The Slave of Pleasure
Chapter 75

Rachel

I was completely devastated. Each word Vincenzo said hit me like a blow, but when I looked at Nancy, I saw something I hadn't expected. Her eyes, always so lively and unpredictable, now seemed distant, filled with a deep sadness. I felt a shiver run down my spine when she, in a soft and almost indifferent tone of voice, confessed that the same thing had happened to her. Only, in her case, the worst of it was that it hadn't been an outsider, like in Vincenzo's case. It had been someone from within her own family.

My heart stopped for a moment. The words could barely form in my mouth, but I managed to ask with difficulty: "Was it an uncle of yours?" She made an almost imperceptible movement with her head, confirming, but then she said something that left me even more disgusted and astonished. "Uncles," she said, in the plural.

I couldn't breathe properly. The idea of someone going through something like that was already horrible, but knowing that Nancy, this woman I had begun to understand a little better, had been the victim of more than one person, within her own family, was devastating. A wave of disgust and anger ran through me. How could someone do that? How could several people from the same family destroy a person like that? Nancy seemed distant, almost as if she were talking about someone else. Maybe this was her way of dealing with the trauma-dissociating herself from the pain in order to continue surviving. And there I was, in the middle of those two, wondering how they managed to move forward carrying this unbearable weight. As much as I tried to remain calm, my mind was racing. I thought about all the moments I had lived with them up until now and wondered how I had never realized something so deep, so dark. Sure, Vincenzo had always been reserved and controlled, but there was an intensity in his actions, in his way of being, that now made more sense. Nancy, with her apparent madness and unpredictable behavior, was also beginning to reveal herself in a new light. That unpredictability, that chaotic way... it was her way of escaping a reality she couldn't face.

I looked at Vincenzo and then at Nancy, and for the first time, I felt like I understood the dynamic between them better. It wasn't just a question of power or control. It went deeper. They were two broken souls who had found a connection in the midst of pain and chaos. And now here I was, trying to process it all, wondering what my role was in this tangle of trauma and secrets.

I wanted to say something, anything, but the words just wouldn't come. What can one say in the face of revelations like these? How can I comfort them or help them deal with these wounds that never healed? I felt small and helpless, as if all I could do was listen and try to understand. But could I really understand what they had been through? I, who had never experienced anything so brutal?

Suddenly, everything around me seemed so insignificant. The questions I had, the mysteries I wanted to unravel about that house, about their relationships, all of it seemed trivial in the face of the truths that had just been revealed. It wasn't about power, games, or secrets. It was about pain, a pain that had shaped who they were. Nancy, still with her eyes far away, let out a sigh, as if revealing her story had lifted a weight from her shoulders. But I knew that the weight was still there, even if she tried to ignore it. Vincenzo, beside her, remained serious, but there was a vulnerability in his gaze that I had never seen before. And me? All I could think about was how those two people, so scarred by life, still managed to move forward, even with their souls so wounded. I felt like I had to do something, but at the same time, I was paralyzed by horror and compassion. I wanted to hug them, to tell them that everything would be okay, but I knew that would be a lie. There was no way to erase the past. I sat there, trying to absorb everything I had just heard. The truth about Vincenzo and Nancy's past was now clear, but it was overwhelming. All the pieces finally made sense their pain-ridden personalities, their unpredictable behaviors, the walls they had both built around themselves. These weren't choices. These were the deep scars of traumas that had been inflicted on them in cruel ways when they were too vulnerable to defend themselves.

I looked at Vincenzo, who looked both relieved and crushed by the weight of his confession. The relief of finally telling me, but the pain of being seen in a light he had never wanted to reveal. He avoided my gaze, his eyes distant, as if he wanted to disappear in that moment. I knew he was afraid I would see him with pity, which he would probably hate. The last thing he wanted was for me to treat him like a victim.

"I'm going back to my room," I said. and he quietly, his voice full of sadness, as he stood up. Vincenzo looked ashamed, and it broke my heart. He carried that secret like a heavy cross, believing that no one would ever understand it, that no one should ever know. And now, having revealed everything, he seemed to want to hide again, to close himself off in the solitude of his own world.

"Vincenzo!" I said, standing up abruptly, calling his name loudly, hoping he would stop. My voice came out stronger than I expected, full of emotion. I wanted him to know that he didn't need to walk away, that I was here, ready to support him. But he didn't look back. He just walked away from me and Nancy, his body tense as if he were carrying an invisible burden.

I took a step forward, intending to go after him, to make him listen to me, to convince him not to isolate himself again. But before I could go, I felt Nancy's hand on my arm, stopping me. "Leave him," she said softly. "We all need time to process the hurts of the past. Some of them never go away, Rachel. We need to learn to live with them." Nancy's words hit me hard. She was right. I couldn't force Vincenzo to deal with all of this at once. He needed his own time, his own way to face these demons that had haunted him since childhood. As much as I wanted to be a source of support, I also needed to respect his space. Sadness enveloped me like a heavy cloud. I wanted to help, I wanted to be the pillar they needed, but I felt helpless. The empathy that grew in my chest was overwhelming. I couldn't imagine the depth of pain Vincenzo and Nancy carried. The traumas, the scars, it was all part of who they were today. No matter how hard they tried to move away from it, the past would never leave them alone. Nancy let go of my arm, and I looked at her. She had that tired look in her eyes, the look of someone who had tried to bury their own pain countless times, without success. "I know you want to help," she said, her voice soft, "but some wounds can't be healed by someone else. He needs to deal with it in his own time."

I sighed, feeling my eyes sting. These revelations had affected me more than I could admit. Their pain was now a part of me, in a way. I wanted to fight for them, for us, but I knew that some battles were lonely. And this was one of them. I sat back down, silence filling the space between me and Nancy. We were united in our shared pain, but our hands were also tied. All we could do was wait.