Thorned Shadow [+18]
Chapter 8

Cerelia was used to fear. It would claw at her skin, wrap itself in her thoughts, darkening them until she was screaming and clawing at her own body for death to come.

This was a strange sort of fear. She had a fear of males, and females, rarely allowed to touch but they understood her. Emrys understood she didn’t like to be touched without her even saying a word. He kept his distance but always kept a warm smile on his face. Zemira had known after she had explained the horrors of her life.

Erix didn’t understand. He had touched her and she had been on the verge of drawing out blood once again, to make sure her mind didn’t go blank, to turn into a lifeless body she was so afraid of falling into. He had put a tiara on her head, had touched her face and everyone had watched. Could he not scent the fear on her? The Fae could do it, they could scent every emotion as she could do it too by spending so much time with them.

Erix had been calm, as if completely unbothered by people staring at them. She had not. Her heartbeat had echoed in her mind, a pounding in the silence to tell her to move, to get out of there.

She had run away. That was exactly twenty minutes ago and she had heard every word Emrys, Erix and Katara had shared in the hallway. She had sat on the stairs, a male guard behind her, holding the door open in case she wanted to go to her room but she had just sat, listening.

“She humiliated me!” Erix snarled.

“What did you do?” Emrys questioned. “She came running inside with blood on her hands!”

“I did nothing!”

“Erix, look at her blood. It’s on the floor as well. Did something happen?” Katara had asked softly.

Erix snarled more viciously. “She gave me food, which you fucking know what it means, Emrys. So I thought she would fucking know since you like acting like her best fucking friend.” He was angry. “So I did the same thing. I put a fucking tiara on her head. I didn’t even touch her. You warned me not touch her body so I fucking didn’t. I just put a tiara on her head and then she ran away!”

“It’s okay.” Katara said, her voice gently.

“No it’s not.” He was snarling like a beast to his lover. “I’m going to kill her. I’m going to have her fucking heart in my hands.”

“Hurt her-” Emrys warned in a voice she hadn’t ever heard him speak. “And I take the crown away from you. I’ll give it to Orson, your cousin. I swear to the fucking Gods,Erix. You can use as much magic and darkness as you want, but you hurt her and I will kill you and will damn all the fae to death.”

“You are a fae! Not a fucking witch so stop protecting her!”

“If you can think with your head and not your cock, Erix, you’ll see a completely different person.”

Katara had growled.

“You, I hate you here because when the fate is working its fucking ass off to get two people together, you’re working your way against that. Why don’t you go back to your own realm and let me deal with the problem in hand?!” Emrys had raised his voice at Katara.

“You want him to marry a witch who won’t allow anyone to touch her? I’ve seen her in my realm. I remember her voice the day I escaped. Gods fucking know how long she was locked in the dungeons but shes been abused, sexually and I don’t even want to say what else she’s been through but that doesn’t matter to anyone, does it? You’re just going to blame Erix for touching her hair and making her run for the hills when you should be looking at Cerelia who’s not ready to be touched, let alone marry.”

“What?” Erix and Emrys had said together, as Katara’s words registered in their minds.

“It’s her story to tell. Not mine.” Katara had answered softly.

A part of her had hated Katara at that point but Cerelia had wiped the tears from her face, had looked down at her palms that were healed, and walked away from the silent guard who had said nothing as they listened to everything that was said about her.

She did not wish to tell them what had happened to her. Zemira was the only person who knew, not even Aideen and the High Witch knew of her nightmares but Katara had hinted that she knew and everything was suddenly crumbling down in her life.

She didn’t want to be a weak female, to see pity in their eyes for her. She wanted them to acknowledge her as a queen, as a witch who barely knew anything about herself.

Cerelia left the door open to her room and picked up the cotton cream gown with long but wide sleeves. The dress was loose on her body and she liked the feel of it. She stepped out of the tight fitted purple gown before taking the silver tiara off and placing it on the bed. It was not even lunch time but she was tired of everything.

She pulled the gown over her head, pushing her hands through her sleeves and wore the dark purple shoes again. The gown felt free against her body, flowing with every step she took.

Cerelia walked out of the room, and walked towards the door which was immediately opened by the male guard. She wanted to forget the mistake of showing a weakness she had made as she stepped out of the door. “Is there a library I could use?” She asked softly, holding her hands behind her back.

He blinked in shock that she was talking to him. “Of course your majesty. Would you like me to show you where it is? Would you like me to call Nyota or Emrys?” He talked quickly, standing slightly taller.

He was a young boy, looking as if he was only sixteen but he had a sword, a hand against it as if he knew how to use it. “Could you please show me where it is?”

He immediately nodded, walking downstairs but keeping a wide distance to her. “My name is Cadmus, your majesty.” He introduced himself as he held the door for her. He walked through the door, his fingers stretched against the door and she walked out.

“Call me Cerelia please.”

He nodded his head, and she knew he would not call her that. He seemed to really want to please her as her guard because he looked left and right, as if assessing the halls of any danger before motioning her forward. She hid a small smile from her face as she followed him.

