Tobias - A cursed boys novel
CHAPTER TWENTY THREE - TOBIAS

It’s been a week and Willow has barely said a word to me. I’ve tried apologizing a hundred times, but her answer is always the same: ‘I have nothing to say to you’.

I hate myself for the way I reacted to her telling me she was pregnant. I was stupid and lashed out at her out of anger for Alexander. I couldn’t stop myself from thinking back to the nights spent in chains while he taunted me with stories of how he’d tainted my cupcake.

I never believed him then, even though I couldn’t blame her for trying to get her freedom in any way possible, so I shouldn’t have believed him now.

I don’t know why I let it get to me, why I let the idea get under my skin. Maybe it’s because I’m ninety-nine percent sure that I cannot conceive a child.

Colton was right when he said I fucked up and that she needed me now more than ever and I let her down. I wanted to be there for her, to hold her and comfort her.

We all lost someone; for her, it was her best friend, for Tristan, it was the woman he loved, for me, well I don’t really know. I never got along with Amelia. I hated her most days; but, ever since Willow walked into my life, she’s changed everyone for the better. Even Amelia.

Today is the funeral. There is a clearing about a five minute walk from the house that we decided to turn into Amelia’s grave. Willow has been there every day with my brothers helping to set it up and make sure it will be perfect.

I’ve gone with them a few times to try and help out, but even then I was given the cold shoulder. I was beginning to wonder if Willow was ever going to forgive me.

I walked into the kitchen and found everyone standing around. I felt awkward wearing a full tux, since the last time I wore it was to my own wedding, where Amelia died.

Willow and I caught each other’s eyes for a fraction of a second before she turned away from me and headed outside.

I followed after her. She might have been mad at me, and she had every right to be, but I couldn’t let this continue any more. Instead of being the one Willow ran to for comfort, she had spent the last week in a spare room with Jennica.

She needed me, she needed her husband, and I needed my wife.

“Willow, wait.”

“I have noth-”

“Nothing to say to me. I know, but you don’t have to say anything. I just need you to listen. Please, cupcake.” I said, cutting her off mid-sentence.

She glared at me, then crossed her arms and leaned against the railing of the wrap around deck.

“I’m sorry. I know I’ve said it a hundred times, but I’m going to say it a thousand more. I’ll say it every day for the rest of our lives if I have to, because I love you. I fucked up; I know that. I’m not the brightest crayon in the box or the sharpest tool in the shed, but I am smart enough to realize when I’m being an idiot. I never should have reacted that way when I found out you were pregnant. Try to understand that, for over three hundred years, I’ve believed that we can’t have children; so, when you told me, my mind jumped to the worst possible conclusion. I was scared. Scared that the baby wasn’t mine, but I shouldn’t have said the things I did. This baby is mine. Even if it wasn’t my sperm that created it, this baby is mine. I’m not saying it wasn’t my sperm either, so don’t give me that look. I’m just saying that no matter what, that child is mine. No, it’s ours, and I will love it with every breath in my body and I will continue to love it, as much as I love you. You are everything to me, my only reason for breathing. My wife and the mother of our child. So I will wait as long as it takes, and I will apologize every day until then, because I love you and I refuse to give up on us.”

My voice cracked in places as I spoke, but I didn’t care. My eyes burned from unshed tears and it felt like my lungs were on fire. I couldn’t breathe without her and I didn’t know what I would do if she turned me away again.

She took a step towards me and I was waiting to feel the sting of her hand across my face; I even closed my eyes in anticipation for it, but, instead she placed her hand in mine.

I laced my fingers with hers as she took a step closer to me. I opened my eyes to stare into the blue perfection that were hers.

“I love you Tobias. I will always love you. I can’t forgive you for the things you said; they hurt me in ways nothing else could. You would have been better off backhanding me across the face, but I don’t hate you for it. I understand why you said what you did and why you reacted that way, but it doesn’t make it right. You are my husband, and I need you. We need you.” She said, while placing her other hand over her stomach.

I dropped down to my knees and placed my hands against her hips, pulling her closer to me as I placed a kiss against her stomach. I felt her fingers run through my hair as I held her close, never wanting to let go of her or this child. I was going to be a father, and it scared the shit out of me.

“Well, it’s about damn time!” Colton said.

I looked up to see him, and everyone else, watching us through the window. Everyone except for Tristan; he’s been keeping to himself all week, mostly locked up in his room.

Willow smiled and I got to my feet before kissing her gently. We had a long way to go before we would get over all this, but at least we would be doing it together.

I heard a car pull up around the front of the house; it had to be Micky and the boys. Father James was lucky enough to be alive after the wedding, but after everything that happened to him, he refused to have anything to do with our family at all; so, instead, we decided to have a small intimate funeral on our own.

“Everyone’s here. I guess we should head over.” Willow said and took my hand.

We walked around to the front of the house as Daniel and Jonathan climbed out of their dad’s car. Micky was already walking towards us when my brothers came out carrying the casket.

I felt Willow’s hand tighten around my own and I kissed the top of her head to let her know she wasn’t alone. Slowly but surely, we all started walking towards the clearing.

The casket was beautiful. Tristan had built it himself and took the time to carve intricate designs along it, including her full name.

“I’m not ready for this.” Willow whispered as we entered the clearing.

“You have to be; it’s time to say goodbye. Don’t worry. I won’t leave your side.”

She looked up at me and the pain in her eyes broke my heart. I wrapped an arm around her shoulder and held her close as my brothers laid the casket down on the ground.

Everyone remained silent as we all stood around, unsure how to go through with this. How do you say goodbye to someone who has been a part of your life for three hundred years. Finally, Tristan stepped forward and cleared his throat.

