The Gay Nerd Who Stole His Heart
Chapter 44

Kylan sat on his bed in a ball as he snuggled his face deeper into the pillow, ignoring the fact that it was soaked from all his tears. He had made a mistake, a serious one that he was unsure whether he could return from. Along with that, Charles continuously attempted to contact him, and he had no energy to do so. Ella avoided him, Bradley glared at him whenever he saw him, and he told Charles to give him space since he needed to deal with personal things, and that was Jonah. He observed Jonah around school; he seemed as normal as ever as if he never even had a breakup with anybody. Kylan covered his eyes under his glasses and lethargically marched along the hallways, wishing he did not have to attend school. The only reason he was at school was because it got him away from his father, and he would do anything to escape that hell.

Oftentimes he would exit the home in the early morning merely to reach a local library and sit there, fold his arms and close his eyes for some time since his nights were left sleepless. He always thought about the fury behind Jonah's navy eyes, as well as the hurt that overshadowed them, and it caused his heart to clench every time.

He had attempted to speak to Jonah a few times. Every time, he was either dismissed, pushed into a locker by his friends, or told to get away from him with such dry tone and mere hatred in his eyes, he wanted to disappear into a hole. The few times he had seen Ella around the school, she immediately raced the other direction, not wanting to cross his path. Even more, the bullying for the fact that he was gay became even worse since the people realized he had not been hanging around Jonah at all.

He oftentimes returned home with a few scratches and small bruises, but nothing extreme. Even so, it was the words that pained him, caused his heart to ache and his stomach to clench. The insults stabbed him, and it was hard to continue to walk normally after hearing that he was a nuisance, irrelevant, and a nobody. It had been a month since he spoke to any of them, and although Jonah's glares had settled, he still acted as if Kylan was nonexistent.

However, he was about to turn the hall when he heard Jonah's voice. Kylan hid behind the wall and listened to the conversation when he heard his name. The other student had asked, "Is it true you had a thing with a guy?" "He was a joke," Jonah had laughed, marching to the other way of the corridor, "I didn't even like him. Honestly, it was because he looked like a girl that made me go for him. But his personality was awful. I'd never go back to him again." That caused Kylan to shut down completely, as he lethargically exited the building and returned to the confinement of his home. When he returned to his home, he was kicked in the stomach by his father the minute he stepped in the door, and his father snarled, "You're in my way."

"I'm sorry," Kylan apologized frantically as he remained kneeling on the ground, lowering his eyes, "I didn't know you were leaving."

"You're such a waste of breath," his father growled as he slammed his foot at the back of Kylan's head, causing his forehead to scratch the floor. His father entered his vehicle and exited the premises, and after he heard the car reached a far distance, Kylan burst into tears as he stood to his feet and entered his home. Immediately, he reached the alcohol cabinet and began chugging as much as he could, but the beverage was only causing his emotions to intensify. Soon enough, he found himself staring at the mirror with a bottle of alcohol and tears leaking from his eyes. He reached inside the cabinet with all the sharp razors, and with tears rushing from his eyes, and pulled his sleeve upwards. He felt worthless as if he meant absolutely nothing to this world. The pain he felt was unimaginable, to the point that with all the slices he crossed on his flesh, it was not enough to stop the growing tears. Eventually, he fell to his knees, sobbing as loud as ever, the blood dripping on the floor.

After a moment, when he calmed down, he grabbed a towel and wrapped his arm tightly, allowing the blood to soak the towel, and after a few hours, the bleeding stopped. He cleaned the blood that had spilled on the floor and returned to his bedroom, laying on the sheets and sobbing himself into a deep sleep.

The soccer season was approaching an end, and the finals game was always something he went to watch. Usually, he played in them, but this year, since he had quit, he bit his bottom lip and headed towards the back field. He was alone, made his way through the throng crowded around the bleachers, and sat amongst the people. Within the bleachers sat Leah and Jacob, who observed Jonah finishing warmups and heading to the referee as captain. He also spotted Bradley, and he was not surprised to replace Ella sitting at the fence, talking to a few of her friends as she pointed to Bradley, waving a hand at him, to which he responded with a wink.

Kylan sighed, feeling his eyes fill with tears again, and he lowered his eyes, the stinging of his arm causing his emotions to become similar to wildfires. He wiped the tears from his cheeks, attempting to calm himself down when he felt a palm on his shoulder.

As he glanced upwards, Charles met his gaze, to which he inhaled sharply. Charles noticed the gloomy atmosphere from Kylan, seeing his eyes sunk and his rigid appearance as if he had not slept in days. Even the manner he trembled scared him, and he gulped when he noticed Kylan's sleeve becoming a dark red.

"Hey, Kylan. I didn't know you would come watch the game," Charles breathed, hesitant on whether he should mention the red stain.

Kylan followed his gaze and his arm behind his back, hiding the stained sleeve. The wound had probably opened, and it started bleeding again. However, he did not want Charles to realize this, so he sent him a weak smile that turned into a grimace.

"Yea," he breathed, his voice raspy, "I wanted to come watch this year."

Charles nodded his head and turned towards the field as the game began. It was quite an intense game, but during, Charles attempted to create small talk with Kylan, to which he responded dryly. He would mutter a small curse when they missed a shot and smiled when they scored, leading to a tie, a golden goal, and a penalty shootout. The boys ended up losing in the end, but since it had been a magnificent game, all the crowd cheered as they marched to the center of the field and formed their line.

Kylan saw this as his cue to leave and stood from his seat. He was moments from leaving when Charles grabbed his hand. When he turned around, Charles wrapped his arms around his neck, tightening his grasp and whispering, "I'm not sure what's going on, but if you ever need to listen to my music or need comfort, I'm always here."

Kylan gulped, nodded his head, and reciprocated the embrace for a short time before pushing Charles from him. As Kylan began marching towards the school, he glanced over his shoulder and watched Jonah approach Leah, wrap an arm over her shoulders, and place a long passionate kiss on her lips. Jacob approached them as well, jumping from excitement as he wrapped his little arms around Jonah's legs. They seemed to be the perfect family together, and Kylan turned away, feeling his eyes swell with tears.

He continued to march forward, wiping as many tears as he could. He had been bleeding for too long, his sleeve creating a larger red stain, hence why he was attempting to hurry home and wrap it with bandages.

Maybe he was never meant to be a part of Jonah's life, and he had ruined everything. However, his attention was stolen from him when he heard a voice call his name. He recognized the voice, and when he turned around once again, Ella stood there, twirling her thumbs as she nervously met his gaze.

The gloom in his eyes caused her to shudder a bit, and she took a step backward, uncertain whether it was the energetic Kylan she remembered or if it was a different person entirely. His stare was dry, cold, and very absent as if there was no living behind them.

She cleared her throat, having built up enough courage to say, "I just wanted to say hi."

He slowly nodded his head and replied a short, almost unbearable, "Hi."

As he turned to walk away, he heard her gasp as she exclaimed, "Woah, Kylan, what happened to your arm?" She had noticed the sleeve growing with red, and he cursed under his breath, marching even faster as she stood in shock, her mind playing a series of different thoughts, to the point that when she realized what had occurred, he was gone.