“My friends and I are really happy to serve you.” He said, looking over his shoulder at her. “When Emrys said a queen was to arrive, we couldn’t be any more happy.”

“Why would that make you happy?” She asked, falling in line with him as she quickened her pace.

Cadmus grinned. “Our king is hardly paying attention to what his people want but I know queens, as disrespectful and sexist as it could sound, but females are more caring and I think our kingdom needs a queen to rule over it.”

“I think the Fae do not like me.” She said truthfully, remembering the glares. “It will be very hard to please them.” If she even tried.

He nodded his head. “I understand. I think us, bastards- apologies your majesty-” He quickly muttered before talking again. “Us Fae, we don’t like change a lot. We adjust to it very hard and can take centuries or even months. It depends on what type of Queen you become.”

“What type of Queen would you like me to be, Cadmus?” She asked as he stopped beside two ancient looking doors. She looked up at him because even when he looked so young, he was still taller than her.

“A queen who listens.” He smiled at her and she nodded her head as he pushed open the door. A warm breeze wrapped around her, warming her cold body and heart.

She saw and heard the fire crackling. It was not a room but a floor, with no windows and dim lights. She gaped in awe as candles floated in the air, providing the only light in the library. “The books are magical so be careful. Sometimes they can hit your head.”

“Is anyone inside?” She questioned and Cadmus shook his head.

“Barely anyone comes into the library except for Emrys.” He answered. “Since the war has stopped, maybe someone will come to use the library.” He smiled at her. “Would you like me to come inside and guard the room or shall I wait out here for you?”

“You can stay here if you would like.” She said to him and he nodded, standing tall and beside the door. Cerelia walked inside and left the doors opened.

She took her shoes off besides the door and her feet touched the soft carpet. She wiggled her toes on the carpet, a small smile on her face as she walked inside. Maybe in this big library, there were a few books on witches.

Cerelia walked into the library, her hands moving over shelves after shelves, the books seeming to purr as she touched their spines. It was stupid of her to be in here when she found it hard to read, when the words on a piece of paper jumbled up, becoming words she didn’t know. The king had never given her a book to read but she only spoke the language so clearly, mimicking their accents and the way they spoke from females and males. They spoke with calmness, even when they would touch her body, their voices were calm.

She had kept her voice calm, testing out new words she had learnt every day in the dungeons until she could speak the language of the fae and witch fluently. “I’d like a book on witches, please.” She said softly to the library, hoping it would show the same kindness the ocean, Marik and the dragon, Roi, had shown her.

Instantly books flew out of shelves and she gaped as they came charging at her. Cerelia covered her face, bending her body, to hide from the angry books until the scent of pine and snow embraced her. She looked up, to see Erix standing a foot away from her and holding the books that had flown to attack her in his arms.

His golden eyes did not hold the pity she thought they would. He was rolling his eyes. “Did Cadmus not tell you this is a Fae library and though we have books on witches, the magic hates them?” He chuckled, glancing down at the books. ”The Life of a Witch, The Diary of the first Witch Alive, the Healing Witch, the big bad Witch- someone really tilted the book, the big bad witch?”

“Your kind really does hate witches, don’t they?” She said and he turned to look at her, those golden eyes shining with amusement.

What was so amusing again?

“I could also say your kind hates mine.”

She forced herself not to roll her eyes. “I assume the fae would have done something extremely terrible for witches to hate them.”

“What if it was the witches who killed the first fae king?”

“I do not believe that!” She thought of Agatha and Aideen, how Aideen hated the fae with a passion so strong, maybe it was possible for the witches to have killed the fae king.

“Or-” she could have sworn his eyes glowed. “The Fae King killed the Witch’s Queen? It could be anything really.”

She held her hand out for the books. “I hope the war stops now. I’d like to live a normal life.”

“What is normal?” He put the books in her arms and she held onto the six books as much as she could.

“Maybe they have a book on it.”

Immediately the warm air breezed through her hair and a book flew out from behind her slamming straight into Erix’s chest. She giggled. “How to be normal Fae 101.” He read the title before chuckling to himself. “Would you like me to carry those for you?” He asked, holding his own book in his hands, as if he truly wished to read it.

“I’m sure Cadmus would help with them.” She said, turning her back towards him and placing the books on the closest table. He followed her, his scent powering over her body, pushing the fear out of her mind and soul. “I think he likes the thought of being a guard.”

She could feel Erix behind her and she turned to see him leaning against one of the book shelves. “Cadmus is a distant cousin of mine.”

“You have a lot of cousins.” She said and he glanced up at her from the book he had opened. “I heard Emrys say Orson was your cousin as well.”

He nodded as he licked his lips and a sigh escaped them. “I’ve sent Orson away to deal with other issues.” He said vaguely and Cerelia nodded. “For our wedding, we would need to invite other Fae queens and Kings, the same for witches in other lands.”

