The Howl
: Chapter 5

As I pulled into the student parking lot, I groaned at the sight of Eugene leaning against his car.

He smiled and lifted one of the cups he was holding. The gesture just made me want to shift my car into reverse and get out of there. But I couldn’t. I needed to deal with the mess I’d created.

While he’d probably told himself it was nothing more than a friendly cup of coffee, I knew better. It was a test gift. If I accepted it, he would show up with something else tomorrow. The gifts would slowly escalate in importance until he was kneeling before me with a ring.

I parked my car and got out, trying my best to look pleasant instead of upset.

“Morning,” he said. “I brought a—”

“Never give a gift to a succubus,” I said.

His welcome smile faded to confusion.

“Why?”

“Because she’ll be that much closer to owning you. If you replace yourself thinking about getting a gift for one, run, Eugene. Run far. Run fast. Lock yourself away for a few days until the urge passes. But whatever you do, don’t give a succubus a gift.”

He smiled and lifted the cup to me.

“Good thing this is only coffee. The girl at the shop swore that double chocolate with extra foam was the way to go.”

“It’s not just coffee, Eugene. It’s a gift for me. If it wasn’t meant to be special, you would have gotten one for Ashlyn, too, to thank her.”

“I bought her a soda last night. See? Not just you.”

I wished I could believe that, but the hint of earnest desperation in his eyes told me otherwise.

“Eugene, I—”

“I’ll take that,” Fenris said, reaching around me. “Eliana hates chocolate.”

My mouth dropped open, and I turned to stare at a grinning Fenris.

“Oh. Sorry about that, Eliana. I’ll bring a caramel one tomorrow if you want.”

Ignoring Fenris for a moment, I shook my head at Eugene.

“No, I don’t want any drink. I want you to see what’s happening. You have an urge to bring me something because of the pool. That’s all. You need to fight it, Eugene, or you’ll be my lapdog before you can say ‘arf.’”

Fenris started choking on his stolen drink, and I absently reached around him to whack him on the back.

“And if Adira tries sticking you in any of my classes today, refuse.”

He looked ready to object.

“You said you trusted me. Trust me now. I’m trying to keep you safe.”

Eugene nodded and started for the door.

“Arf,” Fenris said under his breath with a low chuckle that had me inhaling his scent hungrily.

As soon as Eugene reached the door, I whirled on Fenris and yanked the drink from his hand.

“You know I like chocolate.”

He grinned at me.

“No, you love chocolate. You’d probably bathe in it if you could. But, did you really want him to know that?”

I hated that Fenris was right.

“I don’t like lying.”

“You didn’t. I did. And I’m completely comfortable with embellishing the truth.”

I rolled my eyes at him and tipped the cup back. The explosion of chocolate and cream had me guzzling the contents in seconds.

“Impressive,” Fenris said. “Remind me never to get between you and chocolate again.”

“Again? You were nothing but a bystander who willingly surrendered the goods.”

A carful of his groupies pulled into the parking lot behind him, and the sudden surge of his lust hit me hard.

“I gotta go.”

I hustled for the door and kept my head down, hoping that no one would notice my eyes.

A hand closed around my arm, and I found myself spun around. Shocked, I stared up at Fenris. His normally playful gaze grew serious, and the texture of his irises claimed my attention, along with the way his pupils contracted and expanded in a quick, pulsing rhythm.

“I’m starting to feel a little paranoid,” he said.

“Huh?” My confusion robbed my hunger of its edge, and my heightened focus on his eyes vanished.

“You’re barely near me for more than a few minutes, and you run. Why?”

“I just wanted to get to class before the hallways crowd.”

“I thought you didn’t like lying, Eliana. This isn’t the first time you’ve run from me. Did I do something wrong? Kill your pet rabbit or something?”

“What? No. It’s not anything you did. It’s me. It’s always me.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I know. And I’m sorry for that, but I really need to go.”

He released my arm.

“Run then. I won’t chase you.” His cocky grin reemerged. “This time.”

Not amused by his wolf humor, I hurried away before I went full succubus on him.

In the first session, I should have been okay with his scent absent. However, I wasn’t any better. Even though there were no humans present to tempt me, I was still inhaling lungfuls of lust emanating off the troll in front of me. It didn’t taste good, but I couldn’t stop.

Second hour was worse. A giant was crushing on a druid hard. The potency and unnatural taste of her lust told me it was spell induced. My hunger didn’t care. It wanted to be fed.

Fine trembles coursed through me from head to toe. A girl to my right noticed and giggled. Jenna, one of Fenris’s devoted females, leaned forward in her seat behind me.

“You okay?” she asked softly,

I wanted to be, but I knew I wasn’t. My time was up. I’d held out as long as I could. I needed to feed.

