Traveler - The Price (Book 3)
Chapter 21

Do you miss yourself sometimes? The person you used to be? Who you were before all those hidden feelings took you over and made you go crazy? The simple person you were some years ago? The monotony? The simplicity? Well, I missed all that like hell.

I couldn’t stand that situation any longer. I knew I had to do something. I went downstairs, and I went to get my car from the service. I couldn’t forget, and that was the biggest gift I could get for the beautiful moments, but for the present, it was a curse. I parked the car in front of the house. When I got inside, I found the cups of tea on the table. It was afternoon, and I was home alone. I entered Deby’s room. I looked at Crista’s photo, that was on the table. That room was a total mess. There were clothes on the floor, on the bed, and on the table were a lot of chocolate packaging.

I got out from that room, and I went to the bathroom. I stepped straight into the shower. I let my thoughts flow along with the hot water. I don’t know how long I was in there, but when I got out, I wiped the stimmed mirror with my hand and I saw my reflection. I was on the point when I was talking to myself in the mirror, begging me to be strong.

“Fuck this!” I shouted, and I hit the mirror.

My hand hurt and some glasses stuck in it. I wasn’t over yet, so I went angrily to my room. I took a bag, and I put all my clothes in it, then I pushed with anger all the things from the table. I pulled the bed sheets off, I threw the lamp on the wall, and I finally overturned the desk. I sat on the floor, and I let myself burst into tears. I had destroyed my room. I took my bag, and I rushed to the car. I couldn’t stay any longer in that house, in that town, where I didn’t belong anymore. My life wasn’t there anymore.

I started driving on the dark streets. My phone started ringing like hell.

“What the hell have you done?” shouts James.

“I made a decision!” I snapped.

“Where are you?”

“I’m leaving town.”

“No, you’re not!”

I hung up on him. I continued to drive, even if my phone was ringing. I was about to leave the town. I had passed by the sign that said I was leaving Vals when I saw some headlights behind me. A car passed quickly by me, then it stopped in front of me, blocking my way. I suddenly stopped the vehicle, and I was preparing to get down. I was feeling sorry for the one who dared to block my way. Then I saw James stepping out from the right seat.

“When I told you that you will not leave, I meant it!”

“What the hell are you doing here? How did you replace me?”

“You told me you’re leaving town. And besides that, I have this weird thing, and I feel when you’re close. I can feel your emotions.”

“Great. Tell your friend to move the car.”

He went to the driver’s window, and he said something to him. Then, James came to me and entered in my car.

“What are you doing?” I asked confused.

I saw the one who had brought him turning around and leaving me a free road, but also James on my head.

“You’re leaving? Fine. I’m coming with you.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me! I’m not in the mood for this bullshit!”

“Me neither! Look what. I didn’t ask any of these, but I will always feel attracted to you and your feelings. It will be uncomfortable, so if you’re leaving, I’m coming with you.”

“You don’t mean it…”

“What else can I do with my life? Everything went nuts anyway!”

“You mean it…”

“Or you can get in the car, put your shit together and drive back into the town. You don’t have to run from the problems!”

“Go back to what? Try staying in the same house with Deby and Aaron!”

“You can stay at my place. It’s big. We will not even meet very often.”

“Ha!”

He was looking at me, and I realized he meant all of that. I sat in the car.

“But I want to leave… to forget about everything. To start a new life! Why should I stay here to hurt myself?”

“I think we will replace a way to work it out… I think I feel this because deep down in your heart you feel it too. Running is not an option.”

I kept my tears inside. James touched my shoulder. He knew what I was feeling, and it was so weird. At that moment, I put my arms around his neck. I needed a hug, so it didn’t matter where it came from.

“I just want to forget…”

“No, you don’t want this. Come on, let’s go back in town. I’m buying you a drink.”

I turned around the car, and we went to Andy’s bar. James remained outside to make a phone call, and I went inside without him. When I stepped inside, Ivy welcomed me. I was looking like I came back from Hell.

“What happened to you?”

I had a strange feeling of déjà vu.

“It doesn’t matter. I need something to drink.”

Ivy came back with a bottle of liquor, and she put it on the table. She sat next to me, waiting for an explanation. I started crying again, but I couldn’t tell the reason. Andy had arrived too, and I was about to embarrass myself again. Then James came in. I looked at him indifferently. He waved to Andy and Ivy that he wanted to be alone with me. They stepped aside.

