The Lycan Series
The Lycan King’s Breeder Chapter 56

Avalyn's

POV

Useless used to be an ordinary word until it became a person -It became me.

Talon couldn't even look at me when he came. He asked about the baby and especially only asked when I was ready to have another child for him. That made me more than useless. I was a burden and I should have died with my child. I shouldn't have stayed alive.

"Avalyn?" Sara called my name and I looked at her.

Her cheeks were red and her eyes were swollen from too many tears.

I brought this upon her. How could I have been so stupid and reckless? How did I lose the baby?

"I have done some tests and it's indicating that you ate something that had a pregnancy termination property in it," she explained.

My eyes enlarged as large beads of tears dripped down my face. I would never take a termination drug or pill or food.

I loved my child with all of my heart, why would I take a termination pill?

"Do you remember what you ate throughout the day?"

I had breakfast with Dawn and Emily. We went for that scan and I was supposed to have lunch with them as well but when I got there, they had eaten everything.

A small sad smile curled on my face as I thought of the antics I made because I couldn't get the chocolate pudding.

"Avalyn, I will need you to respond to me..." Sara laid her hand on mine and I flinched away like it was burning lava.

My mouth refused to open. It felt like my motor senses had stopped the moment I heard that my baby was dead.

"I want to help you. But I can't do that if you don't want to talk to me..." she pleaded, yet only tears flowed out of my eyes.

I was a failure and I shouldn't open my mouth when others spoke.

"Aish! This is going to be harder than I thought," Sara mumbled under her breath before she stepped out of the ward.

I heard the thunderclaps up ahead and my eyes moved to the window. God was mocking me. He gave me a chance to save myself and I foolishly lost it.

The door to the ward opened again and this time, Dawn and Emily came in with her.

"Avalyn, I brought your friends. We are all in this together," Sara persuaded me again.

But I fixed my eyes on the window and anticipated the first drop of rain.

"Ava, please. We need to know what you fucking remember, anything at all..." Emily whispered with a firm voice.

"If it's in her food, the only thing she ate that we didn't, is that chocolate cake..."

"Are you saying the fucking chef planned this?" Dawn put in.

"Then you need to inform Greg, right away! We shouldn't waste time. The culprits might try to get away. We need to catch them!" Sara said.

Emily walked toward me and again, I flinched away. I am dirty and unworthy.

Her eyes were red too. Same as with Dawn.

Just this morning, they were all so excited and I was happy because I brought them joy. Now, I was causing them pain.

I was in bad luck. I was cursed.

I was in bad luck. I was cursed.

I didn't deserve their sympathy. I deserve this pain in my heart. I deserved the cold shoulder Talon gave to me.

"I know you are hurt but... I just wanted you to know that it wasn't your fault," she whispered and then turned to Dawn. "Let's go replace the f*****g animal behind this!" She hissed.

I watched as the door opened and closed. Sara just shook her head and reached for the door too.

"May I... Umm... return to my room... Please?" I whimpered.

Sara stopped and turned to face me. "I am done with your tests. I just thought that you would prefer to rest here..."

"No, umm... I am fine. I just want to be in my room."

Sara observed me for a few minutes. I could tell she wanted to say more. She wanted to ask more but she nodded in the end and pulled the door open. "Cassie, please come," she said.

Cassie, Greg's wife, stepped into the ward.

"Please escort Avalyn back to her room," she told Cassie.

"Of course, that won't be a problem," Cassie replied.

Then she came close to the bed and offered me her hand. "Let's take you home."

My eyes dropped to her hand and I swallowed back my self-pity. Maybe I could accept another person's help one last time.

"I will pass your drugs to Dawn and Emily. They will give it to you every day. In a couple of days, you will feel better than you do now," Sara assured me.

I couldn't even bring my lips to whisper a thank you for her kindness even though I had failed all of them. Sara was still nice to me. Maybe one day, they would all see me for the burden I was. Cassie led me out of the ward. I noticed a few guards following behind us but I paid them no attention.

As soon as we got to the room, I opened my drawer and brought out the picture of the scan we did earlier that day, and hugged it to my chest.

I sat on the bed and took in deep breaths.

"Avalyn, if you need to cry. Then please do not hesitate. It will ease the pain," Cassie said.

"The guards are outside. If you need anything before Emily and Dawn return. Just tell them and they will get the message to me."

She patted my thigh and this time I didn't flinch.

"Take care of yourself. I'll come to check on you tomorrow." With that she walked out of the room, leaving me to my misery.

The moment the door closed. My tears resumed falling.

I opened my eyes and looked at the screenshot.

"My innocent baby... My poor baby..." I whimpered crying harder and harder

Why did God bring me here to experience this amount of pain?

Was it not better to live under my stepmother than to be here and think I have found peace only to be thrown back into terrible pain? The thunder claps outside became stronger and louder.

A large lump sat in my throat as the rain started pouring down my window. I wished I could die and just forget about everything.

My eyes fell to the drawers. I got out of bed and opened them. There were scissors but as I tried to reach them, my fingers shook.

I didn't want the pain that brought... I couldn't cut myself.

I left the drawer and went to the bathroom.

I started the bathtub and let the water fill to the brim. Then I took out my clothes and stepped inside.

Slowly, my body went deeper and deeper into the water. I didn't try breathing, I embraced death.

My lungs were burning but it felt good. I felt at peace. My eyes closed and I felt myself being pulled into a different hole of darkness.

My body hovered above an expanse of space, till it came to a door and I went through it.

I found myself in my old room, back in town.

"Avalyn... Avalyn..."

I turned my head to the side and there was a woman. She looked like Sara but she didn't have glasses on.

She smiled kindly at me but I couldn't return the gesture.

This was a lie. Just like every happy moment in my life. It was all just a sham to bring me even more pain than before.

"Will you say even your friends were lying?" she asked in a voice that was like music to my ears.

I furrowed my brows and wondered why she asked me this. Did it even matter?

"Dawn's constantly screaming your name to eat. Emily's way of making you smile... Was all of that a lie too?"

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes and all I wanted was to scream. "Why are you asking me all of that? Why does it even matter?! Why did my son have to die?! Why?!" I yelled as my tear gland burst open. "Some things happen to bring us closer to our destiny. You don't have to give up. You just have to be strong..."

The words fired into my soul like tiny little arrows. It was the hope my body needed but I still rejected it.

"But I am tired of being strong. I am tired of constantly fighting for things I could never have..."

"You thought you could never be happy. Look back, and think of the people you've met. Didn't they bring you happiness? How will they feel if you die? Don't you think that pain will remain in their hearts forever?" My lips quivered as I lacked answers to give.

She was right. Maybe my death would cause them pain. At least for Emily and Dawn -maybe even Sara and Cassie.

"But is it worth living?" I whispered dejectedly.

"A lot of people are searching for just one reason to live... You have more than just one. Do not be selfish, Avalyn..."

As she said the word, I felt my body being pushed back out through the dark void and suddenly my lungs were burning and this time, it was not peaceful.