Variation: A Novel
Variation: Chapter 14

Ballet4Life97: You look like a piece of art. That fouetté? Gorgeous.

Allie Rousseau looked good as hell riding shotgun in my truck, looking out the window like she’d done it a thousand times, her hand wrapped around the oh-shit handle as we pulled onto the bumpy beach-access road.

And I struggled to concentrate on both the road and what Beachman was saying from the back seat. He was my backup plan, a second set of eyes and ears to look out for Allie just in case Caroline decided to go back on her promise to back off.

“So we pull up on this vessel, right? And we’re talking thirty-foot seas—” Beachman continued.

Allie turned her entire body to look into the back seat, her oversize sunglasses making it impossible to get a hint of what she was thinking.

“They were more like twenty,” I corrected.

“Still, the waves are fucking huge.” Beachman leaned forward. “And this fishing vessel is bobbing like a cork, taking on water from all sides, and Ellis here is somehow dodging the crow’s nest as he brings up the crew.”

“That’s more the pilot than it is me.” I drove past the hot spots teeming with tourists, and the road got rough with sand.

“Whatever.” Beachman waved me off. “So he starts down for the last guy as this swell comes up over the bow, and the captain fucking jumps.”

Allie’s lips parted, and I fought to keep my eyes on the road.

“Right? So Rafferty’s got the controls, and he’s telling Hudson that we gotta reel him in and reassess because it’s dark as shit and we think the captain’s been dragged under the hull.”

“He’s exaggerating. I had a visual.” The new comfort station came into view, and I spotted Mom and Dad’s SUV parked nearby. Despite the remodeled showers and bathrooms that would normally draw the tourists, this section of beach was still the best-kept secret in Haven Cove.

“The fuck you did,” Beachman countered. “Anyway, so Ellis starts arguing that he can get to him, but I started the hoist because, you know, orders.”

“You’re a swimmer too?” Allie asked.

“Hell no. I have respect for my life and am therefore a flight mechanic. Swimmers are fucking crazy. No offense intended.” He slapped his hand on my shoulder as we approached the coned-off area designated as a parking lot.

“None taken.”

“So, the second Ellis is clear of the vessel, the asshole disconnects from the cable, and falls like twenty-five feet into the water.”

Allie’s eyebrows rose above her sunglasses.

“Exactly.” Beachman threw up his hands. “So now I’m scrambling to get the basket ready, and Ellis is down there in thirty-foot swells—”

“Twenty,” I corrected.

“And get this—he replaces the captain. The boat starts to pitch, and the whole fucking thing goes over on its side, and the crow’s nest had to have been two or three feet away from Ellis when it came crashing down.”

“Oh my God,” Allie whispered.

“It was more than ten feet.” I shot a look over my shoulder at him. “Stop exaggerating.”

“Are you telling the story? Or am I?” Beachman threw his hand over his heart. “So the swell yanks the boat back up again, and Ellis starts hauling this giant fucker through the water like he’s no bigger than a toddler, trying to get some distance between them and the hull, and the whole vessel bobs right back like it’s a game of Whac-A-Mole. I think that thing came for him at least three times before we got the captain hoisted, then once more before Ellis was back on board. Rafferty was pissed.”

I pulled into a spot and put the truck in park.

“When was this?” Allie asked me, unclicking her seat belt.

“Last night, off the coast of Maine,” Beachman answered, already moving for the door. “I’m telling you, Ellis here is the luckiest bastard I’ve ever met in my life.”

“Last night?” Allie leaned on the console between us. “We could have canceled today.”

“Everybody lived and I’m perfectly fine,” I promised, undoing my belt. “Just another day at the office.”

“Potential death is just . . . commonplace for you.”

“Pretty much.” I nodded.

She stared at me a few seconds longer, but the damn glasses hid whatever was going on in her eyes. Something about her was off today.

“Let’s go, lovebirds,” Beachman called into the truck before shutting the doors.

“He . . . umm . . . he knows, right?” Allie asked.

“About us pulling off the fake date for the sake of getting Juniper into ballet? Absolutely. He’s all for it.” Beachman was more than ecstatic to facilitate what he saw as the fix for the problem I represented. “I left the rest out.”

“Good. The less people we have to lie to, the better.” She plopped on a floppy sun hat, and we stepped into the midday sun. Seventy-seven degrees was hot for this time of year, but I wasn’t complaining about the warmth or the cloudless blue sky.

