. "You have absolutely no idea what I've been through because of my Dad, and for you to even have the audacity to say that kills me inside," he screamed.

Jonah bit his bottom lip stressfully, "I didn't mean that Ky-"

"Did you have sex with her?"

Jonah frowned, "What?"

"This morning," he hissed, not exactly wanting to hear the answer as he looked away nervously, "you weren't at school. She dropped you off; I'm guessing you were at her house. Did you have sex with her?"

Jonah gulped, and he was moments from shaking his head when he paused; he deserved the truth. He had hoped that feelings would return if he had sex with her, but the only face he could picture in his mind was Kylan's. He had made a mistake, but he knew it would hurt Kylan to his core. He deserved the truth, though, and that was enough for Jonah to sigh and whisper, "Yes."

Kylan was shocked, speechless, and he merely shook his head and turned around, marching towards his car.

Jonah walked after him, "Kylan, let me explain." He continued to hurry to his car until Jonah grabbed his wrist and turned him around. Kylan was sobbing so hard that he could barely breathe, and he gripped his face with his palms, crying as if he had been told his life was coming to an end. His shallow breathing as he began coughing, shaking his head with sniffles, and continuing to bawl his eyes out, caused Jonah to widen his eyes. He had not realized how much he meant to this boy, which shocked him to see him in such agony.

He gulped, placing a palm on his shoulder, "It was a mistake, Ky. I did it because I thought it would make me forget about this, and maybe I would love her again and want to be with her. It didn't, Ky," Kylan shook his head, and Jonah leaned in, attempting to uncover his eyes, but Kylan resisted. "I love you, alright? I couldn't stop thinking about you. The whole time, I wished I was hearing your moans, and it was your body twitching under my touch. You mean so much to me, Ky, and I don't want to lose you."

His own voice became wobbly when he realized there was a chance of him losing Kylan, and he inhaled a deep breath, not wanting to show a sign of weakness by his eyes filling with tears, "You changed my entire life Ky. Please, I said I'm sorry, I'm never going to put my hands on you again."

Kylan shook his head, sobbing loudly, the same sobs he had when he was a child and his father beat him until he could barely walk anymore. He had gone through tough times, and this was one of those times where he wished to crawl under his bed and hide for the remainder of his lifetime. He was clearly not listening to anything Jonah was saying, since in his mind, all he was hearing was what Leah had said and Jonah's admittance to sleeping with her.

Hence why he shoved Jonah's palm away and raised his eyes one last time, peering into his eyes with such pain that Jonah felt it through his own body. He took a few deep breaths before finally hissing, "You're dead to me."