To Hell & Back
Chapter Fifteen

I awoke to arguing. It was the softest, most elegant argument I had ever heard, but I could tell it was an argument, because conflict, regardless of the language, had but one feel to it. The argument ended moments later, as someone departed. It was quiet for a moment, just the quiet splattering of rain, my breathing, and the silent presence of one elf. I didn’t need to look to know it was an elf; I just knew it was, and that creeped me out a little.

“Sleep well, little one?” the elf asked. Her voice was soft but confident. “My attempt to contain the noise failed, one presumes, by your awaking.”

I opened my eyes and turned onto my side towards the voice to see an elf sitting at the exit of the tent-like structure we were in. Rain was splattering heavily outside. The elf occasionally wiped a stray droplet of water off of herself as she stared out into the rain.

“I feel like shit,” I replied after a moment’s reflection.

She laughed and said, “Of that, I am certain, but… you are recovering well. You endured quite the ordeal, did you know?”

“Yeah… but… you’re not going to turn into a scary monster and kill me, are you?” I whispered, causing her to laugh again.

“No, little one, I don’t think I shall,” she said, glancing at me and smiling.

I blushed a little when she eyed me, it gave me a good view of her front. I had never been more jealous of another person’s body. Even though her proportions were a bit off to be human, I couldn’t help but feel like she was perfectly proportioned. Everything wasn’t that far off from human, just enough to be noticeable. Her thin legs seemed to go on forever, especially when she was sitting. Her calves, and what I could see of her thighs, reminded me of tall women I had seen running on treadmills in gyms. The sight of her reminded me of when I had told Sasha that I ran with a group of women, mostly women in their late twenties and early thirties wearing tight spandex; she had demanded I report back in detail.

Come to think of it, I’ve ogled a lot of men and women for Sasha, haven’t I? I mused. She’ll definitely want to hear about the first elf I’ve met…

The elf’s eyes were just a little too large to be human, while her nose and mouth were just a little too small. Then there was the hair. Long, dark red, straight hair cascaded past her shoulders, stopping just above the small of her back. Her hips were thin, only slightly wider than her waist. She looked away, leaned back on her elbows, and put her feet out of the door, giving me a view of her from the side. Her stomach was completely flat, no bulge of fat nor muscle.

I sighed heavily when my vision got to her chest, wondering how a woman so skinny could be so well-endowed, while I remained so flat. Her breasts weren’t large compared to most women’s, proportionally speaking, but I had seen the busts of women with her level of body fat and muscle.

It just isn’t fair, dammit, I thought with a sigh. Know what? To Hell with all this.

Feeling depressed and self-conscious, I closed my eyes and tried to relax. Were I not feeling like I had run a marathon, and then been beat half to death afterwards, I would have been more inclined to sit there and admire the beautiful scene that was her naked form against the backdrop of soft light and rain, but it just made me feel bad about my own body.

Damn, I’m tired of feeling beat up, but more tired of being jealous of a woman’s body whom I’ve just met, I admitted to myself. You just can’t have hair, thighs, calves, breasts, and stomach that good, not all at the same time. Where is the compromise… and I wonder what her butt is like… Dammit, don’t want to know. There has to be something wrong with her, because perfect just doesn’t exist.

After a few minutes, she leaned next to me, brushed my face with her fingers to rouse me, and asked, “I’ve a question: were her illusion so perfect to have you thinking that she an elf? That she were even me, perhaps?”

Strange sentence structure… Do all elves talk funny? I wondered. When I realized I hadn’t answered her, I said, “I haven’t seen an elf before.”

She stared at me for a moment before she nodded and said, “No? I see… Ah, a true shame, that. How sad for you, I think.”

“You’re… Sarah, right?” I asked.

“That were my name,” she replied with a nod. I watched her grow sad, her face expressing her feelings clearly. I squirmed a little, uncomfortable. She shook her head, ran a few fingers through hair that had fallen over my face, and smiled reassuringly. “Such soft hair, as an elf. A consolation, hmm?”

