Wizard of the Wood
Cold Shoulder Catching Feels

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11

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The two of them couldn’t move, eyes locked in an intense staring competition. Essie, confused, watched as Rylir broke first by turning away and walking to the fixed line that led to his shelf. Instinctually, she leaned forward and reached out to place her hand under him, but he reared his head back in a snarl.

“Don’t touch me! I can get up on my own!” Rylir spat. Essie, surprisingly, felt her chest tighten as she heard her hand sized companion say this. She wasn’t accustomed to this side of him,not was she used to him refusing her assistance.

He just wasn’t thinking rationally. Surely he knew that her way was more efficient, even if they did just have a heated disagreement.

“Rylir,” Essie began after Rylir made it halfway up the line. “This is…”

“What? Pointless Unnecessary?” puffed Rylir as he climbed the line hand over fist. “Just like me.” Essie felt a physical pit churn her insides.

“Your negative perception of yourself is alarming,” she stated. “Your contributions are far more significant that you give yourself credit for.”

“Oh?” huffed Rylir as he finally flung himself over the edge of the shelf ledge. “Tell me this then, oh wise one, name one thing you’ve let me do on my own.” Rylir stood boldly by the ledge, arms at his sides with his fists curled into fists of frustration.

Essie thought for a moment but thought of one particular instance.

“I let you climb that line, albeit foolishly,” muttered Essie, feeling hesitant in her response, which was something that made her feel uneasy. Being so sure of herself most of the time made not knowing the answers to Rylir’s questions very difficult. At her response, Rylir scoffed.

“Only after I said something. Name one other time,” demanded Rylir firmly. Essie thought for a time about his contributions.

“You contribute to making dinner,” pointed out Essie, and Rylir rolled his eyes in response.

“You mean when I start to bring something over and you use one of your spells to bring it over to your hand?”

“It is a more efficient…” Oh…

“See? Right there! It is more efficient, but it means that you didn’t need me in the first place. If you can use your magic to grind the grain rather than using my machines, or set the table, or gather ingredients, or anything else, why do you need me?” asked Rylir.

Essie, bristling, narrowed her eyes and felt herself going on the offensive.

“Then why did you elect to stay? You could have left after you recovered. Why did you decide to stay? I offered to send you anywhere you wanted to go, and you have yet to take me up on that particular offer. Why?” countered Essie.

“Because I wanted to stay. Because I wanted to learn from you and learn more about you. I thought I could help you, but that’s obviously not the case. You don’t need me, so why would I stay?” asked Rylir. With that, he turned around and began shoving what few belongings he had into his satchel.

Essie felt confused and, to her own surprise, alarm. She felt a nauseous churning and a tightness in her chest. Her body had never betrayed her like this. What was he doing? What was he planning? Was he… leaving?

More importantly… why was she feeling this way?

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Leaving,” stated Rylir. She bit her lower lip in frustration and looked away, shaking her head. He wasn’t thinking rationally, but he was no prisoner here. Methodically, she began pulling out herbs to use for a teleportation circle.

“Very well,” she stated quietly as she began making the outline on her desk. “Where do you want to go?”

“No. I mean I am walking out of here on my own,” said Rylir firmly.

“Don’t be foolish. There’s a significant amount of snow outside and the mountainside is treacherous. You will…”

“I will do what I want and leave the way I want to leave,” stated Rylir. “Thank you for your generosity.” Essie clenched her jaw, uncertain why tendrils of stress were ensnaring her lungs and making it difficult to breathe. What was happening? What was going on with her?

“Very well, I shan’t keep you against your will,” she said quietly. She felt sick to her core, but she watched as Rylir descended the line from the shelf to the desk, and then from the desk to the floor. She heard his small footsteps against the cold ground walk across the floor until he was at the door, which she opened with a flick of her wrist and a simple arcane phrase.

Before he stepped over the threshold, she side-eyed him.

“Rylir, I would be remiss to mention that this is a foolish decision, descending the mountain on your own,” stated Essie. With a hefty sigh, Rylir nodded.

“Yeah, it probably is, but at least I’m the one making the decision. Thank you for what you’ve done for me, Essie. Maybe our paths will cross again,” stated Rylir before crossing the threshold into the frigid mountain air.

Essie stood there for some unmeasurable amount of time. She could only stare blankly ahead, thinking about everything Rylir had said.

Had he really been feeling this way for so long? She didn’t think she was treating him any different than her mentor. Then again… perhaps she recognized that she was the trainee and Kaven was the master, and therefore wasn’t as forward with her assistance.

She was just trying to be helpful by expediting the process. Didn’t it make more sense to finish a task with magic? Didn’t it make more sense to conserve energy rather than expend it trying to drag or lift something that was larger than yourself?

And to his other point…

Was she really screaming in her sleep? It seemed logical to assume she was being tormented in her sleep. But, if that were the case, why didn’t she remember? Did she want to?

Why didn’t she want to know? What did she feel in the back of her mind? What dark veil had she brushed as, for a fraction of a moment, she touched that invisible curtain in her mind to discover the answers behind? What unnerved her about it so much?

When another cold gust of wind whipped past and nudged her door open further, she stepped up to it and stared out into the frozen land before her. She could see where Rylir’s footsteps led off into the forest and down the mountainside.

She wondered if he was alright or if he was currently careening down the slick stones that were scattered along the mountain face. Did he remember to bring enough supplies to make it down the mountain? Was he going to come back with others with a vengeance? Or would she ever see him again?

Essie turned her ice-shard like eyes to the sky to see the midnight blue blanket of stars and galaxies above her.

For a moment, she thought about charging out into the darkness after the small man, but what would she do? What could she say? No amount of logic would be able to reach him, and the whole feelings thing was too much.

Besides, she didn’t have the answers he was looking for. She didn’t know why she collected those toxic mushrooms, and she didn’t know why she woke up in a cold sweat on some mornings.

Essie stepped back into her home, hands pressed against the wooden door in defeat.

Of all the questions rattling around in her head, one continued to fester – and it hadn’t come from Rylir.

The question was one that made her chest ache and her insides churn.

Why did she care about what Rylir did so much? They had known one another for such a short amount of time. Did she… actually care about him?