Zodiac Academy 6: Fated Throne -
Fated Throne: Chapter 20
Somehow, I managed to keep up the ruse of my shadow identity and loyalty to Lionel all week, enduring the company of the K.U.N.T.s during the day and battling through the ache in my blood which drove me to return to Lionel as soon as physically possible too.
In the evenings I stole time with Darcy and Geraldine at King’s Hollow and the Heirs appeared there more often than not too.
Caleb was always full of jokes and smiles for me which lifted my mood whenever I felt down, and Seth was overly tactile which he knew I wasn’t a fan of but he wouldn’t stop all the same. The Wolf also liked to bring me snacks like candy and chocolate and I got the feeling he was trying to fatten me up a bit. The only issue was that if I didn’t eat them right away, he just stole them back and scoffed them himself so I’d taken to hiding a stash which he seemed to have decided was a challenge designed so he could sniff them out and steal them anyway. Damn mutt.
The Darius minefield was growing slightly less daunting with Max’s help, but I still found it too hard to speak to him for more than a few words here and there. Darius seemed to be accepting my need to keep my distance from him, but sometimes I caught him looking at me with so much pain in his eyes that it hurt me too. I just didn’t know how to do anything to fix it.
When Friday night finally rolled around, I was filled with a mixture of pure dread and unadulterated excitement at the prospect of seeing Lionel again and I hated the damn bond for messing with my mind so fucking much.
It was impossible for me to separate my real emotions and the ones that it forced me to experience entirely. I felt like I was carrying around this horrible secret all the time. Whenever one of the others spoke about hating Lionel or hurting him, a piece of me longed to scream or even attack them in defence of him. And I knew that wasn’t how I’d felt before he placed this curse on me, but it was getting harder and harder to remind myself of that when the longer I spent away from him, the more I hungered for him.
Fortunately, I had a valid reason to be looking forward to returning to the palace tonight beyond my pathetic need to see the man who had tortured and abused me. Gabriel had had a vision which showed me and Darcy replaceing something important in the palace grounds, so we’d made a last minute plan to sneak her in through the King’s tunnels so that what he saw could come to pass. All I had to do was make sure that Lionel was distracted while she snuck into the summerhouse where Orion was being held. Then as soon as I was certain we had a window of opportunity, I was going to meet her. Gabriel said that we’d know what to do from there. It sounded batshit to me, but I was also past the point of questioning Gabriel’s visions, so I was just going to go with it.
The moment I finished my lessons for the day, I couldn’t help but race back to my dorm, ditch my uniform and change into one of the dresses Lionel had given me for whenever I returned to his company. It was a blood red floor length gown with slits up the legs and though it was beautiful, it was definitely overkill. But Lionel insisted and it would be a pretty obvious giveaway if I turned up in jeans and a tank, so I wasn’t going to waste energy being pissy about it.
I hurried out of my room again and quickly strode through campus as I headed for the main gates with the pouch of stardust I’d been given for these journeys in my pocket.
The moment I was beyond the border, I threw the stardust over my head and before I knew it, I was standing in front of the palace gates.
The flash of cameras started up around me instantly, but I just ignored the journalists who were always camped out here as I strode forward and got into the carriage that had been sent to collect me.
Jenkins greeted me as I stepped through the palace doors and I cast my eyes over his scrunched up face and pursed lips with barely concealed dislike. I christened that look his cat’s ass face – because his mouth looked just like a cat’s butthole when he did that, and the guy was an ass so it suited him well.
‘The King isn’t back yet,’ he informed me with a bit of a sneer. ‘He has requested that you amuse yourself while you await his return at eight o’clock.’
My gut dipped with disappointment and I mentally slapped myself for feeling upset over the idea of not seeing Lionel sooner, reminding myself that this was what I’d been hoping for. He’s a big scaley dickweed who you hate more than anything in the world, so stop thinking about cuddling with him for fuck’s sake.
I nodded, not bothering to even do Jenkins the courtesy of words as I strode away from him, heading straight into the depths of the palace.
I knew where I wanted to go and I wasn’t going to waste time with that old bastard making small talk.
I headed down several long corridors, through a huge glass conservatory and pulled open a door at the rear of the enormous building before stepping out onto the lawn.
No one questioned me. I was Lionel’s little Vega pet after all, and he’d made it clear that I was allowed to do whatever I pleased. Mostly because up until very recently, the only thing that pleased me was serving him, so he had no reason to doubt my motivations for anything.
More fool him.
The summerhouse was set to the east of the palace, the cute little cottage partially hidden by an array of blooming flowers that were still as bright and colourful as if it were midsummer even though winter was setting in. The pool sat in front of it, forever steaming and whenever leaves floated down to lay on its surface, a magical wind guided them away.
I moved to the door, glancing over my shoulder, trying to be casual about it so no one thought I was up to anything before pulling the door wide and stepping inside.
Orion looked up in surprise from the book he’d been studying at the desk in the corner of the room and the tightness in my chest loosened as I looked at him. Shit, I’d really missed the grumpy asshole since he’d been hauled off to Darkmore and I’d been hauled out of my own damn mind and turned into a psycho mannequin.
‘Tory?’ he asked slowly, pushing himself to his feet as he hesitated. His hair was overgrown and his beard seriously needed a trim. No doubt Darius had already told him that I was mostly myself again now, but he was being cautious all the same.
