Wild West of the Heart
EIGHTY FIVE

NOW

Deborah dragged Fiyin's arms from behind the supermarket and they were headed down the roads. The sound of the fireworks shook their hearts as they looked up-failing to realize when their hands held unto each other. Their shoulders brushed as Deb took off her glasses. The crowds were somewhat at a distance from them and Fi had stopped to take a breather. She looked down at her undone laces before bending down to tie them. Deborah got to them before her, but their heads ended bumping each other.

"Ouch" She exclaimed before they burst out laughing and Fi just sat there in a squat, locking eyes with Deb who didn't shy away. However, interrupting them was a cough from behind and they turned back to see Ola standing there. Fiyin immediately stood. "Hi" She waved awkwardly and Ola just let it slide. He cleared his throat again, walking towards them with his placard in his hands. "Hi" He replied before nodding to Deborah. "What are you doing so far back?"

He shrugged. "I only just came. I would say the same but i see why you're so far back" He teased.

My bad, he didn't let it slide. However, it was a statement they all found funny. "How about Nathaniel?" Fi suddenly asked and Ola just shrugged his shoulders, walking past Deborah. He looked down on her tracksuits and nodded. "Nice pants"

She furrowed her brows. "Thanks?" She replied with a questioning tone before Fi pulled her away. "Enough Ola" She begged, going red from embarrassment for some reason and Mide let out a soft chuckle.

"Deborah is my best fri-Deborah is my person. And that's the best explanation that i can give" There was a smile on Deb's lips as the one on Ola's vanished.

"Ola" Someone called him from behind and he cleared his throat, turning around to see Abdul in a long black jalamia and grey sandals. He scoffed. "Where have you been?" Ola reached for his arms but Ab backed away slightly, as if he wasn't there for the small talk. "What's up?"

Fiyin and Deb stood behind, noticing how moist his eyes looked as his lips parted to speak. "Ola, where is Obi?" He pushed a lump down his throat, right after question.

And even Ola was dumbfounded.

"I really need to talk to him" Abdul added, slipping his hands into his pockets. "I think i messed up—"

TWELVE HOURS EARLIER

Silva climbed down the stairs, holding his shirt in his hands. He tossed his head over his shoulders as he made his way across his driveway.

There was a red stain on the sleeves and he turned it inside out before tossing it in the bin. He was in white sleeveless top and he suddenly felt nauseous. Holding the edge, he threw up right on top of the shirt.

He groaned, not exactly feeling his best the past few days, it didn't take him that much time to wheel the bin across the lawn, and to the side of the house. Pulling out the match box from his pockets, he grabbed a stick. A flame ignited once he'd struck and he let it fall. Silva stepped back, watching the flames go up in front of him.

He clutched his chest, taking another step back. And another, and one more. The fire turned his eyes crimson as he watched it burn, and in that moment Silva would lie to you if he said he didn't feel some sense of peace, finally. It was pretty ironical, that fire could bring one peace.

NOW

"Obi"

He heard that familiar voice from behind him and he halted, letting go of Madu's hands. The chants seemed to cross over him as Obi just stood there before turning back.

"Abdul?" Came a pretty doubtful call as if it were a hologram before him. And honestly, even the thought of that was more believable than the reality that Abu was standing there, hands in his long muslim gown— -opposite him. "What are you doing here?"

"Can i talk to you?" He ignored his question, pointing to the pinnacle of a billboard on which they could sit. Obi looked up, the fireworks still burning above him, before he looked back to him. "Sure." He replied, looking back at Madu who had made her way with the crowds.

He loved roofs.

Something about being away from the world when it got too noisy-he loved staring down at the chaos without being in it. And in that moment, it seemed to be the perfect place to be.

Obi say down, letting his legs fall between a space in the metals, and Abdul sat right beside him. In that moment, he wanted to ask where he had been, totally forgetting the course of their last conversation. Like i said before, Obi wanted to forget all the hurtful things that he said-

but no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't. Something about being hurt by someone you love just stays with you, it resides in like a knife in the same wound.

