The Structural Silence (Book 1 of The Transition of Pinn)
A shiv (Chapter 4)

*Trigger warning for this chapter- sexual assault**

Ivy:

We have about an hour every day after lunch for ourselves and many of the women are using it to prepare. Some of the women said they were going to the gym, but I didn’t see the point. I wasn’t going to suddenly build up muscles I didn’t have in one workout session.

I decide instead to try wandering again. Maybe I would replace a weapon or a useful way out. It was better than crying in my room. More useful.

I take the first long bright corridor I come across and walk down a few steps before lifting my wristband to the panel next to the door. It slides open, scraping against the floor. Bright lights immediately flood the room. Peering in, I see a room filled with desks similar to the one I have had my classes in.

I walk in and immediately head to the large desk at the front of the room. It’s often used by whichever Pinn is teaching at the time. On the surface, there are only a couple of dark blue pens and two pieces of paper stuck to the desk. The top one is covered in a language that I cannot begin to understand, interestingly written in Latin letters. The paper stuck below it is a class schedule in English.

I move my hand to the cold metal handle of the drawer. Of course, it doesn’t budge. I’m not sure what I am looking for anyway. I haven’t seen a teacher using anything that could be considered a weapon. Unless my plan is to take down our Pinn guards using a paperclip. Hmm… frowning I grab a pen. I already have a pen in my room but taking the pen feels as though I have achieved something with my search. Is a pen more or less dangerous than a dull butter knife? I really don’t know.

I decide to leave and walk across the hallway to enter another classroom. It is the mirror image of the last one except in this one the teacher left the remote for the display out on the desk. I grab it and shove it into my waistband. There are no pockets and no bras among the clothes our kidnappers gave us. I didn’t want to carry my replaces openly and so I could only hope that the elastic in the waistband of my pants was strong enough to hold the items and the shirt billowy enough that it wasn’t obvious to anyone passing by.

Two classrooms later I am still searching for something useful in a fight. It’s frustrating. I don’t have too much longer before I have to head back to my room to grab my things before heading to my class. I can only imagine all of the people who would be better at this than me.

Walking through the room, I feel the remote slip from my waistband, sliding down my leg before crashing into the floor. This is the third time it has slipped and I am beginning to think that I shouldn’t have taken it. I grab my long hair to keep it out of my face as I bend down to grab the remote from the floor. I toss the remote onto the simple grey pupil desk in front of me.

I snatch the pen in my waistband and set it next to the remote. Looking at my meager replaces I sigh. What is it that they always make in prison movies? A shiv? I need to make one of those. Of course I’m not quite sure how – where is Google when you need it? I feel like tape or a knife would be useful. Of course, if I had a knife I wouldn’t need to make a shiv.

I hear a rather quiet beeping sound from behind me. I turn in time to see the door slide open and for a Pinn to walk in. It was the tall unfriendly guard from the cafeteria that I talked to on my first day. However instead of the stern look he wore that day, he looks shocked to replace me there. I move in front of the desk to hide the items I had been carrying. I gulp.

“What..?” He looks at me questioning.

“I’m…I’m just exploring a little. Ya know? I hate sitting in my room” I am almost proud of myself. First time ever I was able to come up with a decent excuse on the spot. Being terrified does wonders.

The Pinn then smirks. “No need to make excuses little one. I know.”

Oh God. I feel the shocked expression on my face. “Um……. sorry?” I try to mask my shocked face with one of innocence. I don’t think it’s working.

He stalks towards me as I step back only to run into the desk. Soon he is standing close to me, looking down at my face as my breath catches in my throat. His dark blue eyes look darker than the first time I saw him.

“I’ve been admiring you too little one,” he says breathing over my face “I just didn’t realize you would memorize my route.”

What..? His head descends and then his lips crush mine in a punishing kiss. I place my hands on his chest and try to push him away. He wraps one of his muscled arms around me while placing another behind my head so I cannot back away. I smell his musky odor around me. He forces his tongue into my mouth. I try to tell him that there has been a misunderstanding but it comes out muffled underneath the rough wet kiss.

He suddenly spins me around so my back is plastered to his front, keeping his one arm wrapped around me and now trapping my arms as well. He begins kissing my neck. I can feel him rub his erection against my back through my clothing.

“Nooo…” I plead softly, almost whining.

“Shhh…. No need to be shy” He half-whispers into my ear. His other hand which had been cradling my head travels down my body, grabbing at my breast and hip roughly as it makes it way downward. His hand slips into my pants and then under my panties. He roughly grabs my crotch with coarse hands making me jolt back and accidentally press against his erection. He groans with pleasure.

I stare ahead and blink as tears begin to form in my eyes. I look down at the desk which my legs are pressed against. Maybe if I could reach the pen I could try to stab him in the leg, but it seems too far away and his arms are too tight around me.

I feel a callused finger rub my clit a few times. I feel dread rather than pleasure. I try to struggle against his hold but it’s not working. “Please... please no.” I beg him.

He continues to rub himself against me in rhythm with the strokes to my clit. He kisses my cheek, “just let go”

I shake my head. I feel the finger move and begin parting my folds. I tense up. He jerks his hand, plunging his finger inside of me, the sharp edges of his nails scraping my walls as my body clenches to prevent the intrusion.

He begins pumping his finger in and out of me. “Uh, so tight. So ready” he mumbles between sloppy kisses along my neck.

He is delusional. I don’t know what to do. I am no longer holding back and more tears cloud my eyes and begin to fall down my face. A sob escapes my lips. I don’t know if he doesn’t notice or if he is indifferent.

“Mr. Korper” a rather stern male voiced calls out.

Abruptly he pulls his hand out of my pants before turning to the voice.

“The females are not to be touched Mr. Korper”

I turn around and peer from behind the guard. Standing near the door with a stern face is Mr. Hertilz. I move from behind the guard, inching away from him as he stares down the intruder.

“She wanted to be touched” my attacker replies harshly.

The teacher turns to me. I freeze. I have now managed to get out from behind the guard and am partway to the side of the room. He raises an immaculate eyebrow at me taking in what must be a messy appearance with tears and snot running down my face, hair sticking my tears. I wrap my arms around myself.

He turns back to the guard “I don’t care if she was begging for it on her knees, this is the second time I have caught you. I will have to talk to your superior”

“Come on Mr. Hertilz. You can’t tell me you never sampled any of the merchandise. It’s what they’re here for.”

“Miss Ivy, if you would be so kind as to go back to your room,” the teacher says without taking his eyes off the guard.

I look between them. The guard is much larger than the teacher. He would win any fight. I bite my lip. Yeah, no, I’m not sticking around. I scurry as fast as I can past the teacher and through the door. The halls to my room are a blur as rush past anyone I see. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to explain.

As I enter my room and as I hear the door slides shut behind me, clicking shut. I just collapse.