The Stars are Dying : (Nytefall: Book 1)
The Stars are Dying: Chapter 16

The fire dwindled to embers I wished I could reignite with my will alone. My tears fell silently down my cheeks. As much as I despised each one, I couldn’t stop; the exhaustion kept me down. I barely slept and greeted the new dawn with reluctance.

Lilith kneeled by the window, muttering quiet words with her eyes closed and her hands clasped to her chest. The sun streaking over her gave off the most ethereal glow. I didn’t disturb her until she’d finished, when she opened her eyes and gave the new dawn a smile.

“Was that a prayer?” I asked softly, unable to raise my head.

There had been times I’d gone months without seeing Cassia and my voice had grown hollow. There was little else that could bring joy like she did. But as I propped myself up, I felt no more than a ghost. This time I would never see her again.

“Yes. To the Mother, who has kept me safe. And to Dusk and Dawn for the safety of their daughter they blessed us with.” She turned to me with such brightness at my interest. “Do you pray to your god? I know some don’t.”

My god… The question only offered more mysteries that eluded me. “I’m not sure who I would pray to.”

Lilith didn’t pass any judgment. She stood, brushing down her light green gown. “The vampires worship their creator, the God of Death. The humans sometimes remember theirs, the God of Fate. The celestials mostly favor theirs, the God of Dusk and the Goddess of Dawn. But most species pray to them for giving us a mortal deity for peace. I don’t believe people are tied to what their birth or creation dictates. And I don’t think the gods would reject anyone’s will to change. For good or evil. The soul of a person has its own free will.”

I didn’t want to weigh down her hopeful expression as she talked of the gods. I was sure they had abandoned us. Or if they still existed, maybe I would curse them instead of worship them and make things worse for myself.

Lilith diverted. “Your wears are of impeccable design. Though I apologize—your dress might not be salvageable from the damage.”

I wouldn’t normally care for something so petty, yet my mind wanted me to suffer the punishment, feeling broken with the news, knowing Cassia had purchased the dress for me.

“Oh, it’s no matter!” Lilith chirped at my sadness. I wanted to smile. She deserved it, and I admired her positive company. “We have plenty here. I’m sure we’ll replace you something. Come!”

Everything in me cried out in protest for me to lie back down, but I couldn’t take advantage of her hospitality. I had to move on, though I had no idea where I would go. Nothing physical could touch the crushing weight of what was turning my body to steel. The effort to draw my legs up, to stand, became my penance for still being alive.

Lilith watched me with a falling expression until our eyes met and she beamed as if I wouldn’t notice her pity. What I greatly appreciated about her was that she never asked what kept me so despairing.

I followed her mindlessly into another room, which turned out to be the biggest closet I’d ever stood in. I found temporary distraction in the clothing that had always fascinated me. There were countless dresses in here, but I gravitated toward the back, where a beautiful outfit was displayed on a mannequin.

“My mother is a fighter,” Lilith said, pride coating her voice as she came up beside me. “She competed in the trials to be the Selected.”

My gaze snapped to her, and she delighted in my interest. “Where are your parents right now?”

“They were personally invited to the Keep for the send-off by Reigning Lord Reihan.”

I had to take a few deep breaths through my stab of grief. Stars, the thought of Reihan’s agony when Calix would take Cassia’s body back made my head pound.

“You did not go with them?” I asked.

Lilith played with a strand of her green hair as if it went with her answer. “They do not like me being in public. My mother is human, but in binding her life to my father’s she extends her years. My father looked like me once. Some fae can blend in with the humans far easier, and my father…” She flinched, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “He cropped his ears many years ago and files his horns to disguise himself. His green hair could easily be the result of a human consuming Starlight Matter.”

I was impacted by the revelation, sickened by the measures her father had to resort to just for a breath of freedom with his wife.

“I once thought I could do it too, but…it’s unimaginably painful. His horns grow back, and he must do it again at least twice a year. His ears had to be cut continuously for weeks as they tried to heal themselves too fast. The points got shorter and shorter, and with some healing enhancements they are now as rounded and smooth as a human’s.”

I didn’t realize my hand had covered my mouth with the tale. I couldn’t fathom the beauty of Lilith’s fae attributes being so barbarically removed out of desperation.

“You should stay here a while longer. At least until my parents are back. They will know how to help get you home safe.”

I had no home. No one waiting for me. “Thank you, but I must leave today.” I wouldn’t be their burden. I turned to look back over the garments.

“I think Cassia Vernhalla will win the Libertatem for us. Then we’ll be free to wander as we please without fear.”

The room swayed. My fingers flexed against material as I caught myself on a shelf.

“Are you still unwell?”

I had been so selfish in my grief and what Cassia’s death meant to me that I hadn’t considered the damning fate of so many others. An entire kingdom. With their Selected gone…

“What happens if the Selected never makes it to the Central?” I asked with cold trepidation.

Lilith frowned. “Their kingdom’s borders would be locked immediately. No citizens would be allowed to leave or choose another candidate for their realm to possibly win immunity.”

My eyes closed as my vision peppered, and I crouched slowly until my knees met the carpeted floor. Lilith took my arm to help, her concern growing.

“I’ll get you some water.”

I took hold of her forearm. She searched my eyes, and I could only imagine the dread in mine.

“Your mother—” It was the first conclusion I frantically drew. “Could she take the Selected’s place now?”

The slow shake of Lilith’s head made my hold on her drop. I stared at the ground, overcome with the kingdom’s heavy loss. We were condemned, without a glimmer of hope, to be at the mercy of the vampires for another century.

“The king would not allow it. The Selected’s profiles are already circulating, and it would be unfair to those making the choice right now whether to stay in their kingdom or choose another— Astraea, are you all right?”

I couldn’t answer while my mind buzzed. I vaguely felt Lilith slip away from me and exit the closet. My eyes drifted up. The ensemble I was kneeling before stood powerful and beautiful, in some ways with the elegance of a dress: a bodice that hugged tight, material that crossed at the neckline to give a V shape. The cut in the skirts on each side reached right to the thick, intricate belt, and I imagined the fitted combat pants that would go with it. Decorative but with some small slots for daggers, I assumed.

Lilith returned, taking my hand and pressing a cool glass to it. “My mother said this is what she would have worn to the Central,” Lilith said quietly.

I swallowed over the lump in my throat, but it only grew, so I drank fast and greedily, and only when something stroked my senses did I realize I was envisioning being back in the black waters of yesterday, perhaps wishing to have drowned in them again, and my mind turned dark with the thought. For if I had…I wouldn’t be staring at the hopeful young fae beside me now, not knowing how to break the news that she would never be free.

It was a cowardly, selfish thought that made my eyes burn.

My chest pulsed. Three beats. A push toward something that overcame me. Something I wasn’t used to. Purpose. This beacon rejoiced at the thought, heating with new determination. To a plan that seemed laughable, but the more I processed it, the less protest I could muster for the reckless course of action.

We have to win.

Cassia had wanted this. She believed I could do it.

Do it for me. For all of us.

I cast my eyes up. Then they fell sideward to the hopeful friend I’d made. “Lilith?”

Her eyes lit up with acknowledgment and my face creased.

I would have longed for that recognition. To be known, seen. The Libertatem was our one hope in a century to have the freedom we deserved.

“I need your help.”