Instead of answering her, I walked out of the room.

The ability to leave whenever we wanted was one of the few perks of Girderon Academy. That and being able to make up any missed work online. Not that many of my classmates chose to leave once they decided to attend.

Graduating Girderon was our ticket out of Uttira. And it wasn’t just passing grades that were required in order to graduate. Each and every one of us would need the Council’s approval, which was heavily based on Adira’s assessment. I would be at Girderon until I was fifty at the rate I was going.

As soon as I opened the kitchen door to the Quills’ house, I paused and tried to calm my shaking. One breath after another, I focused on my dad. The memory of his smiling face. The memory of his laugh. The haunted look that crept into his eyes at any reminder of my mother. The way he would cry in his sleep.

It took about five minutes to get myself under control. I pressed the button on the intercom in the kitchen.

“Mrs. Quill, would you meet me in the living room?”

My voice echoed throughout the house. Without waiting for an answer, I headed for the seldom-used room.

Mrs. Quill was just turning on the television when I entered. Her concerned gaze swept over me, and she held out her hand.

Reluctantly, I took it. I didn’t need to touch to feed. In fact, I preferred not to. However, Mrs. Quill insisted. She said she didn’t want me to ever think what she did was with any detachment. She did what she did because she loved me as much as she would love a daughter, and she wanted me to feel that love every moment we spent in this dumb room.

I sat beside her as the image of her and Mr. Quill appeared on the screen. The first time we’d done this, I’d been terrified that she was going to show me a bedroom home video. It wasn’t ever anything like that, thankfully. This time, it was a video from her perspective, flying on Mr. Quill’s back. I could hear the joy in her laughter as he dipped suddenly then launched upward again to soar through some clouds.

“I love you, Lander,” she said in the video. “You are my everything.”

He cried out sharply then dived again.

The video looped back to where it started and played again. Mrs. Quill’s lust, a subtle, steady energy, called to me. Without turning toward her, I opened my mouth and pulled it into me. My shaking eased with the first swallow. The hunger demanded so much more. I only allowed myself five pulls, though. The sweetness of what she felt for Mr. Quill settled into my belly. With their love filling me, I closed my mouth and released her hand.

“Thank you,” I said.

“Eliana, that wasn’t enough,” she said with concern.

“For me, it is.”

I left the room quickly. She didn’t try to stop me.

Locked in my bathroom, I stripped and got into the shower, not bothering to let it warm. There, I curled into a ball and quietly cried, cursing the gods for making me into the monster I was. It didn’t matter that Mrs. Quill was immune to my abilities because of what she was and her bond with Mr. Quill. What did matter was the fact that I would ruin anyone else I fed on.

Like my mom had ruined my dad. My heart ached for him and all that he had suffered. All that he still suffered. I remembered the day Mom showed up at our door to take me back. Dad had taken one look at her and had fallen to his knees. The things he’d said…begged to do to her…still made me flush. The deeply religious man who’d raised me had vanished between one heartbeat and the next.

Mom had laid a gentle hand on his head and told me to pack my bags quickly. I could still picture them like that. Her standing over him as he slumped forward on his knees, his hands clutching her glittery skirt. But mostly, I remembered how my mom had so calmly told me that the longer we lingered, the more he would suffer.

She’d been wrong. It hadn’t been the time I’d taken to pack that caused his suffering but how long she’d stayed with him in the first place.

I wiped the tears from my eyes and turned off the water. I couldn’t change the past or what I was. But I could choose how to live, and I refused to be like my mother.

I smoothed my hands over my dress. The T-shirt under the strappy dress made me look like an ill-dressed orphan. I hated looking that way but refused to wear anything more revealing on a feeding day.

Adira wouldn’t like it, but hopefully, whatever had distracted her enough today to keep her from appearing and teleporting me back to school would also keep her equally preoccupied during dinner so she wouldn’t notice.

My phone rang just as I started for the bedroom door, and I paused to answer it.

“Where’s the seventies porn background music?” Megan asked.

“What? Ew! Why would you say that?”

She laughed.

“I figured Adira would have converted you by now.”

“She’s been surprisingly quiet today.”

Megan made a non-committal noise.

“So, I have some interesting news,” she said.

“You solved the case?”

“No, I saw my mom today,” she said.

Megan’s estranged mother had left Megan in Uttira with no information about who or what she was. While Megan had found her mom’s phone number just before leaving for New York, her mom had been less than helpful, yet again. She hadn’t cared that Megan’s powers were going haywire. She’d refused to talk to her about any of it when Megan had called.

“No way. Did she tell you what’s going on?” I asked.

“Yep. Apparently, Oanen and I can’t be together because griffins have boy baby chickens and furies have girls with anger issues. According to her, we won’t mix.”