So Obi couldn't forget because he was still reminded of those words. He couldn't ask, they both just stayed in the silence which was all they needed. Obi's eyes fell on the crowd that had gone a distance, knowing he would have to take a keke to catch up with them.

It wasn't as if Abdul didn't have any words to tell Obi because he had too, he wasn't just sure how to continue from where they had left off, which was in the school hallway where he'd wished he hadn't met him at all. Now clearheaded, he realized that was the worst thing he could say and even being angry wasn't enough justification.

So as much as he just wanted to remain silent with the person he still loved, he knew he had to talk. Obi's nails trailed the edge of the board, where his feet dashed against a Coca-Cola advert. Abdul cleared his throat- "I'm leaving."

Obi squinted his eyes because of the sun. "What?"

"I'm leaving" Abdul said the exact thing as if it was suddenly supposed to make sense. Obi looked to him with those half-closed eyes. "My mum, she spoke to Collins" "About everything" He broke his sentence, and Obi's lips fell apart, remembering his first impression of Khadija the day her daughter was to wed.

"It's okay, honestly. I've dealt with it in my own way, and i've made peace with everything that has happened- She didn't tell my dad, well mostly because of that fact that the whole family would blame her if her only two children went away" His voice lowered as he cupped his chin.

"So she just spoke to my aunt, who promised to accept me back in Kaduna once the school year is over" He added and Obi immediately reached to him. "But-Princeton?" He called his dream school and all Ab did was let out a scoff.

"A lot has changed since then Obi. A lot of self doubt and questioning, and i'm not really sure my mother would approve me of going as fat as another continent. With what happened with Aaliyah and now" He replied. "She says i can school here for now, under an institution that can correct me" He said the very words that sank Obi's heart.

"Correct you?" He echoed. Abu nodded.

"It's a correction school, for people like me. Like us. They think they can convert us through therapy and other m—"

"Abdul that's a crime. This isn't the 1800s" He gripped his palm out of fear, but he was soon reminded of that familiar touch-that electric feel whenever their skins brushed on each other. "They can't change you-it isn't some choice" He withdrew his hands and Ab had tears in his eyes.

"What if i want to change?"

"What?" Obi whispered, and a tear slipped down his cheeks. "What if i want to be normal i don't know. So i won't get to deal with terrible shit like being outed to the entire school and then my mother. All of my life, i've hated this part of me and you you were the only one that made me feel good about myself. And when i lost you, everything was back as it was" Abdul sobbed.

"I was depressed, alone and scared. And i knew if i had the choice to be straight, i would take it in a second because i hate the way i feel. I hate that i have to grow through all of this" He cried, and even Obi had tears in his eyes. "Abdul" He softly called. "I dont regret anything, with you. And if i could go all the way back, i would" He whispered.

"You didn't lose me" Obi took his hand again, this time firmer. And he shook him. "You didn't lose me" He said. "But i don't deserve you"

"That isn't fair. That isn't your call, it's mine. And i love you, stupidly and each day more and more. And not talking to you felt like something was eating me up inside. I should be mad, because of all the things that you said" Obi cried. "But i can't be mad at you" Abdul reached for his red cheeks as he sniffled. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that i hurt you after promising that i would never. I'm so sorry and you don't even have to forgive me because i don't even forgive myself" Obi held his cheeks as well as he nodded.

"I forgive you, without a doubt. And i don't want you punishing yourself for anything because i was wrong too, you were right about trust and about Nate-i never should have made it seem like you couldn't trust me" He replied. "But i swear, nothing ever happened"

"I believe you" Abdul nodded. "I believe you, Obi. And i was such a fool because everything hurt you just as much as it hurt me. And when we could have been there for each other, i bailed" Abdul had mucous coming from his nose and he cried so hard that even Obi couldn't control himself.

