Tore Up (Mississippi Smoke Series Book 1)
Tore Up: Chapter 33

The guys were back early. I knew it before we returned to the house because Bane had gotten a text, but I wasn’t prepared for the change in him once we walked inside. The guy from the past two days was gone.

After he’d let me spend two hours in a library, gotten a library card in his name for me to check out books, taken me to his favorite Mexican restaurant—where we’d talked, laughed, and had a good time—he left my bag of books on the sofa, along with my bag of expensive bath products, then walked off without a word. Not even a backward glance.

My chest felt heavy as I carried my things up to the bedroom. Taking some time to regroup, I sat on the bed and stared out the small window. The way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he laughed, the teasing tone in his voice, his hand on my back, as if I were his—I hadn’t imagined it all. Sure, the sex dreams were all in my head, but I had experienced the other things. Spent time with him.

A knock on my door sent my heart fluttering. I swung my gaze toward it.

“Come in,” I called as my eyes watched with expectancy. Hoping it was Bane coming to explain his change.

Than entered the room, and I struggled to keep the smile on my face. This was my friend, and he didn’t deserve a disappointed reaction. He sauntered into the room. His friendly face normally eased my anxiety. Not this time. What Bane had stirred in me was too powerful, it seemed.

“Well, little momma, you look like you survived two days with Bane,” he said with a grin.

I nodded. “Yeah, I managed.” I’d done a lot more than manage.

He chuckled. “Want to come out for a swim with me? We’ve got company coming later. It’s a thing we do after being out of town for a job.”

I didn’t want to leave this room. Not until I had my head on straight with this Bane thing. But I also didn’t want to hurt Than’s feelings.

“Okay, yeah,” I agreed.

He looked pleased. “I’ll meet you down there.”

I nodded, and he turned to leave but paused.

“Why does this room smell so fucking good?” he asked.

My gaze swung to the bag of items Bane had bought me. I hadn’t even noticed it, but he was right. It smelled delicious.

“New bath products. I was out of the things I’d brought with me,” I explained.

His eyebrows shot up. “I see,” he replied before leaving the room.

When the door closed behind him, I stood up and went to get one of my bikinis. I was being sensitive. Bane might have had other things on his mind when we got here and needed to talk to one of the guys. He didn’t have to give me his complete attention all the time. This was probably part of the pregnancy hormonal thing messing with my emotions. The knot in my stomach loosened, and by the time I was changed to go downstairs, I felt better.

Ransom gave me a nod from the sofa in the great room, and Oz called out a, “Hey,” when I passed the kitchen.

I looked for Bane, hoping to get a glimpse, but I didn’t see him. Stepping into the warm late afternoon sunshine, I saw Than already swimming in the deep end. Forge was on the phone at the outdoor bar, telling someone what they were out of. He glanced up and saw me. He smiled, then went back to looking at their supply beneath the counter.

I laid the towel I’d brought down on a lounger just as I heard the thudding that I recognized. Bane was in the gym. Knowing he was still in the house made me relax. Why that was the case, I wasn’t sure. But I wanted to know he was close.

Very bad reaction, Halo. Very, very bad.

“Feels good,” Than called out to me.

I started toward the zero-entry end of the pool and walked in, slowly adjusting to the cool water a little at a time.

Than tilted his head back and ran his hand over his head, slicking the wet locks back before looking in my direction. His eyes drifted down to my stomach, and a slow curl of his lips appeared. “You’ve got a bump.”

I glanced down. It had started to show more this week. I was also pretty certain that the strange feeling of actual butterflies in my stomach was the baby. I’d read that it could feel that way at first.

“Yeah, it really seemed to pop out there almost overnight,” I replied.

Than’s eyes met mine when I looked back up at him. “When do you get another ultrasound?” he asked me.

“At twenty weeks.” I was anxious to see how much he’d grown and changed.

The brief flicker of sadness that crossed his expression made me wonder if I’d imagined it.

He smiled brightly. “I want to go to that one.”

That was unexpected.

“Oh, okay,” I replied, not sure what Grissele would think of that. I knew she would be taking me.

“Tell me what you did while we were gone,” he said. “Bane swore he wouldn’t leave you here alone all day.”

He had? Was that why he’d spent time with me? Because he’d had to? No. Bane didn’t do things he didn’t want to do. Did he?

Than was looking at me, waiting on me to say something.

“We went to the stables, had a picnic, watched movies at night, and today, he took me to get shampoo and soap, then took me to the library.”

The surprise on Than’s face was followed by a short laugh. “Seems he did as promised.”

There was that again. Bane doing something he had to do. Now that they were back, he didn’t have to spend time with me. The … friendship I had thought we were forming wasn’t that at all.

I listened to the thud of the punching bag. I wished they’d stayed gone longer. I hadn’t been ready for my time with Bane to end, and I was afraid it had.

When Than had said guests, he’d meant women. The feminine laughter filtered through the house as I finished the meal that Wilma had made for me alone in the kitchen.

After swimming, I had gone to take a shower and use my new products that not only smelled heavenly, but my hair was also smoother and my skin felt like silk. That small little enjoyment though had been short-lived.

The closer I’d gotten to the great room and the more female voices I heard, the heavier the rock in my stomach seemed to get. Once I reached the entrance, I scanned the room to see a blonde on Locke’s lap with her legs open and his hand between them and Forge with a redhead straddling his lap on the opposite end of the sofa. Backing up before I was noticed, I’d caught a glimpse of Than outside, leading a naked woman further into the darkness.

I should have been thankful none of them were making out in the kitchen.

Although I tried very hard not to think about where Bane was or who he was with while I ate, it was futile. Because dream Bane had me feeling things I had no business feeling. Like jealousy and envy. Also, I caught myself imagining clawing some unknown woman’s eyes out for touching him.

Frustrated with my unwanted train of thought, I ate what I could with no appetite, then headed back to the stairs. I was not going back to the great room. That would be awkward, and they certainly didn’t want me there. This must be what Than had meant when he said they did this after getting back from being away on a job. They had a fuckfest. I’d remember that in the future. Prepare to eat in my room and not come out.

A door opened in the wide hallway before I reached the one that led up to third floor. Another naked woman appeared. Her hair was platinum blonde and hung down to her waist in thick waves. She was standing at the open door, giving whoever was inside a sultry look.

“Do you want Bronwen or Kenna to join us?” she asked.

I couldn’t hear the response, but she laughed at whatever it was, then turned to close the door before sauntering down the hallway. Her eyes swung to me, and she scowled. I hurried into the small staircase, closing the door behind me, then made my way up. I didn’t know whose room was down there. That could have been Bane’s room. The thought soured my stomach, and I wished I hadn’t eaten.

When I was in my room, I stared at the library books for a long time before finally going over to get one. I couldn’t lie here and think about what Bane was doing. It would drive me crazy. I needed a distraction. I had to face the painful fact that he was probably having sex too.

My pathetic longing to be wanted and special to someone always managed to turn any attention from a man I was attracted to into something it wasn’t. What I felt and what Bane felt were two different things.

Tonight, I hoped dream Bane didn’t come. He was only making it worse.