The King’s Tainted Mate
Chapter 49

There are many reasons why one would not feel their connection to their own family, Shyla. Liira had kept insisting, but no matter how much she did that, for me, those many reasons only came down to two.

It was either I was indeed my father and mother's child or I wasn't. And I had never before wished for two conflicting statements to be true. I'd thought that perhaps then, some of my own heartache would be quelled. It was not as simple as that however. On one hand, hoping I was not their child, would ease the heartache of being abandoned so easily and it wouldn't sting so much. But that would force me to face the reality of never having been wanted by my own birth family. Either truth spoke of my own loss that would eventually crush my soul.

I slumped on my bed, my legs giving up for the umpteenth time today. It was time to leave. To face the dreaded truth. What had began as mere thoughts had placed me on a path to face my past once again.

Ever since I'd woken up in Gol's shack, my mother's and father's faces were not sights I had desired to gaze upon. Without a conscious effort on my part, I had decided I wished not to see them. But as always, fate found a way yet again to force me to do that which I did not wish to do.

Knowing everyone awaited my presence, I had meant to step out of my chambers, but my legs simply refused to work. The lump in my throat would not ease up either as fear clutched tightly to my insides. What would I say to them? Would greeting my own mother in any other way apart from the usual warm embrace feel different? Would I cry, would they? Would father call me by the name that only he used? What would they say to me? Would we talk at all?

Tears spilled as I realized that no matter what today brought, what their answer would be, that loving relationship we shared was long gone. Gone with the Shyla that had braved the waters of the Devil's river. Their bright light had been snuffed out while I was swallowed up down in the deep. And before I knew it, loud sobs escaped my mouth. Ugly tears accompanying the rips forming in my heart.

I did not care for who would be witness to the shedding of my sorrow. I simply cried. For how long, even I could not tell. It would take the faintest of knocks to draw my attention and make me realize that my sobbing had ceased.

"My lady... I hate to intrude but we do need to leave." Astryn mumbled softly from behind my chamber's doors and I knew I couldn't stall any longer.

"Of course." My voice was barely a whisper as I wiped at my face. Even when I knew it was futile to attempt to hide the evidence of my sorrow.

Another soft knock and I asked her to enter. I willed myself to get up before she did. My legs trembled, I couldn't bring my hands to stop shaking and then I beheld him. Instead of Astryn, My mate slipped through the barely open doors. Standing in all his majestic glory and even though he bore a somewhat painful look on his face, his mere presence did something for my battered soul.

"You came?" I did not expect him to. At the very least, I had expected to be accompanied by Carlytte and the other maidens. Gol too, but not him.

"I couldn't let you do this alone." His hand came up to my face, but stopped shy of cupping my cheek. "If you'll let me, I would be honoured to stand by your side."He did not need to ask and I wondered what prompted him to. His eyes gave nothing away too. "Please."

I nodded. "There is no one else I'd wish to have by my side." That was the truth. Despite everything, his was the presence that was perfectly suited. If not for anything else, then for the bond that existed between us. I knew he could comfort me in ways no one could. With no more words spoken, he held out his hand and once I slipped mine in, he led us out of my chambers.

His scent was everything I needed. The trembling in my legs faded with each step and every deep inhale of his wine scent. The soothing circular patterns he drew where his other hand rested on mine worked wonders too and by the time we stepped outside, I felt more of myself than the emotional wreck I had been in my chambers.

"We are riding?" Eyes wide, I stared at the royal carriage that was stationed outside the palace doors. "How big is the palace that we have to ride to see my parents?"

"It is because they do not reside in the palace."

"They don't?!" I couldn't hide my surprise as I found his words extremely weird. They'd abandoned me, I could not argue with that, but Myrna? Why would they stay apart? "Why not?"

"It was your sister's choice...their choice?" He shrugged his shoulders in the strangest manner. Or perhaps it was because I had not seen him so unsure of himself before. "I am not entirely sure whose choice it was."

"Oh..." Deciding it was a question only my parents or Myrna could answer I dropped it and followed his lead towards the carriage.

"My lady." Rakon noded and I acknowledged his greeting with a well practiced nod, courtesy of Liira. I'd never noticed before, but with that I noted that the matriarch's lessons were slowly becoming a part of me. Something I knew Liira would be proud of.

The ride was quiet with me sitting opposite my mate. I would have thought he preffered this type of sitting arrangement because he wished to watch me. I was wrong. His eyes were anywhere but on me. Probably his every focus was on whatever occupied his mind that he seemed to have gotten lost in. I was not complaining, however, as it gave me chance to watch him instead which was the perfect distraction from the nerves that were demanding for my attention the closer we drew to our destination. The sight of him this close left me frowning. For a wolf, he seemed to have aged a century from the last time I saw him. He was burdened with something and I wished to ask how he was doing, but for whatever reason those words couldn't leave my mouth. So I settled with guessing.

My mind thought back to everything I'd observed around the palace. The blood I'd smelled on him in the royal gallery. Even though he'd dismissed my concerns as nothing, the sight of him made me realize that it was far from nothing. Was it an enemy in the castle? A war or something close? When was the last time he'd slept?

"I'm sorry what?" His question jolted me from my thoughts. It turned out that I had spoken my thoughts aloud. I was about to deny what he'd heard but decided against it.

I straightened up. "When was the last time you slept?"

"Last nig-" He paused, mind seemingly searching. "I uh...two- no, three... Perhaps-"

"You have not slept at all?" I couldn't help my scolding tone to which he only shrugged his shoulders.

"I have been busy."

"Too busy to take care of yourself? What in God's name is going on?"

"It's nothing for you to worry about."

I scoffed. "Doesn't seem like it to me." It was my turn to stare out of the carriage's small window. If he did not care enough to share, I wouldn't care either. Oh so I tried to convince myself. "Nothing!" I huffed under my breath barely moments after deciding I did not "We are here." The carriage stopped and dread instantly overtook me. But thanks to warm hands that covered mine just as quickly, I found my breath.

care.

I looked up. "Thank you."

"Come." He stepped out first.

"Your majesty! Welcome." My father's happy tone pierced my broken heart. They were happy. Even in my absence they'd still remained happy. In a way I had known they'd gone ahead with their lives without me, but to see it for myself... Suddenly I was not so sure I wished to be here. Deep down I had hoped it was not true. That I had been mistaken, but as my parent's scent assaulted my senses, my hope was shattered anew. It was as distinct as Myrna's, but it meant nothing to me.