“Ah.” She nodded, having no idea what to say so she turned around, looking at the pile of books. She tried to keep the apology from slipping past her lips, to be brave and to never apologise like Aideen had said, but she couldn’t. “I’m sorry for humiliating you by running away.” She would not explain and would not turn to look at the pity in his eyes.

“Surprisingly you are the first female to not fall to your knees for me.” Erix muttered, and her back stiffened. “Not like that I mean-” He breathed out. ” I meant- I’m sorry for what I said to Emrys about you. I’m assuming you’ve heard.”

“I have the senses of a Fae.” She turned around, lifting her body up a little and sitting back on the table. It was so unladylike of her not to use a seat when it was so close but it didn’t seem to matter as Erix raised an eyebrow.

“Oh really?”

She nodded her head. “I spent so much time around them, I’ve picked up the ancient language, as well as how aware they are of every touch, every feeling, every sound.” She counted on her fingers. “I also learnt what can anger a male and a female.” She was smiling to herself.

“What can anger a male?” He questioned, not turning the page he had been on for minutes as he glanced up at her.

“Well-” she spoke freely. “Males are very egoistic. They like to claim things, shouting this is mine or you are mine-” He stiffened at her words, his eyes fixated on her. “And then they like to snarl a lot, as if snarling proves they are a powerful male.”

He was frowning. She frowned in return. Had she said something completely wrong?

“And what angers a female?”

Cerelia shrugged one shoulder, no longer feeling the crown weighing on her head, a constant reminder to have her back straight and to look powerful. “It can vary. Some females can be very emotional. They, like males, like to claim their mate, to prove to the males and females who belong to them. They can let their emotions override their bodies.” She remembered the way so many females had been attached to her body, she remembered the way they had bit her neck.

“And other females?” His voice was low as he waited for her to answer.

“They can be hurtful when in anger.” She said softly. “Rather than punishing the one who made the mistake, they would take it out on an innocent. They’re so blinded by rage and power, they don’t care who they hurt, as long as they’re inflicting pain.”

“Which female are you?”

She looked up, a small smile on her own face as she jumped off the table a little, steading herself on her feet as she answered. “Neither. I am not a Fae.”

He chuckled as if remembering that. Cerelia pulled the books off the table but he instantly walked towards her, outstretched his own hands. “Let me carry them for you.” There was some sort of neediness inside of his eyes that had stopped glowing as they looked at her. She felt the calmness of his scent, as she lifted her arms and placed the books in his outstretched hands, her fingers brushing against his.

He held the books effortlessly. “Will you be reading them all tonight?” He questioned as she walked with him towards the open doors. The books were thin but it would take her a day to even read one if she could focus. She wore her shoes quickly.

“I might make Cadmus read them to me.” She smiled at the young boy who nodded his head at Erix before grinning at her in agreement. He walked ahead of the king and the queen, giving them their own space.

“I think he’d enjoy that more than anything.” Erix chuckled, holding the door for her. She thanked him, moving under his arm and walking through the door. “If you want to borrow this book-” He held the How To Be Normal book. “Just let me know, and I’ll give it to you. We could learn a thing or two about being normal.”

“Are you saying I am not normal?” She raised an eyebrow, the way she had seen others do, as she walked under his arm again as he held the door for her.

“I am saying we are both not normal.” He rolled his eyes as she walked in front of him, climbing the stairs towards the door, Cadmus held open.

She smiled at Cadmus who glanced into the hallway. “You have a visitor, your majesty.” He bowed his head, taking the roll of a silent guard once again.

She nodded her head, and before she could walk into the hallway, Erix pulled open the other door, angling his body around hers so he did not touch her and walked in front of her. She slowed down her steps, peeking around his large arm to see Katara standing there, completely and utterly naked.

Cerelia blinked, several times as Erix walked towards her. “What are you doing here?” He questioned.

She slipped under his arm again and into her own room as Katara winked at him. “Well I did try to replace you in your room, but you weren’t there. Then this maid told me you were in the library with Cerelia and I knew you would be the kind male you are-” she moved closer to him. “And would help her with her books.”

He didn’t let go of the books that he held with one hand and Cerelia immediately looked away, as with his free hand he cupped her in-between her thighs. “Are you wet for me?” He purred in her ear.

“All for you.” Katara moaned and instantly Cerelia heard a loud bang and she looked down, to see the books had fallen from his hands that now lifted a naked Katara before he disappeared from her view.

She waited for a few minutes, before she saw Cadmus appear. A sad smile was on his face as he bent down to lift the books. She quickly walked towards him, him being here the only indication they had left the hall. “Erix is blinded.” Cadmus muttered under his breath, as he lifted all the books into his arm, along with the How To Be Normal.

“Why do you say that?” She questioned, as she stepped back, allowing Cadmus to enter the room and place the books on her bed.

He turned to face her. “Because there is a queen wanting to marry him for the sake of two kingdoms, a goddamn queen while he plays with a princess. Any male would be disgusted with him.” He shook his head, disappointment clear on his face as he walked out of the room, cursing under his breath.

It did not bother her.

She let out a sigh as she stared at the books that would take her a century to read.