“I guess so,” I whispered tiredly. Truthfully, I had no idea what she was talking about, but I didn’t want to tell her that.

“I had hopes to allow you more sleep, but it seems I have failed in that,” she said, sounding quietly disappointed with herself. “Time presses… but some time remains still, I think. If you wish to return to your slumber, you need only say so.”

“It’s okay,” I reassured her. “Your friends… they don’t like me?”

“You heard?” she asked, surprised.

“The argument?” I replied and she nodded. “Yeah… but I don’t know, um… Elvish?”

She smiled and said, “High Faerie, little one. You speak Elvish now.”

“Oh,” was all I could think to say. “Really?”

“Yes, though, by your words… they sound, hmm… sound as though you do not speak them often,” she replied. “Familiarity shall come back to you in time, I am sure.”

“Oh, okay. That’s… okay,” I said, not sure if I believed her. Not wanting to argue with my savior, whom I presumed argued on my side, I asked her, “What was the argument about?”

“Whether to grant safe passage, return you to your portal, or to kill you,” she replied. “I seek permission for you, for safe passage.”

“Safe passage?” I asked. “What does that mean exactly?”

“Passage throughout Faerie,” she replied. “You would have your choice of direction. Go where you wished, I mean… or simply stay where you lie.”

“Is that… Am I… in Faerie?” I whispered in wonderment. “This place exists?”

“Of course,” she replied. “Where did you mean to be?”

“It is kind of a long story, but… I’m just sort of, well, I’m just running away at this point,” I told her truthfully.

“Running?” she asked, perching her chin on her hand. “From whom do you run?”

“The last guys to chase me were these… I guess you’d say… I don’t know— big demon things?” I told her. I tried to remember what they looked like, but the memory was extremely foggy. “They followed me here through the, uh, portal or whatever.”

She was quiet for a moment, looking confused, before she brightened up and said, “Two of them, yes? Large brutes with spears, yes?”

“Yeah, spears and a mace, I think,” I replied.

“They are no more. Why do they chase, one wonders?” she said. She raised a brow and added, “How has one so young found so much trouble?”

“I…” I trailed off, realizing I didn’t have any real idea. “I don’t actually know… Not a damn clue what everyone wants from me— but they sure want whatever it— Wait, they’re dead? The brute things, they’re dead?”

“Yes. They cross where unwelcome, so taken by the trees they are… So you run, knowing only that you are chased?” she asked.

“Yeah, I guess so,” I said. I bit my lip and fidgeted; her interest was making me uncomfortable. The “taken by the trees” comment was also fairly disconcerting, as I recalled what happened to the snake-monster that had attacked me.

Note: do not mess with trees, I decided. Trees in this place do not fuck around.

A rustling noise sounded just before another elf abruptly stepped into the shelter. She looked similar to Sarah, except her hair was much shorter, and she was noticeably more athletic. The rain had the elf’s hair matted to her head, and I could tell she was cold.

Stop looking at their boobs, I told myself sternly. Fair is fair: you don’t like people looking at yours, so stop looking at theirs.

Try as I might, I kept looking. The new elf’s long legs and arms, as well as fair face, assured that if she was a human, she would be fairly graceful looking, but when compared to Sarah, she looked completely ripped. While Sarah seemed sculpted for beauty, having the perfect allotment of muscle and fat to retain her exquisite femininity, this elf was a different story.

There was almost no fat to her. Her abs, arms, calves, etc, bulged slightly. She wasn’t close to being muscle-bound, but there was no mistaking she was built for something other than looking as elegant as possible, which I suspected was Sarah’s goal. Sarah exuded vanity like a fashionista, while this new elf looked more like a kickboxer. Then there was the way this new elf moved. Sarah moved with elegance and grace, like a professional dancer might. She seemed to flow from one position to another, whereas this new elf moved with the kind of grit and cold determination I remembered seeing combat veterans move with. My father had moved like that, when he stopped pretending to be a suburban dad.

“Are there no guy elves?” I asked, the question suddenly popping into my head and out my mouth.

The new elf looked startled. She glanced at Sarah questioningly. My face went bright red with embarrassment.

