Twisting Her Fate
Chapter 94

He told me it was true that he had found his mate.

The amazing Luna was his mate, but he was annoyed because his cousin had already ruined her. I asked him if she could feel when we did that.

Simon told me that she did, but he told her that it must have been the pain of losing Harris that kept coming up and then he would make her feel bad about the fact. He laughed about her pain, he laughed about using me like that.

I went to meet her, I wanted to meet this woman, I wanted to tell her everything I wanted to tell her about you, I wanted to tell her about what he was doing. But when I faced her she was so fragile, she was like a beautiful broken doll. She was barely holding on for Oscar and she was heavily pregnant.

Even though she was in a lot worse shape than me, she held my hand and wanted to be friends, she wanted to help me. I couldn't tell her, I couldn't break her apart more than she was.

I admire Astrid more than I have ever admired anyone in my life. I think if I had met her earlier my whole life would have been different. She bought out the best in anyone she was around. If I had her as a friend earlier, I would have had the confidence to do anything, I would have had the confidence to leave Simon.

It wasn't long after that, I started getting sick. The doctors couldn't work it out, I just kept getting sicker and weaker. Astrid would look after you and you would have play dates with Oscar so I could have some rest. Astrid had her baby, a beautiful baby girl, Cora. She looked so much like her mother and I just knew that she was going to be just as special as Astrid.

After she gave birth, my sickness plateaued for a bit. I wasn't getting sicker, but I wasn't getting any better. Simon stopped coming, which I liked because I still loved him but knowing her, knowing Astrid, I couldn't do that, I couldn't cause her that pain. Astrid came back to life with the birth of her daughter. I think it is because Cora had Harris' eyes. Astrid felt like it was her final tribute to her mate and she still loved him, but she wanted to be a happy family with Simon and her two children. I didn't begrudge her that, if anyone deserved it, it was Astrid.

I was starting to live with my ailing health. I had a better friend than I ever had in my life. You and Oscar were becoming friends.

But then my health started to deteriorate at a rapid rate. I got the diagnosis that I was going to die. I didn't really care about my own life. I just wanted to make sure you were going to be taken care of. I was nervous about approaching Simon, but one night he came to me and said that you could live with him and Astrid. All I had to do was kill Cora.

When he told me, I refused him straight away, but then I started to get sicker and he started supplying photos of the conditions in the orphanage that he was going to send you to. I started to get so worried, I wanted you to live, to have a good life and no matter how hard I tried to shut down my feelings I couldn't guarantee your survival by sacrificing another, but I couldn't just leave you to perish in a place like that, so I told Simon that I would do it.

It took me weeks to replace a baby that had died of cot death. I set it all up and even though the infant was already gone, tearing her up was the worst thing I have ever done. Taking Cora's blood and clothes, I staged her death and then I left her on the boundary of another pack. I saw a beautiful lady pick her up.

I just knew that Cora would be fine.

But worse than ripping apart the baby was handing her to Astrid. I broke her. That moment I saw Astrid, it was like I had ripped the soul out of her body. I knew that I had killed the only true friend I ever had in this world.

I desperately wanted to tell her that it wasn't real, that Cora was fine. I couldn't because then it would have all been for nothing. You would be cast out, I would have lost her.

I couldn't handle being around her after that. I couldn't look into her hollow eyes, I missed that spark of life, I missed that smile. I started hiding out in random places, too ashamed to be around anyone, I didn't even feel like I deserved to be your mother. I was dying anyway, so I just wanted to fade away so that no one would even notice when I died.

Astrid would look after you and Oscar, no matter how broken she was. She was still a good mother, which made me even more guilty. Every time I saw her I just wanted to tell her, I wanted to put that spark of life back in those hollow eyes.

I had been forgotten around the pack for a long time and then I was only known as Astrid's friend, so it was easy to fade away.

I liked to view people. It made me feel like I was included, even if I wasn't. I spent a lot of my time observing Simon. I wanted to see any shred of guilt for what he thought I did, but he never showed anything. I really began to wonder if there were any real emotions under that shell or whether it was all fake.

I often wondered how he used to say so many sweet words when he must be so vicious inside.

By then I hated him and I also hated myself for still loving him.

I followed him one day. I wanted to leave the pack house and get out of the suffocating environment. He went to a place that is known to be a witch area and I heard his argument with a woman.

It turns out that I wasn't the only woman that he was playing. This woman was best friends with Astrid for a long time and that is why he approached her. He must have used all the same moves on her that he used on me. It was crazy because I thought she looked a lot more intelligent than me, it made me realize that I never had a chance against him, not when this woman fell for the same things.

He thought that being with a powerful witch would give him the prestige that Harris had. She had given birth to a boy for him, but when she cast a spell on him she found that he would never shift, his werewolf gene was so dormant that he wouldn't have any of the characteristics of a wolf and he would never have strong magic either. He was such a gorgeous baby, he had striking purple eyes but it seemed like no one wanted him.

She yelled that she hated wolves and she hated men. She screamed that she regretted ever meeting him, but then she let something slip. She provided the poison that was killing me. It was Simon. Simon did this to me.

The man I thought was the love of my life was the one that made sure I had no future and then he manipulated me to make me do all these things.

I confronted him. I could barely stand but I did it. It was the single most brave thing I have ever done.

He just shrugged at me and told me that if I came clean that he would kill you and me.

That I could either keep quiet and die and you would be well taken care of or he could kill us both.

I could not put you in danger like that. I know he would do that, he would kill his own flesh and blood without blinking. Because what I have learned about Simon, what I never knew before, what he managed to hide so well, is that he is a predator of the worst kind, a pretty shell and a honey tongue, but there is nothing good inside, it is just a putrid mess of vile, festering nothingness.

My knight in shinning armor from my childhood was nothing more than a snake in the grass. As I lay near death I know that all that glitters is not gold.

I regret everything to do with him, but nothing to do with you.

What you have to understand is that I only wanted the best for you.

I love you so much my precious little girl, mummy's perfect little angel. I wish I could be there for you. I wish things could be different, but I know that you are safe with Astrid. She will treat you like you are hers, she will love you.

If she is ever to learn the truth, please tell her that I am sorry that I never meant to hurt her, even though I hurt her in the worst way possible.

I hope you replace a love so true and never go down the same path that I did, replace your fated and treasure him or her.

Find true happiness, that is all I hope for you.

I will watch over you and, until we meet again.

I love you so much, more than I can articulate, more than the sun, more than the moon.

Love Always,

Rose

(Mummy)