“You all right?” I tilted my head. “You’re more quiet than usual.”

“Yeah. I’m fine. Had a shit day yesterday, and just really don’t want to think about it.” She hefted her beach bag, about half her size, onto her shoulder.

“Or talk about it,” I guessed.

“Definitely not.” She shook her head, which didn’t surprise me. Allie was harder to crack than a Rubik’s Cube.

“Then allow me to distract you with sand, water, and what I hope might even be a little bit of fun.” I motioned toward the beach.

“A distraction sounds perfect, actually.” She did me the honor of not faking a smile.

Beachman and I divvied up what needed to be carried, and a few minutes later, we trekked through the sand past the tiled comfort station with its wraparound deck, and onto the beach where my parents and Caroline waited.

Dad had outdone himself as usual, planting four giant beach umbrellas—their scalloped edges fluttering with every gust of wind—with two camping chairs under each in the sand about twenty feet from the waves.

“Let the games begin,” Allie muttered, her hand holding her hat in place.

“I’ve got your back,” I promised as we approached. Her back, her front, I’d cover whatever she needed.

There were only a few other families on this section of the beach, and I savored the quiet. In a few weeks, there wouldn’t be an empty place to sit as we hit peak season.

“Hudson!” Mom stood up from her chair as I sat the cooler next to Dad’s, then leaned into a quick hug. “Allie!” She pivoted without warning and threw her arms around Allie.

Allie froze for a noticeable second, then hugged her back awkwardly. “Mrs. Ellis.”

“Call me Gwen, dear.” Mom pulled back and squeezed Caroline’s shoulders, then grinned at Beachman. “Eric! It’s been too long!”

“Mrs. E.” He all but swallowed Mom in a hug.

“Her parents weren’t huggers, I’m guessing,” Dad said quietly from beside me.

“She’s affectionate.” My tone sharpened. “Especially with her sisters.”

“Didn’t say she wasn’t.” Dad clapped my back. “She’s tough, I’ll give her that.”

“Because she grew up with Thatcher and Sophie?” I asked, noting that Caroline hadn’t looked up from her book under the third umbrella.

“Thatcher wasn’t terrible,” Dad mused. “Came into the café every morning to read the paper and ordered a strong black coffee. Always said lovely things about his girls. Yours, in particular, though he doted a little too much on the youngest. I was saying Allie’s tough because she came back after Caroline dug her claws into her. She must care about you.”

“She’s incredible,” I said, watching Allie fearlessly settle into the chair next to Caroline, putting her bag between them.

“She has to be, if you felt the need to hide her away from us when you were kids.” He leveled the look on me, the one where he was disappointed but wasn’t going to say it.

“You were never the problem.” I opened the cooler and snagged two Smartwaters. “Well, maybe Caroline was part of it.”

“She hated that family ever since the day Sophie Rousseau had Madeline cut her best friend from the advanced class to make room for the oldest daughter. What was her name?” Dad scratched his clean-shaven chin.

“Lina.” My brow furrowed. “I don’t remember that.”

“Oh, it was years and years ago. You were little. There had to be seven or eight years between the girls, which started a whole thing. Sophie had their studio built the next year and started bringing in all those professionals to teach, and the Classic was born. Great for the economy, tough on the year-rounders.” Dad adjusted the first umbrella to better cover Mom as she sat down.

I walked over to Allie and handed her the water, glancing between her and Caroline to see if there’d been any bloodshed yet. I wasn’t above chucking my sister into the water after the way she’d treated Allie at the party.

“Thank you.” Allie took the bottle, and I sat beside her. Beachman had already sprawled over the chair to my left. “I can’t believe you remember which water I like.”

“I remember everything.” I turned my hat backward to keep it on, and Allie set hers down, pinning the edge with her beach bag. Staring while she tied her hair up in a loose knot wasn’t an option, so I looked past her to Caroline. “Where’s Juniper?”

“On her way.” Caroline turned a page of her book. “She’s been spending Sunday mornings with Gavin for the last few months, which has been a huge help so I can get errands done or the house clean without that little tornado throwing everything into upheaval as I go. Gives them some good bonding time, though I had to make sure he wasn’t teaching her keg stands or anything. He hasn’t been late one time for a Sunday morning.”

