You Saved Me Once Book 1
Chapter 32: 17You Should Know

"Oh, come on it was a joke Richards!" Hayes shouts to me as I get out of the pool.

"Fine, we're going in the Jacuzzi!" Rochelle says.

Jeff follows behind me.

"Leave me alone Jeff!" I yell.

"Alex! Alex, slow down." Jeff rushes after me.

When I can no longer walk, I cover my face. He picks at my fingers, until our eyes meet.

I hate that I'm like this. I hate that things get to me, like this.

"Alex are you okay?" He asks.

I shake my head, at the trigger words.

"I can't breathe. I think I'm having a panic attack." I say.

I'm pacing the living room, every few seconds I stop to catch my breath.

Everything was too close, everything was too loud. My heart is rac-ing. The air is disappearing.

"Alex. What do I do?" Jeff stutters.

I can't speak.

Jeff shouts my name, I jump, I'm scared. I am crying now.

Jeff gives me a hug. My face is against his bare chest.

"Thank you." I say.

He nods his head, and we both stare at each other. Tears still fall down my cheek when I kiss Jeff again.

This time I wanted to stop my thoughts. More importantly, I want-ed Jeff to want me.

We both walk over to the couch, and I climb on top of him, pressing both my lips, and body against his.

I feel Jeff's tongue collide with mine. I'm gliding my tongue against his still wet bottom lip. Jeff holds my upper back, then goes lower and lower until he reaches my waist. I kiss his neck and comb his hair with my hands.

Jeff calls my name, but I ignore him.

I want to feel so into Jeff, as if I'm in a trance. I'm just forcing it though. I go for Jeff's shorts, but he grabs my hands, and interlaces them with his.

He calls me again, almost offended. I'm still pressed against him.

"What?" I ask.

"Yeah, I'm not doing this." He says.

He lets go of my hands.

"What are you talking about?" I lie.

"I go to ask you what's wrong, then you throw yourself at me, and you just want to have sex? Right now?" He asks.

He's serious, but I'm nervous. I chew some popcorn, trying to calm myself, with the crunch.

"You hugged me." I say.

"You were crying." He says.

"Alex, we barely know each other." He laughs.

"So." I mumble.

I'm tracing my finger on his warm, bare chest. He keeps looking at me, he wants me to look at him. I can't, I'm too ashamed.

"I thought you liked me?" I mumble.

He sighs and tugs his hair. I lean closer to him.

"I do." He's hesitant.

"But, I think you have feelings for someone else." He says.

He moves my messy hair from my face. I grab his hands and hold them. We're now face to face.

"Who are you talking about?" I ask.

Jeff looks at me again, he's waiting for a kiss. He won't stop laugh-ing, he won't stop staring at me.

When I try to get up, Jeff pulls me closer to him. He's holding my lower waist, as I climb back on top of him. My legs wrap around him. We both want each other now. "Do you want to finish the movie?" Jeff asks.

I'm pecking his neck as were laughing. He holds my waist again, as I thrust against his pelvis.

He moans.

He takes off my shirt, and I'm guiding his hands against my bra, then under. Our bodies keep colliding, I play with the string on his shorts. The texture feels nice, I pull it more. Before we go too far, Rochelle barges into the living room. She's unwillingly tugging Hayes inside.

We both say fuck in unison. I get off of Jeff and cover myself with a throw. I watch Jeff fix his shorts.

I didn't want to stop.

When our eyes meet again, Jeff is smiling a me.

"Stop." I laugh.

I nudge him, and he shakes his head, pulling me close.

Everything about him, makes me want to live. Maybe this, can work.

Rochelle and Hayes plop on the floor. For the rest of the night Jeff and I share the couch, while Hayes's head lay on my dangling feet.