The Lunas Second Chance Mate
Chapter 60

After playing some games with Dylan and Michelle all afternoon, I was in better spirits than I had been in a while. It had given me some reprieve from wondering about Diana being Jacob's blood provider, and being offered as a future mate to Ryan. That last part really ate away at my soul, I was not sure what I could do to prevent it if Ryan would be Alpha. And I kind of believed that he would be the best Alpha the Alexanders had ever produced.

I knew that he wanted to, no matter what he said, I hardly trusted that when the time was right, he would give that all up to be with me as a non-mate lover with hot and cold flashes of affection. I sighed as I snuck up to Ryan's side entrance, expecting him to be waiting for me as usual.

When I had to knock, I felt a little agitated. His sense always warned him of my arrival, was he not home?

The servant that answered allowed me to come in. "Yes,' Ryan is home. I will get him."

I waited in the front room like some drop-in acquaintance.

"Alyson!" His enthusiasm hit me. I startled when he appeared from the side. He folded me in his arms, and kissed me, but I moved my head a little so that it landed on my cheek.

"Am I intruding?" I asked, trying to maintain my temper. "Usually, you know when I've arrived."

"Not at all," he tilted his head curiously, his large hands running down to the small of my back before he let me go. "I was wrapped up in something, that's all."

"In what?" I asked him, not liking myself in this moment to be honest. It's not like it wasn't completely fair to not smell or predict my arrival once out of twenty times.

"Come in a sit for a while," He gestured towards one of his lounging chairs in the front room. That also felt off, usually we whisked away to the bedroom. My suspicions were officially on edge.

I sat down curtly while saying, "Are you hiding something? Or is there a reason you haven't answered me when I asked what you were up to?" Even as I said it, I cringed inside, jealousy was leading me to a dark place, and I was going with it.

He was gazing over at me fondly as if nothing was the matter at all. "Nothing too interesting. I was writing to Donna for an update and account of Starstream. I'm thinking of sending Michael back for business soon."

Thinking of Donna lightened my mood a little. I missed her company. "I wish she could come here."

"Maybe someday she will." Ryan nodded.

"Dylan is visiting," I said, staring at Ryan with an intensity to read his reaction.

"That's nice," he said without emotion. "I haven't seen him yet."

"We were busy all afternoon," I said, allowing for some ambiguity. Even knowing that I was being obnoxious, I couldn't stop myself. "Busy with what?" He asked.

"Having some fun," I said. "Michelle was there too."

He suddenly looked more withdrawn than before, but he said, "That's good."

"He was worried about my health. Asked if I wanted to go stay with his family again for a while to get away from all the stresses here."

At each word, Ryan looked progressively more morose. "That might not be a bad idea."

That frustrated me. I'd brought it up to see if he cared, and that was his response?

"Would you care if I went?" I asked.

"Are you going to go?" For the first time all day, his tone matched mine. I realized how hurtful it resounded. He shifted in his seat with agitation. Suddenly he felt so far from me, and I gazed at him more softly.

He stood up and came towards me. At first his stance looked rough, but then he squatted in front of me, and put his hands on my knees, stroking up and down my legs. "Please don't leave." He said, turning vulnerable, he lay his head in my lap. It was what I wanted to hear. I ran my hands through his dense hair, and lay my head over his in an embrace. Our arms went around each other to hold on.

"I wouldn't go," I said.

"I would not survive your absence."

"I only thought about it because if I were out of the way, you could accept Diana and become Alpha and your dreams could all come true." The truth behind my agitation and reserve came spilling out as he held each other.

His eyes were alight with sorrow when he looked up at me with understanding. "You don't need to be jealous. I would never take any other mate but you. If I have to wait till I'm dead, I will wait and hope that you will be ready. Please never leave me."

His vulnerability surprised me. His words touched me. How could I keep denying such a man? How could I ask him to give up his dreams for me since I would not accept him as more than a secret lover? I felt like a terrible she-wolf. It seemed cruel all of the sudden. I clung to him tighter, his cedar scent filled my nostrils. His head was nuzzling my lap, rubbing over me and stirring a longing in my body. I nipped at his ear playfully.

"I wouldn't leave you," I said. "I told Dylan that I could not."

He was kissing me now, tenderly, and my body was flushing as my blood rushed through my body. He only became more engrossed, and he lifted me from my seat into his arms. He carried me up the stairs and into his bedroom.

I could never give this up. I wondered if my pride would ever let me be his mate, but I could not bear any other she-wolf being with him. The idea had nearly driven me crazy these last two days. It was a cruel trick of the Moon Goddess to put this love in my life when I'd asked for no mate bond.

This time as we made love, I wanted to open my mind to him so that he would see how much I loved him. I wanted him to feel how much I needed him too since it was hard for me to admit.

He reacted to the sentiments, smiling up at me with that eager wolfish gleam in his eyes, kissing up my leg with careful sweeps of his hand over my thigh.

I gasped with pleasure.

He licked me and pleasured me under my dress till I could not bare it any longer, and I pushed him over and straddled him. Leaning over with a gentle kiss on the lips, I said, "I love you, Ryan. And I always will."

He cradled my face and we rocked back and forth in love making. In that moment, I knew I would have to do something that I had not imagined.

Not today, but someday soon.

When we were finished, I rolled over to tell him. "Before they force you to lose your Alpha candidacy or you take Diana as a mate, I will tell everyone that I'm a she-wolf with Clan Clark blood."

He turned fast out of his stupor. "What? Does that mean?"

I blushed not wanting to get into any implications.

He continued, "Only if it will be safe for you."

"Safe or not, I will," I said quietly as fear seized my heart. "For you." As soon as I said it, I realized that I would do anything for him.

I could see his concern and his eagerness fighting inside of him. "That's a lot to do for me."

'And you would do it for me." I said.

"I'd do anything for you." He reassured.

"Me too. I must. I can't let you give up your dreams, or let circumstance force you to take another mate. I just can't..." I said as my eyes filled with tears at the complexities of all the influx of emotions battering me.