I stepped closer, looking around to check that the place was empty and the blinds were drawn over the windows to hide us away in here.
The moment I was certain there was no one else around, I dropped my resting bitch mask, grinning at Orion in greeting and he shot towards me, a breath of laughter passing his lips as he swept me up into a fierce embrace.
I smiled like an idiot as I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed him tight as he spun me in a circle.
“I’m so glad their plan to bring you back worked,” he muttered.
‘Shit, dude, don’t start crying on me. I thought you were meant to be an asshole?’ I teased and he laughed against my hair as he gave me an extra squeeze.
‘Give me a few minutes to just be glad to have you in your right mind again then I promise to go back to being a dick as soon as I can,’ Orion joked.
I relented, hugging him tight for a moment as we just took a second to appreciate the fact that we were both half free of our shackles, then I huffed out a frustrated breath and kneed him in the balls as hard as I could.
Orion wheezed out a cough laced with a surprised curse and I gave him a shove so he fell back onto the couch beside us as he cupped his junk.
‘That’s for breaking my sister’s heart, asshole,’ I snarled, pointing a finger at him and glaring.
On the one hand, I was seriously pleased to have him back, but on the other, Darcy was my one and only priority in the world and as her big sister – by a few minutes, but whatever – it was my duty to give him a hard time. And that knee to the balls had been a long time coming.
‘Fuck, Tory, why do you always go for the balls?’ he groaned, cupping his crotch with his eyes half closed against the pain.
‘You’re lucky I left them attached to your body,’ I warned. ‘You’re on my shit list, douchebag, and don’t you forget it. I might be seriously happy to see your hairy face, but I’m also going to slap it every time I do until you fix this shit.’
‘Fix it?’ he grunted. ‘There is no fixing it, Tory. It’s too late for-‘
I cuffed him around the ear hard enough to knock his head to one side and he snarled at me, baring his fangs.
‘Stop,’ he warned.
‘Bite me, asshole,’ I taunted and he glared at me for another moment, his gaze darting to my throat for a second like he was half considering trying that before releasing a hopeless kind of laugh.
‘You know, your sister is a lot nicer than you are,’ he grumbled.
‘No shit, Sherlock. That’s why I’m kicking your ass on her behalf. She’s too good to go for the balls but I swear to you now, if you hurt her again then I’m coming for yours with a fist full of Phoenix fire. Got it?’
‘You’re a fucking animal,’ he said, shielding his junk protectively and giving me a look that told me he knew I meant it.
“Yeah. And don’t you forget it. Now, why don’t you get me a drink and we can sit here feeling sorry for ourselves together while I wait for Lionel to get back before I have to pretend I’m a soulless vessel for the shadows again?’ I dropped down on the couch beside him and he rolled his eyes at me before shooting away and grabbing a bottle of bourbon with a pair of matching glasses.
I took the one he offered me and he poured a healthy dose into it before filling his to the brim.
‘I see you’re back on the booze,’ I commented even though it had been my suggestion. But I wasn’t the one who had already drunk three quarters of that bottle so my point was still valid.
‘Well I have very little reason to abstain these days,’ he muttered.
‘Cheers to that,’ I agreed, clinking my glass against his before sinking the lot and relishing the burn of it running down my throat. ‘You wanna get drunk with me and talk shit about Lionel?’
‘No. That sounds fucking terrible.’
‘I know. But I have to sleep in a bed with him and Clara tonight, so I figure drinking myself to oblivion before then is preferable.’
‘Maybe you could stab him in his sleep?’ Orion suggested.
‘If only,’ I said but even those words made me feel physically ill and my heart began to race with panic at the thought of any harm coming to the man I was supposed to want dead more than anything in the world.
I rubbed at the Aries mark on my arm, trying to shake off the desire to go and check that Lionel was okay and Orion reached out to take my hand.
‘One time I got so mad at Darius that I tried to punch him, but I ended up hitting myself in the face instead,’ Orion said, squeezing my fingers in his and I groaned as I leaned back against the couch, realising I was in the company of the one person I knew who might actually understand the way I was feeling about this shit.
I looked into Orion’s dark eyes, wondering if I could admit the crazy thoughts that kept running through my head about the man who had stolen our throne. With anyone else, I felt like they couldn’t possibly understand this and I’d avoided talking about it, but he knew, he’d lived with this kind of bond for years.
‘At night I lay in bed trying to list all the reasons I have to hate Lionel,’ I murmured, embarrassment clawing at me over what I was about to admit. ‘But I always end up thinking about how luscious his hair is and how he smells like the best combination of iron and charcoal and… how perfect his scowl is.’ I was cringing as I said it, but I was also picturing that scowl and missing it so much it hurt. It was fucked up.
‘His scowl?’ Orion laughed and I smiled a little too even though I knew how fucking crazy it sounded.
‘Well…he doesn’t really smile very often,’ I shrugged, closing my eyes against how goddamn mortifying it was to feel like that about a man I knew deep down I freaking hated. But somehow, with Orion I didn’t mind. I knew he’d understand because he had been forced into a Guardian bond too. Though at least he loved the guy he was bonded to.
‘Have you ever noticed how tall Darius is? And how strong he is?’ Orion asked, a smirk playing around his lips. ‘Or how his eyes have little flecks of gold mixed in amongst the brown?’
