Wild West of the Heart
EIGHTY TWO

Silva was drawn back to the club nights the moment the powder dabbed against his face. He scrunched his eyes, feeling the grains in his eyes. The person that did his makeup was gentle, and well formal in a suit.

Mira was opposite him at the backstage of The Guardian, and though there was silence between them, both their eyes spoke a million words. Because the moment they were supposed to go in stage, in front of the multiple cameras- —and broadcasted to the whole world, everything would change. It meant for the first time, Mira was nervous but then she was also angry and that was the preceding emotion. It was how she convinced herself and Silva that they could do this. There was no backing away from this.

He looked to the paper in his hands, and the coordinator was right beside him. They'd given him exactly what they wanted to ask, and what they wanted him to say. Mira was just there as an accessory, but it wasn't as if she was complaining- she did have a line in the interview.

And she was finally going to be on television as herself. Without the baggy clothes or the jackets. She was in a crop sleeveless top, and cargo shorts that revealed her thighs. It was a bold step for her, and even a bolder step for the media. She was about to be the first openly transgender woman to be interviewed on mainstream media in Nigeria.

And somehow that made her more nervous, before of course she would receive the comforting Silva glare it was what she called it, because it always found a way to calm her anxieties. To calm her.

"Okay we've gone over this multiple times. In your hands, you have the interview questions and the answers expected from you. We have exactly thirty minutes for this, and one minute till we go live" The reporter clapped her hands, swinging through the backstage curtains. She was calm really-they all were. And her hands softly squeezed Mira's shoulders as she brought her feet to the grounds.

"You can do this" She whispered just as Mira heaved in a deep breath. "You are brave for this" She smiled before pulling away from her. She glanced into the mirror, touching up her hair for just one second. "Come on people, it's show time, we go live in thirty seconds" She yelled.

Mira hastily caught up to Silva as they walked into the filming room with large tv screens and cameras already in their position. There was the man behind the desk with the cards already in his hands. The breezy air conditioner blew right in her already cold face as Mira walked to the marble center table. "Come on" Silva whispered, taking Mira's hands to help her up the stairs. But then there was a sharp pain that struck his chest that he let out a chesty cough- "Are you okay?"

He clutched his chest with his left palm before turning to Mira. "Of course i am" He whispered and they made their way to the conference chairs. "We go live in three, two." "One"

"It's quite a sunny day in Western Lagos, isn't it Jacob?"

There were two of them now, alongside the other woman. She had a smile across her face as she replied. "I was just wondering the exact same thing. Coming to work in the heat i mean i something i feel at least a majority of Lagosians can relate to" She faced the camera. "And don't let me get started on the traffic-" The man scoffed.

"Anyways, we'll live the trials and tribulations that come with the city for the nighttime show. Right now, we welcome you to the Midday Talk Show where we would be discussing the video which i assume alot of you have already seen. And with us here are the talks of the town themselves- Dasilva Jones, and Mira Adebayo" She said.

"And we are your hosts, Pam"

"And Jacob" He completed. "And we will be right back-"

-

"So how has things been going for you?" Madu's voice was low beneath the tidal wave sounds. They were on the shores of the Lagos beach, far away from the hospitable Abule Egba-they were on the island.

Where Obi had heard tales of the mermaids and the witches that flew on brooms. He knew they were just fables but still. It would be fun to think we weren't just the ones that roamed the planet. Maybe there were aliens, vampires and all of that, but that would be a reach. The thought of that went through his mind as he hung his legs out the window.

"Well right now, i'm reading this pretty fantastic book" He raised the novel in his hands. "Well not fantastic fantastic, i mean it's tragic but then the writer captures all these emotions and it reminds me of some of Olamide's poems" He scoffed. "When he used to write anyways" He added. "Obi."

"I'm not talking about the book. I'm talking about you" She said, turning away to see her bodyguard smoking a joint by the window. She cleared her throat and Obi did too. "Well, this book is perhaps my escape from my life" "My fucking tragic life" He put it away, folding his legs just a bit. They were parked beneath one tent and though it was just afternoon, the clouds were well out in the skies as if it were about to rain the next second.

Hassan was quiet, letting Obi finish his words. Perhaps, she would understand then what he meant by that. "You know, i was outed sometime ago in school" He looked to Hassan.

"In the most embarrassing way, with pictures and all of that but i guess i'm okay now. I got my tires slashed today and someone thought it wise to use a stone to carve out a f slur on my bike. It's why i walked, all the way for more than an hour. But i guess i'm somewhat used to it" Obi whispered.

"It's better than how i imagined things would turn out. I thought of getting expelled or maybe worse but "

"Obi, that's not okay" Hassan heaved a deep breath. "I'm so sorry" She continued and he pulled his legs from the windows. "I can't be mad; because karma already got the best of the person that outed me" Obi replied. "What? You can still be mad at everyone. No one should have to g—"

"He's dead"

"I don't care" Madu widened her eyes. "I really don't care. You shouldn't have to think it's okay because they didn't expel you or worse. That's the bare minimum, Obi" "And you're not less of a person, or a human because of who you are. It's why i say being gay is like a superpower" She said.

Obi chuckled lightly. "Then why does the world treat us like villains?" He asked. Hassan reached out to his hands. "When you grow up, you'll finally realize that being a villain isn't such a bad thing" She replied.

"You don't understand" Obi whispered.