“Are you not to supply an answer, hmm?” Sarah asked the other elf. I got the feeling she was teasing her.

“Do you not recall—” the elf began before Sarah cut her off.

“No, she does not. Educate her gently; do not berate,” Sarah chided, interrupting. “Remember yourself what we spoke of.”

Deciding I didn’t want any conflict starting over me, I put myself back into the conversation by saying, “Hi, I’m Staysa.”

She stared at me for a moment before saying, “Vera.”

“Of?” Sarah questioned, prodding the other elf’s stomach with a finger.

“Vera, Nightmare of Faerie,” Vera finished, looking uncomfortable.

“How do you get a title like that?” I asked, genuinely curious.

“You bring an ending to a long, useless, bloody struggle of our race,” Sarah said with a smile. She looped an arm around Vera’s waist and said, “Yes?”

“Something of the like,” Vera mumbled, looking at the ground.

“A civil war?” I asked after a moment of thinking.

“That came first, yes,” Sarah said. “A civil war to depose a peaceful, if vain and stupid, leader. You see, Vera is faedalkin, a race of protectors. Vera was small part of this war, she earned her prominence later. Faedalkins preferred the previous leader, or at least were loyal to her. The new queen decided the faedalkins were a threat, figuring they will never love her… The resulting war was the ending of fae dominance, our struggle with ourselves was so devastating. Thousands of years pass, but less fae live now than did before the war, our losses so great. High, middle, and low, all fae are but a speck compared to our potential.

“Vera remains one of the few faedalkins to survive. One in but a thousand, if that, live this day. She killed many, her rage so great as to make her insatiable, for the queen killed her former desired master. Vera fought until finally captured by the dreaded queen…” Sarah trailed off, kissing Vera on the cheek.

“What happened?” I asked, replaceing myself enthralled by the story.

“Vera killed the queen whom captured her, thus avenging her master, but she was weakened. The queen’s heir attempted to enslave her, but I took her. The queen’s heir shall forever remember me as the one whom stole the most powerful and feared faedalkin from her grasp,” Sarah said, chuckling. “Had he been successful, it is likely war would continue.”

“So you… stole her?” I said, confused. Between my still fuzzy head and her strange way of speaking, I was having a hard time following her, but from what I gathered, this Vera character was a very sought-after killer, and a hard one to tame.

“Yes, but enough of old tales for now, for the present day is upon us. My love, what news have you?” Sarah said, turning to Vera.

“She was not interested in my words,” Vera replied with a shrug. “As was suspect.”

“I see. Thank you for the attempting, all the same,” Sarah told her.

“The child still seems an interest. It is best she were not here,” Vera warned.

Sarah, looking utterly uncaring, shrugged and played with loose strands of Vera’s hair as she said, “Queen’s delight is not my cause.”

“You play with fire,” Vera whispered pleadingly. “The—”

“She will not risk this fight, I think,” Sarah said. “Do you suspect other?”

“Yes,” Vera replied.

“This… queen,” I said, interjecting again. “She wants to kill me?”

“Were that the case, your fate would be far better,” Vera murmured.

“Do not worry unnecessarily the poor child— think of to whom you speak,” Sarah said, as she pulled on a lock of Vera’s hair, earning herself a glare.

I frowned, wishing I could understand them better, but I was too afraid to ask for clarification, not to mention I was getting more and more tired. Thankfully, we were silent for a while, giving me a chance to rest some more. I watched as Vera bent her head down, allowing Sarah better access to her hair, who used the access to retie a loose braid. Once the braid was back in place, Sarah pulled Vera into her arms and held her possessively.

“Soon,” Vera murmured after a long silence.

“I imagined this to be the case. It is a shame, for I would have liked to show Faerie to you… It is so seldom that we get visitors, isn’t it, love?” she said, sounding sad as she looked from me to Vera. “I will repay my debt, however. I shall see you safely returned to your portal, I think… after you rest more, of course.”

“Debt? You saved my life,” I told her, confused.