“I told you I could feel what you feel, including the pain!” he shouts grabbing my right hand.

He hadn’t seen until then that my hand looked like I put it into the meat grinder.

“Yeah” I grumbled.

“We need to fix this! There is a way to fix it. Otherwise, Ema wouldn’t have appeared in my dream and I wouldn’t be here right now!”

“I don’t recognize my life anymore. This is my burden, and I choose how to wear it. I decide to step out…”

“Don’t start again!”

James looked at me with disapproval. At that moment, a bright light came from outside.

“Fire!” people started shouting.

We rushed to the exit, and I found out stupefied that my car was on fire.

“What the hell?” I snapped.

I couldn’t do anything else but to step away from it. Then I saw Aaron and Deby running to us.

“All my clothes were inside!” I shouted.

“Who would do this?” asks James.

“Jo! Thank God! We found your room and the bathroom destroyed! We called you, but when we saw you weren’t answering, we went looking for you. What happened?” asks Deby.

“Why were all your clothes in the car?” I hear Andy behind me.

“It doesn’t matter anymore! Now I don’t have a room, or clothes, or a bathroom, nothing! And again, I lost my phone! It was in the car!”

No one understood what I meant when I said “again” for they couldn’t remember anything that had happened in the past. The firefighters came quickly, but they couldn’t save much of the car. At Deby’s insistence, I went back home with them. My conversation with James was going to continue the next day. I entered the living room, and I threw on the couch. I told Deby I was going to crush there that night because my room wasn’t exactly the best place to sleep. She nodded her head and went to the bathroom. Aaron was just walking out from the kitchen, when I was gathering all kind of medical stuff, bandages, to take care of my two holes from my hand.

“The bathroom mirror did this to you?” he asks sitting next to me.

“Something like that.”

“Don’t you think we need to take you to the hospital?”

“I think I can handle it” I said. “Here, hold this.”

He looked at me confused because he couldn’t remember we used to do that all the time. He didn’t have any scars since he had returned from the Underworld. Deby, on the other hand, still had them, but they had a whole different story from what I knew. I ignored Aaron’s confusion, and I stitched up my cuts.

“You should have gone to the Med’s school. You’re immune to the pain or what?”

“No, but you get used to it in time.”

“You’re talking as if you’re doing it every day!” he laughs.

I started gathering the things to put them back in the closet, but Aaron wanted to help, and our hands touched on the table. I looked up, and he was looking directly into my eyes. I pulled back my hands, and I wanted to leave, but the timing was so bad because he thought of doing the same. We hit each other, and I couldn’t help, and I looked at his lips. He didn’t step back, but he even got closer to me. I closed my eyes, and I passed by him, leaving him there, with the box of bandages in his arms. After I had put the things back inside the closet, I remained there for a second and I sighed.

“What’s up with you?” he asks me in a whisper. “You’re weird.”

I refused to respond him or to look at him. His last words awakened in me so many memories. I considered it was the time for me to get a blanket and to go to sleep before things went crazier than they already were. When I came back with the blanket, Aaron was waiting for me in the same place. I passed by him to get on the couch. Then he grabbed my arm.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Some things are better left unsaid” I replied and threw on the couch with the blanket over my head.

He stayed there a few more seconds, but all I was hoping was for him to leave already. Finally, I heard his footsteps on the stairs. I took a deep breath. I had a feeling that all steps from my life, the ones had forgotten about, were repeating in another way.

In the morning, Deby woke me up, while she was shattering for some cups in the kitchen. I got up, and I went to her.

“Can you make more noise?”

“Sorry, I think I woke up in a bad mood.”

“Why are you saying this?”

“Aaron’s acting weird. He’s distant and cold. I don’t know. And I noticed he has a very annoying way to talk with other women. And all of them are looking at him! And I have a big problem. I realized I’m so in love with him! What do I do now?”

My morning didn’t start very well, and Deby was expecting me to be “Doctor Love” for her and Aaron.

“Deby I…”

“Shht! He’s coming down. We’ll talk later about this!”

Aaron came into the kitchen and put himself a cup of coffee. I took a sip from mine, and I got out on the porch. Deby passed quickly by me.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to Andy’s bar! It’s my first day there! I will like it, I know it!”

“Have a good day!”

