Wanted by the Wolves
39. ETHAN

E T H A N ′ S P O V :

I was numb. I wanted nothing to do with the outside world. I know that I really should be comforting Jason, since he lost his mate too, but I couldn’t replace it in me. It felt like someone was continuously stabbing our heart repeatedly.

At first, I wouldn’t believe what anyone said. Kara wasn’t dead. There was no concrete evidence to convince me of that. But the second I saw the body the warriors brought back, I knew I was done for.

There laid Kara, her eyes wide open and lifeless, with a rusty dagger wedged deep in her side. A scream appeared to have died on her lips. The shock sprinkling her features is what hurt me most. She had been in obvious pain, and was not expecting to end this way. The doctors, after further examination, said that Alpha Zander was responsible.

I was going to kill him!

The part that scared me most was how bent on revenge Jason has been. Normally, it’s the wolf that goes crazy with blood thirst after the death of their mate. But in this case, the human wants to kill everything in sight. I’ve had to reign him in from attacking innocent pack members that had said she wasn’t fit as their Luna.

What makes me the most depressed, though, is the fact that I never got the chance to officially meet Kara’s wolf. When two werewolves are mates, the wolves have each other and the human’s have each other. I never got to know her, to talk to her through our minds. While the humans talked, the wolves would mind-link. This would strengthen the bond.

I needed Kara. Jason needed Kara. We both needed our mate.

Jason growled through our link. “Jason I know you’re mad-”

“WE COULD’VE DONE SOMETHING!” He yelled through the link, picking up a lamp and throwing it. “WE COULD’VE SAVED HER! BUT NO, WE LET HER RUN OFF! AND LOOK AT WHERE THAT BROUGHT US!”

“Jason calm down!” I shouted, getting angry. It was completely true, though, every word of it. I could feel a sting of pain through the bond with Jason and I. Due to the kind of day we had had, I knew that kind of pain all too well. It was heart break. We both realized when they found the body, that we loved Kara too much to let her go. Even in the short period of time we had known her, she had grown on us tremendously.

While I had sulked in the back of Jason’s mind, he had made arrangements for our mate’s funeral. Just saying it made me whimper in pain and cringe. I hated to know that our mate was already gone from our lives even after only knowing her for a small amount of time.We never got married or started a family. Nope, just after meeting her we are already planning her funeral.

Then we have to go through with the ceremony in which we are named Alpha of the Silver Crescent Pack. It feels all wrong though, because Kara, the true Luna of the pack, won’t be there.

Maybe we would get a second chance mate. Jason mentally hit me at the idea. No, we wouldn’t get one. We had wronged our mate, we didn’t deserve another. Even if we got one, we wouldn’t accept her. We couldn’t let go of Kara, our first true mate, who we loved dearly. The one that should be standing by our side as we go through the crowning ceremony, not the one in the casket at the funeral.

The funeral. It was going to be beautifully orchestrated. Only the best for our mate. Although everyone would be dressed in black, Kara’s casket would be a sparkling white with white roses tossed upon the top.

I cried. Finally, I curled up and cried. She was gone. There was no wishing her back. She had lost her chance in this world and moved on to the next. Jason seemed to accept it also, because at that point we both broke down. Tears streamed down his face as he curled up into a ball on his bedroom floor, the funeral plans laid out on his bed.

Who were we kidding? This wasn’t a party that Kara would show up at just in time as a surprise. She was completely gone. Never coming back. Completely out of the picture.

It wasn’t fair! Yes, we messed up, I think both Jason and I can admit that, but she shouldn’t have been taken from us so easily!

I instantly felt another bolt of pain pierce my chest as Jason thought about our last words to her. “Really? You’re running again? Is that all you really do? When something isn’t going your way, you take off? What kind of wolf are you?”

We had been heartless enough to ask her what kind of wolf she was since she always ran. But really, what kind of wolf were we if we let her run without following? She was our mate, for crying out loud! We should have followed, then she wouldn’t have...

I gulped. Just the sight of her mangled body and painful expression made me want to die. She never should have gone through this. We shouldn’t have introduced her to the pack. We never should’ve overwhelmed her. We...

“What good is that going to do us now?” Jason asked venomously. “She’s gone. No matter how much we regret it, she isn’t coming back.”

My heart squeezed painfully. This was tearing us apart. Jason and I were falling apart, and Kara was the glue that kept us together. Now I was just sounding cheesy.

“Cheesy is better than death.”

