The Gay Nerd Who Stole His Heart
Chapter 82

When Kylan entered the condo, Jonah was in the shower. He heard him curse out loud a few times, waiting in the living room, and soon heard Jonah's footsteps grow louder. He had noticed the ring case on the ground and the ring on the floor, and he was uncertain whether he was prepared to have this talk.

Jonah appeared with a towel over his head and scoffed when he saw Kylan seated in his living room, "Get out." He was wearing sweats and a sweater, and it seemed as if he was headed somewhere. However, he turned and stormed back to his bedroom, slamming the door closed. Kylan waited, hearing the drawers being opened and closed aggressively, and Jonah returned with his sneakers on.

When he realized Kylan was still there, he gritted his teeth, "I said get out."

"We need to talk."

"No, Ky. I'm done with you. We're over."

"You always say that when you're mad-"

"Well, this time, I fucking mean it. Why would you mention all those things to a girl you barely knew if they weren't on your mind?"

Kylan shook his head, "I just talked about our relationship."

"And mentioned all the negative shit I've done. Why didn't you tell her I got your Dad into rehab? Or that I paid for your school? I had my father write you a letter of recommendation as mayor, even though he fucking hated you. How about the fact that I had you reconnect with your Dad? Or that I fucking saved you when he wanted to beat your ass years ago?"

"Jonah," Kylan breathed, "relax."

"No, I'm not fucking relaxing, Kylan. You make me seem like such a bad guy. Don't get me wrong, I've fucked up before, but you're not so innocent either. We both have made mistakes, haven't we?" "Yes, I agree."

"Then don't make me seem like I'm such a terrible guy when I'm not. Yes, I've said some things I shouldn't have, but I still think of when you told me that I should never have been born when we were sophomores in University. That I'm a waste of oxygen, that I was a burden on my family, and that's why they don't care if I'm not there you've said so much shit to me too, Kylan. And you've done a lot as well."

"What the fuck have I done?"

"Remember when you broke my car windows when you were angry a drunk girl kissed me on the cheek?"

"Yes, because you didn't tell her no!" he exclaimed.

"All I'm saying is that we both fucked up, but you making it seem like I'm that terrible of a guy isn't fine. We've worked through so much, and most of our times are good moments." Kylan growled, "Okay, I'm sorry for mentioning those things to her."

"I don't even want to hear that apology."

"What is wrong with you?"

"Why the fuck did you return the damn ring?"

Kylan paused for a moment before tilting his head, "I don't think we're ready for a serious relationship like that—"

"It's been six years," Jonah chuckled incredulously, "how long do you plan on waiting?"

"Until we don't have fights like these anymore," Kylan scratched the side of his head, "the things you said to me were awful. You use everything I tell you against me whenever you're angry." "I said I'm sorry."

"It still hurts, Jonah!" Kylan shouted back, stepping forward, "You told me I killed my damn mother!"

"Babe, you know I didn't mean that."

"It doesn't make it right to say that."

"I fucking said I was sorry. What more do you want?"

"Our relationship has no respect whatsoever. No trust either-"

"How can I trust you if you went and got yourself into a whole other relationship a day after we broke up? With a girl too?"

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Kylan paused for a moment, staring into those dark navy eyes that seemed so black. He had felt love and desires from them once, but now he knew what needed to be done. There was no point in arguing since it would never end. His features softened as he whispered, "We really need to break up."

His voice had cracked since his eyes were tearing up. He didn't want to let go, and he wished he could pick up that ring and just act like everything was alright.

However, it wasn't. They had done an insane amount of trauma and hurt to one another that would only lead to more pain. Not only to himself but Jonah as well.

Jonah's gritted teeth loosened, and his entire face softened as well. He turned away for a moment, his eyes swelling with tears, and his palms desperately gripped the sides of his sweats in the hope to resist the urge to embrace Kylan. They both needed this.

"I know we do..." he sighed.

Kylan slowly nodded his head, "We can't keep hurting each other."

"I never meant to hurt you, Ky. I love you and will always love you."

"And I love you too, Jonah."

Jonah tilted his head to the side, his mind replaying all the memories they had together as he stared at Kylan's watering eyes. He remembered when they were only eighteen and went to the beach. When they went to the movies, and Kylan got jealous of all the girls staring at Jonah. When he sat in front of Kylan's door for six hours, waiting for him to open.

When Ashley caught them making out in the bathroom, or when he threw the pencil on his glasses. When he dumped water over his head out of jealousy, or when he hugged Kylan so tight when he exited the rehab facility. When they argued on the soccer field. The cry when Kylan got the piercing, or the way his eyes glinted when he told him Jacob was on his way. Kylan's pouting look when he was teased, or when he complained that Jonah's black hair made him look mean, and "I don't even think children would approach you."

They would sometimes go driving for hours, talking about endless things. One thing he would never forget is the smile on Kylan's face that caused his entire body to warm and made him feel alright. Even coming back home from an exhausting day at work and replaceing Kylan in the kitchen or the living room with a bucket of ice cream in his arms.

They had built too many memories that Jonah had never even thought about a life without Kylan.

Jonah couldn't stop the tears, and they slipped from his eyes, "I'm going to miss you, Ky, more than you will ever know."

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He saw Kylan's arm raise a bit but then lower back to his side. "I don't even know what I'll do without you," he breathed.

"I'm only a phone call away. I'll always be there for you whenever you need me."

"And I'll always be there for you," he sobbed.

Jonah nodded his head, "You have to stop crying."

"You're crying too," a weak smile pulled his lips.

They both chuckled as if forgetting what was truly occurring at the moment. However, when the laughter faded, the gloom returned, and Kylan whispered, "I'm gonna go now, okay?" "Please stay safe."

"I will," Kylan wiped his cheeks, "you too."

"If you think you're going to relapse, call me."

"I've been fine for years now, but I will."

"And please," Jonah raced to the ring case, placed the ring inside, and extended it to Kylan, "I know you don't want to take it, but Ky, please."

Kylan sighed, "Okay."

Jonah stood still as he watched Kylan walk to the door. "I love you," he said when Kylan opened the door.

"I love you so much more."

Then he walked out, and the door closed, leaving a sobbing Jonah leaning against the wall.