The Secret Island
CHAPTER 33: In the Rain

It was easily the most senseless request. Celine seemed confused. She probably thought he had hit his head somewhere and lost all sensibility.

"Going out when it is raining this hard? Are you sure it's safe? What if the storm got worse and we got hit with broken branches from a strong wind? You know, in London in the last Storm Eunice, the wind ripped out some roofs and tore down some tree branches. Storms are dangerous." She was concerned for a good reason. She must think he had lost his mind, which was not far from the truth. He didn't intend for us to walk that far, just a beach near the villa.

"The rain is getting better. It's started to drizzle. The wind is not that strong. I think it's walkable. Can you please accompany me out?"

Martin gave her a pleading look. He learned from the best; he learned that look from her, and he hoped it worked. Yes, he didn't have to wait long. The look worked as expected. Although she seemed perplexed, Celine reluctantly let him take her hand, and we walked outside together anyway, even though she didn't quite understand what she was going to do and why.

"You haven't told me why we are out here in the rain? We might get a cold."

He totally got it if she couldn't understand.

Since he was a student, if he couldn't think and if it was raining, he would go out and walk in the rain. It was his ways of feeling nature, getting wet, and looking up at the vast gloomy sky that matched his mood. Under the pouring rain, he allowed himself to be weak. The rain melted his invincible mental armor. He wanted to speak the truth.

Under the rain was a sacred place; it was the only place he could be vulnerable. People have ways to step out of their own characters. Martin didn't know how she would take seeing him being weak. But he had to say it. He had to tell her. He couldn't hide it any longer.

This time he would tell her, his Celine, his girl.

He had to tell her what he truly felt. Not words of comfort. Not a plea. But his true feeling.

"I have to say it honestly. My heart aches every time I see you sad." His voice was loud, competing with the sounds of the rain. It wasn't a drizzle outside as he expected, but the continuous heavy rain drenched the two of them. They were soaking wet, and no one cared.

Celine frowned. She didn't understand...and looked so miserable. He had to pull her in for an embrace.

The cold wind and the pouring rain were no different from the feeling inside his heart.

Under the rain, no one knew he was crying.

"Every time you look at me, your eyes tell everything. I know you don't want us to break up, and I'm a despicable man for not being able to promise anything. And I know that fact hurts you, and I'm sorry. Celine, I'm deeply sorry." The words that he wanted to say started pouring out, just like the tears Celine could never see.

"I'm lost, too. I'm wretched beyond words. I'm sorry I'm selfish. And in the process of trying to live our last few days here together, I have made you deeply sad. I'm sorry I can't give you a future with me in it. I'm sorry I've robbed you of the smile I saw so often on our first few days together."

The woman in his arms shivered. She was silent. And Martin could only whisper in her ear with a trembling voice.

"I'm sorry I'm selfish. I'm sorry...."

"So, all I want to ask you...is that...can we be each other's joy in our remaining few days? Our time is numbered, and our minds live in the unforeseeable future. Can we truly live in the present? Because now is all we have. Please, I beg you, please."

He cried. Then he sobbed. He sobbed like he had never done for a long time. The rain mixed in with his tears and he didn't realize if he was really crying.

Martin didn't know how long he had been talking. But once he knew it, the woman in his arms struggled to push him away.

Her two hands cupped his face. He looked deep into her determined eyes. She had made a decision. And Celine said those sweet words that could be clearly heard even under the strong wind. "I love you."

Her confession stopped his whole world. His face was hot. The cold wind had no effect on him as her eyes warmed his heart.

She smiled at him.

"In the present that we are here together now, I love you...." And she kissed him.

"Tomorrow, I will love you." Celine touched his neck, pulled him closer, and kissed him again.

"And one day, when we will no longer be together, that day that even though everything is uncertain-I will love you like this...."

She held him tight. As he looked into her eyes, her eyes shone differently; they did not give out sorrowful glints like earlier. But he could feel that she was...relieved? She was relieved she said it out?

"I love you despite not knowing how you feel. I love you despite having no clue about the future. I've gone mad, don't you think?"

"At the present, of course, I'm happy, you are here with me, how can I not be happy?"

He hugged her tightly and closed his eyes. In truth, it might be her that was a stronger, more resilient one in this. And it may not be him that depended on her.

"Please don't cry, Martin. Just having the opportunity to be with you, to be together, just to be able to tell you my feeling, just this-I am happy. Don't worry about me."

Once Martin opened his eyes, the rain had stopped.