The Second Hand Man
June 6th, 1996

I was nearingmy office today when Nikki approached from the opposite direction, lookingperturbed.

She stoppedme. “Good day, Mr. Crane! Always a pleasure to see you sir.”

“Hi, Nikki!How are you?” I suddenly realized that calling her Nikki was too friendly andfamiliar. “Uh, Miss Kurtzman, is it?”

“Lost!”

“What?”

“I got a wallat home full of degrees and diplomas and I can’t replace the goddamned canteen.I’m lost! This building is kinda confusing. They should shoot the designer.”

“I designedit!”

“Oops!” shesaid slapping a hand over her mouth. “There I go again, putting my foot in it.”

“You saidit!”

“I’m sorry!”

“It’s okay.Don’t worry you’ll get used to the layout soon enough.”

“No, I mean,‘I’m sorry’ as in ‘Can you clear something up for me?’” She frowned and staredat me. “Are you sure you don’t know me from somewhere? Have we met somewherebefore that I don’t recall? Have I ever done something, besides criticizingyour architectural skills, to earn your disapproval?”

I was amazedat her powers of perception. “Why are you asking?”

“Well,Steve…Mr. Ferran said that you were very much against having me work atGlobal?”

“Steve’s gota big mouth!”

“Then it’strue? Why?”

“Because Iknow what you’re capable of doing.”

“You thinkI’m incapable?”

“Not at all!I said, ‘Because I know what you are capable of doing?’”

“What? What’sthat supposed to mean? You hardly know me? I’ve barely been here a week.” Thensuddenly she seemed to realize something. “Oh my God! Don’t tell me you were atClub 501 on the night I did my…little thing?”

That was amost enlightening declaration. I needed to know more. I lied through my teeth.“That’s right!”

“Look, thatwas a long, long time ago and I’d had too much to drink! I was celebratinggetting my MSc for goodness sakes. Don’t tell me you’ve never let your hairdown a little? Oh, God, this is so embarrassing.”

She was lyingtoo. Her face hadn’t flushed in the least. In fact, I could see by the gleam inher eye that she was proud of her…little thing.

I needed topry some more out of her. “Is that what you call it what you did? ‘Letting yourhair down a little?’”

“Okay, I leta little more down than just my hair.”

I twisted thescrew even more. “A little more?”

“Alright, soit was everything! But none of the guys seemed to mind. In fact everybody wascheering me on.”

“Everybody?The girls too?”

“Well, itcertainly seemed that way to me at the time. That is, everybody but you, by thelooks of things?”

“Great wayfor an…intellectual to reason and…behave?”

“If you wereso disgusted why’d you watch?”

“Let’s say itwas more in disbelief than admiration.”

“So, are yougonna hold that over me for the rest of my life.”

“No, just forthe rest of your days at Global.”

“That’scalled, victimization!”

“And that wascalled, indecent exposure.”

“There’snothing indecent about my body. I’m proud of every inch.”

I smiled.“And that gives you the right to show it off – like that?”

“After thatshow, I’m amazed you even remembered my face?”

I hatedmyself for laughing out loud. “Well, just goes to show where my mind really wasat the time!”

She smiledback. “So, the unbendable stone man flinches. We’re human after all? I tell youwhat, why don’t you show me where the canteen is and I’ll buy you a coffee? Giveme a chance to apologize properly for my…sordid past?”

“You wannabuy the big boss a coffee?”

“Sure, whynot. There’s a first for everything. Come mix with the riff raff for awhile.Get to know your workforce from the inside. Who knows, maybe you might evenpick up something about the strike we’re all planning for next week? It’s aboutunfair victimization of sexy female employees because of past misdemeanors.”

“No thankyou!”

“Why not?”

“The coffeetastes like shit. That’s why I got my own…”

“How about adrink then?”

“I don’tallow alcohol on the premises.”

“I wasthinking after work?”

“No thanks.”

“Why not?”

“I’ve alreadyseen what alcohol does to you. What if you suddenly got the…urge again? ThenI’d end up being the embarrassed one when the scandal got to the papers.”

“I’ll begood! I promise!”

“I’m afraidCandice wouldn’t approve.” Candice was my imaginary lover. The one I alwaysused when it became necessary to discourage persistent woman who could nevertake no for an answer.

“Candice?”

“My fiancé.”

“You’regetting married?”

“You soundsurprised?”

“The papersand magazines haven’t said anything…”

“You’vebeen…monitoring my personal life?”

“Yep!Everything! Even the scandals!”

“Oh, I,uh…respect your candor.”

“No, relax,it’s not what you think. I decided to do my homework before the interview. Ithought it might be…required reading.”

“Well, if notpersistent, you certainly are thorough.”

“That’s me;real dedicated. I work hard and I play even harder!”

“Yes, we’vealready established that. You’re a…hard dedicated woman.”

“I may behard on the outside, but that’s what living in a man’s world will do to you.Inside, I’m still an old-fashioned, sweet, liquid-centered gal with a woman’sneeds and desires.”

I suddenlyfelt uncomfortably aroused by her unusual metaphor. I quickly asked, “So, whatexactly is it you do here at Global?”

“I thoughtyou knew?”

