The Gay Nerd Who Stole His Heart
Chapter 74

Kylan had been jogging for hours before he stopped.

Even after those hours passed, he had on yet stopped crying. It was only moments later that he realized that his phone had been ringing, and when he checked, he noticed he had missed calls from not only Ella but Jonah as well. In a rage, he slammed his phone against the pavement, stomping on it with his heel before continue to walk forward. He had no idea where he was, but he continued to walk with his hands in his pockets, observing all the speeding vehicles passing him. Everything Jonah had said had been painful to listen to. He had not intentionally killed his mother, but for that to be used to purposely hurt him was something he had never imagined would leave Jonah's tongue. They loved each other, at least, he had assumed. But those were things he was unsure if he could overlook.

"I didn't kill my mom," he repeated to himself, crying drastically as he attempted to wipe his face, only for more to leak from his eyes.

You killed your own mom!

"No," he shook his head, gripping his hair, "no, I didn't." His teeth were gritted as he cried, "I didn't kill mom."

There was part of him that wanted to believe Jonah only said all those things because he was angry that he had been sleeping with Sam. However, another part believed that those words would have never entered his mind or left his mouth if he did not even partially mean them.

You self-harmed because you have to live with the fact that you mean absolutely nothing to anybody in this fucking world!

"I do," he attempted to convince himself, but Jonah's words had been enough. Maybe he did not mean anything to anybody. Maybe he never really did have a purpose in living. He had tried so hard not to let all those different attributes in life bother him, but there must have been a reason why he never had any friends. Why his father hated him, he unintentionally killed his mother, and Jonah was saying those things.

They must be true.

Jonah and Ella were frantically driving in separate counties near the company building in hopes of replaceing him. Ella was hysterical, on the phone with Jonah as they both searched for Kylan.

"He's not good," Ella sobbed, slamming her palm against the steering wheel, "we've been looking for hours, Jonah. What if something happened to him?"

"Calm down, Ella!" he was panicking himself, feeling guilty that he had allowed such an outburst from his anger. Of course, he had intentionally attempted to hurt Kylan, knowing exactly which stuff was going do the trick, but he had not thought about the repercussions.

At this point, he was very worried, his hands trembling as he tightened his grip on the steering wheel, making a turn down the road.

"It's all your fucking fault! You just had to go and hit him with the lowest of blows—"

"Shut up, alright? You're the one that brought him to the damn office knowing I was pissed off."

"Stop blaming everyone else for your fucking mistake! If Kylan ends up killing himself, I swear I will have you thrown in jail for the rest of your life"

"Don't you fucking dare say shit like that to me. Kylan's stronger than you think; we'll replace him." Suddenly, he saw an object on the side of the road, and when he crossed it once, he turned around and parked the car at the side of the road. As he walked across to the object, he picked up Kylan's broken phone, "We're getting close. Come to this county. I found his phone. He broke it, probably because we kept calling it."

"I'm on my way," Ella shouted on the phone.

Jonah returned to his car, clenching his teeth and whispering, "Come on, babe, where are you?"

Kylan had been standing at the crosswalk for about an hour, watching as the cars flew by, trucks drove by, and the crosswalk light continued to shift from green to red. He observed it, his emotions starting to grow numb as he observed the speed those cars were driving at.

You mean absolutely nothing to anybody in this fucking world!

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"I thought I did..." he whispered under his breath, his bottom lip trembling uncontrollably, "I thought I did..."

Another truck drove by.

He inhaled a sharp breath; he no longer wanted to be a burden. All he was was an annoying housewife for Jonah, and Jonah would be completely fine if he were gone. Ella always worried about him, and it would be a huge weight off her shoulders without him. Bradley worried about Ella since she worried about Kylan; their relationship could blossom without him.

He was such a burden on everyone.

"Maybe I'll get to meet mom," he breathed quietly as he stared at the light turn red and another truck drive by.

And then, with a blurry vision filled with tears, he took a step forward.