She got into the car, and she left. Then Aaron stepped on the porch.

“Tell me your story” he says suddenly.

“My story is too complicated, and I don’t want to talk about it because it brings me unpleasant memories” I cut him off.

“Ok, I get it. You don’t want to share it with me. But what I saw in that room, and the bathroom, it’s clearly a major problem. You should talk to someone. Every bad story has a good part too. You just have to replace it.”

I felt my hands trembling on the cup. I sighed, and I had the courage to look him in the eye. His blue eyes seemed to reflect a sea of memories, and his sincere smile overwhelmed me.

“It could have been a lot different!” I said, and I went inside.

I had left him there, without any explanation, but I was sure that if I had told him one, he would have thought I was crazy. I heard voices on the porch, and I saw James coming inside. Aaron had remained outside.

“Are you ok?” he asks me.

“I think you know the answer” I said ironically.

He smiled and came to me.

“I bumped into Deby to the coffee shop.”

“And?”

“We talked. We had our coffee together” he smiled. “She’s nice…”

He managed to steal a smile from me. He looked insistent at me.

“You’re special, Jo. You don’t have to be unhappy. Don’t do this to yourself. You don’t deserve all of this. I know something is about to explode inside you.”

“Life has a weird way to warn you when you’re doing the wrong thing” I said.

“Can I fall in love with you?” he whispers getting close to me.

“Of course not!” I said pulling his chin with my finger.

“I feel what you feel, don’t forget it!” he said and winked at me.

I got up rolling my eyes, and I brought him a cup of tea. He thanked me, and he kept smiling.

“We’re in this together, no? As partners.”

“With one condition” he says.

“What?”

“Don’t fall in love with me.”

“The same goes for you.”

He started laughing. I had treated it as a joke, and I hoped he had done the same.

“Now seriously, I’m falling in love.”

He went silent for a while, then he continued.

“I like Deby. What’s left to do? Is Aaron not giving you any signs?”

“No” I said. “I don’t know if things are coming back to normal, but all I know is that this situation is weird as hell.”

“We are two stupid people caught in a messed up and embarrassing situation. I think it was much easier to just fall in love with you. I wouldn’t be sitting here, without hope. I have always known that you wouldn’t have eyes for someone else, so I did my homework from the start, in order not to get out broken from this.”

I started laughing. James had managed to make that situation funny. In fact, life was funny. Aaron came inside accompanied by Ivy.

“Hey! I came to take you guys at a drink to the bar.”

I went to get my purse, and we all left with Ivy. I took the front seat. When we arrived, Ivy remained to get some boxes from the trunk, and as the boys were already inside, I went to see if she needed some help. One of the boxes turned upside down and in a rush to help her gather all the doses of beer from the street, she grabbed my arm by mistake. I looked at her because she wouldn’t let me go. She was staring at me as if I had killed her entire family.

“Ivy?”

“Jo!”

“Yes?”

“Jo! Oh, God!” she shouts and hugs me, leaving the doses to roll on the street.

Ivy had remembered me. I felt goosebumps on her arms. My eyes were wet of happiness, and I hugged her so tight.

“I remember everything! It was like my entire life has passed before my eyes! Why didn’t you say anything? Oh, wait… no one would have believed you. Oh, God! I’m with Andy!”

“Ivy, just breathe!” I said with tears of joy in my eyes.

“I have a problem.”

“What now?”

“I think I like being with Andy. What if he doesn’t remember anything? What do I do? Oh, damn it! Deby and Aaron! That sucks! What can we do for the rest of them? We can’t just leave them like that!”

“We don’t have much to do…” I grumbled.

“But…”

“Let’s go inside. All on their time.”

“But if we wait for the right time, it may pass by us!”

I looked at her without giving her an answer, and I lifted my lip as in a half of a smile. We took the boxes, and we rushed inside. When we got in there, the others were sitting quietly at the tables. That was the clear proof that no one else remembered anything. At least I wasn’t alone in that situation. The magic existed, or maybe the Universe had decided not to make my life his daily comedy show. I was more than pleased with Ivy, at least for the moment.

“What are we drinking for today?” she asks. “To remember or to forget?”

No one besides me had understood that allusion, maybe only James, who was looking sad at us. I realized that I didn’t always need a plan. Sometimes it was enough to take a deep breath, to trust, to let things flow and see what was coming next.