"That school hurt us in a million ways and it was supposed to be senior year, the time of our lives" Obi's voice went shrill as he dramatized with his hands. "It was supposed to be good. We were supposed to be good" He whispered. "I messed this up" Ab replied. "They messed us up" Obi filled his lungs with air as he pulled away. "The self-hate, i've been there too. And i think every gay person has to"

"What i can tell you is that it isn't worth it. There's a whole life outside of school, someone told me, a better life. Not like this, not with Collins or any of anything. You could be whatever it is that you want" Obi looked away. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying Kaduna isn't worth it. And if you want to go to Princeton, you should go to Princeton. Or you want to stay with me, you can stay with me. But Kaduna should never be an option" He said before silence fell between them. And by the look in his eyes, Obi could tell it was late and this wasn't much of an option for Abdul.

The silence left their fate in the open, with a question mark above it.

But there wasn't much time to ponder on whatever this conversation made them. Because suddenly, the clouds that were once filled with the colorful fireworks had turned dark. Obi stood, pointing to the skies with his mouth agape. "What is that?"

Abdul was close to him, and also taller than him. His eyes were set on where the plunging smoke came from and a gasp escaped his lips, seeing ad that was a he direction the crowd was headed into. "What is that?" Obi asked again. "Fire."

"Something's on fire-" He looked to Obi.

EIGHT HOURS EARLIER

"Your mum would like to speak to you" Titi said, always sipping one thing or the other. This time, it was freshly squeezed orange juice-something she could spend the whole day arguing, though untrue, was better than apple. But leave that for Mary.

Now, they were sat in the living room, with Mary questioning whether or not to tell him about the divorce or perhaps about plans maybe. "Please tell me it isn't about Pops-" He rolled his eyes, seldomly calling Akin that.

And Mary sat forward in her seat. "I'm thinking about going back to school" Mary replied and Olamide felt a brow raise. "School?" He echoed. "Nursing school. And i know i'm forty five and i'm old an-"

"Mum, shut up. I'm so sorry but shut up" He rushed to hold her in for a hug and she exclaimed, clutching his back. "I'm so happy for you" He held her tight as if never intending to let go.

"You know you don't have to be a doctor for me" She later whispered into his ears and he pulled away- "What?"

"Oh please, you dont have to pretend. I'm your mother, i always know" She placed his head back on her shoulders. "My point is, whatever it is you want to do with your life, please not drugs again and no cults and" She paused, pushing a lump down her throat. "I don't know about Will but i'm going to try to support you because i'm your mum"

"Whoever you chose to love, and whatever it is you want to do, i'll be here i promise. No more heart attacks, no more Akin. Just know that i'm always here, for as long as i can" Mary whispered and Titi just smiled, looking at them. It wasn't until Ola felt a buzz in his pockets that he pulled away and he reached for his phone to see Fi's message.

Fi: just got back from the police. Told them about Collins.

He had a smirk morph on his lips as he slipped it back in his pockets. He looked to Mary as he heaved in a deep breath. "Can i ask you for something, mum?" He asked.

"What is it?" She arched her brows, looking up at him. He pushed a lump down his throat. "It's about dad's old friend. Collins. I know you know him" She matched his eyes as she rested back into the couch. "And i want to know him" NOW

Fire calmed Silva.

But that wasn't always the case, watching the ash fall from the skies like rain and the smell of smoke invading a hundred lungs-Silva stood there, holding unto his placard, at the peak of his anxieties.

He could see it from a distance, alongside the people that emerged from it. It was a local supermarket that was set ablaze with some hoodlums going in to loot. Just like that, a once peaceful protest went south.

But they weren't about to back down, not even at the sound of approaching sirens. "There's a group of people, heading towards us. They're yelling, they're screaming kill the gays-" Mira tried to catch her breath as he grabbed Silva. "Silva" She yelled over the noise around them. Some chanting, and some running at the sight of opposition and fire. And the police. It wasn't soon until chaos ensued and the markets were being invaded by the hoodlums heading towards them. Silva looked to Mira, as if making sense of his environment. But without second thought, he marched towards them alongside the few that stood their grounds.

