I tossed and turned in my bed, any position, just any position that'll help me sleep. But nothingseemed to work, I knew why but I didn't wanna see it.. him.

I picked up my phone and saw the timing, it's two in the morning. I could hear every heartbeataround me, everything was calm. I slipped into my fuzzy slippers and pulled a light cardigan andwent downstairs to the kitchen. I avoided looking out of the window as I could feel one heat beatinganxiously. For the last week he has been coming here and sitting under my balcony, waiting for me.He would be there untill morning or when I decide to go to work, I would be lying if I say that in hispresence I don't feel safe and sound. No longer I am being haunted by my nightmares, every night Idream about mocha eyes. The warmth, the emotions in them sends chills up and down my body,entrapping me in it's magic and I am willingly submitting to it.

His smell has engulfed me, even unconsciously I would lean more into his scent, mud on a rainy day.So earthly, so masculine, so raw, it was a lullaby to me. Calming every nerve in my body. Gulping aglass of water I peeked through the window, there he was in his lycan form sitting just a few feetsaway from the door looking expectantly at me.

My heart started to beat at a crazy rate, my entire being wanted to be near him, my wolf wanted totouch her lover. She wanted to ruffle his hair, caress his cheeks, look into his eyes and repeat theonly thing she has been saying since she knew about him, I have been waiting so long for you.

His tail stated to wiggle when I moved towards the door. I didn't know what will I say, I didn't knowwhat I want or need. Do I really want a mate? Need a mate? Am I even ready for it? Am I ready toput everything at stake once again? I doubt I can trust anyone, anymore. He is a lycan after all, heshouldn't be bothered about a rankless wolf and her issues.

I was hesitant to open the door but did it anyway, he sat up looking excited as his tail wiggled at afaster pace. My body hummed being this close to him, I closed the door behind me as I lookedintently in his neon blue eyes. My heart started to flutter, he looked so innocent. An irony to whathe is, a lycan, one of the most feared and powerful being. A being known for it's strength andnobility.

We just stood there still looking at each other drinking up each other's presence. I heard bonescracking making me come out of my daze. I was tempted to reach out for him but I containedmyself. My heart started to flutter like a fae's wings, in a blink of an eye there stood a very.. verymasculine man.

He was what people call raw masculinity. I gulped as I took him in, his stood 6'7 feet tall with waytoo broad shoulders. His eyes were warm mocha, just like my dreams. His soft brown-blond hair wasshoulder length, tempting me to run my fingers in his thick locks. His nose was pretty crocked,showing how many time he broke it, I chuckled lightly. His lips. Oh god.. beautiful pink lips, I had asudden urge to nibble them untill his skin breaks. My eyes started to assess him even more.Muscles were wrapped in his arms tightly, showing the bulge of his biceps and triceps and thickrope of veins running all over his arms. His chiseled chest made my knees weak. My eyes traileddown to his delicious abs and I almost fainted. I wanted to lather chocolate all over them and lick itoff. I have never once seen this tight 8 pack abs.

Suddenly my lips felt dry, unconsciously my tongue wet my lower lip and my teeth grazed it. I hearda growl made me jump, I looked at him in embarrassment. I looked away not wanting to look there,"D-don't you have clothes?" I say moving back a little. I had stepped a little closer to him.

"Do you want me to be in clothes?" His huskily voice made me cream my shorts, no I am notwearing panties.

My face was beet red when I smelt my arousal mixed with his, he let out a low rumble of lust fromhis chest.

"Yes" NO.

I answered his question and turned around, my back facing him. I don't know why but I couldn'tkeep the smile off my face. I bit my lips to stop my self from sighing when I felt his warmth near me."I am dressed, moya malen'kaya al'fa” (my little alpha) his hot breath hitting the back of my earmade me shiver in delight. Whatever he said in his foreign language made my wolf roll over andshow her belly. Though he was only a feet away from me, it felt like we're were mere inches away.Even then I didn't like the distance, I wanted to close it... but not now.

I turned around only to be captured by his lips on mine. His lips felt so warm on mine, they didn'tmove nor did mine. I was frozen, he pulled back with the biggest grin on his face, "You havebeautiful lips, moya lyubov' * (my love) he said and tucked a stand of hair behind my ears. His handsrested peacefully on my hips, I don't know why but I felt complete. Like a missing piece has beenput into place. His warmth had engulfed my every senses, my wolf purred,, wanting me to snugglein the arms of our lover.

I was still shocked as to what happened as I looked wide eyed at the man in front of me who is verymuch amused by my reaction, " Glad to know I have such an effect on you" he said making me snapout of my daze. I furrowed my brows at him, “Yeah well I didn't expect you to just kiss me like that!"I reasoned.

