The Girl Next Door
The Boy Next Door Chapter 50

"Good practice, man. Keep playing like that and you'll be back on the field in no time." Beck slaps my back as he walks past on the way to his locker.

"Thanks." I hate to jinx myself, but yeah, it kind of felt like old times out there. Everything Beck threw my way, I caught with ease. Not a fumble in sight. It was nice. Reassuring. As if one piece of the puzzle has finally fallen back into place. With each practice I've been steadily improving. it's almost like I'm getting my groove back.

All I can hope is that it continues, and that Coach is taking notice.

So far, he hasn't said anything. He's been watching from the sidelines and jotting down notes. It's enough to set my nerves on end, but I try not to let the pressure get to me.

Which hasn't been easy. Especially with everything that happened with Candance. I was afraid that it would mess with my head even more than before, but strangely enough, it hasn't. Don't get me wrong, what she said hurts like a mother fucker but... I can't allow someone who I don't matter to, to totally f**k with my life. She's already done enough of that. It's taken me a couple of days to come to that epiphany but now that I have, there's peace to be found in the decision. Some relationships just aren't viable. And when it happens to be with your own parent, it's painful. Afterall, in a perfect world, these are the people who are supposed to love you no matter what. Who are supposed to have your back when no one else does. Who you can depend on when s**t goes sideways. They aren't supposed to be the ones who bring the s**t that makes life go sideways.

But that's the way it goes, right?

It just makes me realize that I'm lucky to have my dad and Jenna.

Especially Jenna.

I appreciate her now more than ever.

As soon as Coach walks into the locker room, the boisterous voices surrounding me fall silent. None of these loud mouths want to draw attention to themselves. He grinds to a halt in the middle of the space and snaps out a couple of names. "Reinholtz, Collins, and Montgomery. See me on your way out."

I give him a chin lift in acknowledgment as he stalks into his office, slamming the door behind him with a resounding thud. Well f**k me.

I'm not sure if I'm about to get my a*s chewed out or not. I'm still a little sore from the last time he lit into me. Coach isn't the kind of guy to p***y foot around a subject or hold back. If he thinks you're f*****g up, you better believe he's going to give it to you straight. In full, Technicolor detail.

And here I'd actually been feeling relaxed and good about myself after stepping foot off the turf. Instead of hanging around and shooting the s**t with Beck, like I'd normally do, I strip and haul a*s to the shower. I want to be the first one in Coach's office and get this over with.

Ten minutes later, with dripping wet hair, I knock on the closed office door, and peek my head inside. "Hey, Coach, you wanted to see me?"

He pauses the action playing out across the television screen and swivels around to face me before pointing a finger at the chair on the opposite side of the desk. "Park it, Montgomery."

It doesn't matter if this is my fourth and final year playing for this guy, every time I'm called in here, it makes me feel like an eight-year-old sent to the principal's office. It's ridiculous. I'm a twenty-one-year-old man.

That being said, I do what I'm told and drop my a*s on the faux leather chair as the older man scrutinizes his clipboard of notes.

Paper and pencil, if I'm not mistake.

Coach is old school like that.

"Seems like whatever s**t needed to get flushed out in your head has done so."

It's not a question. More of a statement.

I sit up a little straighter. "Yes, sir."

"As long as you continue to play at this level, I'm moving you to first string." He sits back in his chair and gives me a well-honed death stare. I can't help but squirm under the intensity of it. "Good. Kwiatkowski is a talented player, but he doesn't have your intuitiveness out on the field."

"Thank you." This is the closest thing Coach has ever come to giving me a compliment.

See? It's like I secretly suspected. Beneath that crusty hard exterior lies a soft nougat filling. You just have to take the time to dig deep and replace it.

"That being said, you manage to get your head stuck up your a*s again, you'll be riding the pine for the season. I'm not jacking around with this. Are we clear?" "Crystal."

"Good." He points to the door. "Now get the hell out of here."

He doesn't need to tell me twice. I practically jump from the chair and shoot through the door as a wave of relief crashes over me. Most of the guys are still getting dressed.

Collins and Reinholtz eye me with speculation, looking a little green around the gills themselves. Can't blame them for that.

As soon as I make it back to my locker, Beck raises a brow. I can't help the grin that breaks loose across my face.

"f**k, yeah!" He punches me in the arm. "It's all about controlling the bullshit up here." He points to the side of his head before shrugging. "Or maybe it has more to do with what you're packing. All I know is that it's one head or the other." I snort. The guy isn't wrong.

He grabs his athletic bag and slings it over his shoulder. "You ready to get out of here?"

"Yup."

So damn ready.

I feel the need to go out and celebrate. Or maybe have a one-on-one celebration with Alyssa. I really need to fix s**t with her. Unfortunately, old habits die hard, and I pushed her away, needing a little distance to figure out how I was feeling. I need to explain what happened to her so we can move forward.

Things are starting to look up.

With that thought circling through my head, I push through the locker room door before skidding to a halt when my gaze lands on Alyssa. She's leaning against the far wall with her arms crossed against her chest. For just a sliver of a moment, a feeling of déjà vu crashes over me along with a prickle of unease.

Beck bumps into me from behind. "Dude, what the-"

His gaze falls on Alyssa. "Oh, hey, Alyssa." His gaze bounces between the pair of us. A moment later, he sidesteps me and calls over his shoulder, "Bye, Alyssa." And then he's disappearing down the corridor and around the corner. Whatever the reason she's here, waiting for me, it's not good.

"Hi." There's about ten feet separating us, but it might as well be an ocean. There's a palpable disconnect between us and deep down, I know it's my fault. I pushed her away instead of opening up and letting her in.

As if to solidify those thoughts, her lips lift into a ghost of a smile as she shoves away from the wall. "You didn't have time to talk the other day, so I thought I'd come here so we could have a conversation."

I wince.

f**k.

This is worse than I thought.

I plow a hand through my hair. "I'm sorry about that. There's been a lot of s**t going on." s**t I needed to work out on my own. "Do you want to grab something to eat and we can talk?" Maybe then we can both get on the same page.

There's a moment of hesitation. One that has the hope rising within me. But then she shakes her head, a regretful expression flickering across her features. "I can't. I'm meeting up with Zoe to work on choreography." She sucks in a deep breath before glancing away and forcing out the rest in a burst. "This isn't working out."

I can only blink as the words swirl through my head, refusing to compute. "You...want to break up?"

Alyssa presses her lips together before jerking her head into a tight nod. "Yeah, I'm sorry."

I open my mouth to argue before slamming it shut again. I can't believe this is happening. This is exactly what I was afraid of. Of Alyssa getting to know the real me and then walking away.

Just like Candance.

It only reinforces that I'm not good enough. That I've never been good enough.

I flinch at those ugly thoughts as they force their way into my brain. No matter how much you try to combat them, it only takes one little thing for them to flare to life again and take over. Kind of like a rash. "Colton?" Alyssa's voice softens as she closes the distance between us, hesitantly placing her fingers on my forearm. "Are you all right?"

Her touch jolts me back to the present. "I'm fine." Instead of trying to explain myself, everything inside me shuts down. The one girl I've always wanted, the one I was trying to change for, doesn't want me in return. Numbness sets in.

I'm tired of not being good enough.

Tired of people walking out of my life.

Turns out that Alyssa isn't as different as I thought she was.

I'm not sure why I thought she was.