“I’m not good with goodbyes; I’ve never had to say them before. In three hundred years I have never once had to think what life would be like without her in it; Amelia was constant and she was my forever, or at least she was supposed to be. There wasn’t supposed to be conditions to this curse, there wasn’t supposed to be a ‘way out’. Not like this. Her life was stolen from her, ripped away in the worst kind of way. She was a bitch, I’ll admit that. But when she finally let you in, she was a whole lot more than that and she didn’t deserve to go like that. I should have been there; I should have been the one to hold her when she took her last breath, but because I wasn’t able to do that I can’t thank Willow enough for being that person for her. For holding her in her last moments, making sure she wasn’t afraid or alone. For holding her and loving her in a way very few ever had. In three hundred years, Amelia has only ever made one friend. You were her best friend and she loved you, and now we are left to love her, and mourn her, and wish that there was more we could do. Amelia wouldn’t want you to blame yourself, or feel guilty over that day. None of it was your fault and it’s important to me that you know that.”

Willow’s eyes were red and puffy from crying. I wished there was more I could do to take away her pain. Tristan came over and took her in his arm. The two of them held each other in grief as I walked over to help lower Amelia’s casket into the ground.

The sun was shining, and the clearing would be a beautiful place to come and visit her grave. It was tragically perfect.

Once Amelia was in the ground, Tristan came over with the shovel and tossed the first bit of dirt back into the hole. One by one, everyone else followed, ending with me.

I had offered to be last so I could fill in the grave. I could tell Tristan was barely holding onto his sanity as it was, so I didn’t want to put too much of this on him.

Everyone started walking back to the house, but Micky stayed behind to keep me company. We stayed silent most of the time, but I could tell there was something on his mind.

“You ok old man?” I asked.

“Better than others.”

Lord knows that was the truth.

“I’ve been meaning to give you something. It was supposed to be a wedding present for you and Willow, but there hasn’t exactly been a right time to do it. I’m starting to think there won’t be a ‘right time’ so I might as well do it now.”

He reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out a manila envelope. I hesitantly took if from him as he handed it to me.

“What is this?” I asked, as I turned it over in my hands.

“It’s the deed and all the paperwork to my pub.”

“What?” I asked in disbelief.

I couldn’t believe he would be giving us his bar as a wedding gift. That place was his baby.

“I’m getting too old to run that place. I made it my life because I lost everything else; you gave me my life back when you brought my boys home. I’m dying, and there isn’t much we can do about it, so I plan on using whatever time I have left enjoying my life with my boys instead of stressing over my pub and working myself to death. You’ve been family to me from the start, so there is no one else I’d rather give the place to. You did more for my place in one night than I have done in years. It will be a good change, for everyone.”

I didn’t know what to say. I was at a loss for words over him considering me family. I’ve known the guy over half his life, but I thought I was doing a good job at keeping enough distance that I wouldn’t become too attached. I didn’t want to feel anything if he died, but all that was completely thrown out the window. Micky was family. He’s been family since day one; I just hadn’t realized it yet.

I didn’t want to think about the possibility of losing Micky, so instead I smiled and thanked him with a hug.

“You have no idea how much this means to me.” I confessed.

Micky just smiled and clapped me on the shoulder.

“You’re a good man, Tobias. Better than most and a lot better than you give yourself credit for.”

With that, he turned and headed back towards the house. I took one last look at Amelia’s grave, and then followed him.

When we got to the house, everyone was standing outside. I didn’t know what was going on until I saw the bags by Tristan’s feet.

“Going somewhere brother?” I asked.

“I need to get away from here. Too many memories and I just need some time to replace myself.”

“What about the full moon?”

“I’ll figure it out.”

I nodded my head slowly, but a part of me wasn’t so sure.

“You know where you’re going?”

“No.”

“You coming back?”

“I don’t know.”

I walked over and pulled my brother into a hug. I didn’t want to say goodbye to my brother, but he was convinced he needed to do this. I wasn’t going to stop him. I couldn’t, even if I wanted too.

“Be safe, brother. And call us at least once a week.”

He didn’t say anything, but he returned the hug before picking up his bags and tossing them into his truck. He climbed into the driver seat and left.

I stood there watching my brother drive off; not knowing if or when I’d see him again, but something told me it would be a very long time, if he did come back.

“He will be ok.” Willow said from behind me and I turned around.

“I hope so.”

I took her hand and headed inside with everyone else. We all gathered in the living room and I pulled Willow down on my lap. I kept my hand on her stomach and brushed my thumb back and forth gently.

There was a baby in there. A little tiny human was growing inside of my cupcake, and I was going to be a father. If you had told me a year ago that this would be my life today, I’d have thought you were drunk.

“Is it a boy or a girl?” Jonathan asked.

“What are you talking about?” Micky looked at his son, confused.

“Willow and Tobias are having a baby.”

Micky looked at the two of us like he had just seen a ghost. Was it really that hard to believe that we were going to be parents?

“We just found out the day of the wedding, so we haven’t really told anyone yet.”

“Then how did Jonathan know. He hasn’t been here since the day of the wedding.”

“It was an estimated guess. So, is it a boy or a girl?”

“We don’t know yet. It’s been pretty crazy around here; I don’t even have a doctor yet.” Willow said.

“We can get you one tomorrow when I go into town to pick up some supplies.”

“Supplies for what?” she asked me.

“Well, Micky decided to give us the pub as a wedding present, so I’m going to do some renovations and re-open the place in a few months, and you are all going to bust your asses helping me.”