We the People Are Good to Eat
3. Principal's Office

OnMonday morning, Karen Bennet and Louise Torelli sat in Mr. Logan's 2nd Period,12th Grade History Class, taking notes on his lecture.

Hetold them, "The natural environment of the entire Earth had become sobadly polluted, that all life would have perished, unless drastic measures weretaken. That's why the City Buildings were constructed. They were meant to beplaces of refuge for the entire Earth. Once they were completed, everyone onEarth entered the City Buildings. Then the pollution was sealed out, andeveryone was sealed in, and this is where we've been living for the past 1,322years, with only one another to eat, and we thank God for every meal."

LouiseTorelli raised her hand and asked, "Isn't it true that conditions weren'treally as bad, as we've been taught? I've read about a group of EnvironmentalTerrorists, who called themselves the 'Kaczynski Brigade'."

"Oh?"The teacher asked, "And what have you read about the KaczynskiBrigade?"

"WhatI've read," she told him, "is that they said they loved humanity, butthey hated individuals. They got their hands on a number of biological andnuclear weapons. Then they threatened to use them, unless the City Buildingswere built and occupied; and our wussy ancestors gave in."

Someof her classmates laughed, at Louise's use of the word "wussy".

Mr.Logan said, "The influence of the Kaczynski Brigade, and what you call the'wussiness' of our ancestors, has been greatly exaggerated by certain presentday historians, whose work you have obviously read, Miss Torelli."

Therewas a knock on the door. A student monitor entered the room, came over to thedesk and handed a note to Mr. Logan.

Hesaid, "Miss Bennet. Mr. Avery wants to see you in his office now."

Karenstood up, picked up her edu-computer and left the classroom, escorted by theStudent Monitor.

WhenKaren entered the Principal's office, she found Dave Krendell seated across thedesk from Mr. Avery.

Todaythe Principal had the rope from Karen's hanging, coiled in the middle of thedesk, directly in front of him.

Shesaid, "You sent for me Mr. Aviary? I mean Avery."

"MissBennet." He said, "I know that many students replace it amusing to callme 'Mr. Aviary' or 'Mr. Birdhouse.' I hear them twittering as I walk by. I replaceit best to ignore it, when I'm out in the corridors, or in the classrooms. However, I won't tolerate that disrespect inmy own office."

"Iapologize, Mr. Avery."

Sheseated herself beside Dave. A copy of that morning's Student's Newsletter, layon the desk beside the rope, with a front-page photo of Karen, taken while shedied gagging at the end of the rope. The photo showed the noose crushing herneck, to the width of her wrist, her breasts thrust forward inside her tighttee shirt, with her arms behind her back.

Karensmiled. "What do you know! I was a good hang and a sexy hang too; but not oneguy at the Homecoming Dance was enough of a gentleman to dance with me; letalone fu...I mean...Well, it was very humiliating."

"MissBennet." The Principal said, "I want somebody to explain to me, whyyou are able to sit there today. You are the very first cheerleader, who I'veever had come to my office, on the first day back to class, after she'd beenhanged.

Karensaid, "I'm surprised to be here myself sir."

ThePrincipal then asked, "Do you have an explanation Mr. Krendell?

"It'sa mystery to me sir."

"Isit?"

"Sir?"

"Youare the Warrior Team's equipment handler, aren't you?"

"Oneof them sir."

"Butyou are the one who brought out this rope, aren't you?"

"Yessir."

Theman picked up the rope's noose end.

"There'sa kink in this rope."

"Akink?"

Mr.Avery grabbed the rope above the noose knot, and tried to pull the loopthrough. The loop jammed.

Hesaid, "As you can see, there is more than enough space, for Miss Bennet'sneck, to move freely within this loop."

"Dave?"Karen asked, "What'd you do?"

"Ididn't tie the noose. That's how they're manufactured. I just grabbed the ropeout of the equipment locker and brought it out to the Gym. Then I put it downin its usual place. Then I sat in the stands. I didn't tamper with it."

ThePrincipal said, "I understand that you and Miss Bennet are goingsteady."

"Wewere, until she decided to become a slut."

Karensaid, "Dave!"

"Iwon't tolerate that kind of language in my office. Apologize to Miss Bennetimmediately."

"OkayKaren. I apologize."

"Ican see that you still have strong feelings toward her. What were yourfeelings, when you saw that she was the one who was going to be hanged?"

Theboy hesitated. Then he said, "Mixed."

Karenlaughed.

"Thisisn't funny Miss Bennet. We may be dealing with sabotage."

Davesnapped, "I didn't sabotage it! It's a very old rope. They've been hangingcheerleaders with it for years. Look at it. It's fraying. It's probably beenjammed like that before."

"Ohhas it?"

"Probably.Have you noticed that the last few girls we've hanged have taken longer to diethan usual?"

"Notuntil now. You're in very serious trouble Mr. Krendell."

"ButI didn't sabotage anything!"

NowKaren spoke. "He's right. He didn't. The noose worked properly. I was deadin less than two minutes. I just don't know why I'm alive now."

"MissBennet. Please!"

"Isaw you standing there Mr. Avery. You were standing close enough for me to tryto kick you in the head, while I was thrashing around in my final agony. And look at this photo Mr. Avery. Do you seehow tight my neck was squished? There is no way that anybody could survivethat."

"Apparentlynot." said the Principal. "The question is, how do I explain to theschool board, why you not only survived, but why your neck is back to itsproper shape?"

"Prayersir."

"Prayer?"