Damn, that was impressive for Gavin.

“She could come over to our house every single Sunday if you lived near us,” Mom called out from her seat. “Or I could come help you with laundry, or cooking. You’re not alone, you know.”

It wasn’t the first, or the hundredth, time they’d made the offer.

“I have Hudson and Gavin,” Caroline replied. “I’m not alone.”

Which was why I had to put Cape Cod as my first-choice duty station when they asked me for my list next month. I pushed away the irrational flare of impatience that I’d have to wait at least another three years before asking for Sitka. Maybe by then, Juniper and Caroline would function on their own, and I could be the fun uncle instead of the necessary one.

“Juniper’s great. I’ve never met a smarter ten-year-old.” Allie kicked off her sandals and dug her toes into the sand.

Caroline fought a smile and lost. “She’s something else. Did you give her the phone back yet, Hudson?”

My stomach pitched. “The phone?”

Allie leaned back, clearly taking herself out of the line of fire.

Caroline looked up over her sunglasses at me. “Come on. I’m busy, but I’m not completely oblivious. I just let you think you have one up on me.”

“How long have you known?”

“Since the first time she connected it to the Wi-Fi,” Caroline answered. “What did she do to get it taken away?”

“I think that falls under uncle privilege.” I settled back in my seat.

“Hmmm.” She looked past us and grinned. “Hi, honey!”

Juniper raced across the sand, sandals in hand, and hugged her mom. “Hi, Mom!”

Gavin followed and dropped Juniper’s backpack on the next empty seat.

Pulling back, Caroline stroked her hand over Juniper’s head and down her hair. “What is in your hair? It’s all sticky.” She shot an accusing glance at Gavin.

“I just pulled the uncle-privilege card, if that helps,” I told him.

“Uncle privilege,” Gavin declared, throwing a hand in the air. “Good to see you, Allie.”

“Hey, Gavin.” Allie waved.

“Allie!” Juniper grabbed her hand. “Want to help me build a sandcastle?”

“That sounds fun.” Her mouth curved into the start of a smile.

“Mom, you too,” Juniper declared.

Oh fuck. Here we go.

Ten minutes later, the four of us were on our knees with a bag of sand toys, constructing a castle while Beachman and Gavin tossed a Frisbee nearby. Allie had shucked off her usual button-up, revealing a black tank top that I was trying like hell not to stare at.

“That’s good.” Juniper supervised as I pulled the bucket off the dampened sand that would serve as the center tower. “You, too, Allie.”

“Thanks.” A smirk played across her mouth as she did the same with a smaller bucket.

I immediately started filling mine again, struggling to keep my eyes off Allie, like she’d disappear if I looked away for too long.

“Did you make a lot of sandcastles in the summer?” Juniper asked. “With your sisters?”

“Not really.” Allie sat back on her heels, holding the little green bucket in her lap. “We didn’t get a lot of playtime in the summers, and when we did, we liked to hunt for shells or read on the pier.”

“Or sneak out and stargaze,” I said.

“Or sneak out and stargaze,” Allie agreed, her eyes hidden behind those damned glasses.

“Because you danced all the time?” Juniper dug into the sand, continuing the moat, and Caroline paused in the middle of packing sand into another bucket.

“Yes.” Allie pushed her sunglasses up her nose. “It took up more time as we got older, and eventually we were at it about ten hours a day between the gym, taking class with whomever Mom had brought in for that session, then rehearsing in the afternoon.”

She’d been miserable and euphoric all in the same breath during those summers, and I hadn’t understood it until my first few close calls out on the water. Loving something that actively worked to destroy your body was a bitch.

“Sounds like you didn’t get to be a kid,” Caroline noted, resuming with her own shovel.

Allie glanced at me, then Juniper. “There’s a balance to be had.” She hand scooped damp sand into the bucket. “I’m not sure I’d be what I am if my mother hadn’t pushed us like she did. But I also think that ballet could have been a major part of our childhood without being all of our childhood. Balance would have been good, and I think that’s why Dad wanted us out here every summer, to force that balance, but Mom built the studio and . . .” She sighed. “Well, I love ballet, but I never got to know who I am without it.”

Which was probably why she was foundering now.

“Kind of like the café.” Caroline nodded. “I get that.”

