Wolf Dominion
Chapter 50

Raygar takes me to Lemeri’s old room. I guess he replaces it holds a certain kind of privacy, or familiarity with me in it. I had only been in here a couple of times… but okay?

Inside her old room, the furniture is untouched and I even see her red dresses hanging by an open wardrobe.

Raygar reclines on an arm chair by a round window, holding the wooden arms so tight his knuckles strain.

Tense, much?

I stand in the centre of the room, after eyeing every corner.

I focus on Ray, who had to ‘teach me a lesson’ or something like that for attempting to murder Hades.

“Ryder. The way you attacked Hades – you didn’t sound like a solider,” Raygar drawls, sounding mean already, “…you sounded fanatic.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, slowly.

“Obsessed… with death – why?” Raygar murmurs slow.

“I was trained to –”

“No, you weren’t trained to be a lunatic,” Raygar smirks a bit, “See what I did there? Lunat –”

“There is nothing wrong with me,” I cut him off, my stare turning to a sharp glare.

“Too quick,” Raygar tries to keep in an evil chuckle, “Nothing is right with you. I liked you before, all timid and shy. Now you’re insane. It’s not attractive. You spit in my face. Argh. Not very polite.”

“This is about that?” I whisper, “Try being in chains and enslaved, then complain to me.”

“Oh, you’re soo ‘loyal’. Bye, bye, so-called loyalty to W–” Raygar speaks slow and mocking – provoking me forward.

I almost lunge, but I halt awkwardly with one foot in front as I pause in my aggressive advance.

My eyes flash as I change tactic.

I use my tongue instead.

“You’ll never see Lemeri again, she’s back home now,” I whisper, “Where she belongs.”

An eye for an eye. If he was going to play pathetic, so was I.

Raygar immediately stands to meet my challenge – and now we’re both close to brawling. Although, I do notice him visibly trying to reign in his anger, as his fingers curl in and out of fists by his side.

Gathering his reply, Ray also chooses to stick with words. He holds my gaze as he snarls low, “Skye wants to build the bond up with Cat Dominion,” Raygar steps into my space and leans down to hiss in my ear, “I want to kill them all, I would bet…” he leans back, to read my eyes, “So does Xrat. They killed his siblings after all. Rrot hates them too. We could make a great team, you and I. You could get your son back if we did something.”

“You want to form an alliance behind Skye’s back?” I ask, not surprised, “With me?”

“You’re the Luna, it’s not just you anymore,” Raygar says this surprisingly sweetly, reaching up a hand to pet my cheek. I let him, although I don’t smile or lean into it, “When you rule the greatest Dominion, Ryder, shouldn’t you gain what you want? Why does Skye sacrifice so much – he’s so stupid sometimes. I’m not. I’m ruthlessly selfish. Maybe it’s our young age – 19. Would you like to cause trouble with me? I don’t want to turn off the killer in you. I’d rather stand with you. And what about your baby boy – that you’ve never met –?”

“I would do anything to get my son back,” I whisper impulsively, it’s all my brain can focus on. It’s so intense. Don’t act on the heart in a war, the heart is blind, act on strategy and don’t waver. Jawkin’s words. I immediately step back from Raygar, “It’s a fantasy that we can’t act upon,” I change my tune, “No.”

Raygar steps back with my rejection and he sits back on the chair once more, his eyes slowly turning red as he holds his breath and his tears – looking past me over Lemeri’s room.

“…I miss her… Ryder,” Raygar admits, as one tear dribbles down his sharp cheek bone, “I think about Meri every second of every day.”

“What was it about her –” I ask gently, even as I stand stoic, “ – that you loved?”

“She was so lonely growing up here, I befriended her, first to tease, but we both fell in love with each other’s… strange desires. Me, reckless for adventure. Lemeri, desperate for attention. Any kind of attention. We balanced each other. I felt sane around her. She felt sane around me. Apart… I feel nothing now… I tried to get her back, I was ambushed – and barley survived it too. Dumb. But I guess I needed to learn that lesson. Now here I am,” Raygar’s fingers tap along the arm rests, rather than squeeze it this time, “Lost… in pain and loneliness. And I finally…” he pauses.

“What?” I ask, curious.

“I finally understand you. Really. I pity you. How you had no one, then us, we happened so briefly… you and I, and of course Skye and you… and of course, Vastian too… you, found a home – only to be released on your first mission as if your life meant nothing. And it didn’t back then. Humans are so… expendable. Worms. Look at you now,” Raygar eyes me over quickly, admitting so abruptly, “…I was dead fucking wrong...”

“What?” It’s all I can ask again, a snapped soldiers’ question, still in a state of shock.

“I was wrong about treating you like absolute filth, I’m sorry we built you up to be broken, then punished you for a year for shooting me – rightly so for what you paid with your limb being lost. I am… offering you now… an apology… of sorts,” Raygar shrugs one little shoulder, his lip almost trembling, “I’m sorry, Ryder,” Trust no one. I respond with utter silence, although it’s hard to look normal. I barely blink as I stare him down instead, “Okay. Let’s get out of here,” Raygar exhales as he stands, “Follow me,” he walks past and I do follow, but he pauses a step from the door and turns around to answer me, my silent question in my head, where were we going? “I’m going to pamper the shit out of you. Let’s get drunk together,” he is so passionate about this.

I didn’t know what pamper means.

And I’ve never been intoxicated although I do know what that means.

I just nod, replying without words, and I follow.

Loyal to my enemy as always – whom now seemed to be apologising?

Skye and Raygar seemed to be… both sorry.

Nothing made me more uncomfortable than pity – especially pity I never thought could happen.

It does make me wonder, though.

What else could change?