The Legend of William Oh
Chapter 27: Fame Attracts Crazy

William Oh once faced down an entire army of Climbers: Tens of thousands of young, ambitious Climbers eager to test their Abilities against the paragon of their generation. As one, they charged him from every direction, riding a wave of fancy Abilities with the intent of subduing him through sheer numbers.

William Oh merely sneezed, and a quarter of them were flung into the far reaches of the Floor.

The rest did not fare well, either.

• Jason Salazar

Naturally, Will was the next closest target.

The Boss rebounded off vapor and rocketed towards him at a speed that defied comprehension.

Will shoved the flat blade of the tomahawk towards the hare’s mouth, causing the blast of unnaturally cold ice vapor to skew off to the side.

It still got some of his arm, causing shooting pain before a worrying numbness spread from the rapidly growing ice crystals.

He was still limber enough to duck low, allowing the hare to fly over him, its feet passing through the spot where Will’s head had been.

JINGLE!

An annoying jingle sounded directly behind Will as someone stepped between him and the hare on the rebound.

Will rolled and turned to see a Climber wielding what looked like a riding crop mixed with a sword-catcher in one hand, and a short sword in the other.

“Look at this, a bouncing baby bunny.” The Climber said, waggling the colorful tassels and bells at the end of the whip in the Sky hare’s face. “You wanna play, little guy?”

Will could feel a Charge emanating from the Climber as he provoked the Sky Hare.

The boss snarled and switched targets, giving Will the opportunity to regain his stance.

The Climber performed a delicate move, trying to use the tassels on his off-hand to conceal a stab, sliding the sword fluidly past the tip of the whip as the boss charged him.

The move was graceful and deadly, almost dancing, but unfortunately the boss was faster than the Climber had bargained for, dodging around the strike and covering half the Climber’s body in hoarfrost.

Will lunged forward and kicked the back of the Climber’s knee, dropping his head out of the way of the Sky hare’s trajectory, whipping the Tomahawk through the spot at the same time.

The Boss caught the strike on a hind limb, nearly severing it entirely.

Will turned to catch the Boss with a coup de grace when another hare jumped up into his face, forcing him to abandon his plan and decapitate the flying rodent instead.

“Mine!” A girl about Will’s age dove forward, fiery claws springing from her ring, swinging them down at the Boss.

The Boss dodged aside, still quick despite one of its legs being ruined, blasting the girl in the face with a blast of superchilled air.

Will saw a flicker of something form in front of her face in the instant before she began reeling backwards, flailing wildly, her flaming claws blinking out.

Will lunged forward and struck at the boss Sky Hare with his tomahawk before it could finish the job.

The boss struck the blade with its foreclaws, turning the weapon sideways at the last instant, causing the attack to hit with the flat of the blade, sending the boss creature tumbling.

Jingle Jingle!

“heeeere, bunny, bunny, bunny,” The one with the annoying weapon said, jangling the bells irritatingly.

Will wanted to walk up and shove the idiot the more he looked at him, until he realized it was an Ability. Some kind of Taunt effect. Will averted his gaze, and the desire to punch the guy’s face was drastically lessened.

Almost completely gone.

“Two steps back, Jangles,” Loth said, tapping the taunter on the back.

The taunter took two steps back as the Boss charged, and a snare whipped up into the air in front of him, snagging the flightly creature out of the air and dragging it to the ground with explosive force.

The taunter and the claw-girl lunged forward and stabbed the hare in unison, putting the boss out of the fight.

“Wow, you’re really fast,” The Taunter said to…the claw girl?

What the…

“You too,” she said, looking up at him with round eyes.

“Are you in a Party yet?”

“I’m between Parties. You?”

“Did you miss me saving both of you?” Will asked as they sank into their own little world. Half of him was irritated his contribution was being ignored, and the other half was irritated the Taunter somehow had the girl’s complete attention despite being a screw-up.

It wasn’t logical.

“Yeah, but you’re old, so it doesn’t matter if you’re fast.” Taunter said.

“Say that to my face,” Will said, tilting up his mask.

The girl’s eyes widened and she glanced down to the gauntlet hanging slack on his left arm.

“Wait a second. Are you William Oh? The William Oh?” She asked.

“Shit.” Will slapped the mask back down. “No. I’m old. Just a level thirty slumming it on the second Floor.”

“Who’s William Oh?” The Taunter asked.

“He’s this famous noob with one hand and a tomahawk. There’re stories about him in every inn and rest stop all around the tower.”

“Oh! I never heard his name, but I did hear some stories about a one-armed noob.” The Taunter said as he approached. He had black hair shorn close to his scalp, brown eyes, and a crooked nose.

“Hi, I’m Carrie,” she said, grabbing his hand and shaking it over-enthusiastically. She had short, frizzy brown hair and crooked teeth. “Is it true you don’t blink? What’s your build that lets you fight with one hand? You’re missing out on two slots!”