“Just becauseI’m the big boss doesn’t mean I know everything that happens in…or aroundGlobal. I smiled again.

“I guess youreally aren’t gonna let Club 501 go – are you?”

“Nope.”

“I assistSteve in his lab. Mostly, I’m in charge of the primates.”

“I never knewyou had experience with that sort of thing?”

“See, youdon’t know me that well! I got plenty experience in that field; more thanenough to be capable!”

“How come Meldidn’t apply for the job? I was really hoping that she…”

“Mel? Youknow Melanie Edwards? She never told me that you two know each other?”

“We don’t. Ijust know…of her. I might not know everything in and around Global, but I trymy best. I was expecting to see her file on Steve’s desk as well.”

Nikki quicklymuttered, “She changed her mind.”

“Did you helpher change it?”

“What’s thatsupposed to mean? There you go again?”

“Forget it!So, do you like working with a lot of monkeys?”

She smiledmischievously. “Steve’s okay, I guess. A banana or three and he’s quite happy.”I laughed loudly again, and she said, “You really should try to smile moreoften. It suits you better than that silly weighty demeanor of pride and powerand earnestness.” She narrowed her eyes at me. “What were you doing at the 501anyway? It’s not the sort of…establishment that most people of your…”

I avoided thequestion with, “I must tell Steve that one.”

“Don’t youdare!”

“He’s my bestfriend. We don’t keep secrets.”

“Really?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I wouldnever have guessed?”

“Oh, yeah! Hedoesn’t know it yet, but I’m strongly considering giving him a large percentageof the company’s shares.”

Her narrowedeyes widened large and bright. “Yeah? When? What sort of percentage are we lookingat?”

“We?”

“It’s afigure of speech. So?”

“That’sconfidential information. Not for the common riff raff!”

“Fine!Anyhow, if you feel you have to tell him about my little joke, please do it inthe vein it was meant.”

“Which was?”

“Just afriendly gag. No harm meant.”

“Yeah, sure?”

“What’s thatsupposed to mean?”

“Nothing.”

“Didn’t seemlike nothing to me. God, I hate the way you seem to know more about me than Iactually seem to realize. Is there something else about me that you know?”

“Is theresomething else that I should know?”

“Well, Ioffered you the opportunity to get to know me better, but Candice wouldn’tapprove. Candice who, if I may ask?”

“You may not.We’re keeping it as hush hush as possible.”

“Fine! Well,I wish you and your fiancé all the best then. Are you quite sure I can’tinterest you in just a coffee then?”

“Dead sure.”I pointed to the stairwell. “Go down to the next floor. Turn left and keepgoing. You can’t miss it. If you replace yourself in the parking lot – you did!”

She walked offwith an unnatural swagger of her hips.

I waited tillshe had disappeared down the stairs before talking to my imaginary lover.“Woof! What an incredible woman! One can’t help but admire her…persistence.Candice, honey, I think you’ve just saved me, yet again, from the clutches ofone of those terrible harpies.” I pondered a moment before asking, “Oh, remindme to make a mental note? The next time I jump back into the past, I want to besure I know exactly which night it is that I need to pay a visit to Club 501?”After another short pause I said, “What? Of course not! Don’t be silly! I’mjust mildly curious is all.” I walked towards my office. “You know you’re theonly girl for me. Well, okay, you and Sophia Loren.” I whistled merrily. “What?Yes, of course you’ll also be going back. It stands to reason, doesn’t it?Where I go – you go! You’re a figment of my goddamned imagination!”

At first Ihad been surprised at Nikki’s persistent advances. In my first life she had hadeyes for Steve only. Hence the reason for my envy when the Amazon Queen hadchosen to shower him, and only him, with all her undivided attention andaffections.

Onconsidering the matter, the answer to my puzzlement is blaringly obvious – I’mnow the guy with all the money.

Global belongsto me alone!

I guess in myfirst life, Steve, being ten years younger than me, had seemed like the betterof two possible choices.

And, as Ihave already mentioned, I am eternally grateful that I had not been her firstchoice.

Today, shehad seemed to have an indifferent, even contemptuous attitude towards Steve.That was until…

God, I hopetelling her about the company shares hasn’t sent her hunting after the same managain. That would truly be disastrous.

What was Ithinking when I told her that? I had only meant to emphasize mine and Steve’sfriendship, instead I may well have doomed my friend to once again suffer thepain of a scheming, two-timing (In every sense of the word) wife.

I haveliterally seen history repeating itself many times in this new second life, butthat is the one thing that I had hoped we…I could prevent.

It was theonly thing that Steve had asked of me. The only price he had demanded forsaving my life; for helping me return to the past.

And now,ironically, when I could at last have had her for myself, my spurning of heradvances may just have driven her (back) into the arms of the one man that Ihad hoped she would never have even met.

Perhaps fatehas a way of making things happen the way they were meant to be? Yep, just whenyou think you’re over the junkyard fence, fate sneaks up and bites you in thearse.

It’s obviousthat the man is already infatuated by both her brains and beauty!

My attempt toprevent Nikki being employed at Global has already soured our friendship. How doI get rid of her without incurring anymore of Steve’s displeasure?

I gotta dosomething – but what?

What?