“And you saved mine… or likely that of my sisters,” she replied. “The creature had elf form for a reason. She ambushed me and mine, but kept us alive. I was trapped in her lair with my sisters poisoned unto oblivion, much as you just were but hours ago.”

“So you got hurt because of me,” I said. “Because it wanted me?”

“Keeping danger from Sarah is an impossible task,” Vera told me, smirking. “Were it possible, I would sleep easy.”

Sarah laughed before saying, “You need not chide me, my love, my lesson was already had— and you are not to take blame with yourself, either. My sisters were the ones truly in danger… The creature did not wish to fight me… but then, the creature went for this little one, instead of deal with its catch.”

“I’ll not give lecture, you would simply ignore it if I did,” Vera said. I could feel Vera relax some as she said this. She had been tense before, filling the air with a mixture of shame and anxiety that I hardly noticed until it was gone.

Sarah just laughed and said, “Yes, yes, of course, but I was not worried, for I knew my savior would come for me— though I knew not that I had two saviors this time. The snake used my form, I think this true, to get close to you, Staysa— but what did it say, one wonders. Did it ask questions of you? I presume this the case, or perhaps she directed you in some way?”

“Yeah, I… Shit, things got weird once I told her my name,” I said, trying to remember the incident. “She said… she said something. I can’t remember exactly— I mean I try to remember, but— My memory, it—”

“I can tell,” the elf said, interrupting my rambling. “Worry not. Do not… do not strain, please, for I shall feel sorry for having caused you pain. You needn’t worry.”

“You can tell that my memory isn’t, um… good? How?” I asked, staring up at the two elves. Vera’s eyes were closed, she looked asleep in Sarah’s embrace, but Sarah was watching me attentively.

Dettrick Moatz / To Hell & Back / 144

“Witches are not alone in their detection of powerful magic. Memory charms have been used… and you carry wounds upon your head, both fresh and not,” Sarah told me. Looking down at the faedalkin she held, she said, “Love, shall you sleep now?”

“No,” Vera said, opening her eyes and removing herself from Sarah’s embrace. She sighed and said, “I will return when I can. If I do not return in a dawn, you must leave.”

“I’ll not leave without you,” Sarah replied. “You know this.”

“Have I ever failed to replace you?” Vera asked, raising a brow.

“Do not promise that which you shall not keep,” Sarah warned. “And… if blood need be had, become awash in it.”

“I—”

“Awash!” Sarah said sharply, before more gently adding, “I will brush it from you, you know this. The game ends soon, remember?”

Vera stared at Sarah for a time. I could tell there was a lot of history between these two. Vera leaned forward and put her forehead to Sarah’s chest, resting it over her heart. Sarah whispered something and touched her lips to the top of Vera’s head. Vera then stood up and left the enclosure, sprinting off swiftly into the rain.

“She will warn us if queen seeks you directly,” Sarah said.

“What about… what would happen, hypothetically speaking, if I stayed here?” I asked after a pause. “In Faerie, I mean.”

Dettrick Moatz / To Hell & Back / 145

“Were it safe, we would replace out together, little one,” she said. “I wished you to stay… but the time appears not right. It is such a sad thing, this fact, for this a lonesome realm now. Your company would be welcome, were it possible to have without a fight.”

“This queen person wants me dead,” I said, making my tired brain work. “Why? What’d I do to her?”

“Dead if she cannot have you, alive if she thinks she can,” Sarah replied.

“Have me?” I asked, wanting to make sure I understood.

“As I have Vera, the queen would have you,” Sarah told me.

“Is Vera your— um, not to be rude, but, I didn’t quite, before I mean— Okay, I’ll just say it: is she your slave?” I said, wincing at my own rambling question.

“Slave of a kind, one may say. The faedalkins pair to a powerful faerie, but it is not of their choice, it is of the faerie’s. It is their nature to pair, while it is ours to claim. The queen is jealous of my Vera, this is certainly true,” Sarah replied. “Vera loves me, and I her, to be sure and to be fair, but were this not the case, she would continue to protect and obey.”