“Okay Jason, you need to stop being so depressing.” I said. Honestly, his dark comments weren’t helping the situation.

“You want to get your mind off of depressing things? Why don’t we make Zander pay?” I couldn’t hold back a bark in agreement.

Jason sent out the warriors to bring Zander to us for a ‘meeting’. This was likely one that he wouldn’t come out alive from. While we were plotting torturous things we could do to him, a knock sounded from the door.

To our surprise, the warriors had gotten back early. They appeared with 20 or so of Zander’s warriors along with Zander himself. And they were all knocked unconscious.

“Lock each of the warriors in a cell, but bring him to the dungeon.” They nodded. Since Kara was just as much my mate as she was Jason’s, he agreed to let me take over for part of the torture.

We headed down to replace Zander shackled to the wall, his hands tight in silver hand cuffs. The room was sound proof and only known about by high ranking members of the pack. Zander’s eyes fluttered open as I took over.

“Huh - where am I?” He asked groggily, taking in his surroundings.

“Tell me what you did to the wanted wolf.” I growled, expecting him to spill his guts(not literally) or refuse.

His face instantly lit up at the mention of my mate. “You mean that sweet girl we met in the woods. She explained everything to us. We were coming to tell you we wanted to make an alliance with you to protect her.”

“She’s dead. You killed her.” His face contorted into a frown, before realization washed over his face.

“I stabbed her, yes. But she survived. In fact, it didn’t hurt her. She convinced me she was good, and that she wasn’t the enemy here.”

This made me hesitate. Did he actually see her, or was he making this up to stay on our good side?

Jason responded through the mind link. “I think he’s just plain crazy.”

Honestly, I couldn’t help but agree. He killed Kara! There was no doubt about it.

My face turned up in a snarl. “What did you do to the wanted wolf?! I want the truth!”

Much to my disappointment, I got the same answer, no matter what I tried. Wow, either this man was crazy enough to believe that she stood in front of him, or he is really hard to crack. I left the cells telling the guards to keep a close watch. We didn’t want him escaping, not after what he had done to our mate.

I gave Jason back control and we went to bed. Well, we tried. I felt completely numb. I couldn’t feel anything. I would feel jolts of pain every few minutes from Jason as he thought about his lost mate. Knowing he needed his sleep, i told him I would take the pain, and that way he could get some peace.

He thanked me before dropping the burden. It hurt. A lot. All the pain that had accumulated. I cut off our link before whining at the aching pain that set fire to my entire being. But I would take it. I would take the pain. Because it was just as much my fault as Jason’s that Kara was dead.

Dead.

Death is an interesting thing. It sometimes sneaks up on a person when they least expect it. Other times, people go to it with open arms. It removes you from this world and sends you on the way to the next.

I wondered if Kara was happy. If she felt at peace. Even though she wasn’t tucked into my side like I wanted her to be, her happiness was enough to keep me going. Knowing she was content and smiling almost put a smile on my face. Unfortunately, it probably came out as a grimace from all the pain. All the heart break. That lasting thought left me flowing in and out of sleep all night.

I woke up at one point, the pain beyond bearable. I was writhing, crying out for Kara. I needed her, her and her wolf. They were the only ones that could end this wave of pain that consumed me. Just as I yelped at the new wave of pain that washed over me, it slowly disappeared.

Was Jason taking back the pain? Or was it slowly disappearing?

I felt a bond with a wolf, the location I wasn’t sure, but it was like looking down the end of a tunnel. The wolf stood proud, of Alpha descent, and watched me, it’s ears perked up and it’s head cocked to the side. It looked like it was trying to put together why I was feeling the way I did.

Since the pain was gone, I grunted and turned away, laying down to try and fall back asleep. I could feel the eyes of the wolf burning into the back of my head, the stare getting annoying. I didn’t need some random wolf stalking me at night. I growled lowly, and felt the gaze lifted from me. Every once in a while it would travel back to me, as if making sure I was alright. The bond stayed open long enough for me to get decent sleep without the pain attacking me or Jason’s hearts.

When I woke to face the pain again, the wolf was gone. And for some reason, I felt emptier than usual. It was as if this wolf was giving me peace, somehow through the bond we had. But just as I awoke, the pain came back, harsher than ever.

I now had to face reality.

And in reality, Kara was dead.

Gone.

Wiped off the face of the planet.

And the person to blame was the one I saw when I looked in the mirror.

Myself.