‘Yeah,’ I said, biting my lip as I thought about him. There was still a trickle of fear mixed in with the butterflies I felt when he crossed my mind and it was hard for me to figure out exactly what I was feeling there, but there was no questioning the way he looked. ‘He’s pretty fucking nice to look at.’
‘And spoon with,’ Orion added with a grin. ‘One time while I was in Darkmore, I drew all of his tattoos from memory alone just because I couldn’t stop thinking about them. And then I stuck the pictures to the wall beside my bed so I could kinda feel like he was there while I was sleeping.’
We both laughed in a hopeless kind of way and I sighed as I leaned my head back against the couch and turned to look at him.
‘I’m glad someone understands my fucked up thoughts,’ I said honestly because it was so hard for me to be dealing with all of these conflicting emotions for Lionel while everyone else just hated him so ferociously. And it wasn’t like I disagreed, but I felt like such a fucking freak for secretly looking forward to seeing him tonight and wanting to hold him in my arms while knowing that was insane.
‘We’ll work this out, I promise,’ Orion said and I nodded because I knew that we would. Either by figuring out some way to break the bond or by Lionel dying – no matter how much the idea of that made me feel sick to my core.
‘I didn’t just come here to socialise,’ I said, sighing as I leaned forward and placed my empty glass down. ‘I actually came to warn you to expect a visitor in a little while through the tunnels.”
‘Who?’ he asked and I didn’t miss the hopeful tone to his voice.
‘Darcy,’ I confirmed. ‘Gabriel said it’s important the two of us are in the palace tonight so after Lionel and Clara go to sleep, I’ll sneak back out to meet her here.’
‘So…she’s coming alone?’ he asked, his throat bobbing as he glanced towards the kitchenette where Darcy had told me the tunnel emerged.
‘Yeah. And if I come back here and replace she’s been crying, you’ll be enjoying that flaming balls feeling. Got it?’
Orion shuddered, placing a protective cushion over his lap. ‘You’re a savage.’
‘Damn right I am. Don’t go thinking I don’t mean it. Also…maybe you should get changed. I mean, it might make her feel a little better to see how much you’ve let yourself go, but I’m guessing you don’t want to broadcast what you had for dinner to her.” I pointed at the spaghetti stains on his sweatpants and he growled in frustration.
“I haven’t let myself go,” he complained. “I just dropped a bit of my food like five minutes before you showed up here.”
“Uh huh. So what’s the excuse for your shirt being inside out?”
He grabbed his collar and tugged it forward to check and I laughed at him as his eyes bugged out a bit.
“Asshole,” he muttered when he realised I’d been joking.
“Seriously though, did Lionel not leave you any scissors here? Because the homeless yeti look was never in fashion, dude. And Darcy definitely won’t be impressed by it,” I said with a smirk.
“Alright I get it. I’m a mess,” he growled. “But I don’t need relationship advice from you. You’ve got your own shit to work out.”
“Like what?” I asked, rearranging my flouncy dress as I tried to feign ignorance and he scoffed at my act, jabbing me in the arm.
“I’ve had Darius in my bed every night this week talking about you non fucking stop,” he replied. My gut tightened as I wondered if he was exaggerating or not and I couldn’t decide if I wanted him to be. “Maybe I should be kicking you in the junk too.”
“Maybe,” I agreed softly, not really knowing what to say about the Fae the stars had chosen for me.
“He’s a good man, Tory,” Orion said roughly. “Give him a chance to prove that to you again.”
I sighed, not really giving him an answer to that because I wasn’t sure what kind of answer I could give. I was so messed up over Darius that it was impossible for me to make any kind of decisions about him, let alone the fact that the rings in our eyes made those kinds of decisions pretty irrelevant anyway.
I glanced at the clock, seeing that it was five to eight and resisting the urge to start bouncing up and down at the thought of Lionel arriving soon.
“I need to go. Lionel is due back at eight and I’m equally dreading seeing him and so excited that I think I might puke.’ I released a dark laugh and stood, drawing on the shadows to help dull my nerves. If I was going to do this then I had to make sure my mask didn’t slip.
‘Look after yourself, Tory,’ Orion said, pushing to his feet and walking with me towards the door with a look on his face that said he really didn’t want to let me leave, though we both knew I had to.
‘You concentrate on being nice to my sister and I’ll manage a dinner with the King just fine. Then I’ll be back once he’s asleep – Darcy will probably arrive before then.”
Orion’s face paled and he looked down at his spaghetti stain with a frown which made me snort a laugh as I started moving towards the door.
“Now you’ve just gotta decide, do you go with another sweatpants, t-shirt combo? Fancy it up to jeans? Or go all out with a suit and try to casually pretend you forgot she was coming and just happened to be wearing your fanciest shit,” I joked and his face fell.
“Fuck you. I wasn’t even thinking about that until you said it. Next time you’re meeting up with Darius I’m gonna get in your head over outfit choices too.”
“Good luck with that. Unlike you, I don’t give a shit what I wear. We’re not all so vain, you know?” I teased and he growled irritably.
“I’ll figure out some other weakness to exploit in you then,” he threatened.
“Well that’s easy enough. I’m all fucked up inside, so you can just play up to my insecurities about whether or not I’m even a fully functioning Fae anymore.”
“That’s not funny,” Orion muttered, shaking his head at me.