“Well, I mean, how can you be sure he only has one hand? What if I do this-“ Taunter lazily whipped his sword forward.

Will tugged his hand out of Carrie’s Grip, but the girl didn’t let go. Will caught a mischievous grin as she anchored him in place.

Shit. Will lunged toward Taunter, coming inside the man’s range and headbutting his wrist before lashing out with his leg, causing the Taunter to topple to the ground. A blur of motion caught his eye as Carrie had released his hand and pulled out her claws out again, aiming for his leg while he was completely off balance.

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

Will released a stored bullet from the Phantom Hand in front of her attack, causing her to reel backwards before she burned herself on the tracer of fire hanging in front of his leg.

Will swerved the Phantom Hand and released another bullet at her side while he regained his balance. He saw her claws flicker out, dimming before something moved at lightning speed over to her chest piece, causing the Relic to glow before a tiny patch of iridescent black armor appeared directly in front of the bullet.

“Ah! Where did that-“ She stumbled sideways, her footwork suffering as she tried to dodge around the glowing curtain between the two of them.

Will shot another round at her chest while swinging a punch at her face.

The tiny piece of armor shifted to block the more deadly projectile and Will’s punch sailed through, causing Carrie to stumble backwards, blood shooting out of her nose.

“Poor William Oh. Wanted a hand, but no.”

Something clicked in Will, and he knew he had to punch this guy.

Will turned and charged.

Taunter was in a peculiar stance with the length of his short sword tucked directly underneath the riding crop, tip hidden in the tassels like a predator hiding from its prey in long grass.

Amulet of the home field advantage.

6/18 Charges Remaining.

The ground under the two of them became a perfectly smooth sheet of ice. Will was pleased to note that the altered landscape moved with him as the center of the effect.

Taunter shifted his weight to perform a perfect counter-attack to Will’s charge, when his feet slipped out from under him. For an instant, the taunter was horizontal, his eyes as big as those doilies old ladies use to hold their drinks as he fell.

Will punched him in the face.

Or, he tried.

Jangle Jangle!

The tassels and bells filled his entire world as the Taunter thrust the whip into his face.

Will couldn’t see or hear anything else.

On instinct, he swept the gauntlet through the spot where he’d last seen the shortsword.

There was a sensation of metal on metal as the nonmagical gauntlet strapped to his stump deflected a stab away from his leg.

Will guessed where Taunter’s face would be. Since he was still falling, he couldn’t dodge, so he’d be…Will lunged forward with an extended knee. There.

Crack! Will’s knee met something distinctly skull-like with a satisfying impact.

The tassels stopped flooding his senses as Taunter hit the ground and went spinning into the distance, sliding away on the zero-friction surface.

“Did you two want to keep going?” Will asked as the two Climbers rose to their feet, groaning. “Because I can always tag in the rest of my Party.”

Loth nodded, his hand near his satchel of trap supplies.

“That was awesome!” Carrie said, holding her nose shut. “Where did those shots even come from?”

“How many Abilities do you have?” Taunter asked, holding a piece of ice to his eye.

“A few,” Will admitted. Sure, most of them were from his equipment, but that went for everyone.

“I’m Travis.” The Taunter said, putting away his weapons and gingerly crossing the ice before offering Will his hand.

Will cocked his head, looking down at the offered hand suspiciously.

“What?” Travis asked, glancing down at his hand. “We’re done. I’m not going to attack you any more, I just wanted to see how good you were.”

“And attacking people without warning is…normal?” Loth asked.

“What? That was just a spar. Spaaar. Totally normal.” Carrie said, waving off the kobold’s concern.

Will and Loth’s gaze met. Will shrugged.

“I’m a Master Decoy.” Travis said, drawing Will’s attention back to him. “I’ve got taunts and a passive based on the number of enemies I’m fighting. This here’s The Irritating Whip. Tilts people and boosts Charm abilities.” He motioned to the colorful riding crop. “I’ve got an attack speed ring and an amulet that boosts my off-hand strength. Makes it easier to block and disarm with the whip.”

“You need better footing.” Will said.

“Yes, I just noticed that.” Travis admitted.

“I’m an Eldritch Fashionista.” Carrie said, arriving beside them and raising her hand. “This is Summer. Say hi, Summer.”

The Relic on Carrie’s hand glowed for a moment as the black thing flitted over to it. Then the iridescent black glob emerged from the ring and wiggled at them.

It was covered in burning red lines that seemed to extend from the ring itself, almost like roots extending into the ring.

“She adopts the properties of the Relic she’s parasitizing. This ring adds fire damage to attacks, so she can turn into burning claws.”

“And she can defend autonomously.” Loth mused. “…means ‘by itself’,” He said before Will could ask.

“Well just say that, then.” Will muttered.

“Wow!” Travis said, eyes wide. “That’s gotta be a Rare Class.”

Decoy was a rare Class too, as far as Will knew, but only because they usually died real quick.