"Enough is enough" His voice started low. "Enough is enough. There is no backing down until there is change. Enough is enough" It transitioned into a yell, a raging one. And he didn't care how much smoke he let into his lungs, how much ash went into his mouth. Or how weak his knees actually were, how drained his entire body was.

It had been hours.

But he wasn't tired.

They weren't headed towards him but rather into the stores, setting fire and scrambling for the most that they could. He had tears in his eyes, Silva. Especially as the police drew closer and closer to them. Mira was scared, but she was the type of friend that could and would follow you into fire.

"Justice for Jazzlyn. Justice for Reginald. Justice for Grace" He yelled, making his way towards the police car. He yelled, taking his stand in front of it and they came to a halt. The remaining crowd quieted as Mira trailed him. Silva held the board to the windshield as the doors opened.

"Stop killing us" He whispered before falling to his knees, and then laying his back against the bare road. He went flat, just as the army boots alighted close to him.

Immediately, Mira went to the ground as well. And one by one, more and more people followed after them, each holding their cards in the air. Everything suspended amongst time the moment a shot went into the dark skies. And it wasn't fireworks.

Mira and Silva laid opposite each other, but in a way that their heads and hands touched. She closed her eyes at the sound of the gunshot and Silva clung tighter. "Enough is enough" He whimpered as the air was suddenly infiltrated with tear gas, forcing more and more people to flee for their lives. Yet, they still laid there although the low visibility and the soldiers marched across them.

They grabbed the placards, tossing it against the ground that it shattered and while only a few of them went after the rioters, the rest were picking up the protesters from the ground. "We should go " Mira whispered, though she couldn't see Silva. He coughed, so hard it hurt his chest.

"I'm not leaving. You don't understand" He whispered. "It isn't just Reginald and Jazz" He coughed again as there was shrill screams in the air, smoke, soot-tear-gas and even more gunshots to scare people away. Mira was the first to have her legs grabbed and yet, Silva held tighter.

"Help" She yelled, as the army tore them apart from each side. "Silva-" Mira finally let go of his hands as she tossed to the grounds. Immediately she tried to stand, the man used the end of the gun against her face that she fell. "Mira" Silva wailed, hearing the sound of her screams. He had to tears well up in his eyes as he struggled to get away from the soldiers. "She's hurt" He pushed against them, and they didn't utter a word—they just held unto him. Mira scrambled to the side of the pavement as more shots ravaged the air. She whimpered, with blood from her head.

"Silva."

This was no way she planned that today would go. Car alarms went off and the screaming hadn't stopped. Only the soldiers had protective material around their faces. Silva still struggled, managing to let go of the one that held him. But immediately he turned around, he felt something pierce through him. "Mira" Was the first name that came out of his lips, in a soft whisper. He tried taking another step but he stopped-not consciously, he just couldn't move, feeling like his lungs were closing up on him. It wasn't until he cupped his chin that he saw his bleeding chest. He let out a gasp from the panic as his knees fell to the ground.

Mira had crawled a few steps before she almost tripped on something before her. She looked down, and behind it was Silva, facing the skies. She let out a heart-gutting scream as she gripped his arms. "Help" There was a crack in her voice. "Somebody help me" She turned to the soldiers.

"Don't just sta-"

"Mira" Silva choked and she looked down at him and the blood that stained his chest. "It's okay" He whispered as she reached to apply pressure on his wounds but he turned to the side with every ounce of strength he had left. "Don't touch me, Mira" He urged in a whisper. And she stared at him with an arch in her brows. "I'm bleeding" A tear slipped down his cheeks as her lips fell wide open.

"I have it—" He whispered. "I have it, Mira" He nodded, trying to hold in the pain and she backed away. Looking down on him, Mira clenched her lips. "Don't tou-" He didn't get to finish before his hands fell beside him. And all she could see through the gas, as she covered her nose, was his eyes opened to her, aillmi-which roughly translated to what she feared the most. Lifeless.

To be continued...