“I gotta laugh if I don’t wanna cry, right? Now if you don’t mind, I need to go cuddle up to the man who imprisoned and tortured me.” I started backing up towards the door but he caught my hand in his, squeezing tight as he met my gaze.
“We’re all at least a little fucked up, Tory,” he said roughly. “But the people who love us don’t give a shit about that. Better still – they love us even more for it.”
My gaze snagged on the friendship bracelet I’d made for him all those months ago and my heart felt full as I smiled at him.
“I missed you, asshole,” I said in a low voice.
“Missed you too, savage.”
We exchanged a look that was a clear promise for us never to speak of this sappy as shit moment ever again and he released my hand so that I could leave.
I headed back out of the summerhouse and into the palace, walking to the informal dining room where Lionel liked to eat. It was his only real option anyway seeing as the majority of the palace was still locked up tight and he couldn’t figure out how to break into any of the rooms. Which was fucking hilarious to me now that I could fully appreciate it.
My heart started pounding as I closed in on the room and when I heard the deep rumble of his voice beyond the door, I broke into a run despite my best intentions, bursting inside.
My gaze snapped straight to my king where he stood by the door and I leapt at him before I could stop myself, wrapping my arms around his neck and squeezing him tight.
‘Ah, here she is,’ he purred in a smug voice as he wound one arm around me and tugged me against him. ‘My little pet.’
Irritation prickled down my spine at that word, but it was tempered by the blissful relief of being reunited with him, and for several seconds all I could do was bury my face against his neck and breathe in the scent of him.
Someone cleared their throat behind us irritably and I turned to replace Darius sitting at the table beside Xavier as they waited for us to join them. My gut plummeted and shame clawed at my insides, knowing he’d just seen all of that. I had to fight off a blush with a tug on the shadows that had my emotions dulling as they took hold of me.
Clara was in the seat to the left of the head of the table, dressed all in black and looking murderous as usual. I got the feeling she was holding Darius in his chair with her grip over his shadows as his jaw clenched and unclenched angrily.
‘You see, Darius?’ Lionel said in a voice that both made me want to throat punch him and stroke his lovely face. For fuck’s sake. ‘Roxanya is thoroughly satisfied by her position beneath me. Aren’t you, my dear?’
Lionel’s cold gaze turned to me and I forced myself to hold his eye, reaching up to touch his face – partly to sell the bullshit better and partly because I really wanted to for some fucked up reason – as my lips tilted into a soft smile. ‘I’m always happy with my king,’ I purred, possibly laying it on a bit thick but it was that or let him see how revolted I was at this gross bond he’d put on me.
Darius didn’t reply, but the way his eyes flared told me he wished he could, and I had Clara to thank for the silence.
‘Come and eat, Daddy,’ Clara begged, patting his chair at the head of the table and he tutted beneath his breath as he drew me towards it with his arm still wrapped around my waist, his hand just barely above my ass.
I was deposited in the seat beside Darius to the right of Lionel’s chair before he sat down himself and I set my gaze on my plate as a prickle of guilt washed through me. This whole thing was so fucked up and Darius had had to endure weeks of this shit, watching Lionel parade me around while I flinched every time he came near me. And now, even after I was back in most senses of the word, I still had to take part in this show. I still wanted to on some level too and knowing how much that hurt him just made me feel like shit.
Before any of us could say anything else, the door opened once more and Catalina walked in, her arm looped around Vard’s and her face pale. I stiffened in my chair despite my best efforts not to react, but now that I had my full memories of the things Lionel and his Seer had done to me it was hard not to show fear in their presence. My bond to Lionel made it easier with him, but the Cyclops was a different matter.
Clara seemed to forget all about keeping Darius in check as Lionel sat beside her, climbing into his lap and stroking his hair in a way that half made me want to kick her in the vag so that I could take her place, and half had me relieved that he was distracted. I could already tell this night was going to be exhausting as I battled through this yoyo of emotions I felt around Daddy Acrux and I had to suppress a groan as I looked down at my lap.
Lionel didn’t seem to notice as he turned his attention to the serving staff who instantly appeared with plates of food, but Darius’s fingers found mine beneath the table and he ran his thumb across the back of my hand.
My heart leapt and fear shot through my veins, but as Darius made a move to withdraw his hand, I caught his thumb to stop him.
My hand was trembling, part with fear and part with something much more exciting as I touched him. I slowly slid my fingertips across his calloused palm as I extended the contact between us and he ran his thumb up the inside up wrist, sending a trail of fire racing through my flesh.
Surely that wasn’t a normal reaction to someone half holding your hand, but I couldn’t deny how damn good it felt to just stay there like that. Knowing he had my back.
His touch sent a shiver of longing through my skin and I had to fight the urge to look at him as I tightened my fingers around his, keeping hold of him as my pulse settled a little.
Bowls of soup were laid out alongside freshly baked bread rolls and I chanced a look at Darius as his thumb stroked over my wrist again. His eyes were fixed on me, the rage burning in them all aimed at his father and making my heart race as I looked at it. It was impossible to see anything but the dangerous creature this man was as I peered up at him and yet for once, I wasn’t afraid.