I was still hung up on Allie’s confession. True, she lit up like a star on that stage, but she brightened every room she walked into whether or not she was in pointe shoes. I shook my head. “You’re smart,” I said, knowing damn well I should have kept my mouth shut, that I was blurring the lines between what she considered a fake relationship and my very real feelings.

Allie sat back on her heels. “What?”

“I said you’re smart.” I doubled down, staring into my own reflection in her sunglasses and wishing I could see her eyes. “And kind, protective, observant, tenacious, compassionate, an oxymoron of hesitance and bravery, and a thousand other things that have nothing to do with ballet. I knew all of that about you in the first five minutes we met, and you were nowhere near a studio.”

Allie’s lips parted.

Caroline fumbled her bucket.

“Mom won’t let me do ballet,” Juniper announced as she dug the moat past Allie’s knees.

Holy shit, she just went there.

Allie stared down at Juniper as she crawled by, her brow furrowing.

“You make it sound like I don’t feed you.” Caroline finished her bucket. “I feed her.”

“Can I ask why?” Allie acted like this was all new information for her.

Damn, she’s a good actress.

Caroline shoveled bigger heaps of sand into the bucket. “First off, it’s expensive. Secondly, I don’t have time to be one of those moms that gossips with the others about whose kid is better than the rest, and third . . .” She finished the bucket and set it aside. “The only ballet dancers I know aren’t people I’d really want to spend time with.”

“Caroline—” Fuck this. She’d promised.

“No.” Allie held up her hand. “I appreciate her honesty. I could say that about a lot of different sports too. But it would be a shame to judge all dancers based off the few you’ve met, even if I’m included in your sample group.”

Caroline moved forward, then dumped the bucket into place before looking over at Allie. “I promised my brother I’d give you a shot, and that I wouldn’t judge you based off the actions of your family. Because the truth is, I don’t know you.”

“Seems like a good place to start, since I don’t know you either.” Allie dumped another handful of sand in the bucket.

My chest went all tight. Damn, I was proud of her. It was time to cut this session off while she was coming out ahead. “I think we need some water.”

“The sand is already wet here.” Juniper dug around the back of the castle.

“Not what I meant.” I shook my head at Allie, slowly smiling. She’d had a shit day yesterday, and if there was a chance I could make good on that promise of a distraction, I was taking it.

Her eyebrows rose above her sunglasses, and she immediately crouched, then stood. “I know that look, Hudson, and it’s cold.” She toed off her sandals and glanced to the right, choosing an escape route.

“I’d argue that it’s unseasonably warm.” I stood and tugged off my shirt, then dropped it on the sand. My sunglasses followed.

She backed up a few steps, then did a double take and stared straight at me, her mouth falling open slightly.

Was that a hitch in her breathing? Fuck. I couldn’t see her eyes, couldn’t read her expression. “I’d drop the glasses if you don’t want to lose them,” I warned her, stepping over Caroline’s tower and narrowly missing the moat.

“Hudson Ellis,” Allie warned, retreating another few steps, but she didn’t tell me no. We both knew that single word would stop me in my tracks.

“Really. They look like nice sunglasses.” I full-on grinned.

“Seriously with the dimple?” she muttered, ripping her sunglasses off and tossing them near the bucket. “Not fair.”

“Never said I played fair.” That was all the warning she had before I ran straight at her.

She squealed as I scooped her off the sand and threw her over my shoulder. “You have to be kidding me!”

“I’m not.” I walked straight at the surf, cutting between Gavin and Eric. “I never kid when it comes to you.”

“I swear, if you drop me in this water—” Her hands fought for purchase along my back, and she pushed herself up so she wasn’t dangling.

“You’ll what? Live a little? Get a little cold? A little wet?” My feet hit the water, and the chill raced up my shins.

“Ugh. A little wet? That’s the best you have?” She worked her sandy hands to my shoulders, and I banded my arms around the backs of her thighs so she didn’t go sliding down into the water as she held herself upright. “I’m disappointed. You need to work on your game, Ellis.”

“You’ve never seen my game, Rousseau.” The water hit my knees, and I walked on. Fuck, it was cold this time of year. “Trust me, if I was trying, you’d know.”

“Guys with game don’t look like they’re trying,” she countered as my ear brushed against the side of her ribs.