He chuckled, "Whatever floats your boat" he mocked making me narrow my eyes at him. He wasabout to dip his head down again when I put my hand over his lips, "We need to talk!" I saidseriously, he rose his eyebrows at me and nodded his head.

We sat down on the kitchen counter opposite to each other, "You never told me your name" I saidright after we sat down. He looked at me with an intense look making me squirm, "You neverasked.." he said making me feel guilty. I looked away, "I-1 wa--" he shook his head with a small smile,"It's okay, moya lyubov' you don't have to explain yourself." He said with a dazzling smile makingmy heart skip a beat. I smiled in gratitude, "Sebastian. Sebastian Hounds" he said and looked deepin my eyes.

"Sebastian..." His name rolled off my tongue unconsciously, I saw his shiver a little. I smirkedmentally, I too have an effect on him.

"You make my name sound so perfect, moya lyubov' " he took my hand in his and brought it to hislips. I blushed when he kissed my knuckles softly maintaining eye contact. I pulled my hands backsoftly and tucked an imaginary lock of hair behind my ear, "What is your name, moya malen'kayaal'fa” he asked plopping his elbow on the counter top and putting his chin on his palm.

I smiled looking at him, so adorable, "Nora Huntsons" I said, my insides melted when he toowhispered my name. Perfect, my wolf's emotion travelled through me.

"So what did you want to talk about?" He said breaking a long silence, I looked up at him with astraight face, taking a deep breath,,, I started to say what I had in mind for the past one week.

"I-I never knew that I'd get a mate.. well a second chance mate... But I never thought I'd get what Igot. You. I was overwhelmed and confused. Sebastian.. you've just met me and I am not going tobore you with my tragic past but all I will say is that.. I don't know if i am ready. I wasn't prepared forthis to ever happen. I have shit ton of problems to sort out and I don't wanna drag you into mymess. I have issues.. bad ones, I don't know if I am ready to trust, to commit, to love or to devote.” Ishook my head looking outside and I kept my tears at bay as all the horrid things flashed throughmy mind, "You're a good man, Sebastian. You don't deserve an erastis with extra load, you deservebetter.. million times better than me" I said, my heart breaking with every word coming out of mymouth.

I felt two arms wrap around me, I leaned back to his warmth. We just stayed like that for a minute, Iheld my tears at bay. Not wanting to come off as a cry baby in front of Sebastien.

After a few more minutes he sat down beside me but still had both of his hands wrapped in mypalm. His hands fitted so perfectly against mine, "Moya lyubov', firstly I want to clarify one thing, Iam not your mate.” He said as a matter of fact, I snapped looking at him in betrayal, "Erastis is morethan just mates. Our souls were not chosen to be together by someone who doesn't even know us.We choose our own soulmates, our Erastis. And I chose you just as much you chose me. We not onlycomplete each other but fulfill each other. Erastis are not only bounded souls but bounded mind,spirit and emotions. Erastis are so much more than mates, we just not love each other, we alsorespect each other, protect each other and support each other.” He said lovingly making my heartflutter with pride and love.

"As for your comment on issues and problems, I'll spend the rest of my eternity fixing it with youthan to live with someone who is not you. I chose you, moya lyubov' my lycan chose you. Weneeded you, you complete us. And I know there is no one as perfect as you. With your feisty andcaring nature.. and let's not forget how controlling you get in the kitchen.” He said the last part in amocking way making me chuckle and hit his chest. He pulled me off my chair making me standbetween his legs as he wrapped his arms around my waist, "There is no one in the world I wantother than you" he said in all honesty.

I looked at him vulnerably, "Will you be able to handle things that comes with me?" I askeduncertain about the answer.

He looked in my eyes softly, "We will solve everything together” sincerity was clearly visible in mywords and his eyes.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and put my head on his shoulder, "Please let's take this slow" Isaid. I know if I jump into this relationship and God forbid if something goes wrong, I wouldn't beable to live with myself again. More importantly, all these years I heave learnt that taking irrationaldecision will only lead to bad road. I just wanna be sure about it.

I wouldn't say I'll make it easy for him because I will not. I will have all the wall up around my heart,and if he truly means what he says then he'll be till he broke down the last wall around my heart. Ijust wanna make sure that he believes I am worth every bit of effort.

A groan make us break, our heads snapped towards the sound. An annoyed looking Ariana stoodthere with an empty jar, "You guys are so crappy. Where are you living at 1950's?" She saidaggitatedly and went to fill up the jar with water. She let out a big yawn which scratching her butt,"Just fuck each other like rabid animals to oblivion, you'll soon be sure of your feelings after 200thearth scattering orgasms" she said and walked back upstairs muttered “old people’

I turned red in embarrassment when I heard a hearty laugh, through the laugh was like a lullaby tomy ears. The situation wasn't, "Sorry.. for that. She has no control over her mouth” I said honestlyand chuckled, God I love my sister.

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