The Lunas Second Chance Mate
Chapter 19

Alyson's

POV

With a twisted smile, he said, "yes, you look awful." And then he buttered his bread.

"Hey," I sputtered through a full mouth, throwing what bread remained in my hand at him. But I knew it was true.

I didn't know if it was because of exhaustion or sadness causing my mind to flip over, but it seemed so funny all of the sudden and we both laughed.

Donna was sitting down then, "Now, let's get along, children." While her tone was sharp, it was all for the joke of the moment. She was pleased to hear less hostility from Michael even if he was mocking my pain, it was more playful.

I spent the day helping Donna. Michael was outside doing his chores about town, but he planned to return for dinner.

I pined for Ryan, hoping that even though he told Donna he would not be back for dinner that he would show up. I cooked with her, learning her skills, preparing as if he might eat what we made. I wanted to know what kept him away, what he was hiding from me, or if he didn't love me anymore. I could not be certain without seeing him, so his avoidance really upset me.

Each hour went by slowly as I relived every moment of the night before in my mind, wondering if I had said or done anything differently, perhaps it would have turned out better.

We finally sat down to the feast that Donna had worked on all afternoon.

From one of his errands, Michael brought back many bottles of wine for Ryan, but the three of us determined together that he wouldn't mind if we enjoyed a bottle or two of the new supply.

It was nice, despite my bitter mood and worrying all day. Michael and Donna seemed especially jolly perhaps to offset my quiet sulking.

With a cup full of wine, I kept sipping till I became a little happier. I ate the delicious food and tried my best not to think about Ryan, but I still hoped that he would show up.

Michael looked between us, "So now that I have both of you a little tipsy, I want to know the deepest desires of your heart."

Donna chuckled at the question, her face flushing from the wine.

My head was already spinning. I couldn't say revenge, at least I still knew that. I told them, "I want to be the strongest."

"No, that doesn't count. We already knew that." Michael refuted. "I mean from the heart... not just cold ambition."

"Oh, like you're a man of the heart now?" I said.

Donna interjected, "My greatest desire is to help those I love, and do what I can for them." She was looking at us fondly. "I never had children of my own, but I care so much for you three. Even Alpha Ryan as tough as he is, I've seen him since he was pretty young grow into this tower of strength, and I'm so proud of him."

It was so sweet, I had to get up and hug her.

"Michael, your turn." I insisted.

"But you didn't really answer the question." He said.

After Donna's amazing outlook, any of my thoughts seemed superficial and cold, I didn't want to share the truth either. I certainly couldn't admit that I wanted Ryan's love when I had only just admitted it to myself and not even to Ryan.

"You go," I insisted, handing him the bottle of wine to refill his glass.

"Donna, you never should have gone first," Michael said to her, mirroring my thoughts exactly. "You make us look bad."

"Oh please," she was blushing. "I didn't mean to do that. Just be yourself, that's all I want."

"I went first, technically." I said.

"It didn't count." He said.

"It did." I said.

He ignored me, his face turning thoughtful as he considered how to admit what he was thinking. "The greatest desire of my heart... is that the Starstream Pack becomes as strong as possible. That others might know our name and place among the best." I realized then why Ryan trusted Michael so much. Even though he was a bit antagonizing, he really thought of the group above himself.

He said to me, "Don't look so surprised. It's your turn now. A real answer this time, from your heart."

I could feel my heart beating in my chest from the pressure. I hated admitting anything sentimental. Even listening to them made me a little uncomfortable as my greatest desire was cruel- to take revenge and kill my sister, and the mate I should have had. All the truths I could never admit to anyone.

I must've paused a long time.

Donna said, "Oh, don't pressure her, Michael, it's only fun to a point. She said what she would."

I was pouring myself another glass of wine, taking a big swig. Even in my drunken state, I knew better than to admit my past life to them. I didn't want them to think terrible of me, and I feared their rejection too.

"My greatest desire is..." I let them lean in as if I would actually confess. "Sleep. I couldn't sleep last night and I'm so tired." It was true. My eyes ached and my head was pounding now. I giggled at the humor in it, especially Michael's disdain for my joke. "You do look like you could use some rest. Perhaps we should all go to bed. It is getting late." Donna said.

I gazed sadly at the motionless door.

I went to my room, head pulsing with the raging headache. I desperately needed to close my eyes. I was thirsty for water but too tired to get any.

I wasn't sure how much time passed as I slipped in and out of sleep. Ryan walked in. Like a savior, he held a cup of water and let me drink it. He put his hand to my forehead being so gentle and caring that I wondered if this were just a sweet dream. Everything was foggy. I grabbed at his shirt and pulled him to me. I kissed him aggressively, wanting him. The pulsing in my head overpowered by the pulsing between my legs. He let me pull him to the bed, and I crawled on top of his body. His body was so firm, I felt up his shirt at his ripped abs, I ran my hands over it and began to unbutton them. If it were a dream, it was amazing.

I pressed my body into his, and kissed him again and again, trailing my hands over his body and kissing his neck. I felt the bulge in his pants that I had dared not touch before, but my hands went there now to feel it.

He gave a little gasp of pleasure, before he pushed me away. I was trying to unbutton his pants to replace out what was inside.

"Why are you pushing me away?" I complained. He stood up, buttoning his shirt back up, trying to settle himself with a deep breath.

"Don't you love me? You said that you did, was it a lie? Why have you been gone? Why were you like that the other night?" My drunken love was fast turning to anger as I felt rejected again.

"I do love you, but you need water." He said quietly. "You should sleep this off."

Hi expression was hazy in my mind like I couldn't focus on him. But his words soothed me. "You better not have lied to me..." I muttered. "I could never forgive you."

I drank the rest of the water. He laid me back down and put the covers over me. He was close, I wanted to climb on top of him again. I wanted to replace out what it would feel like to both want each other, and replace out what mating was. It was my deepest desire. I reached up to unbutton his shirt again. He laughed a little under his breath, but pulled it away.

I pouted with disappointment.

He leaned down, kissed my neck lightly. Ripples of pleasure flushed through my body. But then instead of more, he whispered in my ear, "Just sleep, Alyson. I don't want our first time together to be when you're drunk."

I wanted to complain that I was not too drunk, but I could not even focus on his face. I was too dizzy to lift my head again.

He planted a soft kiss on my lips, laying down beside me, he cuddled me into slumber. I felt calm, and with my head still spinning, I fell asleep.