“You betcha.” Carrie said, looking pleased with herself. “She’s just a baby right now. One day I’ll ride her around. I’ve got a fire ring, some enhanced armor, a fire resist amulet, resistance pants, charging boots.”

“Why didn’t you charge?” Will asked. He didn’t remember her using any enhanced speed or anything.

Her eyes widened.

“I need more Kinesthetics.”

“Mmm.” Will nodded in agreement. Kinesthetics helped use Abilities fluidly.

“Anyway, my primaries gave me Summer, and a Teamwork passive. No active Abilities yet.” Carrie said.

“…So what’s your Class?” Travis asked.

Will nearly recoiled at the wide-eyed pair looking at him with innocent awe.

“Resourceful Climber.” Will admitted. “I climb good. My primaries are a passive that improves footing, and an Ability that lets me shoot items directly from anything I’m carrying.” Will omitted a few details, patting the bag of bullets on his hip.

No reason to tell them everything when they attacked people for fun.

“Ah, that’s why you’re Resourceful. You don’t even need the hand to attack. That’s cool! And the synergy with that sheet of ice was just MM!” Carrie smiled through the sheet of blood running down her chin. “You just kneed him right in the face! BAM!”

“Yes, I was there,” Travis said, his eye already swelling from the aforementioned kneeing. “So you basically just pull your opponents into disadvantageous terrain and capitalize on it?

“Basically.” Will said.

“Effective.”

Will grunted in agreement.

“So, do you need any more Party members?” Carrie asked, pursing her lips.

While Will did need more Party members, he didn’t really want to add people who randomly attacked him because he was getting famous, even if it was a misguided attempt at an audition.

“Nope.” Will said.

“Yes.” Loth said at the same time.

Will glanced over at Loth, who shrugged.

“Look, I’m not going to invite you to my Party right this moment because you attacked without warning, which for me is a bit of a red flag. People don’t just attack each other where I’m from. But stick around for a while and prove you’re not crazy and I’ll consider it.”

“Awesome,” Carrie said, giving a blood-soaked grin and pumping her fist. “Totally not crazy, so I’ve got this in the bag.”

She punctuated that statement by spitting out some blood.

“Nice.” Travis said, nodding. “Also, what kind of city did you live in where Climbers don’t fight to confirm who’s stronger?”

“Ashwood.”

“Never heard of it.”

“It’s small.” Will admitted.

“Well, in the city, if you meet someone you don’t know, and you wanna make a good impression, you gotta fight ‘em.”

“…” Will met Travis’s eye and held his gaze for a long moment.

“…I’m not gonna do that.” Will said.

“You’ll see.” Travis said with a shrug.

Thank you for clearing the Key Site. You may advance to the 3rd Floor at your discretion.

+ 300XP

Will glanced up and noticed that the remaining Sky Hares had long since been mopped up.

He glanced at Loth, who nodded, indicating that he’d gotten the message as well.

An extra-large Door appeared to accommodate their large group, and the bus was already heading through it.

“Come on, let’s go,” Will said, heading towards the door.

“But…Loot?” Travis said, pointing at the Boss they’d defeated, which was still decomposing into neon blue Miasma that rose from its corpse.

“The bus is going to hand off their package to another bus waiting on the other side of the door. The second bus will have secured the hand-off area against monsters, but they’re going to leave as soon as they get their passengers. If we want to keep trailing the bus to a stronghold on the 3rd floor, we need to go now.” Will explained.

“But…loot?” Travis repeated, his voice nearly a whimper.

“You can stay if you want, you’re not technically under my command,” Will said with a shrug, jogging towards the Door.

“Damn,” Will heard the Decoy mutter before running to catch up, joining the other three.

Will screeched to a halt in front of the Door, his heartbeat spiking dramatically.

I thought I was over this.

You’ve done this three times already. And look, this door is bigger than the other ones, not the same thing at all. Will logic-ed his way through the problem, disassociating with the moment, watching himself act, as though he were viewing everything from the end of a long tunnel.

He could not keep falling backwards through the Doors, not when more and more dangerous monsters and terrain waited on the other end.

“You good?” Loth asked.

“Yep,” Will said, swallowing the animalistic terror in his throat and stepping through.

Will’s face was slammed by a wave of hot air, nearly making him stagger in place. Ash crunched under his feet, the smell of ash and caustic fumes was thick, and the sun was dim, hanging blood red in the sky, casting everything in a reddish shade.

Welcome to the 3rd Floor!

Miasma Acclimation: 3 days.

It is not advised to Ascend or Descend before the Miasma acclimation period has elapsed. Side effects of doing so include fever, bulging bloodshot eyes, coughing, pustules, necrosis of the extremities, paraphilia, parasitic twin growths, and Death.

There is a Stronghold to your East, and a Key Site in need of clearing to your North.

Again, it is not advised to Ascend or Descend before the Acclimation period has elapsed.

It wasn’t just the sun that looked bloody. Will thought he could smell it through the caustic fumes.

Then he heard the screaming.