Warring Logics (Book 1 of The Institute of Fantasiological Studies)
The one where she is surprised (Chapter 29)

Smug, stupid, bastard.

I try not to roll my eyes. No one should become a vampire? Really? No one is good enough?

Before I even realize it, I’m standing in anger and my hands slammed on the front of his desk. I’m tired of his shitty superiority complex. No one is good enough to be an almighty vampire?!

Anger flares uncontrollably, months of listening to his stupid coven tell me how the rest of us aren’t worth the air we breathe has affected me. I should be thrilled to get this kind of information for my thesis confirming my previous work- but I’m pissed.

And I can’t stop the next words that come out of my mouth, “you complete asshole, no one is good enough to be a vampire? Only you and your special friends?”

That gets him riled and he also stands. Maybe the asshole can’t deal with me looking down on him- like he looks down on everyone.

“So that is what you think of me?” his voice is like biting ice but it doesn’t mask his fury. His golden eyes flame and I am so mesmerized by it that I fail to notice the twitch in his cheek.

It’s the only warning I get before I am slammed into a bookcase at inhuman speed.

How-? Wha-?

A few books tumble out, thudding on the carpeted floor. Somehow the wooden frame of the bookcase didn’t snap my back, von Graf must’ve remembered at the last minute that I am human- a sad pathetic unworthy human.

Still, the shelves dig into my back as von Graf pushes me into them, staring down at me. I have to admit I am intimated, I mean, people like him eat people like me.

“You think me an asshole for not offering to turn you, like your precious Mr. Weiß?” his voice is low, right next to my ear. My whole body is aware of how close he is and it’s disorienting. The man is all hard planes and sleek muscles. He smells like expensive pine mixed with fresh mint and I can’t help but take a deep breath.

I’m vaguely aware of how unprofessional this interview has become.

“This isn’t about me” I try to push him away but he only gives me a few inches so that I can look directly into his eyes, “this is about you and your coven, and your belief that you are superior to everyone!”

He looks at me confused with his eyebrows pinched together so I explain further, “your coven members told me all about how you don’t allow anyone to join your coven because nobody is good enough for you.”

Von Graf leans down again, “now listen closely, Mäuschen” I can hear the vainly controlled emotion in his voice, “I refuse to allow turnings because becoming a vampire does something to the soul- something evil. I have seen many lose their minds to their inner demons. My sister…. I have a sister in London who has never been the same since. Humans see the promise of immortality and jump for it without asking questions. I am protecting them and I am protecting those who have already turned.” He pushes off the bookshelf with his hand and moves to stand a few feet away.

“But… but what happens?” I am so confused. Evil? What evil? All the vampires I met seem fine to me.

“It is a blackness that covers the soul” He states vaguely, before he nearly whispers, “we have to kill those who fall to it, and eventually we all fall to it.”

“What?”

“Have you never wondered why even though vampires are immortal there are none over two hundred years old?” He searches my face for understanding.

“I just thought they met an accident or something…” I lamely reply. Yeah, I am supposed to be a researcher and apparently, I have no observation skills.

“They do, by the hands of another vampire. In this coven it is me.”

I then understand what he is telling me. My mouth pops open in shock. I didn’t realize-

“You understand then why I had to stay away from you. I couldn’t risk turning you. Even now the pull for me to bite you is strong and once I start I won’t be able to stop myself from turning you. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

My eyes grow wide and I tremble. I am in a dark room with a vampire who wants to bite me- no wants to turn me. I’m not ready for this.

I also feel a pit grow in my stomach, not so much from fear of him but from fear of what I have to tell him. I probably shouldn’t tell him, but I feel like I owe it to him.

“I have already agreed to allow Mr. Weiß to bite me” I whisper, but it seems to echo in the quiet room. I had agreed because I had to know who my beloved was and Max said he would stop if he wasn’t my beloved. And I trusted Max more than I trusted von Graf.

Von Graf pauses for a moment just looking at me.

Then, he launches at me.

And I let out a brief scream.

Now I am lifted and pushed against the bookshelf with such a force I believe it could snap my back in two. I have wrapped my legs around his slim waist, or he put them there- I don’t know. But his hands hold my legs in place as he grinds into my core. My hands are on his chest as I try to push him away.

The feel of him is overwhelming as he licks my neck, no doubt trying to replace the perfect place to bite. But I didn’t need to keep tilting my head to give him access….

The door bursts open and suddenly Hans and four other vampires are pulling von Graf away from me. It’s like the party all over again. Von Graf is hissing, growling, fighting to get back to me. His eyes glow a strange light. I can’t do anything but watch in shock.

Albert wraps his arms around me and I look up at him. My friend, the one I had pushed away, pulls me to him and slowly leads me towards the door. He’s cooing something at me, something kind and soothing, but I’m not listening.

I’m staring at von Graf and I realize I don’t understand anything.

****

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Happy reading!

Heather