"Actually to some extent, you are right"

I wish i could tell you that i feel your pain. That i do understand but the truth is, i don't. I can't relate because i never even had to go to a school with other people. It might be why people say i'm privileged" She whispered. "But i do understand the struggles of coming out to the public. To all that judgement especially when your dad is a huge deal"

"That's the thing, i didn't get to come out. It was more of being dragged out of the closet. It was more of being pushed against my will, my timing. It felt like my identity was taken away from me"

"And i remember how in that moment, my heart dropped because it felt like as if i lost that sense of control. Like my life was over and i walked a distance to the beach and tried to drown myself" This was the first time he ever talked about that, and he watched Hassan's eyes go limp with pity.

"I almost gave up because i felt like i couldn't even talk to anyone"

"You can talk to me, Obi" Hassan offered and all he did was scoff. "So i'd feel more of a burden?" Madu pulled away from him as the tears welled up in his brown eyes.

"I remember coming home to the internet, searching how to deal with shit like this and the internet apologized to me. And told me to replace a coping mechanism and uhm, to try to stay positive. Hence, this book" He scoffed. "And staying positive is all i've been doing all this time. And i don't think i've fully let it out yet. I feel it bottled" He added.

"You dont have to stay positive every time"

"I wish someone told me that a month ago" He chuckled as he wiped his tears. "It isn't late, Obi. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to scream, scream. I would literally leave this car for you except you want me to stay" Hassan said. "Which i would, but it doesn't matter. All that matters is that you replace a way to let it out of your system. A healthy way-" At that word, Obi remembered he had tried drugs.

And the thought of that made him suddenly burst out laughing. He clutched his stomach, looking out of the windows because there was that feeling of that day-the feeling of a brick hitting you and you're breathless. The laughter slowly transitioned into tears and Madu chuckled as well till there was water in her eyes.

They looked to each other as Madu opened her palms on the car seat. Obi looked to it as he sniffled. In a second, he took it and she wiped her hair from her face. "That-" "That i do understand" She whispered.

-

Fiyin let her bags fall from her shoulders as she walked in front door. Her eyes first settled on him, and the cigarette right in front of him and a breath escaped her lips.

She walked to the couch, sitting right beside him. "I swear i haven't done it yet" He whispered and she hummed, using style to inhale the air for smoke. He wasn't lying-but that didn't mean he hadn't thought of doing it. She rested back into the chair as he cleared his throat.

"How was school?" He'd asked the one question that had triggered all the events that led to this very moment. It was not as if she could tell him she was at the police station to report a rape that had happened about six months ago. So she smiled, tilting her head to him. "It was okay-" She whispered and he took her hands.

"I wanted to talk to you kiddo"

"And i've not really had the time since we got back" He cleared his throat as if he was about to cough, those were alot frequent these days with his early stage lung cancer. His prognosis was good, and his chances even better given he starts the treatment on time, if only he could afford it.

"I know it's the hardest thing one could ask his daughter but you're already so strong on your own" Tobi whispered and Fi rolled her eyes. "Please don't tell me to traffick any drugs" She teased and her father let out a soft chuckle. "Harder" He replied.

"The doctor sent the bills for my medication and you know it's alot i shouldn't even have to tell you. I have some money which i kept aside for you, and maybe your college applications because it isn't enough. Now, i swore that no matter how bad things got, i'm never touching that money" His voice cracked. "You've already been robbed of many things-" She shook her head, knowing where this was headed. "Please don't tell me you rejected treatment?" She asked him, threatening to pull her arms away but he held it.

"Listen to me. I had to make a choice"

"And it was the easiest choice i've made in a while. The choice to give you a better future than i had, than Ophelia had. The execution was terrible, but my intentions never were" He whispered and tears stung her eyes. "There will come a time however, you would have to make a pretty easy choice too—" There was sarcasm in his voice.

"And i know you will make the right one. I'm dreamt about the day i'd die, and i already knew it was written somewhere in the stars that i would leave you behind. I already made peace with that, now you should too. Because when that time does, don't bother saving me" He added and a tear slipped down her cheeks.

"I've already been through so much pain, so just hold my hand and maybe sing me a song-the song that Ophelia liked maybe" He whispered. "I trust you with my life, i always had and i'm sorry that no matter how hard i tried, you saw me at my worst. I'm trying now, a hundred times more so i don't put you through half of that anymore" Tobi held unto his only daughter. "And that's another promise i will keep till the day i die" He continued. "Bu-"

"You don't have to say anything now, it won't be for a while. I just wanted you to know" He moved closer to her and she closed her mouth, refraining from whatever she was about to say. She filled her lungs with air, closing her eyes as well. She just needed rest, it had been a long day.

The room was quiet, and though Deborah had promised to be there she was still a distance from her. Officer Dare was one of the people there but he wasn't the one to ask her the questions. In total they were about four, spread around a large crystal table and a recorder between them.

She heaved a deep sigh, knowing the exact questions they were about to ask. And she had to prepare herself. Deborah nodded from across the room and she turned to the woman before her. "Are you ready?" She whispered. Fiyin nodded, holding unto the chair.

She clicked the recorder and then rested back. "Can you tell me about yourself?" She asked. Fi locked eyes with her.

"My name is Fiyinoluwa Bamidele, i'm a seventeen year old student of Hillway High. Ss3, i love cookies and milk, and cocopops cereal. Lost my mother at a very young age, and only reconciled with my father recently. My life wasn't always like this, especially about six months ago" She said.

"I was raped by someone in power, someone that was meant to protect me. To guide me. And it took me this long to finally heal. To tell my story-" She paused as the lady leaned to her. "And who is this person?" She asked. "Collins McPhersons" She didn't hesitate.

And once she finally said his name, it was as if there was this weight that was suddenly lifted from her chest. And from her lips came a sigh. "Collins McPhersons raped me" To be continued...