The Hunt For Immortal Love
Chapter 143 Before I Die

There is a great fear on the face of my beloved. The very words of the Doctor send a tremor through my body. We have been told by Morgana that there shall be difficulty with the child, but does the Doctor bring the same news as what Morgana told. Do I even ask?

So I refrain from saying a word at the very moment and wait for the Doctor to speak.

"Sebastian, now I do understand that both Anastasia and you are Vampires, and by all truths, Anastasia should not be able to bear a child. Now what you also know is that a Vampire's body, as I understand, is frozen in time." With a brief moment, a smile appears on my broken face; his knowledge of our kind is rather intriguing, but that is not a question to ask at the current moment, so I only but nod and speak, "You are indeed correct that our bodies should be frozen in time."

"And," he adds, "The organs that make you tick forward inside your body should in fact not perform. Now, something must have happened when Anastasia was briefly human. All in her body returned to its way before, yet her womb stayed alive."

"Yes, Doctor. That is what we have been told. Now, what is this problem?"

"First, Anastasia shall not be able to give normal childbirth. And," he hesitates for but a few brief moments. "As Anastasia is a Vampire, we shall not be able to put her under when we need to, well for all purposes, I shall say, cut her open. The pain shall both be unbearable, but she or the child or even both shall not survive."

And just as we were told, Morgana has, in fact, told the truth. Where does this leave us? Can both Morgana and the Doctor be wrong? Well, I would love to believe so, and what I also believe is that there is always another option. But the Doctor is not yet done.

"Also, Sebastian, the child is set to be born within the next five days, if not even sooner. I do not know what you wish to do."

"Well, what are you saying, Doctor?"

"I need you to consider the consequences."

"There is nothing to consider, my beloved has come back from far worse, and I know deep within me that she and the child will survive. There is another way. There always is another way. I beg of you to replace one, for I shall not rest for the next five days until I have found one."

"I understand, Sebastian."

"No, in fact, you don't; being a Vampire does not mean that she should be treated any differently. I shall lay waste to all that is you if I should replace that you are not willing to help her because of who and most importantly, what she is." "That is not the case, my friend; I am stating the medical facts to you. If you can replace me something that is strong enough to put Anastasia under and, god do I even dare to say, a blood source to keep her alive, then we can save them."

"Why can you not just go to the blood bank?"

"You are surely not suggesting I steal blood."

"Well, Doctor, if you are not willing to, then I will, unless if you want a mortal that is alive next to her bed."

"God no, do what you need to do. You have five days."

With that, we leave the Doctor's room rather defeated. It seems easier said than done. Where do I replace that one thing, that miracle that shall save my beloved?

Where do I replace not one but two miracles?

My beloved, my wife, my life partner, and the mother of my child might die.

I would love to believe that I am doing fine, but my heart has now, in fact, seized to exist. I cannot bear the pain anymore. It has been suffocated to such a brink that it is only but lying like a dormant vessel in my body, one I can by all honesty say, I do not wish to revive.

What has revived itself with a newfound urgency is the rate that the bleeding irises replace themselves watering up with tears every day. I am trying to stay strong for Anastasia, but most of all, I am trying to remain strong for the small little person that will make his way into our lives in a little less than five days.

And as with so many nights now, while she is resting, I am sitting here in the dark with the only reminder of what is really real about our lives in my hand now. A small black and white photo of an angel growing in a precious mother's womb. Protected and safe. But do I even wish to say for how long? But I cannot dwell on the bad side of what-ifs.

Another what-if is what I found underneath her pillow as I was checking up on her a few moments ago. As she calls it, a 'note before I die.' Reading every bit of this rips my heart to pieces. ...Anastasia POV...

"It's a strange thing to realize and accept. It's just one of those things you ignore. The days tick by, and you just expect they will keep on coming; until the unexpected happens. I always imagined myself growing old, wrinkled, and grey, most likely caused by the beautiful family I planned on building with the love of my life. I want that so bad it hurts. But then I met you, and I wanted to be a Vampire even more. I wanted to live for all eternity.

But that's the thing about life; It is fragile, precious, and unpredictable, and each day is a gift, not a given right.

I don't want to go. I love my life. I am happy; I owe that to you. But the control is out of my hands.

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I haven't started this 'note before I die' so that death is feared; I like the fact that we are mostly ignorant, for we are Vampires, and that it should never happen. It has been a bit tough.

I just want you to stop worrying so much about the small, meaningless stresses in life and try to remember that we all have the same fate after it all, mortal and immortal, so do what you can to make your time feel worthy and great.

I have dropped lots of my thoughts below as I have had a lot of time to ponder life these last few days. Of course, it's the middle of the night when these random things pop in my head most!

Those times you are whinging about a ridiculous thing, something I have noticed so much these past few months, just think about someone who is really facing a problem. Be grateful for your minor issue and get over it. It's okay to acknowledge that something is annoying but try not to carry on about it and negatively effect other people's days.

Once you do that, get out there in that fresh air. Look at how blue the sky is and how green the trees are; It is so beautiful. Think how lucky you are to be able to do just that, just be alive.

Let all that shit go. I swear you will not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go. It is all so insignificant when you look at life as a whole. I'm watching my body waste away right before my eyes with nothing I can do about it, and all I wish for now is that I could have just one more day with you. Just one more.

I tried to live a healthy life; in fact, that was probably my major passion. Appreciate your good health and the parts of your functioning body. Look after it and embrace how amazing it is. Move it and nourish it with fresh food. Don't obsess over

it.

Be grateful for each day.

Whinge less. And help each other more.

Give, give, give. It is true that you gain more happiness doing things for others than doing them for yourself. I wish I did this more. More than I could ever get return.

Value other people's time. Don't keep them waiting because you are shit at being on time. Get ready earlier if you are one of those people and appreciate that your friends want to share their time with you, not sit by themselves, waiting on a mate. You will gain respect too!

Use your money on experiences. Or at least don't miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material shit.

Put in the effort to make that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with saltwater.

Get amongst nature.

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Try just enjoying and being in moments rather than capturing them through the screen of your phone. Life isn't meant to be lived through a screen, nor is it about getting the perfect photo, enjoy the moment! Stop trying to capture it for everyone else.

Get out early sometimes and listen to the birds while you watch the beautiful colors the sun makes as it rises.

Listen to music, really listen.

Cuddle your dog.

Talk to your friends.

Travel if it's your desire.

Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy.

Say no to things you really don't want to do.

Don't feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life; you might want a mediocre life, and that is so okay.

Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have.

Also, remember, if something is making you miserable, you do have the power to change it - in work or love or whatever it may be. Have the guts to change. You don't know how much time you've got on this earth, so don't waste it being miserable. I know that is said all the time, but it couldn't be more true.

Anyway, that's just this my life advice, advice from someone that is facing death in the eye.

'Til we meet again."

...Sebastian POV...

I tuck the letter deep away in my pocket and sneak out of the room to go replace Edward. As per usual, I replace him in the kitchen. He need not have to ask the question, for he can see the look on my face. "My dear Sebastian, where are we going?"