The Moral Dilemma (War of Sins Book 5)
The Moral Dilemma: Chapter 12

NOELLE COULDN’T SLEEP that night. At that point it must have been over twenty-four hours since she’d last gotten some sleep, and her anxiety kept mounting. She waited until she was once more given green light to enter the drug facility. Her sole purpose was to check that her Blue was fine.

According to the footage she’d reviewed from the hacienda, it had been a few days since he’d been taken to the facility—from the moment she’d left. She was convinced that had been Sergio’s purpose all along. Yet even as she feared that he’d discovered who Raf was to her, she was even more afraid of what had happened to her beloved in her absence.

“Please be fine, Raf,” she whispered all the way to the facility.

He needed to be alright, otherwise the world would taste her anger. At that moment, she would discard any feeling of self-preservation she might have and she would take anyone who’d touched Raf to her grave with her.

When she arrived at the facility, the guard gave her a once over, but he allowed her inside.

“I want a report of everything that has happened in my absence,” she commanded in a stern voice, heading straight to her office. There, she had access to the surveillance feed in the subject rooms and she could get a clearer picture of how Raf was doing.

Her first instinct was to storm over to him, but she needed to temper herself. Anything she did might raise suspicions, so she needed to tread lightly.

One of the workers knocked on her door, handing her the full report she’d requested.

She perused it, noting the adjustments Sergio had made to the drug and to whom he’d administered it.

There were fourteen test subjects at that point at the facility, and as she trailed her finger down the list, stopping on Raf’s name.

“God, no,” she whispered.

Dropping the file on her desk, she opened her computer, replaceing his room and accessing the video feed there.

All the rooms for the test subjects were the same. White, desolate. There was a bed in the room, a shower and a toilet in a corner that didn’t allow for any privacy, and a table with a chair. Raf was in the middle of the room, pacing around, clearly agitated.

Noelle swallowed hard as all her fears suddenly manifested.

She turned to the report, reading more.

Sergio had ordered two batches of the drug to be introduced. One batch was to be mixed with a sedative to keep people in a trance-like state, while the other was mixed with a stimulant to trigger an aggressive state.

Immediately, she knew which drug Raf had been placed on, just as she intuited how Sergio planned to use them. If these weren’t intended for the streets, then they were to be used by private entities for who knows what depraved purposes.

Raf had been placed in the wing close to her office, and though that raised some flags in her mind, she quickly squashed any doubts as she planned how she was going to see him. It would take her a minute to walk to his room.

Gods, but the temptation was too hard to resist.

There was one guard who always monitored the test subjects in case one of them up and died at any moment. She was sure she could bribe him somehow to turn a blind eye to her visits. But before she did anything reckless, she needed to ensure that nothing would get back to Sergio.

Soon, Raf. I’m coming to you soon.

She spent a few hours going over the business statements regarding the product and making a list of all the changes Sergio had done to the facility.

He was a crafty son of a bitch, she’d give him that. When she’d wanted to get rid of the dangerous formula, he’d simply bid his time waiting for when he could use it.

Noelle’s hands curled into fists as she grinded her jaw in anger.

It wasn’t just that Sergio had gone over her head with the drug formula. It was the fact that she knew the devastating effects it could have on the human body. She’d been the one to come up with it after all. And so all the destruction it wreaked could be traced right back to her.

For so long, she’d locked away her guilt, focusing only on her final goal. Yet now, it was all coming back to haunt her. The man she’d tried so hard to protect was the one suffering from her mistakes. And she hated herself for it.

By the time she was done with her business, she was proud of herself for withstanding the temptation of going to Raf before she could lay everything in order.

She had a few words with the guard on surveillance duty and she offered him a few pieces of jewelry to keep quiet—with the promise of more.

Having covered all her bases, she felt a low tremor go down her back as she exited her office.

When she’d last seen Raf on the video feed, he’d been pacing around his room like a madman, banging his fists against the wall every now and then. To a degree, she was scared of what she was going to replace once she took the final step—she was afraid she would be looking in the eyes of her own failure.

But she steeled herself against that feeling.

Her Raf could never hurt her. Of that she was sure.

Her heels clicked on the floor as she walked determinately towards the room. Once in front of it, she removed her key, stabbing it in the lock and turning it sideways.

The door slowly opened. Her heart was in her throat as she entered, closing the door behind her.

“Raf?” she whispered, her voice barely audible.

He was with his back to her, staring at the blank wall.

He was wearing clean clothes for once, a white linen shirt paired with a white pair of pants.

As she advanced towards him, her steps echoed in the stillness of the room. That was when he finally reacted, pivoting and coming face to face with her.

He looked much better than the last time she’d seen him. His bruises had healed and his face was for once unblemished, his blue eyes sparkling even in the dullness of the sterile room. His blond hair was combed back, and he looked as though he’d showered recently.

Her lips spread into an optimistic smile, only to fall when a scowl marred his face, a loud growl-like sound emanating from him.