My mouth dropped open for a second, and I felt so angry on Megan’s behalf. Her mom wasn’t very nice. Couldn’t she see her daughter needed her?

“While she might be right about the past,” I said, “who’s to say what will happen with you and Oanen? I don’t think a griffin and fury pairing has ever been done before. At least not in written history.”

“I just wish she didn’t try so hard to be a pain in my ass, you know?”

I did know, and I wished my friend was close enough for a hug so I could relieve her of the negative emotions she carried.

“I’m sorry it wasn’t a pleasant reunion,” I said instead.

“It wasn’t as bad as it could have been, I guess. She looked exactly the same. But, this time when I saw her, I realized just how much I didn’t know about her, other than her taste in men. Back then, I thought she was just a regular, human gold digger, you know?”

Her impression hit a little too close to home.

“My mom’s motto is usually the richer, the better,” I said.

“Usually?”

“Apparently, my dad was an exception.” My old resentment resurfaced. “His devotion tasted sweeter because it had never been given to any mortal before. Only to one of the gods.”

“Hey. I didn’t mean to bring you down. Let’s talk about something else. Anything interesting happen at the Academy today?”

“Not really. I better go. It’s just about dinner time. If I get to the dining room first, I can be sitting before Adira arrives.”

“Um?”

“She won’t notice my dress enough to make me change.”

“Ah. Okay. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

I hung up, feeling guilty that I hadn’t been more of a consoling friend. It was hard, though. In a way, I wished my mom was more like Megan’s. Instead, she called often and always wanted to talk about how my skills were progressing. She would have loved to have a house in Uttira where she could have guided me herself.

Thank the gods for Oanen, though. He’d taken one look at twelve-year-old me, dressed in hooker heels, side slit dress, and with enough makeup to paint a trio of circus clowns, and invited us to dinner. Mom had accepted, thinking he’d be a perfect conquest for me. Instead, she left me in the Quills’ care that night.

I shuddered to think what I would have become without Oanen’s brotherly protection that day and every day for the subsequent four years. I would have been a destroyer of men—and women—just like my mom.

Staring at my phone, I thought of my dad again. Before I could stop myself, I was scrolling through my short list of contacts and calling him.

“Hello? Eliana?” he answered almost right away.

“Hi, Daddy.”

“Baby, is your mom there? I need to talk to her.”

My eyes began to water.

“She’s not here, Daddy, remember? I live with another family in Maine.”

“That’s not right. You should come home to me. I miss you. There’s room for your mom, too. You should tell her. We can be a family again. I’d lick her until—”

“Daddy, I have to go. I just wanted to let you know that I will never stop loving you, and I think of you every day.”

I hung up before he could say anything else. Mom warned me not to call him. My voice was just a reminder of what he wanted most. Her. But I couldn’t just cut him out of my life as easily as she had.

I would never be that heartless and cold. I’d rather die of starvation than to accidentally make a sex slave.

Feeling sick at the thought, I went downstairs and sat at the dining room table. I knew I’d timed it well when dishes started appearing on the polished surface. Mrs. Quill emerged from the kitchen a moment later and smiled when she saw me.

“How are you feeling?” she asked.

“Rested. I’d like to say content, too, but I miss Megan too much for that. Are they getting any closer to solving the mysterious troll deaths?”

“They’re following some leads. Hopefully, we’ll know more soon.”

“I know you miss Megan and Oanen, but don’t forget you have other friends,” Adira said, appearing suddenly. “I think it’s time you make an appearance at the Roost, don’t you? There’s no reason not to practice now that you’re well-fed.”

Why did we have to play the same game every night? I was so tired of the constant attack. Why couldn’t she just let me be who I wanted to be instead of trying to get me to admit to this all-consuming hunger that continually gripped me by my backbone?

“The Roost sounds great,” I said with a sweet smile. “Music and frivolous conversation are just what I need after missing almost a whole day at school. Human guardians have their priorities so backward.”

Adira studied me for a moment.

“You seem upset.”

The urge to bang my head on the table was almost superseded by my desire to snap at her that I was tired of being told what to do and when to do it. Instead of doing either, I stood.

“I think I’ll skip dinner and go straight to the Roost. How long should I stay there to sufficiently ease your worried mind?”

“How long you spend there doesn’t matter, Eliana,” Adira said smoothly. “It’s how you spend your time that matters.”

“Right. Socializing, because you’re concerned that I’ve formed too much of an attachment to Megan and Oanen.”

We both knew that wasn’t her primary concern. She wanted me to be a man-eating ho that fed on anything with three “legs.” I flushed with embarrassment and anger at the thought.

Without waiting for her reply, I went to change then left the house. The drive to the Roost took longer than necessary because I went to Megan’s house first and replaced the bowl of milk, oats, and honey with a fresh batch.