My mouth suddenly felt endlessly dry and I wetted my lips as I found myself captured in his gaze while he seemed to be silently asking me what he should do. I knew that if I asked him to, he’d leap out of his chair and take his father on for me. But we also knew that between Clara’s hold over the shadows inside him and the fact that I’d be compelled to place myself between Lionel and death, that wasn’t an option.
Just as I felt like I might lose myself in Darius’s eyes and the feeling of his hand in mine, the waiter behind me cursed as he dropped the bowl of boiling hot tomato soup he was trying to place before me. The bowl crashed into mine and Darius’s hands, knocking them apart as bright orange soup flew everywhere and I sucked in a pained breath as it burned me.
Darius leapt to his feet with a curse as he got a lapful of it and Lionel snarled furiously, slamming a fist down on the table and snapping his fingers as he stole the oxygen from the waiter’s lungs.
“What the hell kind of a way is this to serve food at the royal table?” he bellowed, making all of the waiters flinch in anticipation of his next move.
Clara leapt to her feet, cackling with glee as the clumsy waiter stumbled back, falling against the wall as he clutched at his throat in panic.
‘Release him,’ Darius demanded, waving his own hand and using his water magic to gather up all of the spilled soup before depositing it back in the bowl. ‘It wasn’t his fault, Father, I knocked his arm.’
‘He did,’ Xavier added quickly. ‘The waiter didn’t do anything wrong.’
‘When I want the opinion of the talking horse, I will ask you to speak,’ Lionel snapped, casting a disgusted look at Xavier before lifting his soup spoon and beginning on his meal as the waiter continued to suffocate in the corner of the room.
‘I said, release him!’ Darius shouted, his fist thumping down on the table and making everyone’s plates jump.
Catalina yelped in alarm and Xavier released a frightened whinny while Vard smiled like he’d already seen how this was going to play out. And if he was excited about it then I knew it could only be bad.
I looked between the dying waiter and Darius fearfully, forcing myself not to say a word despite how much I wanted to. Revealing the truth of my situation now would only make everything so much worse for all of us, but if Darius couldn’t save the man’s life then I didn’t know what I was going to do. I couldn’t let him die. He’d only dropped the damn soup because I’d been holding Darius’s hand and the stars had used him to force us apart in their fucked up way.
‘If you are so concerned over the life of a servant then perhaps you would like to volunteer to take a punishment in his place?’ Lionel asked, pausing with his soup spoon half way to his mouth.
‘Fine,’ Darius gritted out, his jaw ticking with fury.
Lionel smiled cruelly and released the waiter without even bothering to look his way. His face had turned blue and blood vessels had burst in the whites of his eyes, but I was fairly certain he would survive so long as someone healed him sharpish. Two more of the wait staff hurried over to drag him from the room and I held my breath as Vard tittered a laugh and Lionel returned to eating his soup.
Darius slowly lowered into his chair and it soon became clear that Lionel had no intention of punishing him yet, drawing out the suspense as he focused on his meal.
I met Darius’s eye for a brief moment, hoping he could see how sorry I was for causing that problem before forcing myself to eat my own soup.
Lionel didn’t break the silence again throughout the starter and only spoke once the main course was well underway and we were all thoroughly terrified of what the hell he was going to say.
‘Vard foresaw something very troubling today, didn’t you?’ Lionel said finally and my gut tightened as I wondered what the hell his twisted Seer could have seen. Was he watching me closely? Was there any chance that he might know I was no longer fully under the control of him and his master?
‘Yes,’ Vard said in that snivelling tone of his that turned my stomach. ‘I was blessed with a vision of a great library. One which holds more forgotten knowledge than we can even imagine.’
‘Where?’ I asked, keeping my tone as neutral as I could.
‘That’s the problem,’ Lionel said in a tired voice. ‘It has been hidden away by yet another group of lowly Orders, trying to steal from their betters.’
‘What the hell is that supposed to mean?’ Darius growled.
‘You yourself know how conniving Sphinxes are, don’t you, Darius?’ Lionel mused. ‘After all, I heard you were screwing one not so long ago.’
I had to fight the urge to wrinkle my nose at the reminder of him dating Marguerite and I focused on pushing my food around my plate, hoping no one was paying me much attention.
‘She was trying to secure a position as your bride, did you know that?’ Lionel asked with a disgusted laugh. ‘Her father actually had the nerve to come to me about it. He claimed you were in love and wanted to try and arrange a marriage for you. As if I’d muddy my lineage with blood like theirs.’
‘We should punish them for suggesting it, Daddy,’ Clara said excitedly and he gave her a small smile.
‘I have even better reason to punish them than that,’ he said. ‘This library Vard saw held all manner of priceless tomes and artefacts, scriptures and knowledge long since lost to us. All stolen by Sphinxes and hidden away with the help of the Minotaurs.’
‘Minotaurs?’ Xavier asked in confusion. ‘Why would they help to hide-‘
‘The library is underground, in the centre of a labyrinth carved by their half-shifting kind,’ Lionel spat. ‘And soon I will release this knowledge to the rest of the kingdom. Solaria will decide what we should do about these lesser creatures trying to conceal and hoard knowledge which they have no right to take from the rest of us.’
‘And the people will cry out encouragement to help their king retrieve it,’ Vard said confidently, running a hand through his long hair and licking his lips as he surveyed Catalina over his wine glass. She supressed a shudder and I watched her with a faint frown as I realised I hadn’t removed Lionel’s most recent Dark Coercion from her since he’d bonded me to him, the thought making my gut stir guiltily.