“You have to stop dating those dancers. If you can’t tell someone’s working their ass off for you, then they don’t deserve you.” A wave hit my thighs, and Allie gasped as it soaked her feet.

“It’s freezing!”

“Invigorating, right?” I let her slip a few inches as the next wave hit, and she squeaked. “Makes you feel alive.”

“You’re going to be dead if you drop me in this water!” She caught me completely off guard, breaking through my hold on her and wrapping her legs around my waist. Her strong thighs locked around me, and her hands spasmed like she didn’t know what to do with them.

I would have laughed my ass off if I hadn’t been distracted by the thought-stealing feel of her body against mine. Her warm, soft skin sent little jolts of awareness through my nervous system everywhere we connected.

“I won’t let you fall,” I promised, lifting my hands to support her thighs, steering clear of the perfection of her ass.

She drew back, locking her gaze with mine as her hands hovered inches above my shoulders. There was heat in those whiskey-colored depths, and a flare of interest that had my complete attention as her breathing picked up.

“You could touch me, you know.” Another wave came, but it didn’t reach Allie. “I did promise you a distraction.”

“Using sex as a distraction gets messy.” She ran her tongue over her bottom lip, then bit it softly.

“Who said anything about sex?” My grip on her thighs tightened as my eyes tracked the movement. I wanted to lean forward and suck that lip free, wanted to trace it with my tongue, wanted to sink inside her mouth and finally know how she tasted. I was used to craving things I could never have when it came to Allie, but the way she was looking at me now had me wondering, had me wanting. “I was just trying to save you from looking like an awkward Frankenstein up there with your hands in the air.”

She scoffed. “I was abiding by the terms of our agreement. Our rules were that you could touch me in public,” she reminded me. “Not that I could touch you. I wouldn’t want to take advantage of you in the heat of the moment.”

“So you’ll admit it’s a moment?” Fuck, her lips were only inches from mine. I thought I’d understood the meaning of yearning, but I hadn’t really. Not until right now.

“I’ll admit that you were having a moment.”

“Such a stickler for the technicalities.” I tore my gaze from her mouth and found her watching me. Our gazes held . . . and heated. “Agreement amended. My rule is you can touch me whenever you want, Alessandra. Public. Private. Doesn’t matter to me. Any part of me. With any part of you. Anytime you want.” Another burst of cold water hit my thighs, and I wished it had been a few inches higher. “Now might be good, since we’re putting on a show and all.”

Her hands settled on my shoulders with a light touch. “I mean, if it’s for the show,” she whispered, and her fingers slid along my skin, then interlaced behind my neck.

Need shot down my spine, and I tugged her closer on pure reflex. Nothing more than a touch, than the sensation of her in my arms, and fire raced through my veins. There was a reason I’d never flirted with her in our teens, never crossed the line. I’d instinctively known if I ever got my hands on her, I’d never let go.

Fuck, I’d had no idea what to do with her then, but I did now. I knew hundreds of ways to distract her, and I had the suspicion she would make every single one of them feel brand new.

Her hands slid into my hair on a soft sigh, and my breath caught.

She glanced at my mouth and parted her lips, then blinked twice. “I’m going back to shore.” Her thighs slackened as she unlocked her ankles, and I loosened my grip.

“I’ll take you,” I protested, biting back a groan as she slid down my body. Freezing her in the water had never been part of the plan.

“I’m not a stranger to cold water.” Her hands skimmed my chest as her feet hit the sand, the ocean coming up to her waist. True to her words, she didn’t even flinch, even when a wave came and soaked her tank top up to her ribs. “And you should probably give yourself a minute out here before you come back.” A smirk tilted her mouth as she backed away toward shore, her eyes lighting up as she stripped off her shirt.

Holy fucking pink bikini.

The swells of her breasts made my mouth water, and the slope of her waist had my hands curling. She was right. I needed a few minutes, because I was hard as hell.

“Feel that?” she asked, tilting her head as she continued her retreat.

“What?” I responded, embarrassingly dumbstruck by the sight of her in a freaking swimsuit.

“Game, Hudson.” She held her hands out, still grasping her tank top. “Effortless game.” She turned and walked toward shore, and I quit fighting my grin and walked deeper into the water to cool off. I wasn’t sure what had been hotter, the delicate glide of her fingertips over my skin, or the spark of life I’d seen in her eyes as she backed away.

For a second there, I’d seen her.