I was more than a little tempted to just sit there and watch TV instead of doing as I said I would. But, I knew that word would get back to Adira if I didn’t show up at the Roost. So, to keep the fragile peace I clung to in my life, I left.

The Roost’s neon sign on the roof lit the sidewalk in a wash of color. As soon as I shimmied from my car, the heavy beat of music reached my ears. I secretly loved the Roost, the only gathering spot for Uttira teens. I loved the music. The atmosphere. Watching all the people. If it weren’t for what I was, I would have been there all the time to dance the night away. However, as a succubus, there were too many elements at the Roost to stir my hunger.

Pushing open the red double doors, I took in the large crowd. The cold, winter air from outside drew the notice of more than a few of the outlying dancers. I tried not to pay attention to their stares or tug at the hemline of my mini sheath with a scooped neckline.

As usual, the humans were gathered at a back table. Thankfully, Eugene wasn’t amongst them. Skirting the crowd, I started for Ashlyn, Zoey, and Kelsey.

“Hey, girls,” I said, sliding onto the bench seat next to Kelsey.

Ashlyn looked up from her book to smile at me, but the other two remained focused on their pages.

“How’s it going?” I asked.

“Good. Eras came over and tried to influence Zoey again, but it didn’t work. They’re almost ready to do this solo.”

“The Council isn’t still making you work shifts here, are they? This is just supposed to be for learning. Megan—”

Ashlyn’s hand covered mine. A jolt ran through me, and I quickly withdrew my hand.

“Sorry,” she said.

“It’s okay.”

“The Council isn’t forcing shifts. Coming here and going to the Academy isn’t just something for us to do. It’s a way for us to integrate. To change mindsets. Hiding in our houses won’t do that.”

She had a point.

“Is it dangerous to touch you?” Zoey asked.

“Zoey!” Kelsey said, scolding her sister.

“What? I didn’t look up or make eye contact, and we’ve talked to her before.”

“To be safe, you should always consider it dangerous to touch anyone who’s not human,” Ashlyn said with an apologetic smile to me.

“Ashlyn’s right. While I wouldn’t want to hurt you, if I’m hungry enough I might not be able to stop myself,” I admitted.

“And touching would trigger your hunger?” Zoey asked.

“No,” I said. “Touching is a way for me to get to you. Like eye contact.”

“Oh.”

Poor Zoey had learned the hard way that she could fall under an incubus’s influence because of eye contact. The unwanted make out session that had ensued had left her feeling shaken and violated. It didn’t matter that it hadn’t progressed further than public kissing, something my kind wouldn’t even bat an eye at. Except, it was for me, which was why it was one of the many items on Adira’s checklist for me that I’d yet to accomplish.

“Any word from Megan?” Ashlyn asked, changing the subject.

“Nothing significant. Just that she and Oanen are still in New York and on the case. I’m worried about them.”

Ashlyn nodded.

“My uncle told me he’d once witnessed a troll smile. He told me to run if I ever saw the same because whatever made a troll happy wouldn’t make me happy.”

She looked down at her book again. This time, I was the one to reach out. I could feel the dark energy of her pain. She still grieved for her uncle and the loss of the only family she’d known. Hating to see her suffer, I parted my lips slightly and pulled the darkness into me. Non-sexual energy wouldn’t nourish me, but removing it would help her.

She sighed and squeezed my hand.

“Thank you for being a friend,” she said. “You don’t know how much that means to me.”

I thought of Megan and what she meant to me and returned Ashlyn’s squeeze.

“I think I might. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to dance for two seconds so I can go home.”

“Two seconds?” Eugene said from beside me. “We can do better than that.”

I gave Ashlyn a pointed look.

“It was the pool,” I said.

“I’ve got him. You go.” She looked at Eugene as I fled my seat. “Sit down, lover boy. We need to talk.”

I hoped she’d be able to get through to him.

Hurrying away, I joined the fringe of the dancers in the center space, making sure to stay out of Eugene’s direct line of sight and let myself sway to the music. Megan had once teased me that I had killer moves. She couldn’t have been more right. My grace was part of who I was, a lure to pull in prey, which is why I didn’t let the music consume me. But I wished I could. As strong as the way I moved called to others, the music called to me. It wasn’t because of the Siren’s hypnotic song. It was the joy I felt when dancing.

I lifted my arms and turned slowly, swaying as I moved.

A hand closed over mine. Another touched my side.

The scent of lust hit me hard, and I knew my eyes had gone black the moment I opened them.

“Hey, beautiful, I’ve been dreaming of doing this all day.”

The mutt dipped me low, his body arching over mine so close I could feel his breath on my neck.

I trembled in Fenris’s arms, torn between the need to slap the smile from his face and the need to devour him whole.