“You are not so innocent as you seem, huh?” I said.

Sarah laughed loudly before she admitted, “Yes and no, but then, who is, hmm? I can say that I seek the harm of none in particular without cause, but I am devious and cruel, need I be, as all should be. That is my role in this struggle. The protection of innocence is not oft done through innocence.”

Dettrick Moatz / To Hell & Back / 146

“My father always said something like that— I think it was, ‘it takes a monster to fight a monster’ or something like that,” I said.

“Your father said this?” Sarah asked, curious. “You know him?”

“Yeah, well… I knew him. He’s dead now,” I replied softly.

“Dead now… Oh! I see, yes,” she said. “I apologize, for bringing upon your grief is not my intent.”

“It’s okay. It was like four years ago, so don’t worry about it,” I told her, shoving my rising emotions back into the hole I kept them in. She smiled sadly at me and nodded. We sat in awkward silence for a while before I said, “How does this queen think she can have me? Does she think I’m a, uh, faedalkin was it? Put me next to Vera and that’ll end that thought.”

“You misunderstand, I think. Pairing is natural to the faedalkins, that is their… breeding, one may say, but a faerie such as me may lay claim upon nearly any,” she told me.

“That’s what makes you a high fae?” I asked and she nodded.

“One trait, little one, one trait of many,” she replied.

“What did you just tell her to do?” I asked after a while. “Vera, I mean; what did you tell her to do?”

“Kill the queen, if opportunity arises. Begin anew the war, as my proxy,” Sarah said.

“Over me?” I said. “That—”

“Water and fire, my sweet child, shall never mix,” she said, smiling sadly. “Inevitably, a spark will come, and water shall rise to meet it.”

Dettrick Moatz / To Hell & Back / 147

“You… you’d be water in this analogy?” I asked, somewhat confused.

“Can you not tell?” she said, moving a hand out of the enclosure and into the rain. The rain intensified suddenly, thundering down hard, until she brought her hand back inside.

“You’re causing the rain,” I marveled, eyes wide.

“I am the rain, little one,” she said. Her smile was wide for a moment, before it faltered and she looked away. “I am water, while the queen is fire. There were others, but they are fallen now. Only two with strength remain. Two pillars still stand, where once there were oh so many.”

“Sounds like you should avoid a fight,” I replied. “If there are only two of you left.”

“We have only a small wait longer until it shall not matter,” she said with a shrug. “But worry not, little one, we shall not be dying. Even if my body is overcome, my element shall bring me back.”

“Bring you back? That— is that why the snake didn’t want to fight you?” I asked.

“Hmm? Perhaps so,” she replied. “I would have reformed with pain aplenty, should I have lost, though I do not think I shall have lost. My Vera has little faith, simply because she is so strong, but I am my own.”

“So, does that mean you are immortal?” I asked.

“We think we are, but only two remain to this day, remember?” she replied.

“So it is possible to kill you, just not by sticking a knife in you,” I said.

Dettrick Moatz / To Hell & Back / 148

She laughed and said, “Quite right. My element must be taken, which shall not happen by fire, this I know and declare.”

“But you could take hers? Take fire, I mean? That’s why you’re willing to start the war?” I said. “Why didn’t you do it earlier, then?”

“The war begins from greed. Hungry from power, wanting power, despotism reigns— You said this of me: I am not so innocent as I seem, and partly right you certainly are. If fire is displaced, the power becomes mine to wield, but no balance is struck,” she told me. She was silent for a while before she said, “One wonders, how much time elapses before what is left of my innocence is truly lost? How much I would have failed her, I wonder…”

“Do you really think that… that… you’ll become a terrible leader? If you don’t have, what, competition or something?” I asked, hoping I understood her meaning.

“You speak to one who stole away a slave, only to hold the slave as her own,” Sarah chided.

“Yeah, but she loves you, right?” I said. “And you love her.”

“Now she does. This was not always the reality of things,” she whispered. She look embarrassed as she continued, “I was very young and brash. When I came upon the sight of the queen dead, and Vera covered in her blood, my thoughts were of power. Vera could have, even weakened by her fighting, could have killed me, I think.