For one moment as her eyes had feasted on him she’d forgotten the circumstances that brought them together, in that room. She forgot that he was still suffering from the effects of the drug just as she forgot who she was to him—Noelle Villanueva, the wife of his master, not his Lucero.

He now saw the real her—the one he abhorred so much. And that cut her to the bone.

“You,” he spat out. Before Noelle could say or do anything, she found herself knocked against the wall, his hand around her throat. His strength was inhuman as he raised her in the air until her feet dangled off of the floor.

She tried to open her mouth to speak, knowing she could make him see reason once he realized who she was. But she could only whizz incoherent sounds against the tight grip of his hand.

Her arms flailed around, and as he squeezed further, she realized she needed to do something or she’d really replace herself in trouble.

She brought her hands around his wrist, tugging it to give herself some breathing room while at the same time kicking at him so he would let go.

Panic swelled inside of her the more she struggled with little results to show for, only more anger emanating from him in rippling waves.

In her effort to free herself from his hold, she managed to hit him in the stomach long enough for him to loosen his grip. Noelle slid to the floor, gasping for breath. But Raf wasn’t deterred. In his mind she was the enemy and he wouldn’t rest until he got to her.

She crawled on the floor in an attempt to put space between the two of them, but she barely got her breathing under control before he was on her again, this time pinning her to the ground with his body.

She moved wildly under him, terror clamoring inside of her as her body remembered previous abuses. And when his hand came down on her, she instinctively shrunk back, all fight leaving her body as previous trauma came back to the surface.

“Please don’t,” she cried out, feeling as though she was drowning in her own body.

Her ears rang, her mind was slipping from her as she saw herself back in the past, writhing in pain on the floor as she tried her best to protect herself from the incoming blows.

“Please,” she wailed. “Stop,” she cried in a ragged voice.

Noelle squeezed her eyes shut as she waited for the pain to come—it always came.

So ready she was for it that even the slightest touch burned her skin. Yet the brutal blows never came—the pain never came.

She dared creep her eyes open to replace Raf staring at her in complete shock.

His body was still on top of hers, his hips cradled between her thighs as he rested his weight on his arms on either side of her.

Still, he did nothing more.

He just… stared at her. First, he recognized her voice. Then his eyes dipped to her neck where the necklace he’d given her lay against her skin.

“How?” he asked, his voice anguished.

“Raf,” Noelle whimpered.

“You lied to me,” he growled viciously. “You fucking lied to me!”

“I can explain. Please let me go,” she whispered, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears.

All her bravado had flown out the window and she felt at such an utter loss, she didn’t know what to do or how to react.

“Lucero, huh?” he asked, his tone sinister. “You played me for a fool for months. You fucking bitch,” he rasped out, one hand coming around her neck again. Yet he wasn’t hurting her. At least not as she’d imagined he would. He only kept her rooted to the spot, perfectly restrained.

“Was it fun? Taking the piss out of me?”

“Raf, please…” Noelle whispered, her eyes growing wide with fear.

She didn’t know this Raf. While she was aware he was on those drugs, she couldn’t have ever imagined him to be quite so… aggressive.

“Please what? What the hell was your goal? Make me fall in love with you and then laugh in my face? Laugh at the poor slave that thought he could have a chance with his mistress?” He gave a dry laugh. “They don’t call you la diabla for nothing, do they?” He sneered.

“I can explain. It wasn’t a game. I swear I wasn’t trying to fool you. Everything I said was real. Everything!” she cried out.

But her words didn’t seem to have any effect on him. If anything, they made him angrier, his face contorting as he gazed down upon her.

“I should fucking kill you,” he rasped, his nostrils flaring.

At the same time, both his hands closed over her throat, the pressure increasing exponentially.

Noelle blinked in shock, her mouth dropping open as she could not replace the words to rebut him. What could she say, when he was right? When she was guilty.

“Then kill me,” she whispered, the words low and anguished. “Kill me if that’s going to make it better. But it doesn’t change the truth—that I love you. And I think you love me too.”

His eyes widened, his long lashes fluttering once, twice.

Slowly, his grip loosened until Noelle could finally drag a proper breath into her battered lungs.

Raf leaned back, still staring at her.

“Raf… Please listen to me.” She swallowed hard, bringing her hand to massage her neck. “I…”

“You need to leave,” he said, tension vibrating off him. “You need to leave. Now! Or I will make good on that promise and kill you.”

Noelle was taken aback by his words, just as she was by what she saw in his eyes.

He meant it.

He was truly going to kill her.

Her heart beating wildly in her chest—from sheer panic or horror, she didn’t know—she scrambled from underneath him, dragging herself off the floor. Her legs shook. Her entire body was trembling.

But it wasn’t as bad as Raf’s.

Shudders racked his body as he held himself immobile on the ground, his jaw locked tight, his muscles bulging in his arms.

“Run!” he shouted.

Noelle ran.