The Lycan Series
The Lycan King’s Breeder Chapter 19

Talon's POV

Last night she cried.

Why did she have to cry? Why did she have to make everything worse and more complicated?

As I left the room, I was turning my frustration over and over in my head. What the hell was her problem? This girl had me almost feeling guilty for how I approached the situation. Me! The Alpha!

The look of fear that had registered on her face when she opened her eyes and looked at me, made me angry.

I had seen fear in people's eyes before. I had planted those fears in people's hearts. But to see someone like her, knowing I caused fear to come upon her beautiful face, was different. There was something different about her and I hated to admit it but seeing her like that had made me feel like I was a monster.

Storming through the hallway, I made my way towards the small room that was converted into a bar. I couldn't stop picturing her fearful eyes in my mind and that bothered me. I needed a strong drink to settle my nerves.

The liquor bar in this room was always stocked, whiskey had become my treatment of choice after the life I had once lived. Grabbing a glass from the stand, I snatched the crystal decanter and poured some of the dark amber liquid into my glass. As it met my lips, I closed my eyes shut, enjoying the flavour, it was the only thing that numbed my pain anymore and that was exactly what I needed.

"Avalyn..." Her name on my lips was something I couldn't stop coming back to.

Why couldn't I stop thinking about her? She was just a f*****g breeder, a human one at that!

I shouldn't be feeling these things. I didn't even know what exactly I was feeling, but I didn't like it. I had honestly expected to just go in there and finish as Willow had said, but the moment I laid my eyes on her, it was like something about her commanded me to stop. I should have been gentler, even more careful. I should have taken things slow and tried my best to not hurt her.

Damn it!

The sound of shattering glass filled the room. I looked down at my hand and noticed that I had been gripping it too tightly on the glass and it had broken and shattered to the ground. Blood dripped down my palm from the new cut that decorated my skin. I sighed. A knock at the door drew my attention, and a groan of irritation left my lips as I walked over to open the door. Willow stood there, her eyes widened with shock as they travelled from me to the floor behind me and the broken glass. She watched me cautiously, eyes scrutinizing me as she walked calmly into the room.

"Is everything okay?" She asked gently.

I sighed and walked over to her, pulling her into a tight hug. I buried my nose into her neck and took a long whiff of her scent, hoping for it to calm me down... but it wasn't working, nothing was working. All my brain seemed to remember was the scent of the human girl when I buried my nose into the soft skin of her neck-fuck! I needed to stop.

"I love you, so much, Willow," I confessed in a small whisper. "I don't want to lose you... I can't lose you, it'd kill me too." I held her face close to mine and stared deeply into her eyes. I could see her eyes fill with confusion but she replied to me either way. "You're not losing me. I'm here, my love, I'm not going anywhere," She said, just as softly, as she pulled me into a gentle kiss. "What happened to your hand?" She asked after we pulled apart, only then noticing the dried blood on my palm. "It's fine, I'm all healed up," I sighed, showing her my hand to stop her from worrying. "I'm sorry, my moon."

I had no idea what I was apologizing for, but I just felt the need to. The guilt ate up at me convincing my brain to say sorry. Willow was taken aback by my apology, clearly not understanding why I was apologizing for all of a sudden. "Don't worry about it, you're all healed up, aren't you?" She said with a small chuckle.

Oh. She thought I was apologizing for getting myself hurt.

I didn't even have it in me to correct her without feeling guilt wash over me. Willow was my mate, I shouldn't have felt like this for someone else. I shouldn't feel lust for another woman.

"How was it -with the girl?" She asked the question I had been dreading to hear.

I avoided her eyes and walked back to the bar, taking on a bar stool to sit down on. Another glass of whiskey was all I needed.

"It was fine." Came my simple and short response.

I felt her presence next to me and turned to look her in the eye. "I take it you did what you had to do," She said as she grabbed herself a glass and filled it with whiskey.

I scoffed, ignoring her question. I didn't want to think of Avalyn, I didn't want anything to remind me of her sweet voice and soft skin, the way she had moaned sweet nothings, the way her body had writhed beneath mine.

I stood up abruptly, startling Willow. "I'm going for a run," I said, stripping out of the silk robe I had worn when I left Avalyn's room. "I need to clear my head baby." I excused myself when she gave me a weird look. "I'll wait up for you-"

"No! Just go to bed, I'll join you when I get back." I didn't wait for a reply as I bent down to give her a quick kiss.

I knew my behaviour would arouse confusion from her, but I honestly needed to be away for now. I felt my body contort as I transformed into my wolf form. I didn't waste any time as I leapt out the door, running into the night.

Running really didn't do much to sort out the confusing feelings in my mind, but at least it relaxed me a bit. The morning sun had started to rise to the sky when I made my way back to the palace grounds. The walk back was quiet and peaceful, giving me time to reflect on my feelings. The red of my eyes gave everything I stared at, a surreal tinge.

I strutted past a few members of my pack from the patrol team. They all bowed their heads in greeting when I walked by. I continued walking and made my way back to the palace itself. The guards at the door gave a low bow of their heads as they opened it for me. Only when I had walked in through the palace gates did I transform back into my human body.

Glancing at the grandmaster clock settled directly to my left, I could make out in the dimly lit room that it was just a few minutes past five. I sighed, Willow would be worried I didn't make it back to bed last night. I walked up the stairs and made it into our room. Willow stood near the open window, staring outside at the gardens that backed our room.

"What's going on with you Talon?" She asked as soon as I stepped into the room, not even bothering to look me in the eye.

"What do you mean?" I pretended, playing dumb. Of course, I knew she would have noticed my weird behaviour, I would have noticed it too.

I couldn't tell her what actually was wrong with me, I couldn't tell her I had spent the whole of my night thinking about how I had fucked another woman. I certainly couldn't tell her about how I really wanted to do it again.

"You know what I mean. You're acting strange and I don't know what to make of it." She finally turned to me. "I know you're upset about this, I know this was never what you wanted to do. I know how much you despise the humans."

"But baby, we talked about this. It's the only way we can get what we want," she said, releasing a small sigh. "That girl -Avalyn- did her job, she did exactly what we bought her for. We just have to wait to replace out the results."

Willow was right. This was a task, nothing more. I shouldn't feel this way about a filthy human, not when the goddess blessed me with a beautiful woman as a mate. I had been so foolish to make her worry, to ever doubt my loyalty to her. "I know, my moon." I sighed, "Sorry for making you worry. It's just the stress of this whole situation, and the Alpha of Moonstone is visiting in a few days and I still have to deal with this shit."

I pulled her close to me and planted a sweet kiss on her forehead. "Forgive me."

This was right. Willow was right for me, she was my mate and I loved her with everything that I had.

But why couldn't I get Avalyn off my mind?