‘So what?’ Darius demanded. ‘Now you’re going to start persecuting even more Orders? Just because this fucking…Seer claims to have seen a secret library in a vision. Even if it’s true that some small selection of Sphinxes and Minotaurs were in on such a collusion, how can you possibly claim that all of them are to blame? And how come these Orders all happen to be those you despise the most – the weakest, most common Orders who you’ve always looked down on so fucking much? It seems more than a little convenient to me.’
Lionel lowered his fork to his plate slowly and turned his eyes from Darius to me.
‘I think it’s time for my son to learn that lesson, don’t you agree, Roxanya?’ he asked in a low voice and Clara clapped excitedly as she moved to stand on her chair to get a better view.
“Punish him, Daddy! Make him bleed!” she cried.
Ice spilled through my veins as I realised he was going to make me dish out the punishment and I couldn’t help but remember him making me hurt Darius before in the throne room. But it had been different then. I’d been watching through a veil of shadows, unable to feel anything, unable to care either. This was asking too much of me while I was playing this part and I didn’t think I was going to be able to do it.
‘Why not just do it yourself?’ Darius demanded, pushing to his feet and opening his arms to make himself into an easier target. ‘Or don’t you have the stomach for it anymore, old man?’
Lionel tutted at the goading and I looked up at Darius with wild eyes as I silently begged him to stop. I knew why he was doing it – he was trying to save me from having to be the one to hurt him, but I also knew that the more he ran his mouth, the worse Lionel would make this for him and I couldn’t fucking bear that.
‘It hurts you more when she does it,’ Lionel explained cruelly, getting to his feet and placing a hand on my shoulder. ‘Perhaps I should get her to use something more personal than the shadows to really drive the point home?’ He lifted his steak knife between us, cocking his head thoughtfully as he looked at his son.
‘Stop,’ Xavier begged, moving to get to his feet, but Clara flicked her fingers as she took hold of the shadows in him and shoved him back down into it.
Lionel looked like he was about to give me the knife and panic flared in me at the thought of that, but before I could figure out how to stop this from happening, Clara threw a ball of shadows at Darius with a cackle of glee.
He cursed as he was knocked back a step and a gasp escaped me before I could halt it. Luckily no one seemed to notice as Lionel nodded his approval, his eyes fixed on his son as he suffered.
‘Give him more, Clara,’ Lionel snarled, his hand tightening on my shoulder.
His excitement turned my stomach and my magic shifted beneath my skin, urging me to do something that I knew would make everything so much worse.
Darius fell to the floor as she flooded his body with her dark power, his limbs spasming as he writhed in agony, a cry of pain escaping his lips that had ice spilling through my core.
Lionel released me suddenly and I gasped as he strode forward and slammed his steak knife straight into Darius’s gut, causing him to bellow in pain.
I lurched forward a step just as the door burst open so hard that it crashed into the wall and half fell off the hinges. I only caught a blur of motion moving across the room and suddenly Orion was there, throwing a huge blast of air magic out from his palm that knocked Lionel back several paces before he managed to get his own magic up to shield himself and the rest of us.
Xavier caught my arm to stop me as I made a move to step forward, his fearful gaze meeting mine as he shook his head in a silent warning while everyone else was caught up watching this horror show play out.
“Step aside, Lance,” Lionel growled with a frustrated huff.
“You know I can’t do that,” Orion snarled, baring his fangs as Darius cursed in pain behind him where Clara still held him in the clutches of the shadows. Orion’s hair was damp and he was wearing a fresh white shirt and jeans but his feet were bare, making me think he’d been in the middle of changing when he’d felt Darius’s pain and been drawn here by the Guardian bond to protect him.
“See your brother back to his accommodation, Clara,” Lionel hissed, his venomous gaze still locked on his son while he bled out on the floor behind Orion.
“No!” Orion threw himself at Darius, reaching for him with green healing magic flaring in his palm a moment before Clara hit him with a shockwave of shadows so powerful that they made the air in the room ripple all around us.
The shadows in me tried to rise up to meet them automatically and I groaned involuntarily as pleasure rolled down my spine, fighting with all I had to keep them back so that I could think clearly. Catalina stared at her son in horror from her seat, seeming unable to even call out to him while she remained locked in her place.
Xavier’s grip on my arm was the only thing stopping me from diving forward to help too and I choked back a sob that lodged in my throat as I fought with the desires of my heart and the desperate need we all had to keep my cover intact.
Orion still tried to crawl towards Darius, crying out in pain as Clara smiled wickedly, allowing him to get just close enough to brush his fingers against the knife protruding from Darius’s gut before yanking him upright with the shadows again.
“Walky, walky, little brother,” Clara purred, miming the action with two of her fingers as Orion’s legs carried him towards the door despite how hard he was clearly trying to stay and help Darius.
His white shirt was stained with Darius’s blood and his desperate gaze met mine with what was undoubtably a plea for me to do what I had to to save his friend’s life.
Clara leapt up onto the table and ran the length of it before diving over Vard’s head and scurrying out of the room behind him as Lionel advanced on his son once more.
“Don’t forget your place, boy,” Lionel snarled, grabbing a fistful of Darius’s shirt and yanking him half off of the ground so that they were nose to nose. “I may have use for you thanks to your brother’s disgusting condition, but the moment you put an Heir in Mildred’s belly, your value will greatly diminish. Perhaps you should consider making yourself more valuable to me before then.”