"Yessir. You see. Right after I died..."

"MissBennet. Don't try my patience."

"Youasked me a question sir, and I'm trying my best to answer it."

"Verywell. Answer it as best you can."

"Rightafter I died, I came out of my body. Then I heard Dave's voice."

Davesaid, "Whatever she says is all subjective sir."

"I'mtrying to be as objective as possible, Mr. Krendell."

Thegirl told the Principal, "I heard him say, 'Lord Jesus. Please keep Karenalive. I love her.'

"ThenI went back inside my body."

Davesaid, "This is a clear demonstration of the validity of Ehrling'sUniversal Theory, Mr. Avery."

ThePrincipal asked, "Do you know what Professor Allan Ehrling's Theoryactually states, Mr. Krendell?"

"Yessir. ‘God governs the motion of every subatomic particle, in every galaxy,throughout the entire universe.'

"Ibelieve that God governed the motion of every single subatomic particle, inboth the rope and Karen's neck, in response to my prayer sir."

Mr.Avery said, "Is that what you expect me to tell the School Board? Thatthis was the result of someone violating the ban on prayer, at a Schoolsponsored function?"

Karensaid, "You asked me what happened sir, and I told you what happened, andDave just explained how, whether the School Board likes it or not."

"Mr.Krendell." The man said, "Every reputable theologian recognizes thatin this severely overpopulated world, where we have nothing to eat but eachother, the Commandment; 'Thou shalt not kill' is a luxury we can no longerafford. Believing otherwise is utopian fanaticism, which always leads todespair.

"Nowany decent person, who truly cared about Miss Bennet, would have prayed for hersuffering to end quickly. Tell me. Did you pray for her to survive?"

"Yessir I did. Those were my exact words.

"OhDave." She said, "You really do love me."

"YesI do; and if you ever want to stop being...what I'm not supposed to say in thisoffice, I'll be here for you."

"Don'tcount on it." said Mr. Avery. "I don't think you realize what aserious thing this is."

Karenasked, "Is love against School Board regulations?"

"Onlyif it's irresponsible."

"Accordingto School Board regulations," Karen said, "every girl on thecheerleading squad, and on the combat team, gets a mandatory implant. How thenis it possible for any of us to be irresponsible about love? Unless she’s Catholic like Francine; and shewas exercising her Constitutional right."

"Thatisn't the responsibility I'm talking about. Anyone who interferes with fillingthe kill quota is being irresponsible and antisocial."

Davesaid, "All I did was pray that one single cheerleader, out of who knowshow many would live. What danger is there in that?"

"Supposing,"the Principal said, "that one person prayed for every cheerleader who washanged on Saturday, and they all lived? Wouldn't that be a disaster? There'd bewidespread panic throughout the City. That can't be permitted to happen. An examplemust be made of you Mr. Krendell."

"Butsir, I thought you understood. The kink in the noose was caused by the rope'sfraying."

"Iunderstand that this is the story that you're telling. I never said that Ibelieve you. You should also not have been praying at a school sponsoredactivity."

"Butit was a silent prayer, and I'm more surprised than anybody, that the prayerwas answered."

"Thereis an ancient saying Mr. Krendell. 'Becareful what you pray for'. I'm droppingyou from your position as equipment handler."

"Droppingme?"

"Youare to be excluded from all extra curricular activities for the remainder ofthe year."

"You'rekidding."

"Beginningimmediately, you are being suspended for a week, and you are not to return toyour classes, until I've had a conference with your parents."

"Suspended?"

"Youwill also be forbidden to attend your graduation. You will receive your diplomain the mail, but you will be banned from the ceremony. Now go to your locker,take your edu-computer and all your personal belongings with you, and gohome."

Karensaid, "This is ridiculous, Mr. Avery. You're exaggerating beyond all goodsense and reason, Mr. Avery."

"Thatwill be all Miss Bennet. Now you may return to class."

"ButI really was dead."

"MissBennet, if you really had been dead, you would still be in that condition. Youmight have been a co-conspirator in this antisocial activity. I intend to lookinto that."

Sheasked, "Look into what?"

"Asyou said Miss Bennet, I was standing right there. I heard you tell JamesHaskins, 'Hang me quick. I don't want to be late for the HomecomingDance.'"

"Thatwas a joke. I was trying to act brave."

"I'mgoing to see what Mr. Haskins has to say about that. I intend to see just howmuch of an act it really was."

Daveand Karen left the Principal's office. They moved along the empty corridor,passing rows of gray lockers.

"Co-conspirators'?"she said. "Neither of us did anything wrong. Jimmy didn't either. I wasdead in less than two minutes. Everybody saw it."

Davesaid, "What does it matter? Nobody listens to kids. They think we're all abunch of juvenile delinquents."

"Whydon't you talk to Pastor McDougal? If he speaks up for you, Mr. Avery willlisten to him."

"Averyand the entire School Board are all a bunch of atheists."

"ButPastor McDougal is the Chief Presbyter of all the Presbyterian Churches onLevel 1378. That makes him a highly respectedmember of the community. The Principal will be obligated to listen tohim."

"Buthe's not obligated to change his mind."

"Atleast give it a chance Dave."

"What'sthe point? This suspension will be on my permanent record. After I graduate,wherever I go to replace a job, they'll call the School to replace out about myrecords. They'll tell them that I was suspended for saving your life, and I'llnever be hired."

Shesaid, “Then I don’t know what to tell you Dave, except that Avery may have beenright. From now on, be careful what youpray for.”