The Lunas Second Chance Mate
Chapter 51

Alyson's

POV

My face was still swollen from crying all night. I'd not slept well. Michelle had slept in my room with me, making me feel a little less alone, but I still felt very secluded and unloved in the world.

This morning, I felt angrier at Ryan than ever. But also angry at myself for trusting him. He said that he would never hurt me, and last night he almost did. It scared me to my core. What was worse, was the memory that he'd handled me roughly another time. The pendant around my neck was proof of that. He hadn't even been drunk this time.

Had I said something wrong to make him act like that? I poured through my memory of our interaction. I had spoken of Jacob, but if Ryan had been listening at all, he would have known my feelings about him.

Still, my heart broke. I loved Ryan. It had felt good to trust him, and I had run to his place after my encounter with Jacob to feel safe. Even if it hurt now to feel like he had tried to use me or something. Thinking about all my mixed emotions only confused and frustrated me, but I wanted to cry again.

He had stopped himself before he went too far, so that was something. I saw the wolf in his eyes, and I knew it was the curse of Alexanders to fight with their wolves, and be better able to control them only with blood of Clan Clark. For the first time all morning, I felt a little sorry for him. I knew he was a decent man, but he struggled every minute of his life to keep his humanity. And last night, I had almost become a victim to the ferocity that made him powerful. Michelle knocked on my bedroom door, "Alyson, Ryan is here? Should I let him in?" She sounded worried.

I thought for a moment. At first, I was too angry to see him, but I was also desperate to know what he had to say.

"Yes, please let him in." I said.

Ryan entered the room. We stood at opposite sides for a minute, and I made no motion towards him. We stared at each other, I recognized him more today than yesterday. I nodded to grant him permission to approach me.

He rushed to me, lowering himself to my feet like a beta who was about to profess devotion, he pleaded, "I'm so sorry Alyson. I never wanted to hurt or scare you. Please, I beg for you to forgive me. I'm afraid that you never will."

It was strange seeing this large, brutish man at my feet, humbling himself to me as if I were in charge. My confused heart softened ever so slightly, but I still kept upright and cold, still keeping my distance. "What do I need to do for your forgiveness?" He asked.

"Why did you act like that yesterday?" I questioned. I was not sure if I could forgive him, but perhaps if he showed some awareness of what happened and how he could prevent it from happening again, I might consider it. He was still knelt before me, and reached up for my hands. I kept my arms tucked behind me, waiting for his answer.

"I lost control of my wolf. I know it's terrible. I became so jealous since you told me that Jacob was your fated mate before, and then you met him, and it sounded as if he knew you had no mate. The wolf inside me was going crazy. I'm usually better than to let the wolf take control, but I needed you so much. I love you so much it hurts me."

When he stopped, I put my hands in his and gripped them. He looked up at me with sorrow filling his tawny eyes.

"I'm so sorry, please forgive me. I can't force you to be my mate, and I can't force you to love me. I know this, and I accept it."

I relaxed ever so slightly.

"What I feel for you is so strong, and I believe I would feel it if I were ever to die and be reborn like you had. I was afraid to lose you. I was afraid that your feelings might soften for Jacob because you felt for him in your past life what I feel for you."

I wasn't sure what to say at first, but his words made more sense. I could have compassion for it. "Don't worry about that. I said it before, but I could never love Jacob. I feel no mate bond to anyone in this life." "Can you forgive me?" He asked, kissing my hands.

I wanted to, I realized. It surprised me. I was never going to forgive Jennifer or Jacob, but maybe I could forgive Ryan. He had a bad moment once in a while due to his cursed wolf. I had to remember that most did not have as easy relationship to their wolves like Ariana and I.

Also, I had said some things that were maybe too strong too. He wasn't the only one in the world to let emotions get the best of them.

"Ryan," I cupped his face in my hands, and he looked up at me. I could lose myself in those sincere eyes. He was mortified by his actions. "I love you, and it's not easy for me to love. But never for one more second think that I could ever have any lingering feelings for Jacob. He's the reason I was so miserable in my last life. Have you forgotten why we're here?"

I leaned down and kissed him. He looked so vulnerable for the first time. He was in my hands.

He stood up and took me in his arms. I let him kiss me, although I was still a little withdrawn at first.

"I'm yours," he whispered in my ear, "In all small ways that you will have me. I will not push or pressure you into anything ever again as long as you forgive me now."

I peeled back from him, and ran my hand through his messy dark brown hair. He leaned into my caress. I was still a little shaken from yesterday, but I also felt that electric current between us now that I was open to forgiving him.

"I forgive you," I said. "But be more careful next time. I know you don't want to take much of my blood, but if it helps you keep your wolf under control, it might be best for both of us."

He kissed me again and again on my lips and down to the nape of my neck till I kissed him back even more fiercely, even biting at his lip.

I knew he wanted all of me, but he held back this time, only kissing and touching gently, wanting for me to lead the way to what I wanted.

He pulled back to say, "You're my heart, and I can't live without you. Alyson, you make me so happy. Thank you for forgiving me. I hardly deserve you."

Not knowing how to respond, I threw my arms around his shoulders and buried my face in his neck takin in a deep whiff of his musky sexy odor. It felt good to be loved like this. I knew I could forgive him because he was sincere.

I grabbed his hand, and I led him to my bed to be clear about what I wanted from him. Gazing up at him, I pulled him to the bed, and climbed on top of him.

"Are you sure?" He asked, looking amused and pleased.

I was feeling down his firm body while he lay there. "Clearly," I said playfully, "But I'm in charge today."

He smiled sweetly, "Yes, milady, whatever you say."

I ground my hips into his to make myself want him. I pulled his face between my legs to request that he lick me till it felt even better. Waves of pleasure erupted through my body. He complied at every turn like I had this large man for my every whim. His eyes burned with desire, but it was a little different because all he wanted was to please me.

I made him wait a little longer till we were mating this time to test his patience a little more, but soon, I was so turned on I couldn't stand it any longer, I climbed on top and slipped him inside me, gasping at the throbbing member that filled me up. We found a rhythm with me on top, and him thrusting upwards furiously to finish himself. I leaned down to kiss him again.

We were both smiling. It was so strange how we could fight, and making love always made it seem like it never had really mattered to us.

We lay there in stunned silence afterwards. There were many emotions flowing around the room, but at least the tension had vanished. We lay together in bliss till it the sunlight indicated it was already afternoon.

We snuggled together till there was another knock on the door.

I blushed thinking that Michelle probably heard us.

"What is it, Michelle?" I called out, too naked to answer the door.

"It's the Luna. She has sent an invitation that you join her for tea this afternoon!" She called through the closed door.

My heart dropped out of my chest. Could this have anything to do with meeting Jacob yesterday?