Darius gritted his teeth against the pain of the knife lodged in his gut, grunting as Lionel threw him back down against the wooden floor and blood pooled out to further stain his blue shirt red.
Lionel slammed his foot into Darius’s side as he straightened and only Xavier’s grip on my arm held me in place as tears burned the backs of my eyes and I fought with everything I had against the desire to start screaming. But I couldn’t do anything about it. Even now, I couldn’t bring myself to truly consider hurting Lionel and the knowledge of that was cutting into me as surely as the knife piercing Darius’s flesh.
‘Fix my son up and see him to his quarters, Roxanya, and make sure he stays in there for the night. I’m replaceing the current company less than stimulating.’ Lionel sneered, tossing his napkin down on the table and heading from the room. ‘You can meet me in my chambers when you’ve made sure he’s locked away.’
Vard stood too, sighing like we were boring him before stalking out of the room after his king and allowing us to act freely.
The moment they were gone, I darted forward, dropping to my knees and pressing shaky fingers to Darius’s stomach as I looked down at the blade protruding from his gut. Xavier leaned in close too, but without the training required for him to help, there wasn’t anything he could do.
“I can do it,” Darius grunted, reaching for the knife like he was going to rip the damn thing out himself and I smacked his hand away as I shook my head.
“I’ve got you,” I growled, wrapping my own fingers around it and meeting his dark eyes as I psyched myself up to do this.
Darius gave me a sharp nod and I held his gaze as I pulled it free. He cursed loudly and I pressed my fingers to the stab wound as I pushed healing magic beneath his skin, seeking out the connection to his magic so that I could fix it as fast as possible.
Xavier whinnied in anguish, stomping his foot and I worked to block him out as healing magic spread from my fingertips.
It took less than a second for my magic to latch onto Darius’s, that thunderous familiarity of his power calling to me like my name in the dark as I found it and I poured my power into him as fast as I could.
My eyes fell closed as I concentrated and after a few seconds, I flinched at the touch of his hand on my cheek as he sat up.
“I’m sorry,” I breathed, blinking back tears as the sight of him lying there, bleeding out on the floor consumed me for an eternal moment.
“I’m fine,” he promised, grasping my chin and tilting it up so that when I opened my eyes again I was forced to look at him and see the truth of those words. “I’ve been living with that monster for a long time. This doesn’t come close to the worst he’s done to me.”
A distressed whinny drew my attention from Darius and I glanced around to replace Xavier still hovering right behind me with Catalina standing on the far side of the table. She hadn’t uttered a word though and the restrained way she held herself had me certain that she was suffering under Lionel’s thumb once more too.
I pushed myself to my feet and moved around the table, taking her hand and driving Phoenix fire beneath her skin, seeking out the Dark Coercion the way I had all those months ago and replaceing new commands binding her mind to Lionel’s will. I destroyed each and every one of them and she gasped as she was released, winding her arms around me and pulling me close as a choked sob escaped her.
“I’m so sorry, sweet girl,” she breathed. “For everything he’s done to you while I was forced to stand by.”
I fell still in her arms, unsure what to do with a mother’s embrace and feeling the weight of it right down to the base of my soul. I’d never had this. Never even come close to it. And something about it awakened a part of me I always liked to pretend wasn’t even there. The part who longed for a mother who had loved her, a family me and Darcy could have called our own but would never know.
“We don’t have time for this,” Darius said gravely and I turned to replace him on his feet, his torn and bloody shirt sticking to his freshly healed skin as he looked at me and his mother with regret in his eyes. “He told you to put me back in my suite and he’ll notice if you take too long.”
“Okay,” I agreed, having no other choice though my mind was still reeling at what had just happened.
Darius cast a concerned look between his mother and Xavier then strode out ahead of me, leaving the others in the dining room with the half eaten meal.
We stayed silent as we moved through the busy palace towards the suites that had been allocated for Darius and Xavier on the second floor of the King’s tower. There were servants everywhere, scurrying from one place to the next and ensuring we weren’t really alone until the moment we reached his room.
When we stepped into the lavish suite that Darius had been given to call his own, he threw a silencing bubble up around us and slammed the door shut before pressing me back against the door and growling darkly. But I wasn’t afraid. Even after all the reasons I’d been given to fear him, right then there wasn’t a single piece of me that believed his fury was aimed my way.
‘Say the word and I’ll take my chances against him now,’ he growled, his voice rough and pained as his grip on my waist tightened and he pressed his forehead to mine, overwhelming me with his presence and making my breath catch in my throat.
‘You can’t,’ I breathed as the lights in the room began to flicker ominously, no doubt a warning from the stars about us being alone. ‘Please, Darius, don’t do anything that will get you hurt.’
‘I’m not letting you go to him,’ he snarled and I shook my head as every piece of me ached with the desire to be able to stay here instead, even though the prospect of that still terrified me too.
‘I have to,’ I replied simply, reaching for the door handle behind me as thunder boomed beyond the windows. If I lingered here, the stars would make sure everyone in the palace knew about it. Not to mention the fact that he was too close, his flesh too warm against mine, his presence too overwhelming and my scars too tender to figure out if I wanted that or not. Especially right now after I’d had to watch his father stab him. It was too much. He was too much. And I couldn’t cope with it right now while Lionel was waiting for me.