You’re the reason she— my conscience started, but I shut the asshole up with a quickness, sinking beneath the waves and dunking my head. A distraction, that’s all that had been. None of this was real to her, she was just fucking with my head, and I’d enjoyed every minute of it. I even considered sending her an engraved invitation to fuck with it some more.

Only when I had my body—and my thoughts—under control did I walk back to shore. Allie was nowhere to be seen.

“Where did Alessandra go?” I asked Juniper as she continued building her sandcastle with Caroline.

“I forgot my sun hat in Uncle Gavin’s car, and she said she’d get it because she left her phone in yours,” Juniper answered, scooping the sand from underneath the bridge she was constructing.

“That was nice of her.”

“That’s because she’s nice.” Juniper shot a look at her mother and moved on to the main tower.

Caroline rolled her eyes when Juniper wasn’t looking but didn’t utter a single word against Allie as we added to the castle.

A few minutes and two towers later, Allie came back, her bikini covered by a thigh-skimming pink sundress that nearly had me biting my fucking knuckles. She dropped her phone at her chair, then came our way wearing a look I couldn’t decipher.

Two lines were etched between her brows.

“Everything okay?” I asked, rising to my feet as Gavin ran by.

“Yeah,” she answered, her voice flat again. “Here you go, kiddo.” That fake-ass smile curved her mouth as she handed Juniper her hat, and the hair on the back of my neck rose.

“Thanks!” Juniper tugged it on, slipping the strap beneath her chin.

“No problem.” Allie backed up my direction.

“Heads up!” Beachman shouted, and I threw out my hand in front of Allie’s head, catching the Frisbee inches from her face.

She blinked rapidly, staring at the fluorescent-yellow disk. “Holy crap.”

“Watch where you’re throwing this thing!” I stepped away from Allie, flicked my wrist, and sent it sailing back to Eric.

“Thank you.” She cleared her throat. “Talk about reflexes.”

I bent my head, bringing my mouth inches from her ear. “One might call it game.”

She snorted, making me grin. It was the closest to a laugh I’d gotten out of her, and I was taking it as my win for the day.

The afternoon passed quickly. Mom and Dad praised the sandcastle and took Juniper on a walk up the beach while Gavin napped. Allie asked Caroline about the diner in a surprisingly bloodless exchange that left me oddly hopeful.

Then I watched, completely hypnotized, as Allie showed Eric how to pull off an arabesque—standing on her left foot and raising her right leg up behind her at a jaw-dropping angle.

God, she was beautiful.

“She’s graceful, I’ll give her that,” Caroline said.

“More like exquisite. I used to watch her practice for hours when we were younger.” I leaned forward, bracing my elbows on my knees.

“She made you watch her practice?” Caroline gathered up Juniper’s sand toys.

“Allie didn’t make me do shit. Don’t twist it like that.” I laughed when Eric tried his hand at the move, and face-planted in the sand. “I wanted to be wherever she was, which meant hiding out in their studio whenever her mom wasn’t looking. But she did her fair share of hiding out in the Grizzly Bear or my bedroom to spend time with me too.” I caught Caroline staring, out of the corner of my eye. “That ladder outside my window wasn’t just good as a fire escape.”

“Remind me never to let Juniper have that room,” she muttered.

Around four, we cleaned up the site, and I helped Dad carry the umbrellas to the car. Once we had everything packed up in the truck, I headed over to the comfort station to wash off my feet so I didn’t track sand into the car.

Once I’d gotten the sand off, I walked to the edge of the deck and looked out over the ocean to wait for Allie. We’d made it through an entire afternoon with my family where Allie hadn’t run and Caroline had held her tongue.

Plus, when I considered that I’d had Allie pressed against me in the water, it was a damn good day, even if she’d put some noticeable distance between us after that.

“Oh good, you’re still here.” Caroline walked over to the railing to stand beside me, gathering her long blond hair into a low ponytail. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“What’s up? If you need me to cover some hours with Juniper now that school’s getting out, I can probably swing it depending on my schedule.” After all, that’s why I lived here.

“It’s not that.” She clenched the railing. “You’re my baby brother, and I love you. You know that, right?”

“What’s wrong?” My brow knit.

“I gave it a shot. A real shot.” Her face contorted into a look of abject misery. “And she’s lovely, but you can’t date her, Hudson.”