Sofia

"A boy or a girl" I asked Yusuf, titling my head a little too and looked at him, because we were both wrapped up in each other's arms. "Any gender, I don't care" he responded.

"I wish for twins, a boy and a girl" I beamed happily.

"Then it's okay by me" he replied then pecked my lips.

The bump in my stomach was prominent now, it was clear that I was pregnant for real.

I'd freaked out when we did the first ultrasound. I couldn't believe I was having a little life in me.

"What should we name him or her?" I raised my brow.

"Any name you like or want" he said curtly, giving short answers. I was feeling waves of anger building up in me waiting to be released. "What of abdullahi or amatullah?" I asked then he hummed in response.

I stood up abruptly "why did you hummed, can't you answer or my questions are too much?" I inquired, putting my two hands on my waist. He shook his head and said"no" looking confused.

"I was suggesting a name for the baby but you chose to hum in response" I accused him while pointing to him.

"I'm sorry" he muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"You are sorry?" he nodded in agreement.

"But did I tell you I'm angry" I narrowed my eyes on him.

"Don't sorry, what do you want me to say" he sighed.

"What did I want to say?, uhn? My troubles are too much right?" I stomped my feet angrily.

His eyes widened before he said " no you aren't, I like you for that".

"You like me because of my disturbance?"I exclaimed dramatically.

He moved closer to me "I love everything about you" he said then wiped off the tears.

I didn't know why I was always more emotional and hormonal than normal.

Was it because I was pregnant?

****

It was 1:00pm, I woke up urgently because I was craving for Amala*. (a Nigerian food made from yam flour).

I was hungry.

Yusuf woke up groggily, yawned and glanced at me.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" he asked.

"I'm hungry " I replied, sulking my lips.

"Hungry!!!".

"The baby and I are hungry " my stomach used that time to grumble.

"Lemme go get you food" he turned to leave but I called out to him then looked back.

"I don't want homemade food, I want down the street amala" I said.

"Buttt- she would have closed"he stuttered out.

"I don't care, just get me the food" I ordered him.

"Alright, I'm going" he came to me, pecked my forehead and walked away.

Around one hour after he arrived, I was sulking around the house.

"I don't want Amala" I whined.

"What!!!" He exclaimed.

"Yeah, the baby and I don't want Amala" I pouted, "we want spaghetti" I beamed while caressing my bump.

"Are you sure you want spaghetti?" He asked skeptically.

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"Yes" I nodded eagerly.

"Okay"

He went to the kitchen to cook me spaghetti while I trailed behind him like a lost puppy.

"Spaghetti" I sang out.

I watched him as he cooked the spaghetti while staring at his muscles how it was flexing.

When he was done, I stood up to take the food from him when I felt a sharp pain below my navel and I screamed.

"What's happening?"I asked him, getting scared and afraid.

I felt myself peed on my body. "Did I just pee on myself" I asked him embarrassingly.

"I think your water broke," he said.

"What"

"The baby" he breathed out.

****

I was carried to the hospital, I was rushed into the labour room, starting to prepare myself.

I asked about my husband from one of the nurses and he said he went to bring my mum. I was happy even though I was in pain because I had told him that I wanted my mom and him to be there with me when I wanted to give birth. "Push" I  heard the nurse beside me say.

"Push harder ma'am, the baby is on his way" she said, encouraging me.

I was hearing groans and grunts that I knew were coming from me.

As I pushed harder, I felt my eyelids giving up, my body complaining, tiredness watched over me. I fell into a peaceful sleep hearing incoherent voices telling me not to close my eyes, but it was too late.

*****

I met myself on a roadside with my hospital gown drenched with blood.

I walked forward and stopped. When I saw Yusuf's car coming towards me. Smiling that he was coming but in a blink of eyes a tainted black car ran across him and hit his car making the car tumble.

I shouted and ran to him, he was soaked in blood like me but he was more than mine.

I touched his check and he smiled at me, wincing a little but coughed out blood.

He smiled down at me, he held my hand and placed it on his beating heart.

"How is our baby? I hope he is doing great? Tell him that papa always loves him more and never loses hope. I love you and him, please take care of yourself...." he trailed off and his eyes closed to their own accord, his beating stopped. I screamed his name out loudly enough for all mankind to hear.

I felt myself being shaken up by someone, I woke up with tears in my eyes and sweating profusely..

"Yusuf, where is my husband?" I asked frantically.

The nurse looked at me with pity, concern, worry, pain.

"You've been out for three hours but congratulations you gave birth to a bouncing baby boy." she said with so much sadness.

"I knew but where is my yusuf?" I asked impatiently because I had a gut feeling that something bad had happened because of what I dreamt earlier.

"We are sorry, we tried our best but He who gives life has taken it" I looked confused. I didn't understand what she was saying, she was talking in parables and it was scaring and confusing me.

"We lost him in the car accident...

He 

is

Dead".

I felt an agonizing pain throughout my body.

I felt pain more than what I was subjected to before.

I felt my world shattered into pieces.

Happiest moments became saddest moments.

And I screamed like I'd never before.

But upon all, I felt numbed.

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