‘Stay,’ Darius demanded, his voice a growl that ripped a hole right through me even though we both knew his request was impossible.
‘I can’t,’ I whispered, twisting the handle at my back and swallowing the lump in my throat as I stepped out into the corridor, leaving him inside alone while my heart thundered in my chest.
He didn’t do anything to stop me from leaving but the look in his eyes cut into me as I closed the door between us again and sealed it up with shadows like Lionel had told me to.
As the darkness writhed and twisted beneath my skin, I let the shadows delve deeper than I had all week, needing to coat myself in an armour made of them if I was going to have any hope of making it through the next part of this evening without giving myself away.
I took a moment to try and compose myself, willing my pulse to settle, my tears not to fall. I couldn’t feel this right now. None of it. So I sank deeper into the shadows with a sigh of relief and let them consume every emotion burning through my blood until I couldn’t feel any of it anymore.
I strode up the winding staircase of the King’s tower, climbing higher and higher until I finally reached the top where the predictable sounds of Clara screaming out in ecstasy reached me from beyond the door.
I released a shaky breath and pulled the shadows even closer, letting them lick their way along my limbs and sending shivers of pleasure through my flesh. I was treading a thin line, needing to stay lucid enough to be sure I’d stick to our plan for tonight while using the shadows to deaden me to everything else. But if I was going to be certain Lionel wouldn’t discover me, I had to be as emotionless as possible around him.
I just needed to make it back to Darcy. That was what I had to focus on.
“Give it to me, Daddy!” Clara screamed and I shuddered, trying not to think of the times over the summer when I’d been sitting in the room while he fucked her.
Luckily for me, Clara wouldn’t hear any suggestion of me joining them during those activities which I hadn’t had much feeling on one way or any other at the time, but I was endlessly grateful for now. Lionel seemed to want to keep her happy and she had made it clear that as his favourite she was the only one who would be screwing him, which he seemed to go along with to appease her temper tantrums over other issues. Considering she was the one with the real control over the Nymph army, I could only imagine he was treading a fine line keeping her in check.
I waited until I heard Lionel grunting his release, giving them a few more moments to pull their clothes on and pushed the door open before stepping inside.
Lionel was laying in the centre of the bed with a pair of black boxer briefs in place and Clara’s weird shadow dress had transformed into some semblance of a nightdress too. I hadn’t really given any consideration to that while I’d been under Lionel’s control, but now that I thought about it, she never seemed to wear any real clothes. Even her hair seemed to be made of shadows. What was with that? Come to think of it, she never showered either. And only seemed to eat if she was joining in with our king, like tonight. What the fuck is she?
I headed into the bathroom, collecting a nightdress from the closet on my way and changing quickly before drawing strength from the shadows and heading back to the bedroom where Lionel had already flicked out the lights.
‘Come, Roxanya,’ he growled irritably. ‘The bond won’t let me settle without you close tonight.’
I knew all too well how that felt and I climbed into the bed with a mixture of relief and internal disgust at my situation before shuffling up against his body and relaxing a little as the bond was finally satisfied by the contact.
Lionel leaned over me and took a syringe from the nightstand before taking hold of my arm and moving the needle towards it. I forced myself to stay calm, banishing the shadows completely as I prepared for what I’d known was coming as he drove the needle beneath my skin and dosed me with Order Suppressant once more. My Phoenix was pushed down deep inside of me and I felt so hollow without it that it stole my breath away and I had to fight not to react at all.
Mildred had already been the one to dose me midweek and now that I had full access to my memories, I’d figured out that this was the routine. Twice a week. Tuesdays and Fridays. After Mildred had first done it, I’d almost panicked, but Gabriel had shown up out of nowhere and quickly given me the antidote. He’d sworn to me that he’d be watching to see every time they planned on dosing me again and no matter what, someone would be ready to dose me with antidote as soon as possible afterwards. In the meantime, all I had to do was be careful to stay clear of the shadows and I should be fine.
Though as Lionel tugged me down to lay beside him and Clara shuffled close on his other side, I had to admit that my missing Phoenix was causing me more than a little concern. But I just had to wait until I saw Darcy once the two of them fell asleep and I knew I’d get it back again. So, for now, I just needed to play along.
I lay with my head on the left side of his chest while Clara positioned hers on his right and he wrapped his arms around both of us, pulling us in tightly against him. My palm was flat on his chest right above his heart and as I lay there, I couldn’t help but think how I could fix all of our problems with a single blast of magic.
But the more I tried to convince myself to do it, the more bile rose in my throat and I shuddered with horror at the idea of a world without Lionel Acrux in it until I was practically choking over it.
I was broken. I knew it. This bond he’d placed on me had done something so twisted that my own thoughts and feelings weren’t entirely my own anymore. But I was also a slave to this connection one way or another. And if I wanted to maintain enough of myself to stand a chance of ever escaping him, then I knew I had to accept this side of it for now. I’d lay here in a bed with my enemy and dream of the day that this nightmare would end. But until then, I was going to have to seek solace in his arms again and again and again.
As he and Clara quickly fell asleep, I just lay there, waiting until I could be certain that I could leave without them noticing and trying not to overthink how good it felt to be in his arms and how much I’d been needing this.
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