Dettrick Moatz / To Hell & Back / 149

“She rampaged at great length, killed many, as I said before. Her mistress, her beloved mistress, was slain by the former queen, but when she got her revenge, basking in the blood of her true love’s killer, she became not unlike a broken doll. I stole her like I said. I treated her fairly, by our standards, but her true mistress was dead and gone.

“She cared for me, her instincts and the bond we formed demanded it of her, but her true emotions… gone. They were gone. I did not care, not for many years, in the least— I was a young idiot with an attentive lover: a lover whom catered to my every wish. It was a time before one noticed that attentiveness to my pleasure and wellbeing do not mean love. Attentiveness was her role, love would be her choice. She did not want me, for I did not care for her as an equal.” Sarah finished.

“But you changed, right?” I said. “She looked pretty, um… comfortable with you…”

“She has learned my ways, and I learned hers. Not until the next War of Pillars, where air fell, that I began to see the truth of my ways, and of this world, one might say. Were I to keep Vera as mine, for another element could certainly take her, were she willing, I must accept and treat her as I would me,” she said. “Were she upset, I would command her to ignore it, but were I upset, she would see me happy. She did not do it for love, she did it for her instincts. I wished upon her love… Understand?”

Dettrick Moatz / To Hell & Back / 150

“So even not liking you, she treated you well. Compromise, you learned to compromise,” I said. “You almost lost her, so you compromised to keep her.”

“Hmm, yes, perhaps that is the best way to think of it. I know air offered her freedom from me, and potentially had the power. She chose me over air… and presumably fire, as well. It was, I think, that she willingly stayed with me that caused my lust, for that was what I truly felt, to become actual love.” Sarah said, smiling now.

“Compromises are the key to a successful relationship,” I said, nodding sagely.

“Yes,” she said, sounding impressed. “With compromise, we sometimes both replace ourselves with more happiness and success. Where did you hear such wise words?”

“My mother used to say that to my father,” I said quietly.

“Of course she did,” the elf whispered, staring at me for a moment before turning to stare outside. We were quiet for a time. I tried to hide from the immense feeling of sadness that suddenly radiated from the elf, but it was hard. She turned her head to me sharply and said, sounding ashamed, “You can feel it, can you not? I am sorry…”

“We all have our grief,” I told her, remembering my parent’s deaths.

She laughed bitterly before she whispered, “So young, but such deep feeling you share in such few words. You should rest, your stay here ends soon.”

Dettrick Moatz / To Hell & Back / 151

I just nodded. I was tired. I tried to sleep, but my body aches came alive more and more the closer I got to sleep. After a few minutes, I sat up and asked, “Can you help me sleep? Like before?”

“I… Oh, yes, of course,” the elf murmured, wiping her face.

She came over to where I was lying down and settled in behind me, spooning against my back. Her cool skin gave me goosebumps, but I was still grateful. I hated being alone when memories of my parents were in my mind. I was especially grateful when she warmed up. I felt her skin go from a cold chill to a pleasant warmth as she exuded energy towards me. It felt like a warm bath, or maybe a subtle heat massage. Aching muscles relaxed enough to make up for the blush that came over me when I realized her breasts were pressed against my back and my ass was cradled comfortably by her long legs.

“Better?” she murmured. I held her arm that came over my side like it was a teddy bear, and I felt like a child in her arms, but I didn’t care.

I nodded, and after a slight pause, I asked, “Do… Would it… I don’t, I don’t want to make you think about… I just know that sometimes it helps, it helps to talk about it? It’s okay if… Is there something you didn’t say that you want to?”

“A friend, a dear friend that… ahead of her time, she was,” she whispered, choking back grief. “We all have our part to play, this is mine.”

“Is that a quote?” I asked.

Dettrick Moatz / To Hell & Back / 152

“Yes,” was all she said. I wanted to know more, I desperately wanted to know more about this woman, but I was just too tired. I was thankful when the comfort and exhaustion overcame the pain, allowing me to sleep.